Psychology thread

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As short as I'm able:

I cannot socialize, terribly awkward around anybody new. It prevents me from getting a job/making friends/finding a partner.
Absolutely hate myself and believe everyone hates me too.
Feel like I'm too stupid to reach my goals and I'm worried that I'll fail in anything I try.
I'm only 18, still have college ahead of me but I worry terribly about my future 5/10 years in advance.

>be me 31
>graduated from a college that got shut down due to lack of employment among graduates me included
>tried a few different careers nothing that worked or liked despite giving it my all
>now working as security guard getting ready to join airforce.
>even though I'm tall and pretty decent looking the lack of a career at my age is fucking with my confidence talking to girls

Please help

Appreciate it doc, thanks for your concern.

Also fuck boomers with their grass cutting devices.

Thanks for your time OP, cool that you're doing this.

I think my problem is I have figured out what I want out of life, and it's A) not realistically obtainable and B) Would not be healthy even if I received it.
You asked if there was an event or something that triggered this, and I suppose in retrospect, yeah, there was. Before I quit, I'd been single for 2 years. Only been in 2 relationships, both were long term, serious committed; both ended because the girl I was with wanted kids and I did not. I realized I was 'ready' to be dating again and wanted to not deal with losing another girl when the 'future kids' talk came up, so I spent a weekend pouring over 'no kids;' dating sites. I literally could not even find a girl to message. The kind of girls who dont want kids just seem to not be remotely compatible with the kind of person I am.
Thats when I started going downhill.
I feel like what I want out of life will never be achieved.
But also even if somehow this was achieved, I can't put all of my 'happiness' eggs into the relationship basket, as that is unfair to that person and would almost certainly lead to a ruined relationship.

I mean. yeah, I do clearly have depression, I know that, but... I get it's easy to just say "Its the depression talking" but why the fuck shouldn't I just give up? If life is always going to be this much of a struggle for me for biological reasons, is it not somewhat reasonable to say "living isnt worth it"? Do I *have to* go back to the medication options to have any hope if my problem is biological?

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-ip

What are some typical signs of autism and is it important to get help?

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am i nig

18, male

Everything is going pretty well in my life i guess. The problem is that i lose interest in every girl. Only if they r into me tho. Im always searching for a Problem. As soon as i found one, i cant unsee it.

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Another one:
I cant stop analyzing people. I always behave around them the way i think it would be perfect. Which leads to finding Problems. Everyone of my friends got a sheme.

Thanks for the advice, you have a very soothing voice btw.

>be 26
>married and had a kid at 21
>terrible drug addict
>put kid up for adoption
>instant regret
>divorced
>clean and sober for over a year
>cannot move on/get over ex-wife and daughter
>break down uncontrollably weeping from time to time
>not suicidal, just broken

Tips and tricks for moving on? I thought I was getting better but lately they invade my thoughts constantly and I sometimes can't function.

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Thank you!

Sorry, for the confusion, I guess to be specific, what I want is to spend my life with a girl who is compatible with me and does not want kids.

You asked "Why would I not want kids?"
I think that's part of the problem, I feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with how my brain works. My natural mind set, "Why would anyone want kids?" I'm not concerned that I would be a bad dad; I expect I would be a great father. I just also expect to hate 90% of what being a father entails. I don't see the appeal. It's like you're asking me "Hey, want to chop off your leg?" I mean, if I absolutely had to, I could, sure, but why would I want to? Why would anyone want to? Just at a fundamental, core level, I feel this isn't a thing I want any part of. I loved both of my exes, they would have made great moms, its not an issue of finding the right girl, it's just something I know deep down I have never and will never actually want they way a 'normal' person does.

I used to be a Director of Education for a tutoring center, I have extensive experience being around various types of kids of different ages. I don't hate children at all, I just don't want any of my own. No idea why.

Good to know on avoiding medication.

also lol that noise outside XD

Didn't tag OP, but I don't want to be missed.

