Chuck Norris died over a year ago, but death is too terrified of Chuck Norris to collect

Chuck Norris died over a year ago, but death is too terrified of Chuck Norris to collect.

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He's not dead dumb ass

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds: Walk and kill.

A single punch from Chuck Norris is the primary method of execution in 12 states.

The universe was created when Chuck Norris slapped the singularity and told it to get a job.

Chuck Norris plays Russian Roulette with a semiautomatic and still wins.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list things Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris went skydiving and both his primary and back up failed to open. He walked into the offices of the parachute company and forced them to give him a refund the next day.

A few years ago, I was allowed to meet Chuck Norris and shake his hand.

The doctor didn't believe me and still thought I was hit by a bus.

When Chuck Norris met death, he called death a "promising rookie" and gave death a pat on the head.

Nobody died for a week as death recovered from the concussion.

Chuck Norris is very tough guy

If Chuck Norris wants someone's opinion, he roundhouse kicks it into them.

I made my wife take back the last batch of toilet paper we bought.. When she asked me what was wrong with it I told her it was too much like Chuck Norris:

Tougher than titanium nails, harder than drilling diamonds and won't take shit off of anyone.

Tornadoes don't exist. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Ghosts sit around campfires telling Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush. He just looks at the toilet and scares the shit out of it.

i remember 2004 as well

Nice guy.

Poor Chuck Norris, becoming a spokesman for a women's gun line.

When Chuck Norris jumps into the water, Chuck Norris doesnt get wet, but the water gets Chuck Norris

When the boogie man goes to bed he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris