Why do I even bother? I've spent my entire childhood trying to be cool, only to let social anxiety fuck it up last minute every time. I picked up weed in high school to impress a girl that friendzoned me, I never cared about working hard ever, got dead end job after dead end job after high school, dabbled in psychadellics, journeyed down a self improvement pilgramage, now I'm a /pol/ cuck who always has to be right, and even when i calmly and all inclusively explain using big boy words my view on (hashtag of the day), i get virtue signaled by undergraduate fucks who keep patting themselves on the back while ignoring and laughing at everything I say because I'm a white male. Surely 19-22yo fat cuntry girl land whales know more than I do. Is knowledge real? Is this whole thing just to make idiots feel good about not learning anything? An I the fool for trying? Is anyone even out there? I'm lost Yea Forums. God is dead, government is a sick joke, should I have just said no all along? AMA I guess.
Why do I even bother? I've spent my entire childhood trying to be cool...
Tl;dr.
Woe is me.
Pretty much. First time poster with nobody else to talk to. Kinda just screaming into the void here. Stay a while if youd like.
It's not even a remarkable story. Just another brick in the wall who feels less and as as he realizes hes trying way to hard to fall even further behind.
I like the way you said "is knowledge real" while you ask questions to learn something. You're a moron.
Also, I get that you're some shill trying to push the narrative that /pol/ people are cucks/ alone virgins, but it won't work.
The best part is that you acknowledge you don't know anything and you get friend-zoned because you have no spine or you cringe the shit out of them because you've never had any male role models in your life.
You're better off trying to be more like Cool Hand Luke and keeping your mouth shut until you learn how to open your mouth. I literally trash women that I hang out with about how they shouldn't be allowed to vote and they love it. Got blown by every one of them and banged most of them. Stop giving a fuck about what people think of you and learn how to not be a cringy "pity me" ball bag. It isn't difficult.
I've been between jobs, spending my time alone, masturbating, studying, working out, rinse, repeat. I think I'm having sober hallucinations finally. When I close my eyes I swear there are people trying to talk to me. I've run out of money to numb myself so here comes the grueling weeks of withdrawal.
I'm pushing the narrative that I'm hella into politics now, but cant find anyone who cares enough for it to matter. Everything I apply myself towards for improvement meets a dead end. I've always been one to keep my shit to myself, kip up and keep trying, you'll find your niche one day! But it's getting harder to get out of bed. Every oppertunity is met with failure, then ridicule, then drugs, now this.
Garry?
I'm riding a low wave. Seratonin is depleted. Nutrition is worse than bad. Water and whole grains are keeping me going. One day soon I'll wake up and be Chad again. Tonight I'm gunna be this. That user. I'm fine with it.
What the hell does 'been between jobs' mean?
Go work at the dollar store and stop masturbating You wouldn't run out of money if you'd stop buying your alcohol and dope. You're hindering your possible gains and mood bonuses from working out if you just try to numb yourself.
You're a moron for getting to the point you would get withdraws. So you deserve to suffer. Write down on a notebook what the great life would be to you. Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually (not necessarily religious spirituality).
When you're done with that, take a look at yourself and ask if what you are doing is leading to that life.
The answer is no. Stop whining and start realizing that you're the only person you really have to deal with your entire life and your body is the engine that moves your mind through this plane.
These fucking 17 year old stoners and their bullshit problems.
Yeah that's easy to say. Good job man you really earned your moral wheaties today. I got a job a month ago I'm allegedly waiting for a background check to pass. I dont think they take this long but they've been reassuring me I have the job so I've been coasting on credit in the meantime. Last job was lost because 40+ best buy managers were molesting 19yo employees, on top of scheduling me 50+ hours despite being part time. I was losing myself to that little universe of creeps and retail torture.
Everything you're saying is shit I tell kids on the regular. I know what I need to do. I know it's all a phase. I know I dont exist and nothing matters and i should make the most of it while i can. I just cant do it sometimes. I mean you with you swearing and self righteous fury surely feels this way too. Even sober guys get sad man.
Yes these are superficial problems, yes I'm making a prison of my mind, yes I have an addiction problem, I know it runs in the family but when I talk about it it feels like an excuse. While also not. I'm gunna keep typing about it. It seems to help.
Days have quickly started to blur together. Weeks pass in what feels like overnight. Sometimes I have trouble distinguishing dreams from reality. All low level psychosis shit. Every time I'm offered any substance I just cant say no. Before i realize it I'm smoking a bowl, I'm buying booze, when I do nut up, leave the house, and socialize, I'm met with ridicule. Every time. I somehow make a fool of myself to the point to physical laughing at me.
>runs in the family
Then you are even more retarded because you know they run in the family. I'm not going to coddle to your emo phase that you're going through.
