>story time, faggots
>be me, 18
>5'10" ugly overweight beta kissless virgin gook weeb degenerate faggot
>single mom always too busy working but provides for me and little bro
>have few good family moments tho
>grandparents and aunt kinda help out but also work
>no real friends at school
>social skills of a fucking retard
>graduated high school, 4.0 GPA
>tried really hard, but not really
>never had any interests beside anime, music, and fucking masturbating
>never applied myself
>never got advice on how to start adult life
>teachers, counselors never reached out to discuss future
>be too much of a fucking retard to reach out myself
>be too much of a fucking retard to apply for scholarships to get into good colleges
>attempt to continue school at local community college
>realize that i am actually a complete waste of fucking space
>my whole lack of a future is my fault
>time to die
Story time, faggots
>clean up my room one last time
>do the laundry and put everything up
>erase everything i had on my laptop, pc, and phone, reset them
>made a list of all the passwords i used in case they needed them
>left all my personal belongings
>go to cliff, stare at the bottom
>think of home and family, simple and peaceful times
>"shit, i can't do this."
>convince mom to let me quit college because always hated school, so why bother
>capable of working, so start working
>move out on my own
>just kidding
>live in aunt's basement
>hate every single job
>can't be an hero because afraid of what mental state family would be left in
>seriously don't understand why family bothers caring about a worthless, entitled piece of shit
>fast forward 4 years
>still the same person
>still haven't kms
>lying in bed one morning
>still living in basement
>unemployed for a bit at the time
>be the 8940193rd time realizing what a lucky piece of shit i am
>instead of thinking of necking self again, decide to get up and stretch
>shower, shave, make self presentable
>drive to nearest store to ask if hiring
>never worked at a store before btw
>"sure, user. could use a stocker. you're hired. $9/hr, about 30 hours a week"
>"okay, cool."
>not cool
>too much of a fucking lazy piece of shit to work 2 jobs
>no real experience for anything past entry-level
>settle for that one job
>show up, meet team, meet supervisor, let's call her Ruby
>easy enough job
>show up early, never miss an hour
>keep quiet, keep working
>fast forward 1 month
>Ruby approaches me, "hey, you think you can run a register before [coworker] comes in? kinda shorthanded.
>"wtf this isn't my job no"
>don't actually say that
>cover register
>interacting with people is fucking exhausting
>doesn't happen all the time, so it's bearable
>keep working there
>ffw another month
>Ruby and new employee approach me
>"new employee, this is user. he's pretty good at what he does, he can show you the ropes."
>think "what the fuck Ruby i can't fucking do this"
>don't actually say it
>fucking do it anyway
>manage to fake enthusiasm when teaching job
>fake conversation
>this happens like every time someone new shows up
>ffw 5 more months
>Ruby walks up "user, can you come with me?"
>think "wait is this what being fired is like wtf did i do i'm just doing my job"
>"user you've been doing a wonderful job here, and we would like to promote you to team lead."
>full-time, raise, benefits, etc.
>surprise
>don't question it
>"thanks, Ruby"
>become team lead, Ruby says to focus on paperwork and shit
>says i can let part-timers handle most of the work
>fuck yeah
>go a few days assigning tasks and watching others work
>bad taste in mouth
>can do work and paperwork at the same time
>not that hard
>keep doing it that way
>Ruby says "hey, user. you don't have to work so hard."
>wtf are you talking about
>don't actually say it
>spew bullshit like "i'm just trying my best"
>part-timers usually come and tell me "you're the shit, user. teaching us everything, working with us. appreciate you, man."
>always do that forced smile and say "just doing my job"
>ffw 3 months
>still working at the same place
>decide to start hitting gym because why not
>start noticing a change in the mirror
>start feeling a little less like shit
>over time, Ruby and company start noticing change as well
>"hey, looking good user"
>"thanks, leave me alone"
>don't actually say it
>they eventually start asking about personal stuff
>"why don't we ever hang out, user? what do you do for fun, user?"
>don't fucking know how to handle this, interacting with people is exhausting
>decide to try to change that
>start talking with Ruby and co. about small stuff
>part-timers are like "you're chill, user. i can fuck with user. you're funny, user."
>start looking people in the eye
>talk about music or anime that used to air on toonami/adult swim and whatever
>never really talk about anything real
>never start hanging out or whatever
>start paying extra attention to boss lady
>and holy shit Ruby is 8/10 qt 3.14
>actually amazing person
>make it to the point where conversations are not started exclusively by Ruby and co.
>they doesn't seem to mind me talking to them
>everyone's got a few common interests with me
>figure out Ruby is like only 2 years older than me
>make a joke one time, "what the hell have i been doing with my life, then hahaha"
>"everyone's got their own pace. you're doing good, user."
>feel like there's a good rapport, probably
>feelsokayman.png
>ffw 9 months
>still working at store
>still living in aunt's basement
>still the same person, just more in shape
>thoughts of suicide get extra heavy
>start vividly dreaming of dying every single night
>be disappointed in the morning when still alive
>ah shit, here we go again
>Ruby and co. start noticing
>"you okay, user?"
