Thinking if I should jump or not. My main fear is that once I'm falling, I'll regret it...

You don’t know that retard.
You’re already shitfucked since you live in one of these few places in the US with gun laws. Best way to kill yourself is to shoot yourself in the head, then let your body fall from a large height. You can’t regret jumping if you aren’t conscious while you fall, and your chances of being a vegetable reduce drastically.

Have you tried getting any kind of help?

actually nah, although i did see that thread (which is why i decided to jump right to the point in this one instead of lingering on details like that other guy)

The fact that you’re asking us for reasons not to die shows that you don’t want to actually do it.
Coward.
If you end up doing it though, do a Facebook live. I’ve been needing a good laugh.

Already looked into it, was surprised to learn shotguns don't require a license. Unfortunately, a) that's money that I don't have, and b) I can't get a gun because I have a ton of mental illness type shit in my background check.
Shooting myself on a ledge is actually a good idea, though, I'll look into finding a gun somehow.

New lease on life isn't really what I was talking about.

I was thinking more along the lines of just taking whatever you want without worrying about the consequences. Steal a car... rob a bank... shit on your boss's desk. Whatever your heart desires.

Being suicidal effectively removes the consequence part anyway.

ok edgelord

egglord

True AF, I know there's that whole "death by cop" method. I'm trying to minimize pain though, both to myself and to others. Still, I like the idea. Maybe I'll rob a clothing store before I do it. My corpse will be fucked from the fall but at least it'll be fitted up in some nice clothes.

My point being that you might as well live as large as possible and take risks...

You may discover that you enjoy life in the process.

Death is really painful.
Your consciousness undivides itself and becomes one with all beings, particularly with those whom care about your passing and you get to become a feeling in our hearts and a thought in our heads.
Like losing an arm, except losing everything.
If you really want to die. Die by starvation, I doubt you'd get through the first 3week water fast and even get to hunger... Because you will see the light within 36hrs but honestly if you do 3weeks water fast you'll be so much cleaner and you'll see God more clearly.
Fuck dying not worth it.

Ever slammed your hand really hard on the ground as you tripped and put your hand out to stop your fall? You know how it hurts like a fucking bitch the whole way up your arm for a good few minutes? Imagine that, but all over your body, as your legs snap and your ribs penetrate multiple organs. Chances are you'll be lying on the ground with a punctured lung, unable to breathe and slowly die from a combination of extreme pain and blood loss. Of course, you could jump head first but you could just come back as a vegetable. Or you might just snap your spinal cord and be a quadriplegic for the rest of your life, having someone clean your ahit and piss and unable to kill yourself because nobody will do it for you. Jumping is one of the worse and dumbest ways to go unless you're jumping off a skyscraper. That way, you'll likely pass out before you hit the ground out if fear. Don't jump, man. Do something else. Make it quick. I know it won't matter in the end because, fuck it, you'll be dead but right now you're not so at least think of that.

gopro or GTFO

I live in NYC, homie. Plenty of skyscrapers

You could go and make it so that other people don't have to go through this?

Eh.. I really think the whole suicide thing is overrated tbh.

Think about the freedom you have by literally not giving a fuck. Find random women and tell them you'd like to lick their assholes... streak through the NYC stock exchange. Molest a priest..

Fuck, the list of hilarious antics is unending..

Molest a priest
Hah

what

I guess? I dunno, that type of "freedom" to do whatever I want isn't appealing to me

What if, instead of jumping to your death, you started a trend wherein you film yourself pissing on meter maids? Selfie style. Hell, filming any of the shit I've suggested would be money.

Instant YouTube sensation.

Besides not being here anymore, what does appeal to you?

Well I wanna say "restarting my life," with different people in a different environment and different hobbies or whatever, but then, I've already done that multiple times in the past few years and I'm miserable through all of it. I've come to learn I'm pretty... sociopathic, would you call it? Basically, no matter how many people I surround myself with or try to get close to, and no matter how good I am at forming new relationships, it always feels super hollow and aggravating, like I can't genuinely connect with anybody.
I used to be suuuuper into video games, and I guess I still play games to pass the time or whatever, but the real enthusiasm and joy I had from them is gone.
I dunno, I feel like there must be SOMETHING I enjoy but I've struggled for years to think of it.

how do you use them, cus i'm 22 and struggling with this and suicidal because of it

Obviously I'm not gonna do that, but I'm curious, does anyone EVER actually do that? Like, has some user ever actually promised to stream it and then actually streamed it? Or is it all just memes

OP here, if you're suicidal because you haven't fucked anyone yet you're a dumbass

Start with a bottle of lotion, a box of tissues, and the first Harry Potter flick.

Maybe you're like me, in that you get zero satisfaction or pleasure from being around people. Nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, I echo your statements regarding the hollowness of relationships. And I avoid them.

The world is a big place, with lots of shit going on that you and I have no idea about... life is very different in Thailand. Go check it out and get some easy poon. Hate Asians? Go to Brasil and see how they live. You might find something that makes life worth living. Or, maybe the plane will crash and it doesn't matter.

I don't have money to do any of that, and my current living situation ensures that I won't have money to do any of that anytime within the next decade.

Might as well explain your situation. How fucked are you financially?

No high school diploma (I seriously don't want to get into it), parents supported me up until they realized I'm a lost cause. Currently a couch surfer. The headphones I'm wearing right now were stolen after someone left them charging at a CVS - Let's just leave it at that.

So, you're young and dealing with some bad early life choices. Believe it or not, most of us started out that way.

The diploma thing limits you, but not as much as you think. I'd suggest working a dead end job long enough to get your GED or whatever they call it these days. Pick any fast food joint...

After that, trade work can lead to good places... skip the trades that keep you outside working, and go for the ones that put you inside of a mostly finished building. Low voltage cabling is a decent choice, especially if you can find a company that contracts with the government.

Don't kill yourself

Okay but I think you're missing the crucial thing here: I'm not depressed because my life is shit, my life is shit because I'm depressed. I had good grades, a steady job, all that, but the apathy got worse and worse and now I don't care enough to do anything. Obviously I can't literally prove this, but trust me, even if I had plenty of money and a nice job, I'd still be suicidal

Do you have health insurance?

If not, get that job and go see someone. Hold out until then. You clearly have a good handle on what your issues are, up to and including the fact that you know it's psychological and negatively affecting you.

It's worth doing.

I really appreciate what you're saying here, but actually, I've been seeing a psychiatrist for most of my life (one of the few things, along with laundry and occasional taxes, that my family is still willing to help me pay for) and I know that therapy helps, but the one thing psychiatrists have always told me is that I'm only gonna get better if I WANT to get better, and honestly, I don't really want to get better

Just shoot yourself in the head, over in a second.

I'm sorry to hear that. Honestly.

I think you should keep trying though.