I guess some of this was right. The Part about the missing love from the parents was kinda right aswell. How do i "fix" this tho. Im using it everywhere, i search- and always find a problem After a bit of Time. Not only w Girls and friends. Im doing this in every possible way. Im a metal Detector at a gun shop.

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I definitely had lots of problems understanding other peoples emotions and points of view in general when I was younger, I have gotten better at this over time though. As to the part with fictional stories, I occasionaly enjoy fiction, however I much prefer realistic ones. I am uninterested in virtually everything and isolate myself despite wanting at least some social interaction, mostly because I know how likely I am to fuck something up with my complete lack of social skills. I despise physical contact with others that is more than just hands, which often comes across as me being intentionally rude. I used to be very hyperactive, running around a lot, touching things etc, but, again, this has decreased by now. I can't focus on things for very long or write very detailed texts, which hurts my overall grades and chances for the future. My sleeping pattern is virtually non-existent, and when I do manage to kind of get in to one, it only lasts a few days. I eat less than others, which at least contributes to me being extremely underweight for someone my age and height, but when there is food prepared I can eat about 2x what most people could. Rambled a bit, but I hope it helps.

Ignore that, didnt see the second answer. Thank you! Its hard to get a Good answer on my questions. Maybe i'll go and see a therapist again, even tho they suck over here. Appreciated!

> have been depressed for a little while, not anymore (probably due to time heavy weed smoking)
> turning slowly but surely into confident bloomer trough meditation, prayer, healthy lifestyle, excersise and more socializing.
> one issue making me really insecure and anxious is that when i am in public (public transport, gym, meetings) i always think i have to pee, even though i dont have to most of times.
> think it relates to some sort of social anxiety or something..

tips op?

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Thank you for responding. I do see a therapist, but I have had a hard time being strict about attendance. It's just nice to hear another humans voice. I do want to go back to uni for philosophy. I know it's not the most lucrative of careers but that's not what it is about for me at this point. Thank you for the advice on being kind to myself. You hit the nail on the head. I am super hard on myself and I will try to stay busy and be kind. Thank you stranger.

Fuck you, I'm not clicking that link.

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It was helpful, thank you! I really like "reading" people. It just feels weird to see what most people dont see. It sometimes feels like im surrounded by a bad AI. Im literally choosing categories (patterns in the way they behave) for them. The weird thing is that These categories in 99% of the case fit.

Prehaps the weed and depression/insomnia is related? Vicious circle

Sorry i meant to say that i was depressed due to the weed. That is why i have quite the drug for several years now.

No help for this user?

Oh and sorry for spamming, im just too lazy to see a therapist. This is the perfect opportunity to get some questions answered i guess

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Very welcome!

Thanks for the help user, I will try to better communicate my problems with others in the future.

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Sorry, missed it.

Thanks OP. Thought this was the case. Nice to have affirmation. Will try to deal with it!!

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You're awesome for sticking with me and reading all this, I really do appreciate it.

You feeling this is something bigger may very well be true;
trying to figure out why I don't want to be a father right now...
I guess I'm of the opinion that being alive is inherently a bad thing. We are not here with any sort of purpose or reason. Life is really about trying to do everything you can to make it as not miserable as you can. I guess I don't want to be a part of someone else's misery? I think I want a wife because we would help each other. I would lessen her misery, she would lessen mine. I don't have that expectation with a child. I don't see any sort of 'me being less miserable because of them'. As a dad, I would do everything I could to make their life as not miserable as possible, and I'd bet I'd be pretty good at it; but I also expect to get nothing out of that relationship. Why would I want something that is all give and no take? You talk about the joy a child brings you, and I've never felt that; I don't expect to feel it. I can't just 'roll the dice' and hope that if I have kids something will suddenly click and they'll make me happy when that hasn't at all been my personally experience so far.

