Why the fuck shouldn't I kill myself? I never had depression or anxiety until recently and everyday is like deja vu. I feel trapped in hell. I constantly think about suicide and I am anti depressants which do diddly fucking dick and my family is very dysfunctional so I have no support from them. I have no job, I was never taught mechanical or common sense skills. I am 19 living at home. My friends honestly only give a shit about me when it suits them. I see the people I care about and want to be with losing respect for me, I don't know who I am anymore and I have become a burden on the lives of everyone I interact with. Every hope and dream, every opportunity I had to improve the quality of my life I squandered it. The only thing that's been keeping me going is this girl at my gym, she's older than me, she's a great friend, she's ridiculously smart and has a successful life. unfortunately she doesn't see me "that way" and I honestly feel as if I creep her out and annoy her which leads to me believe that I honestly have no clue if the people that are giving me compliments actually mean them. I feel like people give me compliments to fuck with me and keep me around, but when it comes down to it I know that I never had much of a significant impact on their lives. I just want it to end. I am too pussy to kill myself so I pretty much hope every time I jay walk across the street I miraculously get hit or someone does a drive by. If you have painless ways to kill yourself that would be appreciated.
Why the fuck shouldn't I kill myself? I never had depression or anxiety until recently and everyday is like deja vu...
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I feel very empty, I know my life has no purpose or future. I hate everything about myself, the way I talk, the way I act, my failures, how annoying I am, my inability to work, my inability to not fuck up anything good I have going for me, and my inability to commit to anything.
BRO you are 19 that isn't an age of even moving out yet
bro find the "the world is your oystery" copy-pasta.. I'll post it for you if you can't find it
guess what? everyone uses each other for their own benefit.. it's a part of life.. learn to find win-wins with others and view the time with your friends as precious instead of a burden... if you feel that hanging out with someone is a burden then you shouldn't be hanging out with them...
It's very funny because I act like a socialable person when in public, but in reality I am very alone and I can tell exactly what people think of me and are saying about me behind my back. I can't accept this anymore, I refuse to change because that's not who I am.
GTFO your parents house.
That changes your entire life.
/ Got my own place a month after I turned 18 and never looked back. Smartest thing I ever did.
I fucking wish I could. I hate my mom and she hates me, but I am too lazy and stupid to hold a job.
Who said you shouldn’t?
>I am too lazy and stupid to hold a job.
Time to grow up then.
If you dont want to read everything, thats fine, I just want you to know that there are people like me with the same problem.
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Not gonna lie, I relate in a way. I hold myself to rather high standards and even if the slightest thing doesn't go to my plan, I feel as if my whole world is ending.
Example: Im 18, recently graduated high school, tried enlisting, got denied for some stupid shit that wasnt even my fault. I had spend the past 3 years getting ready for the military and now that I'm graduated, I have no where to go. I can go to community college, but I have no money, I havent applied for scholarships because I was planning on enlistment, and my grades arent exactly amazing.
I have this constant nagging in the back of my head that says I have failed myself and I shouldn't be alive. I really hate those people who don't contribute anything to society and just eat up our hard worked tax dollars, so now that I am not contributing to society I feel useless.
I don't have a girlfriend, and my current prospecting attempts to get one arent being very effective. I have a job but my boss is keeping me from promotion and it would be next to impossible to get hired anywhere else.
I don't want to kill myself, and I dont have suicidal thoughts, but if I were to get shot tomorrow, I would be perfectly happy with dying.
Im honestly worried for the near future and my mental state. I am going on a trip with my ex gf but theres a big problem. When we broke up I went through a huge mental breakdown, because in my mind I basically lost my future wife. I have since repaired my relationship with her to friendship status but this trip could be a make or break. I still love her to death and I want to date her again, but I get this vibe that she doesnt have any love feelings for me. This is all that has been on my mind for the past month and its driving me insane.
TL;DR - My life plan fell through and Im not suicidal but I would be happy to die
This! I do get suicidal thoughts and yesterday I had some, but I understand I am too pussy to do it. Your situation is actually similar to mine in the sense that I went to join the military, I went to boot camp and I quit. I quit the Marine Corps. My life plan feel through. My pride is gone. We're in the same boat in the sense that if I were to be shot soon I would be perfectly fine with it.
Look, I’m going to tell you two something my father told me when I got out of high school around 20 years ago. Don’t be a fucking bitch and get your life together. Got shit grades in high school? Well you were being a loser, go to night school and re take courses you didn’t get great marks in. Go to a fucking trade school and learn applicable skills so you’re not a monstrous waste of tax money and you actually contribute something useful to society. Girls will come along, but you have to focus on yourself and work hard, that shit makes them wet themselves.
Living at home at 19 is nothing. I lived with my parents until I was 33. Sure, it sucked, but you'll get out of that situation eventually.
I am actually planning on calling a school to get into trade school tomorrow or this week, but if this doesn't work I will end it. Don't get me wrong, I am a guy and I still think about sex and such, but I am too depressed and in my own head to think about girlfriends right now.
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Because life can always improve
My guy, this is your monkey brain talking. View your situation from your observing brain, without biases you’ve picked up throughout life. Do you know how many people would kill to be 19 again?! You have so much time to figure it out. Just keep going, and try to work toward improving yourself. No zero days from here on out and by your mid twenties you will be killing it
Same guy here. You sound like you could be a cool guy if you weren’t being a little cuck. Get your act together, call that trade school. If you don’t get in, it happens, there are other ways to make money. If you give up you’re an even bigger bitch
Life is meaningless. Nothing we do here will ever matter.
Ok dad
*Cringe*
Wtf is monkey brain?
I guess you're right.
Be an hero.