I need to make edible food for potential girlfriend tonight ... help me get laid!

I need to make edible food for potential girlfriend tonight ... help me get laid!

What do I need to buy...And instructions

Easy Simple Instructions For Retards Needed..

Attached: pfyqrve9v4i21.jpg (960x540, 82K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=MUx4OwILCD8
youtube.com/channel/UCekQr9znsk2vWxBo3YiLq2w
goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/gordon-ramsay-s-butter-chicken
lecremedelacrumb.com/baked-honey-mustard-chicken/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Woman at work called me pathetic today and I think it turned me on a bit

Attached: il_570xN.813532673_bvod.jpg (570x855, 140K)

Spaghetti is easy to do.

Buy hotdogs. Buy hotdogs buns......boil water. Drop hotdogs in water for 5 min. Serve on open bun. Rape femanon.

Just buy an edible or the butter itself you tard

/thread

I am way out of my depth.... Im fucking screwed

Just stop trying to be Chef Ramsay and order some decent food you retard.

/ck/ is probably your best bet, no one on Yea Forums can cook.

go to blue apron's website. you don't have to subscribe to their service to browse all of their recipes. they have fairly simple recipes that only require a knife, a pot, a pan, an oven, salt, pepper, and olive oil. most recipes take like 30 mins to make, but if you're not a good cook budget an hour.

/ck/ is by far the best board

make a grilled cheese and a can of tomato soup, 10/10 wambo combo.
grilled cheese is just white bread, mayo or butter, and your favorite sliced cheese(cheddar is a good one).
>1. cover both sides of the 2 bread slices with a thin layer of mayo
>2. make a cheese sandwich
>3. fry on one side at med heat for 1-2 min
>4. flip and fry another 1-2 until cheese is melted
>5. flip until both sides are brown and crispy looking
good luck

Roofie Colada

pro move

order some food to be delivered at your place. No one care that you can't cook.

Or cook something together, it's a fun thing to do as a couple.

The bitch should be cooking FFS. Are you the bitch OP?

Attached: 1555381187494.jpg (225x225, 11K)

Whatever you choose, serve salad with it so she thinks you eat healthy. Even you can make salad

So, I wanna get you laid user. First things first do you have access to a kitchen? Or a grill? A frying pan? Or a sharp set of knives?

Attached: 84ba0a250093da46f621a5085d274352.jpg (720x845, 142K)

Make her eat your dick.
Chicks love cock.
Make sure to cum in her mouth and she swallows every drop.

Google crawfish bisque. Super easy to make, I usually skip the cream cheese because fuck that shit.

It would make it a bit more creamy if you like cream cheese tho.

spaghetti aglio e olio. easy fast and tasty
you need spaghetti, 5ish gloves of garlic, olive oil, 50-100g parmesan (not pregrated if you have a grater or any means to somewhat grate it, invest some money for decent cheese to get your dick wet), 10ish mini tomatoes, couple spices (salt pepper chili oregano/some italian mix maybe and 2 spoonfull of veg stock).
cook the spaghetti (in salted water), cut the tomatoes, squeeze (or mince) garlic, grate the cheese. mix all but the spaghetti (and a bit of cheese) together (be gentle with the chili and basicly all the spices, you can adjust later). when the spaghetti are done give 2 cups of the noodle water over the mix and give that into a preheated pan. leave for a couple sec and then add the (still moist) noodles. let sit till the water is gone. top with some more parmesan and olive oil for the looks. its actually easier to do than to describe

Steamed hams

Buy McDonald cheeseburgers and claim they are your home coked burgers

please american people stop trying to cook italian dish. Make burger. youtube.com/watch?v=MUx4OwILCD8

Attached: 1480204836697.png (1500x2249, 417K)

Attached: 1480204941806.png (1500x1675, 1.06M)

Attached: 1480205067785.png (1500x1684, 355K)

Attached: 1480205220181.png (1500x2826, 1.88M)

Attached: 1480205286276.png (1500x1125, 548K)

Simple.
Grapes, Olives, Crackers, Cheese, Wine.
You eat light and she gets lit on wine.
Fucking will ensue.

Isn't Japanese food a massive turn off for women that will make you look like an effeminate faggot?
I suggest barbecue ribs, simple and manly.

Attached: GrillMatesTENNESSEE-SMOKEHOUSE-BBQ-RIBS.jpg (620x310, 43K)

>spaghetti aglio e olio
He wants a dish to get him laid, not laughed at

Pasta sits heavy.
You run the risk of "not being in the mood"
But you do earn bf points.

This

Antipasto on a cheeseboard with some wafer crackers and about 3 bottles of wine

Those where the only ones I had available (and it might work if she's a weeb), I wish I had the meatbread one from /tg/ since that drives the women moist

Go to store and get 'Margaret Holmes simple suppers' in canned section.
Buy 1lb of meat to go with it, see can for suggestions.
Follow directions on can for easy awesome meal for 2.
(If desired, also buy a bag salad for side)

OP, give me a rundown of what you have?

What is your spice rack like?

How much time do you have?

What is your budget?