>"i'm okay."
>not okay
>start unintentionally showing that negativity at work
>Ruby, now a manager, asks me to come with her
>sit down in office
>"you okay, user? you haven't been yourself."
>"you say that like you know me."
>actually say it
>"what?"
>"oh, shit, sorry. no i was kidding haha.
>awkward fucking smile
>"just some personal issues, i can keep working, if that's the problem. sorry. i'm not trying to slack off" bullshit
>"okay, user. you know you can come to me if you want to talk."
>okay, whatever.
>two days later
>early morning, parking lot, gripping steering wheel
>"i don't want to do this anymore" repeats over and over in head extremely loudly
>doesn't fucking stop
>start fucking bawling in my car in the parking lot
>not thinking of controlling my breath
>hyperventilate
>full autismo kicks in
>bang on wheel
>slam head into the headrest
>headbutt horn a few times
>can't hear because REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>screaming "I DON'T- I DON'T WAN- I DON'T-
>there's something slapping my window
>look to my left to see Ruby
>she sees my ugly fucking bitch-ass pussy autistic baby face
>try to put my keys back in ignition to escape
>hands still shaking, can't do it
>doors unlocks automatically when put in park
>fucking thanks, Hyundai
>Ruby opens my door
>puts her hand on my chest
>"user, what's wrong? do i need to call an ambulance?"
>shout fucking "NO"
>trying to get her hand off me, can't feel my own hands, give up
>hear her taking deep breaths
>for some reason, copy her breaths
>get feeling back in hands
>"good, user. keep breathing. that's it. in, then out."
>realize am squeezing her wrist
>let go
>"i'm sorry."
>"you're fine. come with me, okay?"
>just get out and follow her
>she has her hand on my back
>sit in her office
>Ruby hands me a bottle of water and a box of tissue
>"just take it easy, user. everything's okay. i gotta go do the start-up meeting and open up, but i'll be right back, alright?"
>she leaves and closes the door behind her
>blow nose
>wipe face
>drink water
>wtf am i doing
>wait
>Ruby comes back in and sits next to me instead of across the desk
>"you okay?" she puts her hand on my shoulder
>"yeah."
>"can you work today?"
>stay silent for fucking ever
>"yeah."
>"look at me, user."
>look at her
>"are you sure?"
>stay quiet again, but this time, take a good look at her
>stare too fucking long
>only concern and compassion in her eyes
>snap out of it
>look at carpet
>"yeah."
>eyes probably still shot
>still sniffling
>Ruby squeezes my shoulder
>look at her again
>she shakes her head
>"i think you should take a break. try again tomorrow."
>try to find words
>fail
>"okay?" she asks
>"okay."
>"i'm gonna drive behind you on the way home.
>"okay."
>"i remember you mentioning that you live right down the road."
>"okay."
>drive home in like 7 minutes
>Ruby and i meet talk on the driveway for a minute
>"you gonna be okay, user?"
>"yeah."
>"good. just remember if you need to talk, you can just give me a call."
>what are we, friends?
>"see you tomorrow?" she asks
>"yeah."
>she gets back in her car, waves goodbye and then leaves
>don't think too much about it
>crawl into basement and sleep until night
>crawl back up for dinner when aunt and her bf come home
>"hey user how was your day?"
>"the usual"
>finish up dinner
>do dishes
>go back to sleep
>wake up for work next morning
>really want to call in
>don't
>show up early like always
>Ruby asks me to meet in her office again
>sits next to me again
>she gives me a card
>to a therapist
>says the company insurance will cover it
>never really thought of going to therapy before
>almost immediately think "fuck that shit"
>start shaking my head
>words start coming out
Continue
>say something like "i don't need help"
>she puts her hand on my lap
>says "i thought that, too, not so long ago."
>she goes on about not knowing what to do with herself a while back, how she was always depressed but kept going
>she talked about having broken down at work kind of like i have and how she had someone looking out for her
>full autismo
>"if this is all there is to life, then i don't want it."
>she says "user, no," or something
>"i try and i try, but it's always the same."
Stfu and let the man continue at his own pace!
>start crying like an ugly bitch again
>stand up to leave
>Ruby takes my hand and she stands up as well
>"user, please."
>she hugs me
>never felt that warmth in a long time
>actually never felt this kind of warmth like ever
>"you're a good person, user."
>she's still holding on
>"you do your work, no questions asked. you never give anyone a hard time. you're nice to everyone. you're," etc.
>"i'm just doing what i'm supposed to do"
>Ruby says "not everyone can do that."
>uh, yes they can
>she keeps talking "then all of a sudden you're breaking in front of us, and then yesterday, you were having a panic attack."
>she looks at me without letting go
>"please, user. you're not alone. you don't have to be alone."
>be stupid and start leaning in
you typing this will last longer than your relationship lasted
Sorry
>she's not moving away yo
>close eyes
>plant lips
>everything is going like slow-mo or something and everything is warm wtf
>she's got my cheeks in her hands and she's kissing me back
>holy fucking shit
>idk how long we were making out for
>forget i'm standing in her office
>everything's nice and quiet
>end up resting forehead on hers
>she doesn't seem to mind
anyway
>we hear the others start coming in through the employee entrance
>"i think i should get ready to work."
