Fuck my life has derailed

fuck my life has derailed

>girlfriend dumped me for being too negative and insistent to change on a dime
>best friend of 20+ years told me to go fuck myself

have hardly any friends left, just acquaintances. The only thing i have going for me is crypto and even that does nothing anymore. sure the gains are cool... but i'm too wary of the actuality of it coming back

but between wanting to off myself, finding a new job on the other side of the states and impulsively purchasing a plane ticket. i dunno what the fuck to do. i miss this girl so much but i fucked it up so badly that I doubt she's coming back(before you ask, I sent some mean/cruel texts after she broke up with me as I walking into work, regret the fuck out of it because those 10 minutes defined my entire self in her mind)

what the fuck should i do? i bought more crypto the other day to feel better but currently getting just'd there too. life was REALLY starting to look up until 3 weeks ago when all this exploded before me

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Perhaps you should figure out why nobody in your life wants anything to do with you. Do you drink and use drugs? You said you sent some pretty out of control texts.

Buy a one way ticket to Spain and become an English teacher.

TEFL saved my life.

Lol /r/TEFL much?

i smoke weed, don't really drink too often. but it's not like nobody wants to do anything with me. i mean it does feel that way most times but like today... i have an invite to go over to a cookout with some co-workers but haven't replied in 48hours now. i don't feel like they actually want me there or if they do, i worry i will bring everyone down because i'm so fucking depressed over losing this girl. so i figure its just best to not do anything about it all and just apologize next weekend when i see them.

the out of control text thing fucking kills me. i don't know where the fuck that came from. and it just fucking guts my soul. but my ex breaking up with me, which at the time felt like an ultimatum walking into work, I now recall some texts from her that said "i'll come over before or after i'm done hanging out with family" and i still sent those rage, mean, cruel texts. these thoughts make it truly un-fucking-bareable to know I'm me right now.

Yeah sounds like you're in a vortex and people. Don't want to be dragged down with you. Read Life Code by Dr Phil.

maybe i am.... how the fuck do i get out? can i even win this girl back? its been 3 weeks now, we've talked on the phone a few times, hasn't really gone well... sent her a text last night explaining how sorry i was and how badly i missed her and wanted to see her......still hasn't replied

You don't even worried about the girl until you get your mind right and your behavior on track. You have to fix you first. Man in the mirror.

Go read The Red Pill and realize that all of those things you want require you to work on yourself in order to get or maintain.

i hear you i just dunno the how the fuck to get what i want out of life. it's like i get it, then i immediately lose it. also dunno what the fuck i want. i have this vision of the man i need to become but then there's me, who I am right now and the leap between to and fro seems wickedly impossible. it also feels like i can get my mind right and my behavior on track in a heartbeat if she comes back

also, this girl and i dated for 6 months

KYS

Alan shut the fuck up. All you do is complain

Beta bitch

Life's rough sometimes buddy, I feel ya. I'm sure anyone who isn't a complete NEET has felt that way at some point. Take this failure and learn from it I guess, hit the gym, listen to some good music, but there's no quick fix my dude.

Sometimes after burning enough bridges to your past the only direction to move is forward. Make an effort to reconnect. Not a desperate midnight apology, but an in person, mature apology admitting fault, understanding her feelings, and above all being empathetic. Do your best to try to find even ground to discuss hurt feelings, but go in knowing that this talk may be meant to find closure and not forgiveness.

Yeah that's a big deal. You need to figure out what your values are, what your goals are, and you need to work toward your goals and let your goals drive your attitudes and behavior. If you can get your shit together in a heartbeat with her you can get your shit together in a heartbeat without her, and I think you know that's not true. It takes time and sustained effort to make meaningful change, user.

thanks user

sadly, she absolutely refuses to see me or just keeps saying "i don't know if i can see you," or "i dont know if im ready to see you"

good point... i'm really going to consider that. it's just... i don't know why but when I'm with someone, I feel like I can do absolutely anything. and when I'm alone, I struggle to do anything well. My best example is writing... when I have a girlfriend, I feel like I can write a novel; single, I rewrite the same sentence 100 times before giving up

She's your picture of Dorian Gray.

not too sure i know what you mean?

He was a successful rising star while the picture in his attic got older, it was the dump site for all his negativity, pessimism, hate, anger, greed, etc. Partners and friends can become that for us. Not saying that's you but it happens. They eventually realize that you're getting all the benefits from the relationship and they're taking care of all the emotional waste, and they want good stuff too.

>my life has been derailed over a break up and losing one friend

Jesus Christ you are fucking weak and pathetic. Get your shit together and stop being alittle bitch. No wonder people don’t want to be around you.

wow t-that... hits pretty fucking close to home

how do i not do this anymore? i dont even know if its worth it anymore... i have no friends or a girlfriend left. it took me years to attract her, the thought of another 3-7 years to do that just fucking wrecks me

the wombo-combo of it is pretty fucking brutal

No it’s not. Get over yourself. You aren’t special and neither is your situation. You sound like a child, future you will look back and laugh at how small these problems are compared to what life has in store for you.

Go on meetups dot com or some shit like that and find faggots that like doing the same shit u do. Success is predicated on cringe and failure

Commit an hero.

Okay I am probably going to give you the best advice for you in this situation (or the one you need the most).

Avoid your ex for 30 days. I know it sounds crazy and it's literally the last thing you want to do now but believe when I tell you it will make thinks easier. For 2 reasons:

1. You will stop being adicted to your ex gf. I have been there believe me. It hurt like hell but after 2 weeks I saw that I was doing my own thing without her and I was not dependant on her.
2. (In case you want to go back with her) Giving her this space with literally 0 contact will make her forget the last things that occured in your relationship. It's human nature. We tend to idealize everything. And if she loved you I 100% guarantee you that she wil defenitely think of you during this 30 days period. She will forget about your last messages that came from anger and she will think of user in his good times with her. Alo if you want to get her back, work on yourself. Go to a thrapist and start working out to gain confidence. Do things. Don't stay home. After these 30 days, you'll be a better version of yourself and when that happens you will be in the right mindset and position to message your ex again.

Advice? Send her a last message now telling her that you didn't mean anything and everything was coming out of your frustration. After that, wish her the best. Do it genuinely. You have to mean it. After that cut all kinds of contact with her for 30 days. If she messages you and it's not something VERY important, ignore her until the 30 days are done. When you both speak again after the month she will completely understand.

Hey man, I have been there, all my best wishes from Barcelona to wherever you're from man!

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