OK Yea Forums i have a grand story to tell, this is a tard story. not of just any tard, The King of the lost chromosomes, Tardullu, the master of S'ped
>Be me
>Go to a fairly large high school with no tards
>Note: all tards went to another school near the next town over
>In morning block, shooting shit about D&D and WH40k and shit
>”ALL STUDENTS REPORT TO THE AUDITORIUM”
>Went to the auditorium and get the highest seats we could find to avoid the niggers who sit in front
>Principal announces some changes to our classes
>Wut?.png
> “We have some new students joining us from another school district”
>All of these, things, chambeling chromosomal horrors and defects of the mind linger forth from the stage
>Deargod.jpeg
>roughly 30 of them
> 10 roughly below 5’5 and extremely large. These will be known as the plague bearers.
>12 who were fairly skinny with autism and various other disorders of the mind, they shall be known as harpies
>11 were of the normal downy variety, but they were more primal than the others. These shall be known as The Beasts
>Now thats only 29 of the tards, what about the last one?
>He, Tardullu, only one of his kind.
>6’3, unbearable amounts of fat, Grease stained hoodie of the minecraft creeper and a noticeable beard.
>Unbearable stench and never bathed and he had 2 extra chromosomes
>They put on a show in the stage, dancing and waving to their “New buddies”
>They made their own song about being friends and shit
> Tardullu’s voice is a low downy grumble
>MFW we see these shamblers from another world
>MFW the smell reaked into the auditorium
>a plague bearer shat himself because of stage fright and was escorted to the baby changing changing station
I will type more if requested, give me time to type it
OK Yea Forums i have a grand story to tell, this is a tard story. not of just any tard...
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Kek. Moar
Part II
Tardullu’s first attack
>Be me
>currently in the gym
>Playing a type of soccer with the swivel boards (You know the ones)
>Having legit fun and a good time
>From across the gym Tardullu and 3 Plague bearers walk in atended by a greenhorn wrangeler
>Tardullu sees this magical game and bellows
> “KAn I jOiN”
>Greenhorn says no they are exercising today
>Tardullu generally pissed, his face scrunches up and his beard lifts up reveling his folds and neckbeard
> “BuUT I WaNT TO PLAYYYYYY” the eldritch replies
>Greenhorn tries to make him calm down and says it will be fun getting healthy and to lose a few pounds
>As soon as she says “Lose a few pounds” His anger was awoken
>He unleashes a headbut on the smaller frail women and gives her a kick in the ribs with an audible crack
>All froze where we sat and were in total shock
>He beacons forth his plague bearers with a screech low in toin but fearful nonetheless to unleash them
>They rip off their shirts and with their fat rolls bouncing unto the wind they charge
>Lawdhelpus.gif
>They were unstoppable, even when a titan of a coach stood against them
>Overwhelmed the titan and continued chasing us with their foul stench
>It is total fear and craized violence
>The plague bearers continued to go for stacies and fight the brads
>School officer was called to intervene and actually put handcuffs on a plague bearer
>Tardullu was legit throwing kids out of the way to fight brads
>Outnumbered and overwhelmed he surrendered
>Greenhorn hauled to an ambulance and never came back
bumb because interested
moar?
Moar soon annons be patient
ill be waiting
Part III
Tardullu and the harpies
>Tardullu used his harpies to spy on everyone and steal shit
>Main harpie is erratic spastic who constantly jitters in a zigzag motion while running
>One day im in math learning geometry and all that shit
>Hear the call of Tardullu
>Ohshit.nignog
>Harpies are following the main harpies zigzags while Tardullu is following walking behind them
>Harpies do a jump tackle and start clawing at normal fags
>panic breaks as soon as the call is heard
>Teacher immediately WTF at what is going on
>Harpie breaks into the classroom
>Teacher asks him to please leave
>Harpie is dazed and immediately dolphin dives onto his desk spazzing about
>Teacher tries to grab the spaz
>spaz takes off clothes for tactical advantage to escape from his grasp
>spaz notices us and dives for a 6/10 grill with large breasts
>Rips shirt and proceed to grasp the coveted orbs
>Grill fucking elbows him while he grabs her breasts
>audible smack as tards head smacks into the dest and grill covering her breasts
>Tard scrambles on all fours and does some dog run back into the hall when tard guards apprehend him