Practice what you preach or keep your mouth shut. Nothing like someone talking about how they love children and then once you find out they were molesting kids it makes it that much worse. "self righteous fury". Oh, did you want me to be like. "Aw man that is terrible, I feel so sad for you, just be happy, keep your chin up". Not going to happen.
Plus, everyone gets sad you moron. It isn't something that just specifically targets NEETs.
I hate wheaties. Who even says that shit? So you 'lost your job' by molesting 19 year old employees? Otherwise, what are you even talking about? 50+ hours isn't shit you douchebag. You have 168 hours in a week. If you didn't like it you could have gotten another job lined up and dealt with it instead of moping and bitching about how you can't afford some Schlitz from your local liquor store.
Sometimes I'll flashback to my girlfriend telling me things like
> you should really see a therapist, user!
> sometimes I come home and dont even recognize you!
But I frankly just cant care. She doesn't know the me I have to talk to all the time. I cant articulate my daily struggle to her. It always comes out as
>I'm fine... I'm fine! I'm FINE.
Only satan knows why she still suffers through this relationship.
Yeah. Unfortunately I'm still here.
I mean quite frankly I'm not even looking for advice at this point. I guess I was earlier. I mean you havent been any help at all, you're barely understanding what I'm saying just so you can type in some swears and insults faster I imagine. I've been a decent help though. But hey I usually am. God forbid i have a life outside of work though right? I'd kill myself working over 100 hours. My parents were way to soft on me but hey good luck to you man I'd hate to be you.
Oof I totally read your last one wrong my bad. Haha. Regardless. It's more that it was minimum wage, with no benefits, high expectations, and percy management. I left of my own accord after lining this job up but I couldn't save enough money to live my numb lifestyle.
I'm for sure aware of an eat your wheaties meme. Maybe from the 70s or something. I used to hang out with my granpapy who survived a war so I picked up alot of old saying nobody cares about. I take pride in it. It makes me feel like a slightly better nothing than the mindless kids I see droning about lately.
It seems everyone under 20 I talk to has aspirations of moving to L.A and becoming a streamer, frankly that's my fault for surrounding myself with those types of people. But it paints a bleaker picture when I talk to 30+yo's who are obese, smelly, and sad, who portray those very same aspirations. Why cant I be that dull?
You have a girlfriend that you treat like shit and she asks you to seek help because she gives a shit about you.
You're response is essentially "I'm tuff and I'm fine leave me alone"
Grow up. There are a lot of kissless virgins on here that would trade your bullshit in a minute. But yeah, keep making excuses.
I worked for a company that said I'd work 40 hours a week (20 an hour) and I was fine with that. Then, they said "do you mind working some overtime"... I was new so I said sure. Next thing you know I'm working 80-90 hours a week.
Guess what I did. I applied for another job and once they hired me I put my 2 weeks in and walked. It wasn't a tough decision. I didn't grow up with anything and I even had to work to pay for my school/band fees. You expect everything to be handed to you. I quit the job, because much like you, I didn't work to work my ass off.
You're using all of these things that you did to yourself that fucked you over as some pity party on how you shouldn't feel so bad. You should feel bad. Instead of dwelling be like "Yeah, I'm a moron that is abusing his girlfriend and I have treated my body/mind like shit, so how about I stop that".
You're not looking for advice, you're venting because you can't talk to your own girlfriend about it because you think it would freak her out and have her run off. That you think that if you just say you're fine to her will make things better.
It won't. It will make it worse. You should apologize to her for being such a pathetic sulking man (btw, sulking is the ultimate way to dry up a girls pussy). Tell her that ou want to be able to talk to her openly about what you're dealing with and that you're grateful for her. It will show that you're getting control over your own destiny instead of crying about how you can't shoot up some meth in your dickhole because you quit your job at Blockbuster.
Do you say Caterwauling, also? You learn real quick by saying 'memes' to strangers immediately puts a douchebag moron target on your forehead. Like those morons that would say "You wanna go eat!?" and they reply "McD's dot com.
You taking pride over saying things that don't jive with traditional jargon means that you're separating yourself. I'm not saying talk their bull garbage slang, but at least speak English.
I'm glad you know that at least by the time you are 30 you don't want to be obese, smelly and sad. That's a good start. Now you just gotta make sure you don't turn out like that.
I tattoo for a living, on my own watch, I'm in the service for about 14 years now (6 active, the rest guard), don't have any debt and I work when I want. It's grand. I was like you, didn't want to be a wage slave. You just have to figure out how to do it, but you need to clean yourself up first before you start wanting to make goals above your neck.
There you go that one was helpful. I dont see how I could attain that kind of motivation. Not even an excuse I'll sleep for 16 hours, be up for 3 then lose all hope and every again, even assuming I remember the previous day I always forget I'm trying to quit until I'm high again. I'll be right back here in a week.
Are you homeless and sitting in a Mcdonalds stealing their wifi? How are you able to live with that lifestyle?
I'm white.
