I am a 28 year old male. My mother passed away in March. It was very sudden, I only had about 4 days worth of warning which I spent with her. On the last day I had spoken to her less than an hour before she died. I'm sure I'll mostly get shit on because it's fuckin Yea Forums so duh, but just thought I'd ask if any other anons out there lost a parent they really liked and how long it took them to recover. I have a father but he was a horrible person and I do not talk to him, so now I have nobody. There are people at work who "care" but by "care" I mean "spend all their time texting when people are trying to communicate with them"...you know...normal people "caring", not real caring with any sort of depth...but anyway...just posting this cause I have nowhere else to go really...It's just kinda scary having no emergency contact and shit, you know? Anyway, uh, thread for people whose parents died way too young I guess.
I am a 28 year old male. My mother passed away in March. It was very sudden...
You never really recover from the loss of a loved one. You learn to cope. Birthdays Mothers days these will trigger your tears until you are 150 years old probably older. It is all part of the journey called life. Here is hoping the tears never drown you.
Yeah, that's what I figured. I guess I'm just desperately grasping. Pretty pathetic, huh? I do wonder if I'll ever feel I deserve the title of "man".
Start drinking heavily. If you take uppers when you drink you wont black out (i dont anyways)
At least you got warning. My next door neighbor, good long time friend, found his mother dead on his couch mouth full of vomit, tried cpr but she was gone, had a stroke or something. His father had passed only a few months before that, was a brilliant lawyer and judge and his mind was slowly deteriorating until his death. Then his dog about 3 months after his mother. He's still going strong and so will you. Also, he was about low 30s when all this happened.
>Pretty pathetic
No unless you consider being a human with a heart pathetic. Course most Yea Forumstards do. So don't listen to them.
Grow your Soul.
That is fucking terrible. I guess that makes it look kind of positive that I don't have much else to lose. I suppose I could lose my job or get evicted, knock on wood.
I've been through addictions to both booze and opiates. Also was a very very heavy pot smoker for a long time. Also acid. Drugs, while entertaining, don't really seem to be solving much.
I do this
I don't, truly...I'm just feeling really fucking down on myself today. It's kind of sad really, because I don't fit in even here anymore. I remember coming here back in 2007-2008 and finally feeling like I had a place where my misfit-ass self could fit in. Nowadays...not so much. I don't fit in with the normal people, I don't fit in with the "fake-normal"/"fake-weirdo" people (e.g. Reddit, Tumblr) and I apparently no longer fit in here either....meh
haven't experienced anything like you did but hang tight user
hey man. i was super close to my fathe rbefore he suddenly passed away. it will be 6 years in a month since he passed and goddamn it still hurts. you just gotta occupy yourself unfortunately. maybe hit up a few therapy sessions. i was hesitant to do that, but it honestly helped talking about my thoughts.
(Posted the story about my neighbor) no one is normal. No one cares if you're not normal, except you. You are the only one placing a shadow of an image on which to base your entire existance upon. Just chill man. Do you think your parents would want you to cry over them? Probably not.
It gets easier (yes, very cliche), but then sometimes it doesn't. It gets worse, then better, etc. Just have to accept it's something you lack control over, and that's ok.
It's been 15 years. I suppose after 6 months the edge goes away. After 5 years you can just as easily stroll down memory lane without instant tears. Just read through their diary the other day (15yrs) and I cried.
suicide is the only option
I will pray for your mother user. Keep your head up.
Nice! You're super edgy!
would recommend the song 'sometimes i forget' by loudon wainwright iii written after his dad died
How did you quit opiates? Rehab?
Both my parents are dead...two of my brother's also...one suicide the other murdered..I drink heavily and do hard drugs . I'll never be the person I once was...life is just wind swept wasteland..cold and dark...I can't. Do friendships or relationships I trust nobody. One day this torture will be over...but for what??? Why have I been forsaken..
The first time you lose a loved one is hard. You'll be good in about a week. Try not to think about it too much.