>most harpies are pantless being contained, roughly 4 and Tardullu himself
>Grill is absolutely scarred for life and is crying yelling to look away (OF i didnt bc free tittys)
>for the rest of the day school on high alert and grill was dismissed early
this greentext is making history
bumpity bump
Post moar nao
I am on that right now, It will be long tho
Please do go on you have my full attention
we are witnessing something great gentlemen
God I love yard stories, I’m sad my HS wasn’t integrated like yours, we also shipped off our to a tard school
Op don't abandon us the show must go on
Writing now, dont abandon
keep bumping so thread doesn’t die
Bumppity bump
bump bump
Don’t you die on me
Bump
Part IV
At the gates of S’ped
>In order to familiarize tards (and lack of wranglers) normal students enticed to work in the unholy land known as S’ped with grade raises and overall alternative to punishment
>I was late to many times to school so i was given a detention or to work in S’ped
>I chose the latter
>during first block i was sent to the gates of S’ped
>My god, the fear i felt as i walked into that room
>my task was to work with a Primal to show him how to use an iPad
>showing the apps and angry birds and shit
>all fine till Tardullu walks in
>he sits down with a few of the harpies and plague bearers
>Primals are more social, but once angered they can be an issue
>Harpies pointing at me and Primal with the iPad
>Tardullu rubs his beard, using his blessed 2 chromosomes to put his brain to use
>he orders a harpie to go over and introduce himself
>Say “sorry, im working with someone right now”
>Harpie walks back and tells Tardullu, he is not pleased
>Harpie walks back and takes iPad from Primal
>I try to calm down the primal and say chill out i can get the ipad back
>Harpie walks to the table where He is sitting
>Tardullu makes eye contact with me and beacons me forth
>I oblige and see to him
>Hey, Why did you take his iPad, could i get it back”
> “N0, My Ipeed, Get Nother ONe”
>converse with him saying he brought if from home, there are no more
>Visibly angry Tardullu
> “Loked, Open”
>Wut?
>OPEN
> “I cant ope-
>Tardullu gets up and hits my face with the thin side of the ipad with indescribable force
>He lets out his call and harpies hold me down and Tardullu comes forth, towering over me
>Plague knight occupying wranglers
>He pulls off his pants and rips off his undergarments
>Bleading, vision hazy i accept my end
>The primal who i was helping charges into Tardullu at the speed of Lovecraft's liver failing
Part IV pt 2
>“GUT AWAY”
>Tardullu falls and the ground shakes, The harpies fall onto the poor lad.
>GTFO as fast as fuck still bleeding
>Feel like im in the walking dead escaping the whord
> I hear screeching and sounds of horror
>I throw up and pass out in the hallway
>Wake up in nurses office with principal and staff surrounding me
>Primal vogues for me and tells them that Tardullu attacked me
>sadly Primal was sent back into his own realm due to being a target of Tardullu
>They give me a full 2 days off as a settlement
Give me more time writing, mist piss
Damn bro you got close to a tard rape.
Enjoying the story op
omg. gonna suck ur dick because of this
Pretty sure he would of shat or pissed on to assert dominance
>would of
I think he already has dominance over you regardless of piss or shit.
True the one true tard Lord to rule them all
Hi youtube
Tardullu dominates the whole fucking school ...
OP, what's the story on Tardullu's parents?
Writing now, 50% done
if this thread dies the world will end
how the fuck is Tardullu allowed near any other human being?
Only rumors of his parents
Parents are trailer trash that raised him to be tough, parents hauled away for a holing up a gas station
He went with his grandma where he was raised and spoiled by her, she let him run rampant in the neighborhood that they were in one of my old mates said
You heard the boss boys keep the thread alive
MORE MORE MORE MORE
Awesome. Love his parents. Does the school system give him a free lawyer to help him continue doing this shit, too?
This is fucking gold. Please tell me someone is going to save this one from the abyss of time.
Not OP but I can almost guarantee that they're some rich liberal assholes who think that anyone who says their child isn't perfect and special and "normal" is just a bigot. Poor people just dump their tards in institutions and don't inflict them on everyone else. But they have far fewer tards because they don't wait until their mid-forties to have their 1st kid.
Thanks, but OP got back to me already with kind of the opposite. Trailer trash and bank robbers!
I'm capping it. some of the best bits of "supplemental" too.