Looking at it with a critical eye, I havent had any real issues other than mental. Loving family, girlfriend who cares way too much, always been that handsome charismatic white guy. Frankly I hate it. It feels like a lie but I cant wash this one off.
Ok then depressso.
Also no a cauterwaling. I'd love to know what It means so i can hit the old man with it.
Dont do drugs kids. It's a fad.
I used to drink a lot. Not to a degree that affected work, but it seemed to encompass everything. If I played a game I drank, if I hung out with my girlfriend I drank, if I went to a friends I drank. So how did I stop drinking? I got new hobbies that didn't have that associated with it. That and I did a lot of yard work. If I felt like a beer, I went and did yard work. If I wanted to drink later I would go for a run.
It sucks, yes. it's easy to just get that next fix, but over time I've realized that I wasted a considerable amount of money and time that I could have been doing something productive. AKA running and landscaping the yard.
That and if you relapse don't use that as an excuse you're fucked and just throw everything out the window. One day at a time. Don't be like most people that buy gym memberships.
Then you should probably consider that there are a lot of dead people that didn't get a chance to do anything and wish they weren't a corpse. Meanwhile you have a family, girlfriend that gives a shit and you aren't a trainwreck at walmart.
Cauterwalling is essentially to not whistle and wail like a moron Typically the signs were up in bars.
I dont know if I've ever even loved her. We were set up by the chick who friendzoned me. High school hormones thought if I slept with her I could sleep with my crush. Now shes threatened to harm/kill herself if she were to lose me. I dont know how to navigate mental illness in myself let alone others so I've always been to scared to leave but to scared to truly open up to her.
Not gonna lie but you're going to literally have your world burn down if you stay with her. I've had a friend in a similar situation. It was ugly and he almost went to jail.
Are you honestly like 18 or something? You are talking like you're a 45 year old man holding a liquor bottle in a rocking chair and you're covered in your own food drips.
Well thanks tattoo user. You were actually quite the impromptu therapist. I'll flush my junk tomorrow and see where it takes me. If you see another one of these in a week I have failed you.
26. I'll agree I'm not very mature.
Funnily enough It seems like I'm the most mature in my peer group. Probably all that posturing.
I'm here user. Red pill me on all the knowledge you have gathered over the past year.
Just today I got into an argument with my coworker. She's prochoice, I'm not. How do I kill her with facts that will hopefully change her mind.
You sound like you fuckin' suck lol
Go see a therapist, it's good for you, no shame
Don't flush your junk. Resell it to the next fool who wants to ruin their life. The bonus is if you get arrested you'll be forced to sober up. if you don't then you'll have some money to get into another small hobby.
People can exist where they have problems and they just put a different 'hat' on whenever they are in a different group of people. In bartending land we call it 'hats' because you have to change how you speak and respond based of the interactions with other people.
So you aren't being honest with yourself. You're putting on a show for whoever yo're with. That isn't mature. That's you pretending to be mature. You're actually the biggest fake in your peer group. You're only doing it because you think they would distance themselves from you. I get it, but that doesn't make you mature.
You'll probably fail. Most probably. Doesn't mean you stop trying. Slap yourself and drop the habit again. Eventually you'll either break the habit or be dead/in prison/ or even worse. Single, alone, addicted to drugs while you put on a fake smile for everyone that is there for you that you refuse to use as an example to not be such a sack of garbage.
Who knows, maybe a year from now you'll be clean, your girlfriend's mind has healed and you're making money without it sapping your love of life.
Who knows, eh
/thread
I'm actually a pretty nice fellow. Although, the girls had me censor myself one time because of a birthday party and a couple that was visiting had a son (that decided that he wants to be a girl at 7 years old and the parents support it).
They know I would have ragged on the father so much it would have turned into a brawl (he was a manlet fatty so it wouldn't have been a challenge), but I did that to keep the peace for a group event.
I know exactly what type of women you pick up and they're trash, haha. I can picture what you look like too
Go ahead and explain what I look like. This would be a good experiment
So being that more people are showing up what would be a good hobby to curb my addiction then? I'm already on that yardwork every other day, and I have bongos I used to play. Any reccomendations?
Something that gets you out of the house and away from it when you have urges. Doesn't matter what it is. Go for a run.
Also, does your girlfriend know you use? I'm not sure what substance you're using, but if you're having to flush it then I have my presumptions.
I never did drugs, nor smoked (none of my friends did growing up and the older I got I hated the smell).
Weed, speed, psilocybin, lions mane. Usually an assorted mix daily. I used to have quite the stash. Psilocybin I limit to once a month however.
Also any liquor I could get my hands on
Girlfriends on weed and speed but she regulates it. Weed once a night, speed as needed, usually 2 or 3 20mg's addyXR a week.
I miss my full spectrum mushroom regimen. That was my prime I tell you. I was the poster boy of health. Truly. Every mushroom truly is magical. That's a pricey lifestyle for me however.