So you're approached by a genie who offers to give you the ability to eat whatever you want with no negative health...

So you're approached by a genie who offers to give you the ability to eat whatever you want with no negative health consequences, the food is completely free and materializes from your sheer will power thus giving you an unlimited amount of any edible material.

But

1.) You have to eat a whole highly salted butterdog everyday in under 15 minutes or you lose the ability

2.) If you try to use the ability to win eating contests for easy money/fame you get raped by a giant space slug

3.) You can not use the ability to end world hunger or feed anyone but yourself, or whoever you feed spontaneusly combusts 10 minutes after consumption

Do you take the offer? Why or why not? What do you do with the ability?

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Solid career in contract killing with the only downside being have to eat butterdog ?

Did you even think this shit through nigga?

I would, just so I can feed people and see them spontaneously combusting, not for the unlimited food.

I would be saving the world Thanos stile

This is what I was thinking. Imagine setting Africa on fire by trying to feed them.

"Did you even think this through"

Yeah, I actually left that in there wondering wether people would use it for malicious purposes or avoid trying to kill accidently people.

I thought of it but i wouldn't do it.

Also keep in mind you can kill people you don't intend to if you leave your food out and theu steal a bit of it.

So i could potentially spawn rare and valuable live creatures?

I know this is editing the rules after the fact but i think you wpuld only be able to spawn tbings that WERE alive.

Rare and valuable dead creatures?

I can create food at will. I can consume whatever with no repurcussions.
Why would I be leaving food around ?

Sure

Neither of those powers necessarily prevent general clumsiness or forgetfullness.

Is noone gonna mention how you could use this for Stem Cell research? Spawn infinite fetuses using your powers?

When you say "whatever you want" makes me wonder if I can work in professional hazardous/nuclear waste disposal.

No poisoning, no radiation cancer.

Chilled trex testicle soup.
Extract cummies and sell to highest bidder.

> jurassic park burns down when man attempts to bite a dinosaur

You guys really are aspies.

>You can not use the ability to end world hunger or feed anyone but yourself, or whoever you feed spontaneusly combusts 10 minutes after consumption

So I can go around feeding beggars and the problem would be dealt with?

You could also spawn infinite gelatin and use it like that scen in "cloudy with a chance of meatballs" where they make bouncy castles and shit

Draconian, but effective.

Yes

Why thank you my good sir *tips fedora and dabs furiously*

The size of the dog isn't specified. I would simply eat a whole "butterdog" that is so small it can be served on top of a dime. Easy peasy

Nice idea

If you like to be raped by giant space slugs. That is using the power for money. Duh.

New rules

1.) The spawn can be something that WAS once alive but cannot be something that is alive.

2.) The butterdog must be at least 6 inches in length and 1.5 inches thick at mininum to prevent people from eating extra small butterdogs

You do you. Not a big fanof giant space slug rape personally.

you can still use it in a humanitarian way, as long as you avoid the technicality of using it to directly affect world hunger

but with food you can basically generate biofuel, and bring electricity or cars to much of the world

or just fucking sell it, you're making free money, then use your billions to create and ship vaccines, checkmate satan

What if i wanted really badly to eat fictional things (such as baked donald duck)

Make the interior hollow and walls wafer thin.

We can stretch it to the size of a football field if you'd like.

Donald Duck isn't real but it's assumed for the sake of this hypothetical that giant space slugs are real.

could definitely start a cult, also curse people with a plague of delicious animal food that leaves their house swarmed with locusts or birds or something

"Todays top story:
Another man found tragically dead today from being stuffed with food. Authorities say the man was crammed full of burgers to the point where he couldn't breath and asphyxiated. How he got all those or where he got them from, still remain unsolved.
Details, at 11."

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You're an inventive fucker i'll give you that.

> how hot will fire get
> how long will the fire burn
> can you feed animals?

The fire is the bare mininum heat required to kill them and also self-extinguishes after the victims brain and heart cease function.

you could put on a mind-boggling magic act by suddenly making things move around from the added mass of food that you conjured up by your will

the big time magicians make millions

You can't give the food to anything larger than a house fly. Microbial shit can eat it no problem. Guess you could use that to grow cultures somehow.

or commit acts of terrorism by leaving rotting food everywhere

you could basically hold a city's infrastructure for ransom by threatening to spawn food somewhere and let it rot in the city's piping or something

Could the infinite spawn be used to propel myself forward?

Spawn koolaid in the city's water supply.

you could spawn a huge tower of very dense food, constantly having food appear just below your ass, and then jump off of that tower and skydive for free

Assuming the food supports your weight and the propulsion doesn't damge you, yes.
You could belike that black dude from the incredibles.

It would likely be way slower than a car but unlike a car it would be omni-directional and lack the need for paved roads.

You bet your ass some sick inflation fetishist would misuse that power.

So far it's almost entirely yesses andalmost no nos. Think i might need to up the butterdog dosage.

no. I used to eat butter by the spoon as a toddler like a fat fuck and it put me off dairy for life.

Jfc man

>3.) You can not use the ability to end world hunger or feed anyone but yourself, or whoever you feed spontaneusly combusts 10 minutes after consumption

dude. did you just give me the ability to super murder anyone without evidence?


I'd eat a butter dog every day. don't give a fuck.

If you feed someone else he spontaneusly combusts. Didn't you read the premises ?

Greenfags would blame it on global warming.

Eventually people will put 2 and 2 together if people keep dying 10 minutes after eating with you.

That's not technically "evidence" but it's not like you're entirely invincible from being caught.

They'll be no evidence of how you kill but they're will still be dots to connect.

Think Light Yagami in Death Note. Sorry if that's a bad analogy.

Would feed mr trump = easy

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Well you wouldn't necessarily have to "feed" them, you could use the spawn power to make food appear in their stomach or up their ass like that.
But i think the disolving power of the stomach acid would count as "eating" and cause the spontaneus combustion to trigger regardless.

They die if they eat the food you created. If you buy it then it doesn't happen.
Order at arbys if you want plausible deniability for a public murder.

I bet slugs generate their own lube, are they physically abusive? Aside from the rape

^^^^^^^

I ain't a Slug-ologist.

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The fact that they traced anything to light at all, was anime bullshit.

I live in nyc. People pass by thousands of people daily. How the fuck could they pin someone blowing up to me? I can go to supermarkets, pad their inventory with my food. and doom almost every single person who goes into that supermarket,
I can walk into a coffee shop and add sugar to their containers. I can go to a resturant and refill their salt shakers. People constantly sell candy, chocolates and churros in the subway. If I bump into one of them hard enough for them to drop their food I can help them pick everything up and make them a bomb dealer

American law is amazing, if they have absolutely no evidence they won't get far at all. Hell just imagine what I can do if I find a way to access the drinking water.

Light was a stupid highschooler. I could do so much more.

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I might make that a copypasta and send it to people without out context.

the highest honor one can receive on the internet. resume-worthy, really

Devoid of context, the seamless transition from Anime to Terrorism to Churros is hilarious.

Just gonna artificially keep this active till people wake up since i posted it so early UUUUUUUWWWWWWUUUUUUUUU

books are edible, and can be considered food. if this is really "magic", you would ask for a nice, printed paperback book of every experience you have in great detail magically poofed into existence at the end of each week and just go back and review. in fact, if it really WAS that magical, you could ask for a piece of toast that had tomorrow's lottery numbers on them.

getting rich because of the ability = rape by the slug

> to win eating contests for easy money/fame you get raped by a giant space slug

nothing to do with getting rich other ways.