Hey man, I hope things get better.
Bearing your fate is a hard task, but it's something you learn from and you can thus better yourself.
Try religion or a non-meme ideology, I know some people that had it rough as hell, they picked up National Socialism and its philosophy behind it, and now they have iron hearts and souls.
inb4 nazi gtfo
I don't give two fucks about being called a nazi, trying to help out. Stay safe man
Lost both my parents about 5 years ago, ~6 months apart. Different causes. It sucks, user. It really does. The first three years are the worst but it does get easier. Holidays are the hardest, of course. Try to get as much support as you can from friends and surviving family, and you'll make it through.
there are three things i do when my life falls apart
number one: I cry my eyes out and i dry up my heart
not until i do this will my new life start. thats the first thing that i do, whem my life falls apart.
the second thing i would do, is i'd close both of my eyes and say my thank yous to each and every moment of my life.
i go where i know thelove is, and let it fill me up inside, gatjering new strength from sorrow, as im glad to be alive.
the third thing i would do when my world caves in, is i'd pause, take a breath and bow to let the chapter end. because i design my future bright, and not by where my life has been, and i try try try try try try again.
Yes i TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY
TRY AGAIN.
Things are looking up.
I know beyond the dark the sun is rising.
I know beyond the clouds the sun is shining.
Love is still the answer that Im relying on.
Along with my three little things.
>My mother passed away in March.
You should have replied to that post.
You're an actual retard
Well she didn't die in her sleep, so there's that.
You are not pathetic for feeling human emotions. Grief has stages and healing takes time. Don't rush yourself. Feel it and process it. It will hurt like a bitch, it will never truly go away and that is a good thing. As long as you will carry the memory of your mum in your heart, she will be there with you whenever you need it.
OP I am truly sorry for your loss.
Walk your life so your mom would be proud.
On the bright side, you're now immune to those posts.
My Mother died almost 4 years ago. I was in a deep deep depression for almost 2 years. It gets better, but obv you never fully heal. Holidays are the worst.
First of all let me say that "Coping" is for pussies. Fuck your cope memes and cope pussy ideology.
Second. Its okay to cry your fucking eyes out. Get it all out sooner rather than later. Cry amd talk to people about it. Doesnt have to be therapists. I find therapists to be unhelpful but others found solace in them. Whatever works, but get out all the tears.
I lost my love due to a fucking asshole being afuckibg asshole. Rather than murdering him and getting bootybumped in jail with possibility of parole and bail, I chose to take up MMA. My agression gets out in the ring.
I also do music and graphite artwork. Most of my shit turns out to be personal, and is unentertaining to others, but thats okay. its just for myself to pour my love and studies into.
The wound that is created may never heal, but just know you are not alone, and can build yourself up in thousands of other ways. Just like Goku says, use the pain of loss to your advantage.
Its been a while amd i can say that it teaches you to see through the bullshit in life. I dont recommend drugs in this fragile state, as personally it only made me lament, but everones brain is different. If you get blazed and make music or whatever, more power to you, but be aware of the difference between delaying the healing process with drugs, or using them TO heal.
Also remember that above all your mom would want you to be happy and move on with your life.
yaaas
no joke, jason mraz makes some positive ass songs. they really do make me feel better through their lessons.
Thank you, everyone for reaching out...I really appreciate it. There's not much I can say I guess, other than it really means a lot. I am reading everything though.
Being alone is a human experience that everyone shares at some point in their life. You should try to cope by reaching out to close friends and spend time with each, one on one so you can feel both safe and not pressured.
Of course, don't think or talk about it too much, distract yourself with new healthy habits and watch yourself closely.
You'll get through this the same way every other functioning adult has since the dawn of time.
