More like >Everybody: WE WILL ENDLESSLY CONSUME HOLLYWOOD CRAP AS LONG AS IT'S BASED ON PRE-EXISTING CRAP FROM OUR CHILDHOOD!
Elijah Peterson
Actual fake story outbound.
>Be me. >25 at the time. >Beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him. >Pathological fear of girls since some bitch mind fucked me. >Have a younger sister, 13 at the time. >My sister is boy crazy, really wants to date a guy named Ray Pist. >Announces that she's "seeing him". >Father and I start discussing plans on how to shoot the bastard. >Few days later, brings the dude home. >Tall, scrawny freak with swastika tattoo on forehead. >Visible shrimp dick. >My father and I tell him he's "walked into the courtroom". >Discuss for a few minutes. >They go out. >Dad tells me, "it's not going to last, his dick is tiny". >Sis comes home. >Announces it was "fun". >Around a week later, my sister tells me that her bf previously dated an 11 year old girl. >She's worried that he secretly wants this girl back. >About a week later, overhear a conversation between my sister and my mother. >"He drugged me and raped me while I was unconscious". >Tryingtoholdbacklaughter.jpg. >Tell my father this. >Laughs uncontrollably. >MFW my dad predicted exactly how his daughter's first relationship would go down.
>Actual turd story inbound: >be me >17 at the time >beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him >pathological fear of logs since middle school, when some bitch slidded on me >have a younger sister, 16 at this time >my sister is log crazy, really wants to eat someone's shit >>announces that she's "seeing someone" >father and I start discussing plans on how to shoot the bastard. >few days later, brings the dude home >tall, scrawny kid with brown hair and skid marks showing through his pants >visibly defecating >my father and I sit down and tell him that he's "walked into the courtroom" >discuss for a few minutes >they go out >dad tells me "she's gonna hate his logs" >sis comes home >announces it was "fun" >around a week later, my sister tells me that her bf previously dated Andy Sixx >she's worried that he secretly wants to get slidded by Andy again >about a week later, overhear a conversation between my sister and my mother >"his logs were neither dreamy nor creamy, and they did not produce steam" >tryingtoholdbacklogs.jpg >tell my father this >poops uncontrollably >mfw my dad predicted exactly how his daughter's first relationship would go down
>red hat this is how we know you're operating from abroad idiot
Carter Ward
Hey Yea Forums, how do you feel about this man and his 13 year old girlfriend? Keep in mind that he's been to jail for flashing his cock at a 97 year old man in a retirement home, and for impregnating a 3 year old girl.