I have a similar situation.
My mother beat the living shit out of me my entire life. Not just spankings or bullshit like that, but closed fists, kicking and standing on me while I was on the ground, grabbing me by the hair and smashing my head repeatedly into walls. And that was just the physical abuse. My mother is a diagnosed schizophrenic, who basically just turned into a crazy person after an accident as a teenager left her with head injuries.
Got pregnant at 18, but her parents hated my biological dad because he smoked weed and shit. Forced her to leave, so she married my illiterate stepdad a few months later, told everyone he was my father, named me after him.
Had my brother two years later, he is born with spinal disorder, brother dies at two. Mother loses her shit, starts beating me (I’m about 4-5 here), locking me in my room the entire day. Stepdad doesn’t care as long as he gets dinner and pussy.
Poor as fuck, beatings keep going. Another brother born a few years later. I still get beatings constantly, but he is loved. Start to hate him and fight him all through childhood, but winning because older, stronger.
Always poor, living in two house trailers basically sat up against one another with a hole cut in both walls so double wide right? Parents always go out and eat and spend money but leave kids at home or with grandparents. Never have anything nice, always stink and bullied at school. Spend most of my childhood a coward.
At 15, mother tries to stab me in argument, cutting my arm. Decide this is enough and call grandmother who knows about abuse and offered to let me move there if I was ever in need. Leave that night.
I don’t see my mother much for the next few years. Avoid her stepdad and brothers at holidays because don’t want to relive that shit. Think things are going great, but then realize why my mother is how she is, and that was because of grandmother.
Contd