I do not have close friends or any remaining family. Just my girlfriend who does not live with me. I have no desire for friends anymore -- unless I can find someone who is actually genuine, which seems difficult if not impossible. People seem more interested in their phones or celebrities or politics than spending real quality time with another.
hey m8, my parents still alive, lost some relatives, and cousin has MS. my moms the light in my life and my father is the darkness (a real asshole) interesting to see persectives on here.
when my dear professors mom passed...she flipped on everyone. But its been years and shes doing okay externally. i talk with her alot after graduation, so i have a feel for the timeline of recouping. its a few rocky years. she tellsme that everyone goes through it. every single person. the point is you can be sad all you want, but it shouldnt be an excuse to let your existence pass you by. if anything, you should make your parents as proud as possible. and make yourSELF proud as possible. your achievements no matter how small you think they are, will always build you up.
you should see my professor now. the amount of poise and self perserverence went through the roof. best god damn teacher i ever seen. hardened her like a diamond.
youre not alone user. build yourself. use the pressure to make yourself hard like a beautiful diamond
(pun sort of intended)
remember. Hard like diamond.
Finding genuine people is hard, but you need contact to a lot of people to find anyone in the first place.
OP, do you do team sports? What are your interests?
this right here.
1/100 people outside are not retard zombies.
all the good ones stay inside.
you need to increase your odds by exposing yourself to large groups with potential mates and potential friens.
meet 300 people, 3 of them will be great for you.
meet 300 people in an activity you enjoy? probably 30 of them are great for you
You should have responded to the thread user.
I don't. I used to be fit and all that but after these past few years I just sit at home and fuck around on MMO private servers. I just play by myself really. I am a pretty good programmer and that's about it. I tried every sport in school, didn't like them. I like music a lot, but I can't gather the motivation to do anything anymore. I also spent 3-5 years going through the psychiatric/therapy mill which ultimately accomplished nothing -- probably made me worse, honestly. I know what I have to do: Get fit and get a better hobby and whatever. I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm also now becoming an even more pissy and bitter asshole, and instead of being really passionate about things and even getting worked up, I'm just miserable. I've reached the point where I feel life has finally defeated me and I am just going to give up. I'm just not caring about much of anything. My girlfriend is great and wonderful and I keep treating her shittier and shittier no matter how hard I try not to. She claims she won't leave me but I'm sure she is probably just lying...the fact that this discussion even has to happen at all tells me I'm fucking up big time. I'm just sick of everything. I've fought too hard for too long. I am tired.
was 22 when my father died. He was in EU I was in NA. No warning, he died within 2 days of collapsing at home and ambulance picking him up and got transfered a lot and was in such bad state that couldn't even talk on the phone so didn't even say goodbye not to mention we haven't spoken for 3 weeks because it was 4th year right before exam time- yes I could of called him. There is also a lot more to it but I never recovered properly- right after his death I realized that all I was focusing really doesn't fucking matter and he died alone because of it and because of my honesty about my delusional future life. now 32 married, unemployed with masters in STEM cuz I got no CERTs or other bs that I hear. I give 0 fucks about money, and the status quo like we call it with the wife. Little incoherent rambling but that whats you get. Be happy you get to say good bye and you were there for her user
you can't escape opiates
he probably still has cravings
>you can't escape opiates
bs, i do opiates recreationaly. altho not retarded falling asleep doses, but its great- i get a buzz for 2 days -3rd is a bitch tho
just stop taking it and suck up the withdrawals. you want easy solutions and there are none. get some will power and perseverance.
One of my best friend and liyerally one out the 3 that i have,passed away 1 year ago committing suicide. 4 days prior they found him in his car (death by gas),i've been to his house playing ps4 visdya but,he didnt say anything to me,nor have i see him enotionally down. He was like me,prefer to stay in silence and take hits emotionally,without saying anything to avoid making other people worried.
Even if it has been 1 year and half since his death,till to this day i remember him and couple of tears obiviously drop,but the trick is..acceptance. If you accept the fact that the passed away person in question its walking the land no more,but still keep alive in your head the memories,you will suffer less but still have memories.
Anyway OP, i hope you will pass this endurance test but,as said from another user is just an endurance life test. Had to stop by and share my experience