2004 to 2019. Fml! How do I get a divorce without losing all my money

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Op
Here it was good once

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Yup.feed her sticks of butter and cum in her sister

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This is fckin sad, y'all.

this one is cute...

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show her this one

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My brother married in December and his wife has probably gained about 50lbs already.

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look at that cunt.

looking like a slut is more important than her god damn kids.

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I wouldn’t even be mad boy she THICCC

>Cheaper to keep her i'm afraid.

The cost of paying her alimony or paying that food bill every month is probably going to be the same.

Of course. Can always ditch the kids with the daddy and shack up with a new dude if you're looking that fit.

A flimsy contractual agreement that can be dismissed by a judge for any number of reasons, such as the following:

1. The judge thinks it is unfair (yes, i'm not actually kidding)
2. Wife claims she doesn't understand it or didn't know what she was signing
3. Wife claims she was forced to sign it under duress (aka no signing no marriage sort of thing, aka most prenups)

Any divorce lawyer worth his weight is going to try and get a prenup thrown out and the only way to avoid 2 and 3 is to video record her declaring that she understands exactly what she is signing and lawyers present in the video to verify the integrity of the signing. Even then the judge can still decide to arbitrarily throw out the prenup.

Remember, the courts are in it for themselves. Prenups mean less division of assets and less time in court. Less division of assets and less time in courts means less payout for the judge and the lawyers.

Just don't get married.

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are you jealous?

she's wife material 100%

Such massive gain in weight should lead to an automatic divorce where the landwhale gets nothing out of it.

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>THICC

I don't think this means what you think this means...

Oh yeah, and kids. Kids change everything.

Even if you include kids in the prenup, it is meaningless and any judge will dismiss it outright.

your brother must be a great cook.

>Your doing it wrong!
8/10 Gym-Scorpion though

this

there are no "just a little fat" 20 yo women, they are actually fattening and keep follwing this path...

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How is not being a disgusting hamplanet not looking after her kids? They're probably eating healthier than 98% of American kids.

>be 28
>going to a restaurant
>ordering a pizza pie
>i said no ansjovis wtf
>girl says sorry i say is ok
>eat pizza pie while lying
>go outside wait till restaurant closes
>walk up to girl call her a bitch
>yelling I SAID NO ANSJOVIS CUNT
>punch her repeatedly in the left eye
>shit stars bleeding she yells "whyyyy whyyyyy"
>take her head and place it above my cock
>let blood pour on cock
>shove it in her mouth NOW SUCK IT
>manager comes out yells WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
>grab my pistol and blast him twice
>then blast girl in skull with my cock inside her mouth
>let blood pour all over my cock
>feels good man
>escape and go home
>masturbate with her blood still on my cock

haha edge

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She needs to kill herself

How much money do you actually have?

Develop a "gambling addiction". Take a secret trip to some Macao/Monaco/whatever for "work". Buy a ton of chips and thern "lose" them gambling. Actually, convert them back to cash and stash somewhere. Even remortage the house if you need, get that equity out before you have to split it. "Lose" it all.

Divorce the piggy, she'll go after you cash. Surprise, bitch, we're 300k in the hole, ain't no cash here, go snuffle under some other dude's wallet, Oink Oink.

Diabetes

Bonus points if OP says oink oink

Absolutely horrifying and disgusting.

you're obviously not providing what your wife needs so she's turned to stuffing herself instead

Yep, cultivate a feeder fetish, get her the beetus, then one day, don't give her the right treatment for an episode.
Bonus, you're now a grieving widow, women's panties will be dripping at the sound of that.
Beware though, some will be smart enough to realize you are now rich: prime of financial life and no wife to support.

They lived together for like 2 years before they married. She is literally like that meme with the wife saying "now I can get fat". I dont know how you can gain that much weight in just 3-4 months

At least it happened before she got the kid-lock on him, and they've been married for short enough that she probably won't get 50% just 'cos.

How fucking hard is it to stop shoving food in your face?

Keep feeding her bad habbits until she dies of cardiac arrest or some diabetes shit

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Should have gave her shit when she started getting fat. Now with 150 overweight, its too late. Gotta wait till she dies or lose half your shit

You don't get it, it's not her fault! She's got a condishun that makes her apparate fat out of thin air like a lipid-based Dumbledore. #butmuhthyroid

I know a guy whose wife threatened to leave him. She was a stay at home mo. (Fidnt know shut about finances or how to handle assets or anything like that). This guy told her he'd get every last penny out of all their assets and go live in the fucking woods and completely disappear leaving her with nothing and no skills or anything to make money. He told her she'd be ducking dicks for quarters by them time her was through with her. This was back in the day, the guy us like 75 now and his wife stayed with him and his mother in law (who is like 95, first old broad I saw trying to break up concrete steps with a sledge hammer) was the one that told me this story.