>she whispers "please get help user."
>tell her okay
>set up appointment after work for the next tuesday
>start going every week, telling him about shit
I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. You didn’t deserve it.
>starts me on some shit called lexapro
>feels like it's helping
>Ruby says she was on the same thing
>she says she's proud of me
>tell therapist about this person i work with
>tell him i think they're the closest thing i have to a friend
>he tells me that if i think that, then they probably are my friend
>ask Ruby if i can call her after work to talk about the shit
>she says she doesn't mind
>gives me her personal phone number
>says she's happy to listen
>awesome
>ffw 6 months
>getting over my own bullshit
>working more efficiently
>thinking about applying for supervisor
>talk more with aunt and her bf, too
>even call home more often
>think more clearly
>think about Ruby
>i ask her if she wants to go to this thing in the city that happens on the first friday or whatever
>she tells me "yeah, it's been a while since i've gone to that. i'd love to."
>nice
>texts me her address so i can pick her up on the way
>go there together
>bunch of artsy shit and food and whatever
>glad the store got me used to being around a lot of people
>doesn't really matter when Ruby is next to me
>we watch a few performances, buy stuff at a few places
>think she's having a good time, i know i am
>eventually get back to her place
>"i had a nice time, user. thanks."
>give her a smile "me, too."
>what do you mean me too you fucking retard
this is really long OP
I could read a novel in that time
>ffw 4 months
>we'd gone to that thing every friday
>drop her off again, but this time she bought a lot of shit
>be like "want some help bringing everything in?"
>she's like "yes, please. haha"
>we walk into her living room
>"you can just set those on the couch, user."
>it's getting cold this time of year
>"want something to drink before you go, user? coffee? tea?"
>sure why not
>quick, think of something not cringey to say
>"nice place you got here."
>cringe
>"thanks." she smiles
>oh thank god
>she leads me to the kitchen and gets an electric kettle for the tea set up
>"um, make yourself at home," Ruby says
>wait a few minutes at the table
>water is boiling
>decide to get some peppermint tea ready for the both of us
>get tea ready
>"user."
>didn't notice her behind me
>turn around
>Ruby is completely naked
>diamonds, precum, ready to blow
>she kisses me
>"come with me." she says
>leads me to her bedroom and she gets me naked with her
>working out has paid off
>she's got this look that i'd never seen anyone make at me before
>probably look like a retard as always
>neither of us cares
>start fucking her
>come in like thirty seconds
>best feeling i have ever felt in my life
>lying there
>she's all over me
>we're whispering sweet nothings
>trying not to fall asleep
>remember this joke about how women only cuddle if she's not satisfied
>oh shit she didn't come
>fuck i want to make Ruby come
>little guy still recharging
>start kissing her and awkwardly make my way down
>she lets me
>she starts telling me how she likes it
>she's making a lot of noise
>she probably likes it
>she starts like convulsing
>holy shit are you okay
>she's like "yes! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"
>oh fuck
>diamonds again
>get inside for another minute or a half
>best fucking feeling i have ever felt in my life
>she's got her legs around me
>her hands on my face
>i think she likes the way i kiss
>we're getting loud as fuck
>nothing else matters
>lying next to her again
>quick little kisses
>her smile is making me smile like an idiot
>arm fell asleep under her head
>don't fucking care
>i ask her "why me?"
>"because i love you."
>tear up, but i can't stop smiling
>she wipes the tears away
>"i love you, too, Ruby."
>then she gets up and diappears
because guess what? i never got up and stretched. i never drove to any store. i'm still in bed, the same fucking worthless piece of shit that i always will be. i'm never going to change. i am incapable of change. i should have jumped off that cliff 4 years ago. in fact, i'm gonna go find a tree somewhere far away from everything and hang myself tomorrow or sunday.
have a nice life, faggots.
OP you should work as a writer
Nice story telling
Don't off yourself, think about Ruby
Live stream it
damn, the twist
You know you're actually a pretty good story teller. If you don't off yourself than you should really take up writing.
Legendary troll
I almost got emotionally invested in this Inception-tier story.
Good job, OP
Pretty good story OP now go kill yourself for wasting my time
An hero or grow up dude, but do it NOW
Two types of people
You can't control your environment, you can only change the internal. Good luck.
Old fags and new fags?
God dammit I was so invested. That legit sounded like a real life story. But don't be a retard there's no reason why u can't do the things in your story. Get s job, exercise then get a girlfriend. Its not impossible !
Lol this is why I love hate Yea Forums
Scholarships dont fucking matter and you cant get into harvard. Heres why. You need to be a foreigner from a disadvantaged group. Black canadian single mother in poverty type shit. Checks enough of the diversity boxes. You should look for the top school in your state. Just google it. Fafsa if american should pay 100%. The you can get a part time job and do school full tiem.
this. it was quite a good read, even with the subtle expectation that I would get punked at the end of the story. reminds me of short stories I used to write when I was younger in school.