Killing some time. sitting in front of pic related

hoity dinos are the best dinos

Say "feminine penus makes me cream from my hole where the brown steam comes from.

I beg of you:

So earlier today I was like shite im hungry af so i went to the Fridge and grabbed a dag gone hot pocket and said well dAMN i cant eat this yet. so i put it down and turnd on thr microwave and waited so it rang and i grabbed my hot pocket and thought DAmn i have literally eaten 2 pieces of coleiflower all day i cant let this piece of food cool! so dude i shat you not i dug right in and wow have i regretted that decision so i said DAMN! HOOO BOY! WOW! HECK! THAT IS FYCCIN HOTTER THAN YUNG THUGS MIXTAPe IN AN ARIZONA BASEMENT so then i went to the frige an stuck my mouth on 6 ice cubes and acidnetly swallowd one and staretd choecking BLLLLLLL EH JCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK CCCCCCCCCCCCCC HUUU and i cled the 911 people an they sade "911 whst is your emergency" and i said KEEEEEEEEEEEEEE KKKKKK BKKKKKKKKK BKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK an they said ok so u need poliec? an i said OIOUS CVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV and they said wats yoru adres and i said HHHHHHHH HGG KKKKKMN LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLC and theY SDaid ok i thnk your chokeing and im sending help rit away so 10 mnutes later the ambuandece arived an they smacked my back an i spit ice RIIIIIIIIIGHT outta that mouf of mine and i said wOW dude ur the real OG here have a nickel and they sade nono we goota go so i sadi ok thank and they said no pronlem and i said ues so they drov off and in the end i never finished my hot pocket and i re heated it and that triggered my PTSD so i said WOU nope NEOPE so i never ate my hot pocket

vocaroo.com/i/s1rVpuv3ZZjz
bangbang

You're a fucking savior

" The shine could use more porn bots"

i do what i can my child

"reddit master race."

vocaroo.com/i/s0s6pkrx4vWn

vocaroo.com/i/s1XHndRc7gGd

"Bryan from harmon, has a little dick."

I lived in china for. A while. Made lots of friends. It’s almost universial that they have the pressure from parents to succeed to be Super smart. So i asked one of my friends, Zhong Feng (central wind) His mom told him he needed to get A’s in class. Because he’s not an B-sian, he’s an Asian. And i thought about. Becuase i barley got through school because i was a MexiCan. And i started thinking about the ethnic correlations and academic outcomes. (I’m a Mexican+) Black people know what they got? Bs? Nah they got that D! And Filipinos are just fucking stupid

I'm starting a antivax boy band. It's called the quaranteen. Lots of turn over because everyone ends up being the bad boy eventually. Well at least at rehearsal they always seem hungover. Throwing up and pale skin sunken eyes.
My dad left early. But he wasn't a total dead beat. He did teach me the definition of the word plenty. It meant a lot
Boneless chicken wings are chicken nuggets
You can't stand backwards on stairs
I don't want to kill myself because I hate littering
Water flaor is it's rempature

When you drive slow you aren't trying hard enough in life. And do you not have goals or people you care about

I don't know about you guys but I've been getting older

Had a weird childhood. Got into word habits not like playing with fire or killing animals but almost terrible.
I'd break into houes in the neighborhood not steal anything but just do really annoying things. I had an older brother that annoyed me but I was not confrontational so I wouldget out my angst differently. I didn't have a dad so no one taught me about jerking off what else was I going to do?
I'd save dying 9 volt batteries so I could replace them so they'd do that really annoying beeping sounds.
I'd hide remotes.
I'd leave pamphlets for STD clinics stashed places.

If I could find cereal or bread I'd open it up so stuff would get stale. Now I never did anything weird you know like weird.. and it got me my current job alarm tech.

vocaroo.com/i/s0B14E4uEOFi

Make DEEZ NUTS great again!

oh jesus good luck op.

I LOVE YOU OP sksksks made my day.

Please say “shawn you ass-cradling dung stick, go to sleep.”

