What's up Yea Forumstards. What's your favorite corn story? I'll start first.
>Be me
>Like, 19 years old
>I go to a restaurant and order corn.
>After waiting an acceptable amount of time recieve my corn
>I consume my corn
Anyone else got something they wanna share? Try to keep it realistic. I know when you're lying, I've been dealing with corn for YEARS.
>be OP
>be huge faggot
>shove a big ol corn cob up my ass
>be old
>had corn once
>corn gud
Haha, maybe I'll share that time when I make my corn after dark story thread later.
Mmmmmmm. Good story man. I just love corn so much.
>be me
>Corn MAN
>live on corn planet
>one day
>the beef nation attacked
>we had no defenses
>all corn men drafted to fight
>within days both the beef and the corn were devastated
>?
>then on the battle field
>one corn and one beef
>combined into corned beef
>Op is a loser
>they walked the dinosar
Street corn is the best thing Mexicans brought here.
OP Here, time for another Corn story.
>Last Fall
>Live in midwest, loads of corn
>About time to harvest
>go out and gaze and the maize
>such a beautiful sight
>i talk to the corn, tell it jokes
>play the corn old country music
>the corn offers me itself in return
>i harvest the beautiful crop and consume it for nutrition
>one eve during my slumber I awaken
>corn man in my door way
>he speaks in a tongue that is both familiar and confusing all at the same time
>i follow him
>he takes me into the fields of corn
>i am impaled by the yellow and golden goodness
>i consume literal pounds of corn
>the next morning I awaken to the sounds of birds
>i am in bed, did any of thay happen?
>i take my morning shit and as I stand up to flush
>there it is
>solid yellow bar of shit
>literally all corn
>i gather it and consume once more
Our omniscient corn gods will feed you forever if you let them.
Rain makes corn
Corn makes whiskey
Whiskey makes my baby
Get a little frisky
I ate an ear of corn and then microwaved the cob for about a minute and left it out on the kitchen counter overnight to dry. The next morning it was completely dry, but not overwhelmingly stiff, as I took it with me into the bathroom.
During wiping, I inserted the cob into my ass crack with my right hand and twirled the area around the tip several times slowly. It felt surprisingly soft; and when I extracted it, the entire lower third was a solid brown color. I carefully inserted it a second time, twirling it slowly once again -- this time, closer to the middle of the cob. There was still a small amount of fecal material remaining, but the first two passes had absorbed nearly all of it.
Overall, the cob was reasonably absorbent. As a checkup measure, I did a quick pass with toilet paper after I was finished. I found almost no shitstain to speak of.
>be me
>have corn at the beach
>someone kicks sand
>corn has sand now
>hide my anger and eat the sandy corn
That was a bad corn experience
>be me
>19
>having dinner with my family
>they made corn
>take corn out of boiling pot and let it drip dry over the sink for a few seconds
>cover corn in seasoning salt
>eat corn
that was a good corn experience
This makes me so mad dude. What kind of sick fuck would do that to corn
>be african american teen
>go to movies with my friends
>cant decide, they all trash so we just say fuck it and watch cars 2
>eating popped corn, as one does at a movie
>love it when the sharp kernels stab into my gums
>kid in my row pulls out a can, an opener, and a spoon
>distracting me from lightning mcqueen's witty one liners
>my friend notices and yells out "THIS NIGGA EATIN BEANS!"
>Mfw
When I was in 5th grade someone started a rumor a girl shoved a con of corn up her snatch. Everyone bullied her until she moved schools. Someone dumped a bowl of corn on her head and put it in her locker too. She was a bitch so she kinda deserved it
Beans are good for the heart
>be last week
>at buffet, waiting for corn on the cob to get restocked
>I’m in a prime spot as I’m 2nd in line waiting
>see girl coming with corn and audibly express my gratification
>suddenly people around grab tongs and spoons from the other foods (green beans, rolls, etc) and start taking all the corn before I get a chance to get any
>this was a bad corn experience
>i am impaled by the yellow and golden goodness
>i consume literal pounds of corn
Was there salted butter, if not they were savages.
They were oozing the stuff.
my mom refused to get the corn of the cob enders
End your mom
Excellent.
What's an ender? Don't you want entire ?
Corn
the things you shove in the end
Like eye of ender from minecraft??????
Penis also well buttered corn?
How u like you're corn? Pop or cob ?
this made me laugh harder than I should
then again, I've rarely frequent Yea Forums nowadays
Because it was about corn. (:
>Be waitron in restaurant
>Some 19 year old tard comes in and only orders corn
>After making him wait 45 minutes for being a corn loving asshole, i take him a corn
>he consumes my corn
>tape picture on wall "do not sell corn to this man"
no corn for you
Corn is a basic human right. Denying anyone corn for any reason is unconstitutional and I will be reporting your restaurant to the ACLU.
Good thing I stiffed you on the tip you entry level job having ass BITCH IDIOT hahaha OWNED
What sort of corn? Sweet corn with salted butter is an amurkin rite.
Niggers and grits.
You right nigga. Bless.
>be 16
>having old fashioned bbq with the family
>potato mash
>ribs
>salads
>corn
I like beans. They are like bigger, softer corn.
Why limit yourself?
Vote for trump!
>be me
>live in Indiana
>there is more than corn in Indiana
>there is more corn in Indiana
>there is corn in indiana
>all there fucking is here is corn
>"The have a Yea Forums"
Don't tell her I have a marblecake too
But everything in America is made of corn, even the people, especially the people.
>be 9
>mom makes dinner
>mashed potatoes, hamburger steak with gravy and corn on the cob
>finish dinner
>parents retreat to garage for a beer
>ohfuckitscorntime.jpg
>dance my way over to the stove and pull out half cob
>no butter
>no salt or pepper
>simply sweet sweet corn
>mom made way to much corn on accident
>eat cob after cob while pacing around the kitchen/living room
>corn goddamn everywhere
>finish off like 7 full cobs
>turn light off and clean up nothing
>next morning
>sitting on the toilet taking the lumpiest shit of my life while crying while being yelled at
I'm pretty sure it was at that point my parents started to suspect I wasn't quite right. But man I fuckin love corn.
Oh shit I didn't read the thread and told an actual corn story. I hate being from the midwest.
but at the end of the day... I bet it was a pretty good corn experience
You guys are all so awesome.
Your high again aren't you Jeremy?
It melts the butter on the corn.
Like corn
You could say we are all but children of the corn I suppose
Man is both made and undone by the corn; for the corn is all and all is corn
What if corn was friend? How would talk corn? Is corn smart? How we know?
I like corn, I wish I could eat 7 cobs.
And then put them up my butt.
I like to dry the corn and then fry it in oil until it exploded. Then I eat the exploded corn and laugh and cry.