Stayin' Alive
Stayin' Alive
Ha
Ah
Ah
Ah
>STAYIN' ALIIIIIIIIIIVE
Part V
Shadow over prom
>Tardullu was going to be a guest at prom
>I was there too just to assist the DJ and help with preparing food
>We have a nice dinner before the dance of steak and asparagus
>Tardullu in a T-shirt tuxedo and a suit coat clearly a few sizes small
>In the kitchen preparing food when a wrangler comes in
> “Uh hi do you have mac and cheese”
>Think to myself “What the fuck, this is prom”
>Through the kitchen window over the lunchroom i see Tardullu with the other Eldric Gods
>They all clearly upset and sorrowed
>Wrangler comes back in
> “They WANT mac and cheese, can you go into the freezer and unthaw something”
> “no, we can't go in there th-
> “Well IM SAYING IT, SO do it”
>Actual cafeteria chef says that it can't be done, we would have to know before
>She knew her fate, i saw it on her face, she saw my wound and i saw her eyes
>She went back out to the Eldrics and said that there was no Mac and Chesse
>Tardullu eyes up wranger,
>For all that talk about her being dominate, id doesn't help when you are wacked with a steel foldable chair like Hulk Hogan
>Tardullu Lets loose his call
>All 30 of them arise from surrounding tables and perform the call with him
>They go into the deapest fit of madness
>Head chef instantly WTFing hard
>HIDE THE KNIFES he barks
>We take our knifes and throw them into the freezer to keep them out of the hands of the horrors
>I see Tardullu
>He is in brutal combat with chads and brads, his swing speed low but his strength max
>Multiple brads gang up on him
>He retreats to the snack table right by our kitchen
>Takes the glass punch bowl and after taking a swig throws it at brads
>Me and Chefs agree not to even go out into the madness
>4 cops flood the dance hall trying to subdue the Lovecraftian horrors
>Tardullu lets out a morale boosting screech while normies are hiding
> “Im getting the fuck out of here” i said to the chefs
>They all follow suit and we dash out the back door
Doubt this is true. Trailer trash wouldn't put up with this shit. They would have tricked him off the side of a cliff or into traffic long ago.
They got checks from the goberment to keep him
Who cares if it's true or not? This is still entertaining!
OP please tell me there's more
You forget you get money for kids when your poor? Don’t look after him, and take in money.
Also the school description is off for poor area school and school wouldn't put up with tardd assault on girl unless tard family money beat girl's family money.
That I'll agree on. Like how OP is likening tard story to bad fantasy movie
I never saw the sperg again
Yo yo yo put me in the screenshots
Also bump for moar
laughing so hard my tears have tears...don't let this thread die
consider it done.
Good point, but I could see how they would have to keep the tard in the school even if the family isn't rich. The central bureaucracy decrees it and there is nowhere else to go.
Thank you kind screenshot user
More pleeeeease
If tardullu is not in prison rn this shit is fake.
although... who cares?
Continue please?
not gonna let this fucking post die
I'll make a thread when this one dies later to dump all the screencaps.
Woo hoo!
Part VI
Tardullu and the fish
This happened before prom but is still a fun story
>We went to an aquarium for marine biology stuff
>Tardullu is dragged along because he wants to go
>Staff reluctantly agree
>We are on the bus ride over and when we get to the city he says and i shit you not
> “WoW, TaLl TrAilErs”
>My shekels are kekeld
>We are being lead by tour guide
>He is jabbering on about whales and shit
>we eventually hear “YOUR HURTING THEM YOUR HURTING THEM STOP”
>Teachers and students WTF immediately
>Tour guide rushes over to the touch tanks
>Tardullu is ankle deep in the tank grabbing the various sea life and either crushing them or consuming them
>>Five year old is crying and smaller children are running away with their parrents screaming at him
>Tard guard was trying to get him to stop till he punched him and knocked the wind out of him so he was on the ground gasping for air
>Security was called and he overpowered 1 of the guards but the both took his arms and escorted him into the school bus
>and that is why we never went on any field trips for the rest of my high school career
Moar this is the most entertaining story I've seen on Yea Forums in a while
BUMP
Jesus Christ I'm dying rn your saying he was literally consuming live fish
HOW THE FUCK WAS HE NOT PUT INTO JAIL
If you want OP i’d be more than willing to narrate this for you. I’d even drop links to the narration for other anons to enjoy.
I am writing now, this will be on how He, The One Who Spergs left back to his home dimension
this will be
Awaking of Azathoth
Wonderful.
So OP, what are the teachers and staff doing about this kid? Are all the local parents trying to get him booted? I'm sure the local Dads want him in a fucking cage and not in the school hallways. Any PTA meetings with him on the agenda?
From what i gathered they used the good ole fashion "He has a disability" excuse and he was "Defending himself"
he was a hated figue to all but alas he had the Cloak of the Chromosomes to doge all shit coming at you
Say it with me Yea Forums:
Thread no dying
Thread no dying
THREAD NO DYING
bump
That thread is not dead which may eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even the dead may live.