Given I admit I did not try my hardest to find a girl who doesn't want kids, but I did try
> I spent a weekend pouring over 'no kids;' dating sites. I literally could not even find a girl to message. The kind of girls who dont want kids just seem to not be remotely compatible with the kind of person I am.
>Thats when I started going downhill.
>I feel like what I want out of life will never be achieved.

Thank you for the pep talk. I'm going to keep that in mind moving foward.

Disclaimer: first attempt at green text.

>Began schooling at my house
>Talking to this girl that wants to be with me and that I want to be with her
>Not mentally ready
>Stuck doing the same things everyday
>Schooling, gaming, browsing the internet

Problem is that I can't seem to get myself to do things that I want to do like be with this girl or do other activities such as getting a motorcycle license. I'm always just saying fuck it and doing something else that doesn't require me to do anything. How do I force myself to do the things I want?

How would you diagnose a psychopath or sociopath?

This one really helped. Still surprised how well this worked. Thank you, i'll give it a shot! Id ask more but i Think some anons got worse problems.

Why didn't you pick a major that actually pays?

here you are on Yea Forums, answering quesitons for autists on a weekday.

good job

Hey!
You gave some really decent advice to those before. me so I'll give it a shot.
>male, 21
>inestable family (mother suffers from borderline, grandma is narcissic)
> finished high-school 2 years ago, have since then been working in social projects in Latin America
> Problem : Big procrastinator, lying all the time to myself and others about what I've done and who I am
>hilariously insecure especially when I'm doing things alone outside (walking down a street with people is a big task for me)
Any advice?

>trying to figure out why I don't want to be a father right now...
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hey pal

I am extremely scared of getting old. I dont want to lose my good looks, the ability to fuck cute young girls, the creative aspects of my mind, and that my time on this earth is so limited. I am constantly looking at other people and wondering their age, and comparing myself to them. I see all these people in their 20s who have done great things, like write world changing novels, or direct some of my favorite novels and feel completely inadequate. I have a strong desire to do something similar, make great pieces of art, gain fame, become succesful, ect. And I am currently working towards this goal by trying to create a game. I juggle my desire to succeed with my desire to go live a full interesting life filled with positive experiences. I work constantly trying to succeed, its always on my mind, and It takes a tull on me. I think this constant working, constant stress, leads me to create fantasies of not having all this stress on my shoulders and just going and having some fun in this life. At the end of the day I know both fantasies are in many ways meaningless, success doesnt really matter, and neither does having fun traveling or whatever Im thinking of. The only way I can inbew meaning into my life I feel is to create pieces of art and stuff that I think changes the world in positive ways.
Idk man, i just feel so lost in life.

Also triple A media is super fucked, and its really hard to get money to make anything that actually has even a little bit of creative freedome and self expression.

Not sure if I should leave my girl. I love her, but weve been together since 17(24 now), and I want to experience other women and other things in life.

Have you thought about suicide user? I hear it really is a great alternative.

What?

I have read your post user. I think I can help. The problem is that you're over stimulated. For you I would recommend one hour a day in a sensory deprivation tank for 1 week. After that, suicide by hanging. You will feel much better after.

sorry for my retard spelling and grammar, im on mobile and just woke up

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Ok, i was thinking of going to the psychoanalyst for a long time now, i think i've got a good life, good persons around, medicine student, not money problems and good looking, but i am not happy, i feel like even if i achieve all my dreams i will never be happy and i don't know why, this depression(?) is disturbing my studies and usually i start to drink and smoking a because of that, and then i can't do nothing for the rest of the day(lose the entire day). I don't think i gave you enough info to determine anything, but thanks anyway psychiatric user.

