Help me what the fuck is happening

>Hear about Yea Forums from a colleague
>go onto "forchan" one night
>see a dick with an abnormality on it
>Decide to put my phd in psychology to good use
"I'm a doctor, you need to seriously go to the hospital because that's cancer. Please go to a hospital right away!"

Fucking psychologytard

OP, please describe what the bump feel like?
Is it hard?
Is it squishy like there is liquid in it?
Try to detail it as best as possible and maybe we can get you to save some money.

Pop it.

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Are you fucking insane? That is way to big to be a Sebaceous pocket.

Could be a cyst, But based on the sensitive area and the litany of conditions that an ambiguous lump could point to, I'd absolutely recommend seeking medical attention. If it is a benign cyst then you're at least sure to get some of the really fun pain pills.

Can confirm it is cancer. I'm also a doctor

This could be an episode for Dr. Pimple Popper.

Its AIDS

Oh yay

AIDS sorry bruh

why

its hard, cant move it, can only pull skin back so far before it hurts

It’s atavism

c-c-c-c-c-cancer

Had this happen to me before. Its called Thrombosis (blood clot or similar) and is caused by fucking or masturbating to much.

well, I don't have the money to do hospital shit, so I guess i'll live the rest of my days with my lumpy dick. Anyone have an idea of how much longer i have left?

Bro you got a tiddy growing on your dick

See You literally just have to wait it out.

i'm a virgin and i jerk off once a day, maybe twice at most

finally

If you go to the hospital and get it diagnosed they have to treat it. You dont have to pay for it immediately.

That's what happens when you jerk off too much.

Pull that long fucking hair out, maybe that will help

that didn't do shit, still have dick cancer

If it's a tumor then it's probably benign. Tumors like that that grow right under the skin tend to just grow bigger and bigger without ever actually killing you.

Kek

Penis cancer
Sadly, there's no cure, sorry op

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well, shit

Maybe cut it off

lol you got trombones on your dick

Doctor here. It's a Lipoma, a type of tumor. Rare to get it on the penis.

What's lipoma

Just go the doctor instead of asking for advice on this shithole

nah fuck that

An overgrowth of fat cells. Usually benign. Sometimes cancerous.

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Dude I gave you a golden opportunity and you threw it away

Peniurysm .....

Ow my dick
(Not op)

Thanks for clarifying, I almost mistook you for op

I know that gay blowjob

It's the ultimate smegma

kek what? I've had thrombosis. I have a bleeding disorder, so I get them any time I get an IV. It's a hard lump under the skin, sure. But it's also an insanely dark bruise. Like pitch black or dark purple. That doesn't look like a blood clot at all.

No shit it's rare, considering there aren't any fat cells on the kahk.

Please poke with needle and squeeze

Yeah, most likely a benign cyst but I'd get it checked out. U can get some awesome pain pills or some bad news. Either way seems like you need to go to the doctor.

Still recommend seeing a doctor tho

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Google has spoken !!!

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i have masturbated several times a day since I was 8 and fucked an average of 5 times a week since i was 16. never had anything like this happen. worst I've ever had was dry skin and scabs from spots where skin got rubbed off.

if it's hard and squiggly... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sclerosing_lymphangitis

I had this although the vein was more visible. I used to jack off/fuck way too long and vigorously because I was on psych meds that made it hard to cum.

If that doesn't match your symptoms, then it's Super AIDS and you're going to die :/

ah gee, it was my heel after all

you're pregnant

dammit not again.

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this

Yeah, going to the er would really fix cancer.

I'm a doctor OP ,Shit do you wash your hands before masterbation, it looks like cho con

Emergency room before that abscess gets into the bloodstream and you fucking go septic and die.

Maybe it's sperm stuck behind your foreskin
Pull it off

no

Synthol

You are the true cancer

Definitely super aids. In my professional opinion. I am a doctor as well

leave it alone
perfect for the g-spot.
bitches will love it

OP you have dick doctor
Trust me I am professional cancer

This

Go to a fucking doctor. I'm serious.

Cock cancer and AIDS from fucking niggers in the ass probably

Doctor posting.

This is indeed a tumor, possibly cancerous. Go to the hospital ASAP

i dont have jungle fever

Parasite Egg Sack has been laid, probably a bot fly.
youtube.com/watch?v=0Obk1wVXfTI

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Op just pop that bitch

Thanks captain obvious

>Lipoma
Lipoma nuts

Cheerio under foreskin.

Lip on ma DICK

(Random user that’s got your back)

That's a ligma.

Shit looks mad fucked my guy, like that shouldnt be goin on with no ones shlong, go see a damn doctor

Sterilize a needle

This OP

I’m also a doctor let’s get a rectal exam going, you know...for medicine

It’s lupus. Sorry OP.

I"m actually legit docter unlike the other ones, and I say - this isn't cancer, this is a fucking lobster you've got here.
Go to the doctar as quick as pissible.

you did break your penis engine

PhD Doctor here got my PhD from the institute of Coahuila Mexico. Can confirm that is indeed truly and most definitely cancer. Look at my god damn PhD that I am so proud about.

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found patient zero

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I'm sorry to tell you OP but your penis is developing a chin. Soon it will develop the face of Jay Leno, and then it will become self aware on August 29th

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