ITT: we work at a grocery store

My bad brew, slide on through, for some reason grocery isles are only wide enough for 2 lines of holocaust victims.

Yo, bitch you best be pickin that up in my store.

i'm calling 911

I'm taking my lunch break. Btw the truck from the DC is here and you're the only one that can unload it.

Andrew i want you to check the refill in the postcards panel, mother's day is approaching fast and i don't want us to get caught empty paneled...

And tell Jaimie there's a turd lying around near frozen's, probably a fucking dog i'm gonna need to have a word with security team.

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Watch my shift while I go out back to jack it, sweet

New Health and Safety policy means we now need 2 people to unload cages safely. He will have to stay on Bay until second person arrives to help.

Fuck it! That fucking homeless asshole is here again and he stinks like shit. I am not selling him anymore beer.

>Zach tipped over another milk pallet

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I fucking hate these customers

Gib me bir!

Allright, i'll help this faggot.

do something about it

Someone call fucking security!

Fuck Ive forgotten my steal toe cap boots so I cant do it.

EXCUSE ME THE SELF CHECKOUT IS ACTING UP AGAIN

Has Karen fucked off yet? She's just tried to pass of her dodgy end of shift till count on me again. If you see her tell her I'm going to rape her husband if she keeps this bullshit up. She needs to learn how to fucking replace till rolls too. It's not fucking hard.

I REMOVED THE ITEM FROM THE BAGGING AREA WTF???

Everytime I go to work I want to fucking kill myself.

>Security check in section green

ps there are no security checks, it's all a big lie

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>whips dick out
how do you wanna do this bud?

is it pathetic that I dream of working a job where nobody knows my name at an american grocery store

Pffffffffft brrrrrrrrgb fafafafa

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not pathetic, you'll just be very out of place being the only employee who is actually happy

What do you mean that this is $2.00? The price in the add said 99 cents...I want my money back. Get me the manager

*self-checks out bulge*
OwO
I brought my own bag

Andrew, when you finish that, you need to go shake up the salad dressings. Customers don’t like to see the product separated in the bottles like that. Thanks, guy.

Supermarket people don't seem introvert here at all.

In IRL I'm a cashier

"If it doesn't ring up that must mean it's free, right?"

Pffffttwwaaaa ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my fucking God oh my fucking God that's the funniest fucking thing I've heard all day I'm fucking dying hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my God is that original? Did you just make that up? Hahaha, oh God, you should do stand up pfft hahaha.

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Excuse me sir! This product is out of date! I demand to get it for free! I deserve it since I've shopped here for years and know the owner.

How come you charged me a different price than what the ad said?

taxes

*loud scratch noise from shop's reception's microphone*

*TAP TAP TAP*

*erm...*

*NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGEEEEEEEEEEEER*

hey you cant play on that thing carl

You're discriminating against me because I am gay. I am going to sue! You will lose your job. You just wait and see! And don't you dare misgender me again! You call me "ma'am"!

It's our policy to wing the price if there is no price tag

And it looks like that'll be $3.50 Ma'am

>tfw your truck doesn't show up until 7 hours in to your shift

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discriminating? you're being a nigger

FUCK you saw me?

It's always empty i so wanted to do that.

Don't fucking tell Andrew please he's gonna snitch on me, he hates me so much.

>"If it doesn't ring up that must mean it's free, right?"
That's right! Hey I don't see a price on your sexy teenage daughter. So she's free right?

ok if you suck my dick cheese i'll give you the rest of the day off

I sexually identify as white pregnant woman and my gender presentation is that of a black male gangbanger! How dare you misgender me! This is transphobia! I will sue!

Do you even know how dangerous out of date products are? I want to see your manager.

Cleanup in isle three, some fucker has shit on the floor - again

You can borrow my AR15 if you really hate them

how about I give you 8 chicken thighs free of charge? will you shut the fuck up?

ALERT, NIGGERS ON AISLE 8, ALERT!

Arnold, you're fired! This is the last time you insult a customer. So just pack up your shit and go. We will send you your last paycheck!

Allright you can tell Andrew.

12 chicken wings and I'll go

Oh it's out of date? Well then it's store policy to take out of date things to salvage. We wouldn't want any of the customers to feel ill now, wouldn't we?