Bump
Bump
Writing the final now, hang on brothers
oh no my house is on fire
vQECct
Please hurry I have children to feed
This thread shall not die
Part VII
Awaking of Azathoth
I recommend listening to this with Pruit Igoe and Prophecies
>as Tardullu racked up a lot of damage under his belt, he must have known that he would be expelled
>He decided to awaken a tard war
>He convinced 15 of the elders that the other 15 hated all of them and vice versa
>The 2 sides hated each other as they would steal each others shit and provoke one another
>the boiling hatred between both sides gathered
>Lunchroom tension would be so thick between the 2 sides
>the day before april break, it was like any normal school day
>In my 3rd period classroom, history
>intercom bellows “ALL STUDENTS REMAIN WEAR YOU ARE, DO NOT GO OUT INTO THE HALLWAYS”
>everyone WTFing until we hear screeches and brawling noises
>Oh gods
>naked tard runs past class with a brown stain on his rear
>We all go out to look and see this hell on earth
>people flock to the entrance from the lunchroom
>The horror
>feces stained the broken tables, an Ipad layed a few yards across our door
>clearly bodily fluids sprayed across the wall
>on a table there he stands, the king chromosome, Tardullu, throwing tards away and absolutely doing to town
>the horrors see us
>The Great One bellows and points at us
>27 tards come barreling forth into a small crowded hallway covered in feces
> a nightmare
>the fear
>The scramble
>Tard on normal
>Normal on normal
>tard on tard
>complete chaos
> I began swinging and puching anything fleshy
>i get punched and kicked
>eventually tards are on one side sieging us
>imagine the scene from 300 where they are all defending
>that was us
>Wranglers and staff come to break it up
>too late, Roughly 70 students in that part of the hallway and other skirmishes
>tards use plague bearers to break lines like cannon faughter
>I begin to retreat and try to make my way to my car
>Police in full riot gear trudge past me
>ohshit.nigger
>Get to my car, there's a paddywagon right outside the cafeteria
more soon brothers
Fuck your children
Someone needs to save this this saga must be preserved
Yes FBI this man right here
I, for one, blame the jews.
I fully expect this to end up on those greentext YouTube channels
Whoa whoa Chris Hansen I didn't mean literally fuck get your mind out of the gutter
Bimp
here hoping someone does it as well
too lazy to save this masterpiece
here hoping someone does it as well
too lazy to save this masterpiece.
I was considering doing my own voiceover for this thread for anons to listen to my reading of it. Though i don’t own a JewTube channel
This is history being made
I gotchu fam
see you on reddit faggots
>start up car and slip out of school
>school had to be closed for 3 days to clean
>we can only have 50 students in the hallways at any given time
>tards were banished back to their homeworld
>the gate of S’ped remained as if it were ready for more students, but remained empty with all tardshit still intact
As for Tardullu, i can not say with certainty where he went, hospital, back to R'lyeh, to the trailer park or where ever. He wasn't around anymore, no i don't know where he lives. I know only the things i have witnessed, the horrors, greater than Dale the tard, maybe even Neil the tard, i know only one thing, "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Tardullu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
I would NEVER stoop that low, but indirectly yeah probably.
Obligatory "put me in the Reddit screenshot."
When are we gonna get a decent greentext database that isn't r/greentexts or whatever it is
Is this master piece of literature over?
BitChute needs your love and is less likely jewed.
Idk I'm going to keep a local folder of it though.
That was a great story. Thanks user
indeed, indeed. i wish you well, there are more events, but.... i promise to return, look for an image of a tech preist meting god, i will return but for now i must slumber
well boys...it was fun but its time to beat my meat and go to sleep
I'll Start a new thread to dump the screencaps.
boys tell user thank you
Put me in the screencap
Screencap Dump thread:
>Tardullu is ankle deep in the tank grabbing the various sea life and either crushing them or consuming them
Jesus fucking christ. And they say Yea Forums is dead.
Archive this history mods please
>the Cloak of the Chromosomes
MY SIDES
We were here, we saw history made..
We are witness to the birth of a legendary greatness...
Bless you user, for you have given this old man hope... I, I believe I can fight on. Thank you.
PUT ME IN THE SCREENCAP REDDIT
This is beautiful. New religion anyone? We're worshipping Tardullu.
omg it's a ghost holy shit , they're real after all!!!!omg please h elp
discord gg/vQECct
too late fucker. also screw plebbit.
Was Anons school called The Esoteric Order of Dickwads or something like that?
This is why the fucking internet exists. History was made tonight.
For anons to get at least the first portion as a reading, enjoy this narration.
bitchute.com
holy shit, we salute you
Please narrate the whole thing. My sides can't handle any more but history needs it
If you wanted I could send you a folder of the screencaps.
I found this story stupid. Its obviously made up. Gullible Fagets. This is the problem with Yea Forums nowadays
Even if it was made up it was pretty entertaining
We all know this already.
Grew up in a residential neighborhood, thought a neighbor nearby had a goat. Used to hear these guttural, animalistic moans now and then. Thought it was a goat. For 15 years. Turns out it was this autist that would get walked by it’s parental units and moan and scream in the park.
Plot twist: the goat had autism