Sup doc,

I’m 5’7 and insecure about my height. I’m on track to be successful and wealthy. Should I get painful leg-lengthening surgery if I feel it will benefit me in the long run? I plan to be at least 5’11

for the past 4 years or so i've struggled with anxiety. this being in the form of struggling to talk to new people with much difficulty, to the point where i only say a few sentences, or sometimes repeat phrases just to get out of a conversation. its a little bit better with family, but still the same problem. some days im able to keep up a semi decent conversation, but others i just cant talk to anyone, all i do is pretend to smile and laugh at the things they say. this inability to communicate with people has cost me relationships, friends, and my own self respect, and recently in the last few months i believe i have developed depression of some kind, because ive seriously been considering taking my own life just to put an end to this constant self doubt and pointless over thinking / anxiety that plagues me everyday.

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>therapist makes 150/h
>"Why didn't you pick a major that pays?"
It pays.

Hi user. I think I might be able to help. I can tell you now that no one hates you, they are probably just put off by your awkwardness, and don't want to try and move past it. Unfortunately, this never goes away, and you will have an awkward life, wishing every day that you killed yourself. So why not just go ahead and move from point a to point b now. Since you may he too stupid to do anything cool, I would recommend the tried and true shotgun to the face. Works every time. Good luck buddy, hang in there, it's almost over.

Forgot to say, the thing that bothers me the most is, i'm really quiet, don't think i'm shy tho, the thing is when i'm alone i'm more extroverted, which i preferred to be instead. And i don't have problems to speak or talk with others, but inside, i don't feel like, i think it is not worthy of energy, which i want to feel the other way around.

Femanon here.

Serious question: since men don't have vaginas, are you empty inside as to where a vagina would go? Could you have some type of surgery to make that empty space like a storage pouch? Seems like alot of possibilities out there considering all the things that come in and out of vaginas.

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I'm sorry, guys, I have to leave right now!

Sorry to all the anons I couldn't respond to. I will be back some time.

You all take care!

didnt really post a question i guess just more of a life update, any tips or tricks would be nice i suppose

Hey user here,

I saw this and just wanted to say that the best way to beatt this self-loathing is to fake it at first. Whether you’re in a public or private setting, you have to start manifesting positive thoughts about yourself in your mind and out loud. Even if its some bullshit that you don’t believe at that point, say or think it anyway. It helps, trust me. No matter how much you may truly think the opposite, faking positivity eventually allows your perspective to change, especially if you work on stopping negative thoughts with positive thoughts. A technique I’ve used is that whenever I start to think something negative about myself or put myself down, I stop, realize that I’m being negative, and replace that thought with a positive thought. I’m high and just rambling really though.

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-4pl

Thanks again OP, I'll have to spend some time pondering on this.

You don't need to respond to this, you've given me more than enough of your time and there are other anons, but as a final comment:

You example was a good one; going to the zoo with 'my family'. That should be something I would get joy from, but it just sounds like work. I feel like that would be an awful time for me. I would be there to make sure my child has fun, I would be getting no fun out of that myself. Making sure they are happy I'm viewing as a job. So I'm leaving my career job to come home to what I'm now viewing as a second job; who would want that?
My mindset is definitely part of the problem here.

What? Medicine student here, not because men don't have vagina, doesn't mean we're empty inside, the genital area have muscles, vases, conducts, filling it. No sex have empty spaces like that, only some recesses, like the space between the lungs, diaphragm and the ribs, which is a very small recess.

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-uxw

Medical student, done OB/GYN rotation.

Large labia has NOTHING to do with number of sexual partners or frequency of sex. Diddly fucking squat. Labia size is determined by birth and puberty. It’s the equivalent of your dick shape.

Frequency of sex will not make the outer vagina look any different. A huge cock may make it gape for like... a few hours, but won’t make the labia bigger.

The only thing that actually changes the size and shape is childbirth, and then it’s usually only after the second - third child.

I saw hundreds of vaginas on rotation, with complete sexual history. There was zero correlation. A woman who’s told us she’s had a hundred partners often had a total “innie” pussy with tiny labia. Lots of girls who had intact hymens had large labia.