I'm hoping to be a stand up

vocaroo.com/i/s09x1dMuL6PC

>vocaroo.com/i/s1rVpuv3ZZjz
hahahahahaahah

vocaroo.com/i/s169e35qdqpE

I hope you make it far!

vocaroo.com/i/s0hIGtwsv41o

vocaroo.com/i/s0wULNs6v02l

My. Fucking. Dude.

Would you mind if I used that as a sample for a YouTube video?

NANI?!

"Welcome to the chimp store!" the man in the circus style red coat had told me. I said thank you and continued into the chimp store. I walked around until I found the perfect object, A nice round Panamanian White-faced Capuchin. This chimp was not ordinary it was completely round with its head in the center. I had checked the price and noticed it was only 36 ChimpBucks, a crypto currency that the chimp store accepted. Luckily I had been mining ChimpBucks on my monkey based operating system. I had then grabbed the product of my desire and placed it firmly into my re-usable bag. The bag I had brought with me had a mandril presenting his middle finger, quite obscene. This is the same bag that I use when I enter the monkey market. I had seen another thing I just adored, a small gold monkey statue, in the same bag as the (soon to be my) precious animal I carefully placed the statue, as to not hurt the monkey residing within. I made my way to the register, "Hello sir that will be 39 chimp bucks" The gorilla said with there hands. "The QR code?" I asked the gorilla, "My apologies sir, here you go" The large creature showed me the QR code and I had scanned it with my Iphone, encased in a monkey phone protecter. sending 39 chimp bucks to the store immediately. "Thank you come again!" it signed to me, "Of course" I said back. When I got back to my living space I had taken the items out of the bag, "PERFECT, Nothing is broken!" I inspected the small creature and put him into his habitat, a room I made to house the simians I purchase. I sit back after a long day to write on monkey enthusiast image boards.

Yea Forumsoiii thank you man! You just creeped the fuck out of my friend when I sent it to him on my Instagram( I dont use it so I don’t have many people, which makes it creeper)

sure. email the link to hitch trailers@gmail

vocaroo.com/i/s1q5cIoK6zWi

vocaroo.com/i/s0rBk3a98O9z

vocaroo.com/i/s1hSllA4fw4e

Thank you, holy shit!!!

vocaroo.com/i/s1J7pv0fIpRy

What'd you get the mic for? Musician? Voice actor?

what about "Deleting my stuff would be the biggest mistake you've made since existing, buddy"

vocaroo.com/i/s1G5ql7o7z0Q

vocaroo.com/i/s08Lhg44HtCW

Hello!

h-hi there?

What are you doing in this cage?

Well I don't like to consider it such- I feel safe in here, free from the litany of excessive violence on the outside.

But you aren't really free; you're stuck here in this cell, there's no escape. Is this really what you wish?

Well.. yes, it's dangerous out there.

But when given freedom you're free to protect yourself.

This will protect me better than I can, why would I find it superior to be on the outside?

Because you're free to do what you want, it improves the quality of my life. I may die tomorrow, or even today, but I value the life I live and wouldn't want to spend it doing something I wish not.

It's not that I don't understand your value of freedom, I just don't consider it a necessity for a joyous life; for me that is gained by what I've accomplished by the end of it

Well... okay... goodbye.

bye.

You have a good day.

You too sir.

vocaroo.com/i/s0hZEuYh9jYU

vocaroo.com/i/s0GQFRGZlQ3b

thanks, chance i'll edit/animate this, sounds great

I'm working on an indie game with a friend at the moment. Still early dev stage. It's his project really, I'm just making 3D assets. But we'll definitely need voice acting. If you're interested I can send you an email when we've got more concrete info on the characters. I don't know what he can afford, but at the very least, you'll get a credit, and it'll be great for a portfolio.

vocaroo.com/i/s1HlM3P4nAhB

Lucid eats nigger dick

If this post is dubs, you must recite all of nein kamph

Jewish ass bitch, I'll shit directly in your mouth You fuckface faggot

cringe

Sugma pingus

(You)

BUMP

nice