HELP

HELP

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biology major here with some knowledge of the human body:

Go to a fucking hospital right fucking now. It might already be damaged but if you go now it at least doesn't need to be amputated. Call an ambulance if you can't get to an ER quickly on your own.

I can't explain it to them though. I think I'm better off just waiting for the erecto to die down

Robot-Penis-Cop

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you will loose your dick

Elaborating a bit on the kind of damage this may cause: As oxygen gets cut off in the glans the nerve cells may die causing a permanent loss of sensation. Additionally, the Corpus cavernosum (the hollow in the dick that fills up with blood to give you an erection) may get severely damaged by something like this making future erections oddly lopsided or shaped, or perhaps even entirely impossible.

IT will not as the blood cannot escape. JUST GO TO THEM, they've seen shit like you before.

I think you mean Robocock

Nop, the blood be strong in the head and never can down the erect.

I recomend pinch a bit with a spine o something to free the blood

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fucking retarded you go to them, you show it to them. They WILL help you. Put your fucking shame behind you or have them chop it off. Your choice. You'll have to pee sitting down always. Not getting it removed will cause the blood to just coagulate inside the penis as it cannot flow back, and then cause tissue death that necessitates amputation because otherwise it can spread elsewhere, killing you.

Drain his dick with needles
Cut the metal off with a small circular saw

One of these and the polar opposite of Michael J. Fox.

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Tell them you slipped and fell on it

How to lose faith in humanity

Yea Forums

fake thread - do a pic search

Holy fucking shit dude how did this happen to you? You've gotten into some deep shit now lad

I get no results

>the ONE non-newfag in the thread
God, I've lost such faith in this site

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timestamp or gtfo

WD40

Clinch your thigh tight for 30 second. This will stop your boner then pull it off.

/Thread

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My fucking god..

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Checked

LOST

also, nice shoop

Looks like op is becoming a girl today whether he likes it or not.

[One million keks]

Haha I highly doubt that

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all these newfags holy fuck

Is that a guitar slide?

Lmao!
No, you’re fucked. Hope you do have perma damage from this and live with it for the rest of your life, OP, you stupid fuck lol

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He put it in soft. Then got hard. Not sure who's more retarded, you or OP.

>Googol
Unironically kill yourselves.

sry for not using yahoo or bing

You're a genius!!1!1! You're as smart as that jew Stephen Einstein or whatever his name was.

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>yahoo
>bing
Come again?

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How ?????why?????

what do you want from me?

A pic of your dic

Good to have Yea Forums back to its old self for at least one thread. Good luck with your fucked up dick, OP

how the fuck did you even get your dick stuck there

uhh yeah wait

here

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Ok. Bonus for cumshot.

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to lazy sry

>Very precise cutting of the metal, likely calling in the fire department
It's actually the opposit, fire department is only called when we need to cut heavy pieces of metal, they don't have precision tools, only big grinders made to cut vehicles or big metal pipes

That wouldnt work as that disc is not for cutting, you fucking nerd

Tube + penis =longer?

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go away duckduckgo cuck

Do you want a pic of my feet then? I'm a guy but my feet aren't ugly and they have a nice shape. They're not too long either & they're soft. If you're a footguy that is.

ok first of all, i call fake. Reasons
1: we have not seen the underside of that "tube"
2: there's no way a flaccid dick could go that far down a tube. a bolt maybe (insert chinesedickbolt.jpg)
3: even if OP shows the under side, there will always be one side that is away from the camera angle.

If you want us to believe you, send video of said dick in tube in all directions.

until them, fuck off.

ughh send me a pic of ur chest

So... none of you retards can do a fucking reverse image search?
ok you two are not that dumb but quit using google

No lol. I only have a pic of my feet.

Help

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Assuming this is actually op,
Why would you do this?
Also if you don't go to the hospital you will lose your penis.

WITNESSED!!!

kek

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ok send

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No worries, same thing happened to me a few years ago and everything turned out fine.

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A nice soleshot.

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>Holy fucking shit dude how did this happen to you?
I was trying to fuck a metal tube. Isn't it obvious?

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Witnessed...
MFW.

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Would you give me a footjob and afterwards I'd cum on them?

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cut it with a knife and drain the blood with a syringe

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Fuck you for making me laugh this hard.

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OP why the fuck would you stick your dick in a goddamn metal pipe you fucking retard? You deserve to loose your dick.

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Yes. I'd lick the cum off after.

cute

shit dude, I can't even get mine in a toilet paper roll. How did you manage to fit into that little pipe?

>replying to a pasta

just off yourself

what a.... really ? you fuck man !

I did this a couple of years ago. Not quite that bad, but I had two rings stuck on me for a couple of weeks.
If you go to the hospital to get this removed, you're looking at a bill for $25,000.
Twenty-five thousand dollars.

If I'd known they were going to charge me anywhere near that much I'd have gone and bought a dremel and cut them off myself.

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>you're looking at a bill for $25,000.
That sounds like bullshit. Where do you live?

South Carolina.
And I would have to agree that it is bullshit, but that's what they billed me. Since I'm paying out-of-pocket and not through insurance there's a 40% discount which brings it down to $15,000 of which I still owe almost $10,000.

Ice cold water?

I tried the Dremel myself and it didn't work out so well

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why do you faggots do this to yourselves? why not just buy an aids infested hooker and stick in her? at least you are only looking at a chance of fucking up and not a guarantee

get a dremel and be very carefull?

witnessed

A cock ring is for keeping your dick from going soft after you cum so you can have multiple orgasms. Aids infested hookers don't have that effect. I don't know what OP was thinking, though. I'd worn one for several days on multiple occasions before and could still get them off. But one day for reasons I cannot fathom I put three on which led to swelling that wouldn't go down. I eventually got one off but had to have the other two cut. Needless to say, I haven't worn one since.

can't you use one of those shower rings instead?

>I haven't worn one since.
That's your own dumb fault. Cock rings are great provided you use them correctly. I wear one every time I have sex.

>That's your own dumb fault
Yes, it is.
I still think the hospital fucked me over by refusing to let me know how much they were going to charge, but the bottom line is
>I did something stupid
>then I panicked

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There is some surprisingly impressive discussion happening here!

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blood is trapped, as its oxygen is used up the tissue will swell, making the issue worse.

Either cut it off yourself, drain the erection with a needle and get it off, call an ambulance or say goodbye to your penor

LOL you're fucked!!! But hey have some honks.

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Checked

so thats how you get your gf blacked

play some vidya dat will get your mind of of things

Hahahahaha no I'm not helping you hahaha you moron

you need to make your dick shrink a lot, i suggest you sit in a bath of ice water and try to get that puppy to shrink down real tiny, if not you better get to the emergency room at your local hospital because they might have to cut your dick off to remove that and then sew it back on

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WHY IS THIS GIVING YOU AN ERECTION?

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How have y'all fucks never seen this picture before?

how is that medically possible?

I see what you are trying to do there

What part this idea who had to do this seemed like a good idea

R.I.P dick

dumb dick

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this

im not a doctor or medical professional but your dick could theoretically fall off if lack of blood

Apparently you're not a linguist either.