Andrew cant know this he'll tell Pam

Hell yeah, don't go work next week ;)

WHAT?! YOU THROW AWAY FOOD? I'M GOING TO TELL THE NEWS!!

WHERE THE FUCK IS SECURITY! I called them four fucking times on that homeless asshole!

You cant get that much over the misuse of pronouns, did I touch your hormonal breast? no! Transgenders only get 8 over here

MANAAAAAGEEEEER!?>!!?!>!>

No ma'am we don't throw away the food.

what asshole?

>big black woman with stroller enters store
>no child in stroller

long story short she left in handcuffs

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its MISS asshole to you, punk ass kid.
why are there no more nestle vegan biscuits, i demand to speak with your supplier!

Carl can you get the manager? We have a problem at the checkout lanes

SECURITYYYYYY
there are NIGGERS here

I got a nestle biscuit for you right here

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Heeeey Andrew what's up today? did you hear that N word in the mic? Im so shocked.

Seth's did it. I'm telling you because after i caught him he told me he'd accuse me instead if i don't smell his finger.

I mean he's a funny guy but he obviously hate me.

Will you two quit slacking off in the fucking break room? I am trying to watch Springer. Get back to fucking work.

thank you kind sir, exactly the taste i was looking for. see you tomorrow - when i will be back to annoy you with retarded questions about the optimal way of eating bread.

I fucking hate all the fucking customers...I hate the management and all my fucking co-workers...oh fuck is that fucking mic on?

how much for these two?

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you haven't discovered the epitome of eating bread, sticking it up your who-ha doesn't count

That'll be $3.05

sounds sub-optimal to me. thanks for the kind remark, but i'll be leaving now. still have to pick up the kids from my divorcee.

bro, gonna take a break real quick.
Could you watch my part while im gone?

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>be me
>be in checkout line
>normal female cashier
>level 4 tard male bagger
>he is being rough, smashing the bread, putting things together that shouldnt (like eggs and cans of food) into bags.
>obviously having a bad day
>I say nothing because oh well.
>cashier notices and and starts reprimanding him to 'be more careful bagging customer groceries user, weve talked about this'
>this only makes him angrier.
>look at the cashier lean in and whisper, "dont worry about it, he is probably just feeling a little bit down today".

Hfw

And yes he heard it, but he is a retard so i dont think he understood.

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Yeah sure, have a good one *wink wink*

"can i speak to the manger? the cart pusher in the parking lot just scraped the side of my car."

How much for this?

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wait so if i'm taking only one of these bad boys i'd have to pay $1.525? how the fuck do i do that?

you’re all fucking crazy; I’m just gonna hide in the stockroom until my shift is over

It wasn't a child sir.

Taxes are a bitch, but it's $1.50 per bottle if you're wondering

Tree fiddy fi darrar

eww she didn't wipe

I'm taking a smoke break, fuck this shit.

Guys, i need to a manager, my coupons are just fine!

Take your time

Fuck off

hi I need helping finding something can anyone please help me?

Can someone help me find my mommy?

Sure pumpkin please follow me to the customer service place and we’ll make an announcement, what’s her name?

Her name is mommy

she said to meet out at my van
lets go

No no no follow me instead, i'll bring you into the rest room where i can give you some candies and maybe a toy to play with... you'd prefer that instead?

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Erm... what about your name? First and last?

Angus ludicrous

Cleanup at aisle 6, some homeless guy threw up on the ground

Ahhh...Okay baby.... hold on then.. *on PA* would the mother of Angus ludicrous please come by customer service, your child is here waiting to be picked up, thanks !

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you got any pot?

Uhh..like the kitchenware?... should be isle 5

I called security eight fucking times on that fucking guy. Where the fuck is security!

sour diesel right?

I don’t know what that means ;-;

heres your mom bitch

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Did you hear about Mary, she's been coming in drunk. I think she's been having sex with Ronald too. How is she the manager even I could do a better job than her.

I thought she was dating Kyle ._. I’m so lost now

I actually had to work in a grocery store before, and it was absolutely shit.

This thread is for manlets and homosexuals.

Fuck off faggot, we don't have Sour diesel anymore.