Alright, fuck it. I am losing my mind one day at a time...

alright, fuck it. I am losing my mind one day at a time. I smoke daily except on good days where i am too distracted to need to. I sit in my room watching and playing shit I don't even care about half the time, and i wonder why I am depressed? but what else can i do, no one seems to want to hang out with me. I just want a fucking hug man, that or a bullet.

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Sounds like me yesterday except it wasn't one of my depressing days and I do have people to hang out with. Most of the people I know all started with knowing just one person. It just happens. But in your case you might not interact with people in an environment like that enough. Do you have a job? If not is there a reason? That's how I met that one person I mentioned. I can make a fucking friend tree from there.

you make a fair point. can't win if you don't play. thanks user, for whatever it's worth.

Could you answer me though? I'm just curious because I've been in this spot and worse before. Just recently got my own place and everything. Honestly took me just seeing a psychiatrist and starting on meds, but I had to be in a safe environment so I got committed. But that's different, idk if you wanna do that. But depression can be a huge barrier in the way.

You don't have to win or really play the game, just be active for yourself and live for yourself. The only game is a job but that's the easy part honestly.

I'd hug you if I could

i appreciate it, man. I tried all kinds of meds and talking to therapists. I have no official job, this depression is genetic, as is the aggression i feel towards the world at times. idk man i really don't. add me on discord if you got one distantanion #3102

i saw this post a while ago. get a gym license get up at 6 everyday and get shit inline, will make you feel so much better

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i exercise at home everyday. it only makes this shit worse, as i get more sure of ms, it becomes more likely that i'll do all this shit i've somehow held back on for so long. but ty for the advice, i do appreciate your effort.

Dude. Get a hobby. Any hobby. Search social clubs in your area and pick one, if you don’t really have any real interests. Go along and just be honest, explain that you need to make some friends. Most people aren’t demons if you make an effort and have something in common.
Alternately, go to a polytechnic or something similar. Just be honest with people. Tell them you don’t really have any friends and ask to hang with them.

you and I used to be in the same shoes. I consider myself an introspective person that is willing to change when I see something is working, so you have to be to if this is you.

I read this thing on /fit/ about being a negative person. Like someone that emits a negative aura, always upset, looking for people to lean on and solve his problems.

What the dude said was,

noone wants to hang around the sad, depressed, edgy dude.

period.

Nobody wants to be around someone that makes them not feel good. I saw myself in that description and sat and thought about how I should change and what about me is negative.

I changed my outlook to mostly positive, unregretful, etc.

I found that people wanted to be around me more.

Hope that helps.

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youtube.com/watch?v=NX2ep5fCJZ8&list=PLlmZTCX3nuy4txybF-wdU0NwEY3uEWvCk&index=30&t=0s
give this a watch though, undertake responsibility and uphold it