#KillFatBitches

First off, lol, nice.
Second, sounds like a loving home for the last 50 years of their lives together. Or did she buck the fuck up and get back in her lane?

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Can you kill yourself faggot?

What's even the payoff for this spam?

Not much but I don’t want to be so
Poor that I live around coloreds

Giving all of us fucking cancer, that's what

Right but if you're losing half of 10k savings, it's just not worth it. 5k for a clean break is nothing.
If it's millions, and you earned it yourself, it's better to take a 5-20% haircut on hiding it somewhere and blame drugs/gambling/being scammed/whatever.
In fact, even if she earned if, if you can still extract the cash, you can afford a much higher percentage. Think of it as payment for the years of your life wasted, or as a way for her to pay for you needs to spend $$$ on a new partner.

keep feeding her until she goes into a diabetic coma or a heart attack

"whoops, gave her the wrong syringe"

im
Going to keep doing ass to mouth tell she gets a virus

what did her Mom look like?

If her Mom was fat, this is on you Clown.

nudes

Just the potential of getting laid by a random is better than giving yourself over to a fatty for life. I'll stay single

Or burn everything to the ground in the messiest divorce you can pull off. You're a dude, you can pull off a comeback.
She'll be a fat past-it woman struggling to even find a drug dealer willing to pay for her insulin in exchange for pimping her out to black men (the only people who want a fat white chick).

Like you have the choice.

That hurts. She was actually good looking. Sorry bud

She was good looking, but she's got that all-over layer of fat that just thickens and thickens. You can see it at the top of her dress and in the armpit crease.
She was always a fat time-bomb.

get her super drunk on your next game of thrones booze cruise and convince her to jump over the railing into the ocean and reunite with the other whales

Why are you posting this in literally every thread? Atleast make it one of the good pastas

I do. I'm lot gonna lie and say they have all been 10's but goddamn it I accept I am the master of my own fate.

Any girl who wears that style of wedding dress is guaranteed to be a whale soon.

So damn sad, that rat neelix wouldnt even fuck her now

why not just start going to the gym with her?

This. If she won't go then you're improving yourself and can find a workout buddy to fuck
Whether it's a girl or not that's your choice

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It'll only work if she actually loves him and wants to change.
If there's even a shadow of doubt that she cares enough, she won't lose weight. Then you know for sure the marriage is pointless and you can burn it down with a clear conscience.
Plus, it gives you time to get your shit in order in case you find a 10/10 gym bunny qt 3.14 and want to cut and run.

The second we suggest going to the gym they immediately assume the worst. ,"is he not attracted to me?" Or my personal al fav "he should love me for me"

No bitch if we wanted a chubby we would have married one at the start. I'm not saying we arnt all doomed to age and gain weight but I firmly believe we have a responsibility to our partner and more importantly to ourselves to at least maintain.

How do their arms get so fat and flabby? Makes me want to be gay m8.

>Cheaper to keep her i'm afraid.
This. Got divorced after 17 years. Made out like I was broke. Lived homeless for a few years. Now I'm back on point. Hide your assets broski
Or be Tyrone. Sheeeeiiittt

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Gym makes fuck all difference to weight (still go tho): if you're not TIGHTLY controlling food intake, she'll overcompensate by eating more and it's just get worse.
Sit her down, say you're worried about her and you want to help her. Make a plan. Stick to the damn plan. Write down everything she eats. Everything.
If she doesn't lose it, at least you got ripped and can slay some 20yo pussy.

1) Were you?
2) What happened to her?

>"is he not attracted to me?"
No, we aren't. Now step your game up or we're gonna fuck a girl that looks like you did when we put that ring on your finger.

All this gym shit is dumb.

>JUST
>EAT
>LESS

thatsit.jpg

This. Great follow up

There's two ways to increase the caloric deficit
1. Eat less
2. Burn more
Gym does #2, yes you will still need to do #1 but increasing strength/endurance and cultivating a healthy lifestyle isn't a bad thing

yuh

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No one pointed out the guy looks exactly the same. Put the suite on him and it would look like he discovered time travel

Sure, but even a 2 hour daily gym session is, what, 1000 calories? 1200? She can wipe that shit out in seconds by troughing down a pizza and shake as a "reward". And if she's not invested in the weight loss, you know she will be.
Plus, as you exercise, the basal metabolism burns less to compensate, so you're not burning 1000 calories that would have been turned to fat, you're burning (say) 500, and the other 500 comes from base metabolic load, which you would have burned anyway.
Exercise is good (obviously) for fitness, strength and tone, but it's dogshit for weight loss. It's all about the eating for the weight loss.

