ITT: we roleplay being in an office

ill show u my dick in the back room

Roxy, I told you that you can't dress like that. If you continue to do it, I'll call HR.

What's that your mom died and you need friday off for the funeral service?
UNEMPLOYED

Hey Jim, can you please email me a quarterly REPORT, not a mother fucking excel spreadsheet with all those god damn circular references

JIM DID YOU STEAL MY STAPLER AGAIN

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FUCK YOU FAGGOT YOU CAN'T HAVE IT IT'S MINE

SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M WEARING HEADPHONES!!! WHAT DID YOU SAY???

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give it back or I'll tell the boss

Who the fuck took the fucking sandwich out of the refrigerator it was mine

fine, fucker.

little does he know it's actually a bomb hehe

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Everytime I go to work I think of killing myself

stop playing with the stapler and get back to work, my valued employees.

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i swear, one of these days I'm going to burn this place to the ground

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Anyone have a copy of the TPS report? I lost mine.

Fuck you, you fat stinky jew. I hope you get run over by a car.

Who's cock do I have to suck to get a working LAN network. It'd help with... work related activities

What did you say to me, Mr.Faggoloid?
You know what, you're fired.
Your pay check will be donated to uh, help the middle east

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Hehe, yeah, I sent it to you over Google Documents

here you go

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Not if I have anything to say about it, bitch. I'm the new boss

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Mister Berkeley! My laptop is not powering on again. Can you get the IT guy on the phone again?

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no

GUARDS GUARDS ARREST HIM GUARDS GUARDS!

*sirens*

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Aw MAN those are some nice feet

Oh no you don't, boys, take him out.

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yeah uhh you don't pay us enough so there's no incentive to actually do anything about this

White niggers can’t stop him

Hey guys. I stopped by HR and saw this on the computer

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You can to and can to sand can too on town is in the asrt market of final wars. Later on will be we find ourself reckoning the world into the wish of what could be. But neve r is.

They can and will, watch and learn goyim.

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God damnit. Invoices go on the top shelf and invoices go on the BOTTOM.

How many times do I have to say this?

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IT here, did you try turning it off and on again?

I'll go and get IT for you, John.

Can can too and will and coo

Invoice deez nuts

*empties desk as tons of them fall out*

you do it then bitch

Anyway now that the goyi- Mischievous employee has been dealt with, could anyone bring me and my fellow, uh, "HR's" some wine?

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Woah woah woah. Those jackholes are gonna delete that shit. Spread it in the company email

Already on it.

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I AM THE OPTIMAL COWORKER

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Who's in the first stall of the bathroom? He's crying delightfully

Atta boy. I hope we can get CS:S on the computers soon

By the way Jim I heard this good nigger joke...wanna hear it?

who the hell keeps stealing my bedazzled guatamala themed stapler off my work desk? Jim i know it was you

IT IS I, THE SHIT EATER! *growl*

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WHO THE FUCK CLOGGED THE TOILET WITH WIPES

I forgot we had a black janitor.

HEY BOY, THE MEN'S TOILETS COULD USE SOME WORK. OOGA OOGA?

alright guys, dont really wanna make a big deal about it but my niece will be coming through at lunch to sell magazine for school. She has horrible acne just like mine so she could really use the confidence boost from a few sales. I am fully prepared to cover all costs, just please dont look at her pores or cystic boils. Its really bad. Thanks guys!

*pops zit*

Tell the little fat cunt to stop eating cake so fucking often. Jesus, her bloodtype must be ragu

Hey boys! Can anyone help me with my computer? I can't open any of apps!

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It's like almost every week you pull this shit on us. The other day she came in here selling acne cream. I know they say not to use your own product but sheeeeeeesh.

shut up dumb ass fucking white boi faggot
I am muscular hispanic
I will kill all of white bois and niggers ALL OF THEM
pic is me with my battle gear, I only 4 semi auto mid range weps 2 long range weps and 6 armor trucks and I plan on using them to destoy the white bois for mexico
Viva El Imperio, Viva Mexico! Para La Reconquista, Para El Regreso De Nustra Tierra Santa!

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All I know is last summah she had a ten pound mole removed from her ass, marone the size of that thing!

Bill, you wore that Halloween costume last year and almost got beaten by the security.

>turns on the monitor
Alright looks like everything is fine now. Hey are you doing anything this weekend by chance?

Did you just assume my race and gender? I'll have you know I'm a proud goblin woman and I'll kick your spic ass

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his drinking was really out of control

get the fuck out of my face or i'll get HR

shut up white boi DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOUR RACE

>turns monitor back off
Alright have fun getting fired for lack of production.

WAIT COME BACK I PROMISE I'LL HAVE SEX WITH YOU

That's more like it.

>turns monitor back on for her
>she opens internet explorer
>uses bing toolbar to search for google
>uses google to search for youtube
>watches videos and scrolls around on phone until shift ends

Fuck you hairy cunt, my dick is red hot on your ass

You would dick a goblin, homo

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