What are happy ending massages like? Do they just jerk you off super fast to make you cum?

What are happy ending massages like? Do they just jerk you off super fast to make you cum?

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They don't exist

Experiences can vary wildly. Literally had my first experience today where she tried so hard to end it quickly that she killed my erection; complete first for me.

I've had some times where she'll take her time, be seductive (because, hey, guys will pay out more with some foreplat coaxing), and be completelt pleasant.

Try to find tried and true places, not just some random neon sign you find on the street. The good places will have available reviews to back it up depending where you are.

Are they giving handjobs only or are blowjobs a possibility?

Most girls I've seen have prices for handy, blowjob, and the hanky panky. Pretty normal to negotiate with them, but, depending on the nationality, it can be difficult.

Chinese girls especially can be difficult. They often use their accent or lack of English skills as a bonus to their negotiating to either fuck you out of money or, even worse, fuck you out of the service you want.

I often don't negotiate much as I usually find the quality dwindles a bit much.

They dont jerk you super fast, usually it's just for a few minutes until you explode. One time I went to an AMP and the lady giving me a massage told me to wait and left the room. A very young looking girl came back and began giving me an handjob then the lady came back and started showing the girl how to give a good hj. I felt fucking weird after that, havent been to a AMP since.

>Doesn't know

It's a handy whore. Whores and service slaves typically work by the hour
.
If you're that curious ask your mother to take you to work one day.

They can go both ways. I really enjoy getting an amazing massage with a nice handjob at the end. For that type, you generally get older providers (i.e. 40+ year olds, although they are Asian, so look younger). You are looking at $60/hr for massage, $40 for handjob, usually no haggling. These women are real cocksmiths, really trying hard to make you cum.

The other types are really whorehouses, younger women wearing tight dresses offering everything. They lightly rub you two minutes, then onto action. These girls try and extract as much as possible, quoting $60 for hjs, $100-140 for sex or bj, usually in and out in under 30 minutes.

I vastly prefer the first type, even without the hj I got a great massage and maybe I tip $10-15. Don't feel ripped off in this situation.

Source: I have been going at least twice a month for the past decade. Gotten more hjs than I can count (easily over 100), probably 5 BJs, 10 full on fuck sessions.

Been to a few different places in different states. Most places try to jerk you off fast to end it. Been to only two places that didn't want to end it fast. And only one to continue the massage after jerking me off. I don't go for the bj cuz it's covered and I don't find that enjoyable

Are you sure, user? It would be good for me to know before wasting time and money.

did you ask her which middle school she attends?

haha...in all my years, I've never had the training exercise. Always someday I guess

I've had three types of experiences:

1) They seem disinterested and try to get it over with as soon as possible

2) They seem (or pretend to be) interested, but don't do much else than jerk you off

3) They dirty talk for you, press up against you, let you touch them anywhere, maybe even throw in a little foreplay like letting you massage them while they "discover" your erection.

Never tried it, but are tempted to.

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can you imagine if at the end of the massage she revealed that in fact she had been strategically relaxing and hypnotizing you and then she demonstrates it and you find to your abject horror that she's dead fucking serious and then the good looking manager walks in and all of a sudden ZAP COCK DRAIN OBEY

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god damn tiger woods has pumped dick

i live in LA, i know they are all around here and want to go to one, but im nervous and dont want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when the cops bust it or somthing

u wot m8?

Oldfag here. I'm 35 and have fucked 81 women since I lost my v-card. I've got game, etc. Go to bars, hit up Tinder, Bumble, POF, etc.

I've gone to a massage parlor in Vegas. It was some Asian parlor on like Industrial blvd or something. Anyway, if you grope the masseuse, she'll offer you a handy for twice the price. So a $60 massage turns to $120 with happy ending. I was able to talk to first masseuse who was younger and closer to my age down to $100. The 2nd one was older and I couldn't talk her down. She fucking made me look through my jacket for another $20 bill (which I hid there just in case she wouldn't do it).

I put my phone in the back pouch of my packpack that has a net on it and recorded both sessions. Pretty awesome.

But.... honestly, not worth the money if you don't make tons of money. I personally wouldn't save up money just to get a handjob from a masseuse. Fucking a hooker from Craigslist and Backpage for $200 was more economical in my opinion. I've fucked 2 of them. One was basically a perfect 10/10 and had only been doing it for a few months now because of her heroin addiction and needing to find a way to pay for it.