Well, he can't put weight on, as she'll eat it before he gets to it.

If in the USA it depends on the state where you got married. Generally you're gonna get fucked in the ass paying some bitch to fuck other guys while living out of a car.

Well he was a alcoholic at the time and ges been sober for 30 years now and I think that was the source of the problem tbh but I still like the story of a man not taking shit

And a woman who knows when to close her noisehole and sit the fuck back down.

Maybe in the us

In some jurisdictions even if the bitch had kids with another guy and you're married to her then you're still liable to take care of and pay for them.

At that point, it's a one-way ticket to Thailand with 100k stuffed into your anus.

disgusting

Yeah that or Brasil, they have some decent laws about that there.

It's probably more like 700 unless you're strictly doing cardio

I took up riding my bike for transportation. I figured itd be a way to force myself to get a certain amount of cardio. Like if I'm at work with my bike I'm obviously going to have to bike back even if I dont want to. It was 15km each way. I lost like 40lbs in 3 months and didnt change eating habits at all. I stopped when winter came and gained it all back...

That's true. Even female praying mantis sometimes eat their mates

>Sure, but even a 2 hour daily gym session is, what, 1000 calories? 1200? She can wipe that shit out in seconds by troughing down a pizza and shake as a "reward". And if she's not invested in the weight loss, you know she will be.
Solid point.
"I've been working hard, I earned this!"
What, a setback?

>It's probably more like 700
Exactly, I was going for the highball.

>didnt change eating habits at all.
This is why it worked. And this is why you get fatties unable to lose weight, cos they don't get that you cannot reward yourself with a faceful of food.
And you know they'll keep the higher intake even if they don't go to the gym, because it's the new normal.

Fucking fatass

Are you blind??? Could you not see that she was a pig and it would only get worse??

>What, a setback?
Followed by crying about "it's just my genetics, I can't help it" and giving up.
No, bitch, it's your fat mouth hoovering junk food like a fucking KFC-seeking Kirby.

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>Genetics

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Is he just feeding her mayonnaise straight out of the fucking jar?! Holy shit.

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>cant reward yourself with a face full of food

Lol so true. I had a gf that was gaining weight. I convinced her to come to the gym with me and she refused to get sweaty because she "didnt want to get buff/muscular" as if it happens overnight. Anyway I remember after our second workout together she got dairy queen and said "she earned it"
>mfw

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>Low fat
Hey, we reduced the fat by 30%, but we made up for the shit taste with a fuckload more sugar.
Fatty: Now I can eat double portions.
Spoiler: the original portion was 3 times the nominal portion.

It's definitely worse in the US but is still common elsewhere.

Basically anywhere in the anglo-sphere, prenups aren't worth the paper they are printed on unless you do it in some very specific ways. Even then you're rolling the dice on the judge.

More like MSG and salt.

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Ugh, my wife says that.
Sometimes she points out women with muscular legs and says "who likes that?". I'm like "I would plow you six ways to sunday if you were that buff".
Never mind that you have do some serious fucking work to get muscles to a point that you can notice them if you're a 3rd party. Plus 1kg of muscle is a LOT smaller than the same kg of fat.

Always look at the arms, people.

Never will be stupid enough to fall for the marriage meme but if I was in your situation OP I would just sell all my assets for bitcoin, memorize the 12 word seed and move to a country without an extradition treaty. Would also take out joint name loans as well as a parting gift. Would then live life to the full promising myself to live with no regrets knowing that I got a second chance.

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Makes me think of Michelle Trachenburg, she really blew up.

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Fuck bitcoin in some 3rd world shithole, have some luck extracting that money without a 1st world bank backing it.

Protip: if you would fuck her, look for porn of Mandy Main. She then got really fat too and goes by Candy Rosen.

>who likes that

I'm not into the muscular shit either but that woman was probably lifting weights hard for years to reach that. And to add to that, if getting that buff was as easy as they seem to think, what's their excuse for being fat? Or do they know it's not easy and just use it as an excuse?