Having a shitload of tattoos on the other hand....

So psychopaths aren't inherently evil, just malfunctioning. What about the ones that hurt animals, manipulate people, and are generally machiavellic? I think the malicious ones are much harder to spot.

I'll definately read it. Really felt comfortable listening to what you said.
Any last thoughts on that "people pleases" thing? Another final thing that I forgot (I could imagine that it's connected to my age) is the fact that I experience myself as a mixture of very contraria feelings and thoughts about things and myself that can't stand together but all feel right.

>Thinks $150/hr is allot.

Hang in there kiddo, you'll get there.

Wrong. Im carrying all the stuff i need behind my dick for the Last 18 years now. Maybe u should quit what u r doing rn

>Making sure they are happy I'm viewing as a job
They won't be happy if you aren't. You will be happy if they are.

Kids are unique, you'll be able to make them laugh in ways you can't make adults laugh, because everything is new to kids and they don't think the way adults do. You'll be amazed by the questions kids ask because of that.

Trust me, it will be the sun of your life.

Hi fellow user, u look like 5-6th year of study, i am only at the 1st. The "femanon" looks like she is asking the inside of the vagina, implying since our "inside-out" vagina(penis) is out, we have a big space where our vagina should be, which is a idiotic question.

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sadists, on top being psychos

>kinda isolated myself
>character gets more and more toxic
>start to get mad over nothing
Wtf
I feel like i become a narcissist

What the hell is your job if 150 bucks an hour isn't a lot?

That's because you are a tranny, not a biological man, u are putting inside your vagina, and your strap on isn't a real dick, sorry for the reality check.

Why does this man have a vagina behind his dick???

Med student, continued

The “swelling” of the inner labia during arousal is very slight and is more of a shape/orientation change than a size change, as her clit swells and “tents” the labia with it, though you might see no change at all. It will certainly not change an “innie” to an “outie.”

Repeated bouts of arousal do not make the labia increase size over time. This idea is *dumbasses making shit up.*

I’ve done pediatrics and OB/GYN. The size of labia usually becomes apparent at age 9-10 when the girl hits puberty, but may begin slightly earlier. The size of the labia will not change with onset of sexual activity.

From personal experience, there are ways to tell (not perfect) if she’s “gotten around,” but labia size is not one of them.

>5'1"
>4.5" penis (erect)
>189 lbs
> Ugly face
>Poor social skills
>No talents
>Stupid
> Have difficulty learning and retaining information

This. It's the same idea as if men having lots of sex changed the shape of their cocks, lel.

Incels are teh stoopit.

I've always none labia size had 0 coorelation with sexual activity, but you have me curiou. Elaborate on this?:

>there are ways to tell (not perfect) if she’s “gotten around

Such as?

Like, there is arrows pointing what is what, put the background white and u will see it better, i don't know if ever saw a vagina in front of you, but this is not, it actually is a anus, careful playing with your "men vagina".

Thanks for the unofficial diagnosis. I hadn't considered sadism, I've got more googling to do.

>They won't be happy if you aren't. You will be happy if they are.

I'd like to hope this is true, but from what I've experienced it isn't; and its a huge fucking risk to have a kid and just HOPE this ends up being true >_>

My problem is that I'll never be happy

>be me
>early-twenties still studying
>Still in a relationship with my first gf
>still a great match and still love her
>fear of missing out on dating with others, but can’t make myself break up with her because of this
>keep flirting with other girls and almost cheat

What to do shrink user? Should I just cheat for the sake of it and keep going? If I break up with her I would make her really sad, as she wouldn’t see it coming. On the other hand I feel like I’m a jerk that I just want to be with other women even though my relationship is fine.

Interestingly, you can be a sadist without being a psychopath. I get joy from inflicting pain on others but only if they are masochists and also enjoy it because otherwise I feel bad from empathy and it completely ruins any joy I would have gotten.

