Do we even really need to wipe? I was in the john at work yesterday and I took a dump. I then noticed we were out of toilet paper and I was too embarrassed to turtle walk and explain my situation to the janitor, so I just...got up, zipped up, and carried on with my day. Took a shower when I got home, blasted it all off with the stretch nozzle. Never had to touch it myself.
The thing is, nobody said a word. All my co-workers just carried on, blissfully ignorant, while I walked around with some secret under my pants. Because that's what it was. What, they're going to be smelling my butt like a dog? Nobody's the wiser.
So when did we get this idea that fecal matter on our hands, the hands we eat with, shake and high five, scratch our faces with, was preferable to fecal matter around our anus? I really don't mind if I have a dirty spincter under two layers of clothes. Much better than getting crap on my hand, under my fingernails, etc., if you think about it.
Why do you touch your asshole. I dont have to touch my asshole at all when I wipe. Toilet paper seperates my hand from the shit 110% of the time. You down there digging for some treats buddy?
Christopher Brown
It happens often. My hands right next to my friggin butthole. I believe everyone gets it once in a while and its gross.
Ayden Gomez
you got shaky hands or something? the fuck is wrong with you?
just get a bidet.
Parker Perry
No it just happens. I don't see how it's weird to you. In fact i think it's probably really common.
Adrian Lewis
no dude... its just you, sorry.
Adrian Perry
Why would you take a shit without checking for toilet paper?
Just use mor toilet paper. Wrap the toilet paper around your hand before taking your hand out of the cwnter of the toilet paper and wipe. It always works for me and I have never accidentally touched my asshole after shitting. Youre just bad at whiping friend.
Zachary Russell
You should really just eat better and you'll have ghost poops.
Isaiah Thomas
My shit is explosives though.
Brayden Myers
If you shit a certain way it is possible to never use toilet paper.
Easton Hughes
I sometimes my shit is so hard that wiping is not necessary.
Imma be real honest with you my dude. So are mine. Havent had a solid shit in weeks. Its concerning but im young so I dont really care. You really are just bad at whiping. Or you have a kaiju ass that your hand and feces gets lost in.
Jaxon Hill
You made this exact thread yesterday. Why are you seeking validation for your disgusting lifestyle choices? Is it because you know it is, in fact, disgusting?
Camden Flores
Well i don't think leaving my ass shitted up during the day is that bad. I'll wash my asscrack later.
Carter Peterson
It depends. If you live somewhere hot you might not notice it bit that smells bad as hell. Trust me. I graduated last year and I still have vietnam styled flashbacks to the greasers (instead of being cool they just dont shower and their hairs grease) and that was a commonplace issue
Dominic Ward
Nigga I live in texas and I shit literal flowers.Don't ever disrespect me like that,Holmes.
Okay well do you wanna tell me what's really wrong with this then? I don't think it's such a big fucking deal.
Nicholas Morris
I live in a cold state then. I think it's fine if i don't wipe my friggin buttcrack..
Jaxon Thompson
It still smells like poo poo
Nathan James
Then why did no one at work say anything, gaylord?
Ayden Wright
Hi Katie
Jordan Sanchez
They propaply thought thats your natural smell.
Kayden Adams
Absolutely disgusting. I will never be with a female who defecates. The whole reason my last girlfriend and I split was because I found out she did, in fact, poop. For months I had suspected something suspicious. Every time we had ethnic cuisine, she would act very odd, especially afterwards. I would try to cuddle with her and fondle her, only to have my advances rejected and her leaving the room. It all came to a head one day when I came home early from work. As usual I wanted to take my shower, but there on the couch, was my girlfriend pleading with me to wait a bit before I cleansed myself. Well, fuck that. I wasn't going to wait another second to purify myself under my brand new showerhead. It then got even more strange. The closer I got to the bathroom the more nervous she became. At one point she even stood directly in front of the door, blocking me. When I finally was able to enter the room, I was horrified at my discovery. It smelled like shit, and not my shit either. No, this was a different, unknown aroma. So here I am, nose deep in an awful smell, my girlfriend next to me crying. I get PISSED. I ask her where the guy is, who he is and how long this has been going on. All she does is look back at me with tear-filled eyes and confusion as she asks what I'm talking about. I then notice the toilet is clogged and at this point I'm screaming at her about whose feces lay in my toilet bowl. Finally, after what seemed like aeons, she broke down, looked me straight in my eyes and said "babe, it's mine. I told you spicy food doesn't agree with me. " Well, that's all I could handle. I was really hoping she would pull the shower curtain back to reveal a naked man, but instead all I got was an admission that my once beautiful and dainty girlfriend had desecrated my porcelain throne with her dirty whore feces. Needless to say, I packed my belongings up instantly and never looked back. Be careful who you trust.