She wasn't even muscly. Just lean and toned, with quite big thighs.
Don't know why girls would rather be fat, literally no-one who's not mentally ill likes that.
My wife swims and cycles, so she's not a hopeless case, it's just a weird attitude to have.

God damn that is sad. Would still fuck tho

Ya. She was probably just jealous and wanted assurance from you that you didnt find her hard work attractive

Imagine the farting sounds as air was pushed in and out of her sweaty fatty folds. With the occasional woff of pungent moist air from her sloppy fat-girl vagina. MMMM

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Rom Howard: He did find it attractive

and the dog is a fat shit too, lol

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I can't help wondering how many oreos she can hide in those folds.

A lot of states have some kind of "no fault" thing. Something about how if your spouse is cheating on you, you owe them nothing.

Idk. Get some nigger to hit Jabba the Slut up. Niggers love fatties.

That dog.

"If only you knew how bad things really are"

That's the opposite of "no fault", you mong. No fault is where you *don't* have to cheat to get a divorce.

A fault divorce would be ideal as long as it's the fat girl's fault, then OP might get a better deal.

FYI, all states have no fault divorce now.

100% would rather fuck right.

Disgusting

Men marry hoping things will stay the same and women marry hoping things will change.

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Bro...look at the first picture. You can tell that this one will be full of self esteem issues she addresses with food and self loathing. Unfortunately society will have you paying to help out the weaker sex. Dont do kids.

underrated post

So a self-hating white whore marries a shitskin and you're surprised she got fat? Have you never seen the white chicks who fuck niggers before?

Why do you give a fuck what other dude find attractive. Seems serendipitous if a guy wants to fuck a girl you don't like as it means less competition for you.

How did she blow up like that? Does she eat professionally?

No skinny at 64

Kids

Lol, so what? She eats kids? Plenty of women have kids and don't end up seat-belt extender obese like that...

The moral of this story is DO NOT GET MARRIED!! I wished I would have listened to the people around me when they said "don't get married" My wife did not fat or anything it just sucks being married. Can't afford to get divorced now I'm in way to deep. Life can really be some bullshit.

True fucking statement!

Sigh...actual lawyer here. The prenups done by our office are always enforceable. We require both parties to be represented by an attorney and include a provision that acknowledges understanding on both sides.

No judge has thrown one out.

>That 2012 pic: she still got pregnant.

Pics.

Take her to a slaughter house and sell her by the pound.

You take her on a trip and throw her off a cliff and call it an accident.

Yeah my wife and I promised each other we would not let that happen to us. It hasn't.

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how'd you let that happen?

Myself even with paying a shit ton of child support I still have way more money now that I am single because my expenses are way down.

Everything from my rent to my food costs are about half of what they used to be not to mention that I don't have her wasting every penny I make on useless crap all the time.

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This. Chubby Michelle is fucking hot!

She got fuckin hot, what's your problem

This. Order her fat ass a pizza every night and bring her home a box of chocolates every day while you stay fit and healthy. Get her hooked on the shit until she eats herself to death.

What really pisses me off about the US is when I go to Walmart to pick up some sweatpants for the gym and they don't stock any sizes smaller then an XXXL

Your doing gods work user. Too bad most guys don't know they need quality representation.

Looks like somebody got hooked on the Bubblin' Cheese and the Pepperoni Sweet Drinks.

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>there are no "just a little fat" 20 yo women, they are actually fattening and keep follwing this path..

This. If your girl is a little chubby when you meet her or starts getting a little chubby then it's not that she isn't going to get fat, you just met her at the beginning of her getting fat stage.

So much truth in this picture. Women want to tear everything down so they look better by comparison. While men aspire to build themselves up.

Are you telling me not to get married?

Dude this is fucking edited look at her damn arms, i just googled this to jerk bc I like fatties. She is totally normal in the original

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I bet she doesn't have an own income

dump her body in a canal

She's still a mess, fuck she used to be a god damn smokeshow. Now her name should be "Chunk' or "Blump".

Right side looks like fatter Amy Schumer makes me want to vomit.

how is it so simple yet lawyers are still messing them up?

Let me tell you something, friend. How you act is how she acts. If you don't work out, why should she? Men getting skinny and non muscular is the equivalent of women putting on weight. It's called preemptive measures. If you were to maintain a healthy lifestyle, both go to the gym, and eat right, you would both be at your prime and both be fit.

Instead, how can you just go to work, come back, sit on your couch and complain that she got fat? Lead by example. You make your bed, you lie in that bed.

so why did you get married. and what exactly don't you like about it now