BOI PUSY

Your relationship is not fine if you want to be with other women. Your current gf is not sexually compatible enough with you. If she was, you wouldn't want to cheat on her.

If you actually love her, sit down and have a serious talk about how you aren't feeling sexually fulfilled for whatever reason.
If this is not the issue, and you do think you're sexual relationship with her is good, and you are considering cheating anyway; then your other comment is wrong, and she is obviously not a great match for you.

tldr; don't cheat. Either talk to current gf about fixing current sexual issues or break up with her.

Find a kid who's awesome, niece, nephew, neighbour's kid, spend time playing with them. Experience the awesomeness that is being with kids. You'll just know.

>playing lego with your kids
>meaning of life renewed
I'm not even kidding. Building a giant tower with my kid is the best thing I've done this year.

>pride as the tower becomes taller than even me
>kid is ecstatic
>says I'm the best dad ever
>struggle to hold back tears
Oh man...

That's my problem doc, I feel no remorse for physical or emotional abuse. I am 28 now but during my childhood I would torture cats in a variety of methods. To this day I find cats disgusting.

Not Psychiatric user. He is gone.
Now, u actually are a jerk for wanting to cheat while in a good relationship, in my opinion it's better to break up while it will hurt her than cheat her and then she find out what u are doing. Meanwhile it's quite common having thoughts for different women, it is not having desires, just thinking someone is gorgeous is not cheating, but trying to have a physical with other females is, at least imo.

Can I cure my autism?

And its thing like this that make me think I'm just a fucking broken human. Something is fundamentally wrong with me. I've done things like this; it always just feels like a job to me. Per your example, I'd do my best to make sure the kid is happy, and I'd put on a smile; but really I'm just waiting for this to be over. I wouldn't hate it, but it definitely isn't making me happy.

See:

>You talk about the joy a child brings you, and I've never felt that; I don't expect to feel it.

>I feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with how my brain works. My natural mind set, "Why would anyone want kids?"
>I used to be a Director of Education for a tutoring center, I have extensive experience being around various types of kids of different ages. I don't hate children at all, I just don't want any of my own. No idea why

Psychiatric user is gone. As far as i know, for being a medicine student, diagnosed autism, is a anomaly in the genes, so there is no cure, but with the help of a psychiatric, you can control and minimize the effects. And since you are asking and writing, you may be a minimal autistic(functional), not a total autistic (totally affected).

Other user here, i think since u worked with kids around u, u probably burnt out with kids, and probably had bad parents or bad childhood experience. It's the only way i think someone wouldn't want to had kids. I want because my parents are greats and had a good childhood. I don't like other kids, like you, i don't see what is special in nothing i see, my family's babies, i actually get bored and stressed taking care of them, but i really want my own, playing the videogames that i played when i was little, the toys, the cartoons, animes, shows i watched.... i think it can be awesome, and pretty worthy.

That's always what I hear from my friends when we talk about this:

>i really want my own, playing the videogames that i played when i was little, the toys, the cartoons, animes, shows i watched

I don't see the appeal in this. Like, I 'get it' on a basic level, hey they're enjoying something you enjoyed and that's 'good'; it just doesn't sound appealing to me.
I just feel so "Ok whatever" by the whole thing. There is no joy there for me.

Yeah, to be fair my childhood wasn't great, my parents got divorced, but there are tons of people I know with divorced parents who don't think this way, I really don't think that's it. I saw functional families as I was growing up, thats not like a crazy foreign concept to me.
And I've known I don't want kids since I was like 18; so I don't think its an issue of being burned out. I've given it serious thought many many times since then and my opinion has not changed at all. With the kind of person I am it just seems super not enjoyable. Whatever part of my brain that's suppose to 'be excited' to play games I like with my child just isn't.

Yeah, if u feel this way, i guess it's better u not having kids, but give some time and though for what u feel like it's better for you.