Men have a biological obligation to ejaculate by any means necessary, be those means sex or masturbation or anything in between. If a man willingly stops ejaculating for prolonged periods of time, he will only begin to ejaculate in his sleep. His body will literally override and force him to do what he needs to do. If, for whatever reason, he can't ejaculate in his sleep but still continues to manufacture sperm and/or semen, his body will slowly be poisoned by the excess.
At the same time, women are becoming increasingly less willing to sleep with men or even engage with them sexually as the undesirable fear of being labelled a 'slut' continues to strengthen.
As such, it can be said that there needs to be rules set in place; specific psychosexual barriers which define the thin line that separates gayness from platonic sexual interaction between men. The following are those rules:
Men have a biological obligation to ejaculate by any means necessary...
1.) Any phrases which may imply homosexual intent must always be punctuated by a, "No homo," within 5 seconds of being spoken.
2.) Handjobs are never gay.
3.) Kissing and holding hands is always gay. These are signs of emotional intimacy far beyond the scope of a platonic friendship.
4.) Clothed cuddling isn't gay unless immediately preceded or succeeded by sexual interaction. Nude cuddling is always gay.
5-a.) A blowjob is gay but a brojob isn't. A brojob is a strictly heterosexual way for a man to alleviate a friend's medical need to ejaculate. A blowjob, however, is quite gay indeed because it is an indication of love enacted through a brojob. The difference between blowjobs and brojobs is subtle: The two are defined by whether or not the performer swallows. A performer who swallows is effectively communicating that he wants at least some part of his recipient to remain inside him for as long as possible despite not deriving any direct physical pleasure from it that will lead to ejaculation, which is gay. To avoid engaging in a gay blowjob while performing a brojob, the performer must always spit after the recipient has reached orgasm.
5-b.) Soliciting a brojob is not gay. Offering one is, unless it's obvious that the potential recipient is in dire need of a brojob.
6.) Anal sex isn't gay unless the top says "I love you," during. Anything the bottom says during anal sex can be disregarded because it's possible he has entered an elevated mental state known as dick hysteria, or "cocklust," which may cause him to do or say things he may otherwise never do or say. Cocklust is a sort of trance that is caused by an overwhelming amount of sexually intense sensations that overload the brain and inhibit cognitive function. It is, however, gay for the bottom to say, "I love you," immediately before or after sexual activity as cocklust wears off quickly.
7.) Watching gay porn, with or without the presence of another, isn't gay unless someone present at the time reaches orgasm while viewing it. If that happens, everybody involved is gay.
What if you jerk off and get cum on yourself?
5-a, addendum) The recipient of what he thought was a simple brojob that was turned into a blowjob by a performer who is attempting to swallow the recipient's semen without consent is permitted to punch the performer once in the mouth as an attempt to force him to spit the semen out. If, however, the performer swallows anyway, both are now gay.
Not gay unless you deliberately scoop the semen into your mouth despite other methods of cleaning up being readily available.
Consuming your own semen out of necessity or desperation is not gay, though.
I want a brojob right this second! Any takers?
Brojobs are to be reserved for friends. It's not necessarily gay to give a brojob to a stranger, but it is cutting it quite close. It implies desperation to have a dick in your mouth.
Ask a friend for a brojob before asking the internet.
is it gay to offer your friend a brojob on his birthday?
No. It's considered rude not to offer your friend a brojob on his birthday. It's akin to not wishing him a happy birthday at all.
sure, if someone accepts randomly it's likely gay for them, but what do I care? i could even cum in a gay guy's mouth and not be gay. if anything, us straight men should be harvesting the gays for their recources! turn the rainbow into our tool!
holy fuck this thread is gay
Voluntarily engaging in sexual contact with an openly gay man is in fact gay.
Calling people gay unjustly is gay.
a guy who likes dick is the closest thing to a girl who likes dick. what gives? i'm just tryin to catch a nut
>Anything the bottom says during anal sex can be disregarded
this bit makes the whole thing FUCKING GOLD
seriously, like, if you're a dude don't act like you enjoy sucking my dick. it makes it weird.
Alright, fine. Repealed.
Voluntarily engaging in sexual contact with an openly gay man is no longer in fact gay.
The rest stands.
Just chop your balls off user.
We'll vote on it.
>Voluntarily engaging in sexual activity with an openly gay man is inherently gay in nature.
All who agree shall say, "Aye."
All who disagree shall say, "Neigh."
neigh. it's all about the intent.
what if I thought he was gay but he's just another straight guy giving me a brojob?
Then it's still straight.
1 Neigh
0 Ayes so far
that's called reading negative intent in an ambiguous situation, and that's just a flaw of your character.
shouldn't someone create a way to catalogue these rules for the future to see, as well perhaps
another site where threads don't expire so one may continue this talk about the rules
What if I let my best friend cum in my butt, "to see what it's like," with the agreement I can then cum in his butt too, to cancel out the mutual experience. Is that gay.
Aye
I declare the Neigh's have it, then.
Voluntarily engaging in sexual activity with an openly gay man is not inherently gay in nature.
*bangs gavel*
Spoke too soon.
1 Aye, 1 Neigh.
*unbangs gavel*
Feel free to copy The Official Rules of Gayness into a Pastebin or something.
Not gay unless you specifically asked him to cum inside you. If he wanted to, and you accepted, it's not gay regardless of whether or not you returned the favor.
Is it gay to ask a man to fuck you in the ass?
Who is doing it to see what it's like? If you want to see what it's like to be banged in the ass and creampied, then you are gay. otherwise, no, and can you fuck your friend in the ass forever.
am I correct here?
No. Seeing as men can reach orgasm via prostate stimulation, being the bottom isn't necessarily gay in itself. It's just another method of reaching orgasm, a medical necessity, that's more fun than simply masturbating alone.
>am I correct here?
Sort of. The gayness of asking to be fucked is dependent on why you want to be fucked. If it's because you love semen and want to be filled with it, it's gay. If it's because you want your prostate stimulated, you're essentially using another as a dildo, which isn't gay.
Tops have the right to ask why the bottom wants to be fucked.
What if you told your friend to cum inside you only because you didn't want a big mess on your chest or mouth or wherever. Is that gay.
That constitutes the Desperation Clause, which essentially states that the consumption or acceptance of semen not out of pleasure but only as avoidance of mess in a tight situation where alternatives to cleaning up such as rags, paper towels or tissues are not available, or you don't have enough time to clean up using those alternative methods is not gay.
So it's not gay.
What if you agree to get fucked, only because you both want your prostate stimulated, but mainly also your turn on top? That can't be gay, can it? Or half of South America would be gay.
Not gay. That's just fair trade.
thinking about what constitutes a gay behavior is in fact gay
>doing something different is gay
It's called pushing the overton window
One more question. If I get a boner while getting fucked, it's just from the physical stimulation, isn't it? Doesn't mean I'm gay, right?
Thinking about things doesn't constitute doing those things. I'm simply trying to provide a social structure that makes the separation between gay and not gay behavior more clear.
Ask all the questions your heart desires. I don't tire of them.
I believe that whether or not you have a boner during any particular activity is totally irrelevant. You could be doing something completely non-sexual and still have a boner. You could try to achieve an erection for sexual activity and fail.
Penises have minds of their own. It's not necessary to clarify what they do because what they do often has no meaning.
So boners are totally irrelevant to what makes you gay.
We still have yet to break this tie.
We need one more aye or neigh to break it.
is it gay to undress another man for him in preparation of a sexual act?
Yes.
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