I fucking lol'd

100% LARP FAG

funny
u
n
n
y

No but she could've passed for a 13 or 14yo. Definitely had the body of one

hell yeah brother

Is that a quote from that boomer movie The Matrix?

I go every other week. It's nice to have.
I have two main parlors I go to, both of the Chinese variety.

The first place is very strict in its service offer: only handjobs, you can touch her but she won't let you penetrate her (read: fingering). But you'll get a VERY good massage. 40€/30min or 60€/60min

The second place is more relaxed, the massage part is shorter and generally you get 69 out of it. Occasionally I fuck her (depends on the masseuse). The massage is low tier. 90€/60min

Although prostitution is legal here in Germany, if you're running a brothel you need a loicence and the girls have to be self employed. That's obviously not the case with those massage salons so I usually stick to the mentioned two since not every place offers that service.

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How are your brothels there? I saw an add some years back that had Caprice there for the opening or some shit. She wasn't on the menu I'm sure, just promo.

Brothels is places like Nevada are shit tier, pathetic looking whores. But being in the EU I bet your girls are top notch, because even hot as fuck women are willing to whore because everyone is so poor and hungry everywhere.

What's some good advice on finding a place that offers that kind of service anyways

hehehe

faggot, use rubmaps. never walk into a place blind.

I will second rubmaps, although you dont need a premium account. Just sign up, use advanced search and try with handjob, breastplay, etc. Its usually pretty easy to spot which places offer hjs then. I am good enough now that I can figure out just by walking by a place if a handjob is on the menu, but that takes years of experience. I've gotten a hj in pretty much every city I've traveled to, which is kind of a lot

I live in the SE, but I travel for business and I've visited these places all over the country. Everywhere from CA and the SW mountain states, to TX and throughout the Midwest. They're all the same. First, you need to use a site like rubmaps. You can't walk into a place blind and expect to get lucky. Second, never ever admit it's your first visit. If they ask you if you've been here before, say yes. HJ are almost always $40-$50. Never pay more than that, no matter what they say. The service you get depends on your ability to read reviews and request the appropriate girl.

There's so much variety. I've only been to a classic brothel once when I turned 18 but every now and then I go to a type of brothel that is called sauna clubs or fkk clubs.

They are wellness clubs with saunas, pools, porn cinema and many other things you can use depending on location. You pay an entry fee (I've seen clubs from 30€ to 100€) and can use the wellness temple all day long. Included in the entry fee are food as much as you like (buffets or a la carte) and drinks (soft drinks, coffees, beer) but if you want hard alcohol you have to buy them extra.

All around the club are (depending on size and day) 10-80 prostitutes hanging around there, lounging and chatting with guests. They usually are naked or have very little, sexy clothing. Some girls come up to you, talk a bit, offering her services to you but most are open to chit chat while having a smoke too. The ugliest are usually more desperate and can be a bit annoying.

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If you've accepted to one, she will take you to one of multiple rooms and after sex she will follow you to your locker where your money's locked in so you can pay her. Usual rates thanks to free market are 50€/30min. You don't have to go to a room though, so sometimes you see people fucking next to you on a couch or something.

I also visited "apartment brothels", those are usually "Wanderhuren" (= literally "wandering whores") that stay there for 1-2 weeks and then another prostitute comes and rents the apartment. You can find where and who they are and how they look and what services they offer on specific sites that they can enlist to. Those are usually more expensive but highly variable as it depends on what you're doing with them. Regular sex usually is around 130€/60min. If you decided on one, you can call her and make an appointment.

Most prostitutes are from the east, balkan region, etc. But a lot of Germans available as well (mostly university students who want the good money).

Pic related is one of those saune clubs I frequent. The nice thing is its flair, as it's a former embassy.

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I wanna go. You just go to fuck or you swim and shit?

what was visiting these places be like as an American who only speaks English

You do as you want. They have a quick dick offer where you're paying a bit less but are only allowed to stay for 3 hours.

I normally go there for the whole day and have some sauna sessions, relax, eat, fuck, repeat.

Hope you're not sarcastic because I took it as a compliment. I'm German.

