How do I get rid of constipation, Yea Forumsros?

Youre probably dehydrated 2 days isnt long. Drink water and eat a curry should shoot out, or try a plunge

I've been drinking about 1.5 litres a day. The only other change is I've started taking some supplements to perform better at the gym. I don't know if they're related.

eat some fucking vegetables you dummy

Have u tried fresh fruit. Maybe a large amount of water? Maybe some creatine?

I've pretty much lived off tuna, rice, fruit and whey shakes. Plus the supplements if they count.

Yep, I've been taking all of those.

I just keep letting out these disgusting farts.

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Only 2 days, wtf that's nothing

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Today I wasn't able to perform as well at boxing because of it. It's harder to spar someone when you're holding in a shit.

enema

Does a water bottle work?

sure but it won't be too comfortable
just get water far enough up there and hold it for a few minutes and your body will just flush everything out

Can't argue with those digits, if the triple shot espresso doesn't work then I'll try that.

You know how you stick your finger down your throat, sticking your finger in your butt will help you shit.

Or i'll just take my fingers out and have shit all over them. Kek, nice try.

drink a shit load of water and eat something with loads of fibre

also jam your fingers up your butt and pull the poo out lmao then post pics with timestamp

Have u tried not being anal retentive?

I've drank a litre of water and ate 2 punnets of blueberries. Let's see what happens.

Calm down, freud.

All seriousness, have you tried OTC laxatives or food with laxative properties like coconut?

Punnet? Do you mean pint?

>Punnet
Is this just a word used in the UK? It's just a small basket used to keep fruit and other produce.

US calls them baskets

Or pints

Stop eating white bread and anything without fiber--cake, cookies, pastries, etc. Start eating brown rice everyday. Also steamed vegetables--sweet potatoes and many kinds of mixed vegetables. Eat a lot of fruit in the morning when your stomach is empty. No fried food, no hamburgers from fast food places. Enjoy.

put an extra large buttplug up your ass and keep it there until you have to shit

I stopped eating brown rice and switched to white because of the arsenic content.

Good idea, user.

Miralax and water

Where can I get that from at 2am?

taco bell

I forgot some of the brown rice does have a high arsenic content. You might try 100% whole wheat bread every day. The idea is to to get a lot more fiber from foods. Don't forget to drink plenty of water also. Good luck.

The UK doesn't have taco bell.

I bought some brown bread earlier, I'll include it in my diet now.

Stay mad eurocuck

Cheers, user.

#Brexit

Hot sauce

Lots of hot sauce.

Walmart

We've got ASDA instead, the pharmacy in there closes earlier. Drugs are harder to get in the UK than in the USA.

I put quite a lot of sweet chilli sauce on my dinner yesterday.

prunes and prune juice will cure your constipation

What the fuck is a prune?

Try magnesium citrate. I work in the medical field & it’s very rare that this doesn’t do the trick. Just be sure to take it on an empty stomach with at least 1 glass of water. You’ll be having explosive shits within the hour.

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dried plums.
taste great, but will cause anal catastrophes if you eat more than a few

Where do I get it from?

I've got some plums, if I leave them out for a while will that work?

Dried figs are good too. Turn your shit into explosive shotgun blasts with all the tiny seeds.

Any pharmacy or drug store. I’m not familiar with U.K. but it’s over the counter here in the US. It will work better than prunes or even miralax because those work from the stomach & slowly act downward through the body whereas magnesium citrate starts in the lower intestines & moves upward to flush it all out.

Eat a brick of cheese

You take the magnesium orally just to clarify.

Absolutely. Works better if you leave them in the sun

I'll see if I can get hold of it tomorrow

It's 3am now, but in the morning I'll put them out.

buttery noodles. makes me shit niagra falls 7 times over

or you could just buy some in asda. sunsweet is the best tasting. chop them up and put them in a bowl of all-bran or bran flakes, put the toilet roll in the fridge

sugar free haribo gummy bears are legendary

I pass ASDA on the way to the gym, I'll get some when I go later.

dried prunes are the best natural cure for constipation.

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They look like dates.

Drink a can / bottle of Coca-cola. It's basically drain cleaner for your bowels.

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Caffeine seems to be helping a bit, I drank a triple shot of espresso earlier.

It's not just the caffeine. Coke is so highly acidic that it breaks your stoppage down and gets things moving again.

this, just finger your asshole faggot. constipation will be gone in no time.

I've got a mate who puts 9 inch lion dildos up his arse, I'll ask his advice.

Fiber