This is 911, please state your location and your emergency

my girlfriend wont wash the fucking dishes.
im tired of cleaning up after her lazy ass.
she trying to get around it by buying paper fucking plates and cups, plastic flatware.
arrest this disgrace!!!11!!!

Attached: lTcSPqy.png (440x280, 302K)

Fuck off MIG peasant

I'm on Yea Forums, there's some underagers who need to sleep and go to school to learn something.

Filthy MIG slave.

TIG MASTER RACE

Halp dick stuck in watermelon

Funny AF. lol. good one.

i'm 28 years old and i've never so much as hugged a girl. i've lost my sanity and i've been depressed the majority of my life. i do not wish to live really, but can't bring myself to suicide. i'm the scum of the earth who has no value to anyone and i want to die.

Location is my bed on 123 fake street and my emergency is cleaning up this wet bitch because i just murdered that pussy.

Yeah it's Jeff again.. got my dick stuck in the waffle iron... again.. the front door isn't locked.

Yes, 911. My co-worker it this 50 year old autistic cunt that no one likes. She accidentally fell down the stairs several times.

If existentialism or absurdism have any merit or value whatsoever, then you are not unique in your regard. Life is inherently meaningless, and trying to attach meaning to it is unfortunately part of the human condition. Albert Camus' take on it has always been, 'Does a lion need a reason to roar?' The answer is of course not. If it feels like roaring, it simply does so. A lion however also cannot ever hope to walk on two legs and further the aims of physics, or decide that it's vegan. It does what it can with what it has. Every human being is like the lion in this regard, and that is the one thing we all have in common; we're all just doing what we can with we have. There's nothing wrong with feeling as if we're merely relegating ourselves to our fates because the standards that we hold were all self-imposed anyway. In that way, you are doing exactly what you want, living what you have in your life on your terms. There's legitimately nothing wrong with that.

sexual emergency, my house

Attached: manb.jpg (474x632, 33K)

Yeah hi, there are no little girls blowing me. Please send help from the nearest elementary school.

Attached: Pedobear_(1).jpg (400x648, 29K)

Attached: 2295530562.jpg (2450x1344, 199K)

my peepee is too small

Let me talk to a real dispatcher Janet, the coffee machine is behind you, Mr Cummings is waiting

I am sitting on the toilet.

Spankings and other punishments

Talk to online roasties
They need male attention like sunlight

May I please speak to a man

I got meatballs and potatoes ready but I'M OUT OF LINGON BERRY JAM!!

101 Deans Ave, Riccarton, Christchurch 8011, New Zealand
There's a crazy Aussie shooting up the place
help mee help meeee

Attached: help mee.png (553x343, 201K)

Attached: 1328353469.jpg (1866x1620, 192K)

Thank you very mush for your call sir
They're on their way

Attached: screenshot-5-28-19.png (1004x708, 138K)

hello 911 I think the tower im in just got hit by a plane its 911

>its 911
you kinda ruined the joke
having to explain that it's 911 just ruins the whole thing
every single person on this site would have understood what you were getting at

my depression has reached critical levels, I let down everything important in my life eventhough I have strict deadlines and people that depend on me but I just can't get going for the life of me
pls send help, it's not even a joke