That said, you often see foreigners there and most if not all prostitutes speak english.

sorry i'm having three different conversation right now what i meant to ask was what would it be like vising these places as an American who only speaks English even though you said they all speak english will they treat you different because you're a foreigner

Damn. And we talking chubbies? Or slim and trim eastern bloc sluts like pic related?

Can't stand fatty, flabby, squishy whores. I mean your body is your job keep it in good shape. I have an office where clients visit and it looks fucking amazing.

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who here has experienced table showers?
those are a perfect segway into a happy ending

As I said, a lot of them are east europeans so I would not say under oath that Americans will be treated the same. BUT they are all very professional so you'd not have to worry. You're a costumer and they are the seller.

THOUGH I'd have to mention that you might think they're being rude to you because you're used to stupid smalltalk and fake happiness and all that you muricans do. But that would be the same in a German pub.

Copy Pasta
>you forgot the part where she said she's teaching her daughter

>Larping this hard

Where you live? AMP scene is a expensive shit show in Vegas. Best I found was $50 hj after massage otherwise they want 100+

There's something for everybody, usually a good selections of skinnies, normal "next door types", milfs, flabby ones...

Most are very good looking, see pic

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The first paragraph is like ads before a movie. Nobody cares

Dude I don't know what to tell you. It's legal here, it's really not different than going to the movies (although not as socially accepted as movies).

Cry harder Rodriguez.

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Oh man. Reading what the tv says in spanish almost sounds like "To jail for free"

Cool story
As if they'd let you take pictures of the inside lol
I've been to brothels before dude.

It's the menu for the day. You go to the guy at bar and tell him what you want and they bring the food to you. They have a buffet as well.

If you're in Germany, why is the menu in Spanish?

And it only costs 120 units of whatever strange currency you use over there?

Whats my all-in price for a day like you enjoy spending? (entry, food, cunt, drinks)

>Only girls visible
He's using the website pics ya bloody poof

Not OP, but you're a fucking retard mate. Those photos are clearly from their website. Notice how you don't see any of their faces... shit ain't candid you fucking mongoloid.

I never said I took the pictures retard. They're the pictures from their website.
parksauna-residenz.de
As I said there is much variety in the types of brothels here.

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bög jävel

>parksauna-residenz.de
place has chicken nuggies, I'm on my way

It's in German. "Gratis" means free and "a la carte" is a french term generally used in gastronomy meaning "from the menu".
The particular club I'm in costs 60€ entry fee for the whole day (including food and drinks) and the rate for the girls is 50€ per half an hour (some services cost extra of course, like anal, cumshot, whatever you and her have decided on)

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I can't find the city its in

That's dirt cheap for sex. Three times as much at least for US and a decent looking girl for 30mins

I speak French, I know what á la carte means.

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And I'm at work right now god dammit

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Dude. Sick burn

And that says "a la cartel" jsyk

>no two languages ever use the same words
>no places trying to be fancy ever use French words

Fucking hell you're dense.

Nevermind I found it, 'Lohmar', never heard of this city. No big deal, I'll ask my grandad, he visited Germany years ago and he'll probably know his way around still.

Prohibition always fucks with prices
Now try setting it to German. Pic related is from their website, you can see the same text there

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>Germanic languages
>Romantic languages
Yeah, you right

Weird

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It's between Cologne and Bonn (former capital and birthplace of Beethoven)

Does anyone know if they run stings outta these

Where do you find reviews?

When I try, it says it's dutch

It is dutch

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It's latin

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Spoiler, user: she absolutely was

It's
SEIZING THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION

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>Chicken Nuggets
Fuckin soy... even in EU.

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I dont care if you dont believe me user. They place actually closed down about a month after I left a review of it on R Maps.

I hope not, that's why I dont go to AMPs anymore.

My elderly mother works in a chiropractors office as a massage therapist. The amount of people that ask for a happy ending in a completely legitimate establishment that takes health insurance is staggering.

And I get it. I went to this shitty chiro clinic and was told, "get this free massage before your next visit." Got the message, ocean noises, smelly lotion, midlife woman with her shirt partially unbuttoned... I wondered what I was getting in to. I have a fucked back so I really didn't care about that shit and they weren't fixing it. I never went back.