I will help you as my gf is always really impressed with what I make for her

Note Walmart always carries these

(Kosher) salt, Pepper grinder, ribeye steaks and asparagus

Season the steaks with salt once they are room temp and let sit. After the salt has dissolved into the steak, season with pepper to taste.
Initially sear both sides on a hot as FUCK skillet with your preferred oil, something with a high smoke point, but only long enough to sear each side. Finish in a 350• oven until a low medium rare, do not ask her how she wants her steak done; just give it to her.

While the steak is in the oven, sauté some asparagus in butter, 4 each is good. Season with salt and pepper, maybe some light citrus(lemon)

Give her the food with confidence, like “this is fucking good EAT IT” which will psychologically influence her to agree since women don’t really think for themselves.

If done correctly you should be fucking her 30min-1hr after you finish eating.

Attached: image.jpg (1242x361, 82K)

>Give her the food with confidence, like “this is fucking good EAT IT” which will psychologically influence her to agree since women don’t really think for themselves
This.
Best post ITT.

i know you are speaking out of experience but it wanst the food she was laughing at my man

Make her an Anime, bitches love animes

Attached: ZOMG.webm (1280x720, 795K)

What else could it have been........ OH NO

Croquettes are easy to do.

Boil potatoes in low fire until the skin can be peeled with a fork,
Let potatoes cool,
Skin potatoes,
Mash them until you end up with a very pasty mixture,
Add salt and pepper,
Then an egg,
Shape like small balls,
coat in breading,
Fry

Croquettes

Force her to eat your cockmeat sandwich and then go to bed

OP dont do this unless you're both 12

Attached: Paris_Tuileries_Garden_Facepalm_statue.jpg (1024x683, 102K)

Tacos

Fry the mince with the seasoning from the box, chop up salad, done.

Just follow instructions from one of the videos on this channel. The lasagna one is a good choice and its pretty hard to fuck up a lasagna.

youtube.com/channel/UCekQr9znsk2vWxBo3YiLq2w

Attached: 3558383424.jpg (1514x1624, 189K)

i don't blame you bro, i would've been kind of turned on too, then i'd rape her and show her what's up

OP said edible, this shit is always plastic in nature.

Make some pasta, you dumb shit. Or pizza.

true art

This recipe is a dead-cert.

My gf loves me cooking it so much, she tells me that she will never cook it as she doesn't think she can do it as well as I can.

goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/gordon-ramsay-s-butter-chicken

Don't overdo it on the carbs...one pack of microwave rice works (For simplicity), but naan breads are great, as the sauce this recipe makes is really nice

If you can buy some nice drinks, like pink gin (girls love that, rhubarb pink gin > berry pink gin though).

> implying that Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup isnt a top tier meal
> implying that its something only for children
????????

Attached: received_1080267452181680.jpg (540x498, 23K)

agreed. if op can manage to make a true tomato bisque not just some campbell's red slop and a perfect grilled cheese with some swiss and cheddar and not velveeta, he's in her pants for sure. everyone and I mean everyone can get down with a grilled cheese and tomato soup.

lecremedelacrumb.com/baked-honey-mustard-chicken/

i got laid with this.

>cook pasta
>heat equal amounts of butter and flour in pot
>add milk and dash of cream to this mixture
>bring to boil
>you have acheived basic white sauce
>season with salt pepper and nutmeg and italian herbs
>add mozzarella and cheddar cheese
>dice onion and red bell pepper
>toss with pasta
>add pasta and sauce to baking dish
>stir
>cover with foil
>bake at 375 until gooey and bubbling
>uncover, top with bread crumbs
>bake until bread crumbs are toasted
>remove from oven
>let sit for 5 minutes
>serve with hearty sourdough and olive oil/balsamic
>even some roasted asparagus
>get your faggy a la fancy on
>shit is so cash money
>any bitch will blow you until your balls turn inside out for an ooey gooey pasta bake

fuck fucking this women tonight lets treat her right
so
go to walmart
buy 2 nice steaks
then look in the summer section (probably near the garden center) for the grill mates shit
search for the "Bourbon Molasses" rub/spice

grab some shrooms and onions
probably need a side to go with it up to you
just get some nice "insta-mash and gravy" or some velvetta mac and cheese
go home
now get 2 separate pans (one for steaks one for onions and shrooms)

lightly oil the steak pan and put on medium heat
rub the absolute shit out of the steaks in the bourbon molasses rub
once the pan is hot transfer the steaks over to the pan and put a lid on the pan to seal in the heat (going to heat it for about 6-8 minutes depending on the temp you want your steak you will adjust the time im just guessing you want well done though)

now in the other pan put some water in the pan
throw it on high heat
toss in the shrooms
shrooms tend to absorb moisture and you don't want them to become absolutely loaded with oil so make damn sure you cook them in water first
stir them around every so often until it is time to flip the steaks minutes
in this time chop your onions however you want i don't go full minced i just cut in rings like im putting it on a burger then cut the ring in half
flip your steaks (rub some more bourbon molasses) and put the time for another 6-8 minutes
toss the water out of the shroom pan
lightly oil the pan put on high heat again throw in the shrooms and onions
now season how you want i just do salt pepper and garlic powder
let them cook until the steak timer beeps
once the timer beeps flip steaks again then throw the onion/shroom mixture on top of the steak
now cut the slightest bit of butter on top of the steak/shrooms
remove from heat and cover them again while you grab plates/set table
(remember to cook your side at the appropriate time so that it all finishes together)

now plate and serve my guy
enjoy pussy later