Yea Forums, I need some serious family advice. I'm in a no-win situation. (TL;DR provided below)

if you paid for your whole family's insurance, you'd still save 200k :)

Move to a country with free healthcare

Does your sister accept your money?

How old is she? Is she going to have children?

Are you in the USA? Why no insurance? It’s not great insurance but you’d be paying out a lot less than you’re going to have to.

Your choices are to help her out, or cut all ties with your family.

Obviously. That's another part I can't stand about her. She has always been verys narcissistic and a huge extorionist.

Quick example: When I was younger and my dad prepared something special for dinner (we were poor) like salmon or something she would always load her platter and gulp down on everything, leaving almost nothing for the rest of us.

Or if she borrowed something from me, broke it, gave it back to me and said "it was already like that when you gave it to me? don't believe me? prove it! it's not mine so it's, not my problem.

shit like that, just typing it makes my blood boil again. now i'm just fucking ranting. my does my family put me in a fucking situation like that, i was always the one holding the family together, FUCK

Don't pay it. Distance yourself from your family. Estrange them, even. Your life and dreams > your sister's and family's. It's really that simple. The guilt will pass, if you feel any at all.

>savings at age 35
>What the fuck am I supposed to do?
Live your own life. Your stupid sister should have saved her own money.

Don't pay dude, nobody can make you and your financial security (and possibly your kids) is more important. With that money you can build your way forward in life and not stay poor forever. Your sister sounds super entitled and probably won't even be thankful.

Tell them your money is in us treasury bonds and theres no way to have access to it

And now you've learned lesson 1 about money: don't ever tell anyone how much you have

Take your money a d move away. Ghost them all.

You’re a fucking retard. Don’t pay.

If you’re in the USA, breast cancer qualifies you for state Medicaid. They will pay everything 100%. Look it up.

Fill out the low income forms + state Medicaid application. Not only will she get Medicaid but your parents/family will be paid by social security to take care of her, regardless of your situation since it’s based off her income.

If you’re elsewhere... that sucks lol.

I have thought about that as well, put the money into something were I don't have access to it for multiple years but the thought also disgusts me a little because signing those contracts is equivalent to signing my sisters live away...
My parents know I'm financially off well, but don't know how it's invested.

Don't pay. If your family does not forgive you, then they are not worthy enough to be in your life and you should ghost them.

Hey OP, first off I'd like to congratulate you on your savings. I'm 22 and despite having worked for the past 3 or 4 years I only have 5k saved up.
As for your sister, you do not have to pay for it. This is your money and if she made your life hell, why should you help her out? Ask yourself, would she spend all her savings for surgery for you? The answer should be the same as the answer to your question. If I was in your situation, I would remind everyone of how much of a fucking cunt she was and that I don't owe her anything. And maybe offer to loan the money but I'd want to be reimbursed.

This. Even if you have to go through state insurance or some shit then you can pay like $500/month for good insurance. Your family is full of shit and probably lying to you. I’d request all of her health records as well.

Let the gubment and Obama take care of her

There is no confirmation she even HAS cancer. If she told family but has no paperwork from a legit doctor (research any she does give under 'second opinion' excuse) she's scamming. If she is this bad, she could be lying to exploit family pressure to use you. Watch her make a "miraculous recovery" when you say you won't help.

Dont fucking help her op, you will ruin your life and regret it UNTIL YOU DIE hell you might even kill yourself. People are inherently self serving and your sister sounds like the worst time, i say just cut your losses and disown the rest of your family now, tell them "have fun going into debt and ruining your own lives for that selfish bitch"

Thanks, man. I only care about my family, meaning my parents, younger brother and other close relatives. I wouldn't be doing this for her, I really don't care about her. But I don't want this to rip apart my family, I don't want to be labeled a monster for letting my sister die (then again, treatment doesn't automatically mean she'll survive). I don't want to send my parents into depression etc and tear apart the family. god damnit

No no no no. Fuck that. You dont even have enough money. They just think youre filthy rich because they have no fucking clue, which is why theyre in this situation in thr first place.
Your sister needs to move to a state with good cancer research and get on state insurance. End of fucking story.

Say no. Tell her to get insurance. Affordable Care Act. You are not responsible. Tell them to not ruin your life like they ruined theirs.

You might blow all of your life savings trying to save her, but she might not survive anyway. Save your money.

she has cancer and will die anyway even after wasted money on treatment

I'm not from the US, eastern europe. For the sake of peace in this thread I won't name my home country but here you are basically fucked if you're not insured or have the money.

Each adult is responsible for their own financial well-being. If your family expects you to pay for all this treatment because they cannot because they pissed it away on vacations and gadgets over the years, then they have only themselves to blame. Being your sister does not entitle her to your sympathy or your bank account. Even if you relented and spent your life savings to help your sister, what's to say a few years from now another family member won't get cancer and you're put in the same situation again? Will you live perpetually broke because you're burdened with helping other adults pay for their bills? What happens if YOU get cancer and nobody, including your family, can help because you already spent your money on helping them? Are you okay with dying a resentful death because you helped others who chose not to prepare their own lives accordingly?

Still don't pay. It's not your problem, if you never received anything from them, there's nothing to pay back. You're free of all debts there.

Time to buy a house in cash and invest the rest. It's her problem she doesn't have insurance, not yours. If she dies, you're out that money. If she dies from no treatment, she is still Dead, but you have your nest egg. If she lives, she gets to get cancer again and likely die, again wasting your money.

No worries m8, and it's a tough one indeed but if you're gonna do it then do it for your parents, just demand that she reimburses you

>My sister has breast cancer and can't afford to pay for treatment.

Basically the State is killing her, because it was not her choice to get cancer, and her taxpayer money was wasted into other shit.

You should have said that in the first post idiot, there is no hope for you. Hire a death squad to kill your sister for 20 grand and be done with it

>have accumulated ~270.000k in savings at age 35, which I'm very proud of. My family is well aware of this.

Bye bye 270k

One more thing: a quarter million might not even be enough money. The number one cause of BK in the US is medical bills.

No, OP isn't paying. You're retarded for thinking he's entitled to.

And one ore thing: next time, keep your mouth shut about how much money you have stacked away. It's nobody's business and telling your family or anybody else is only cause for them to expect you to help them or to rob you.

Tell your family that if you’re putting money on the line that you earned, then you need to have any details before you make a decision. Medical history, records of what stage it’s at and what the treatment options are.
Tell your family that they need to get insurance in case this kind of thing ever happens again, because they can’t just assume your money is theirs. And let them know that not being insured is not acceptable.

If everything seems legitimate, and there’s a viable chance to save her, then you should probably do it.
Either option you’re going to regret, but money can be regained, not family members.

Oh but let her know how much of a cunt she is and totally hold it over her head that you’re saving her.

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Your life always comes first, so don't ruin your plans. See how much you need to save and how much you can spare to help. Help with how much you're willing to and think it's worth, a value that won't damage your future plans. Be clear to your family that this amount is all you can spare, tell them the rest isn't liquid and you don't have access to it if you must. And then be supportive to your family in other ways and try to help them find alternatives. That won't hurt your life and you can't be blamed if the worst happens, because you've honestly done what you could within the margins you had available.

Being from a country with free universal healthcare, I find it hard to imagine your situation. Will they actually let her die if no one pays?

And to answer your question. If you feel like that, screw her and dont spend a penny. Why would you blow away your dream and future life for the life of somebody else that didn't do jack shit for you. You are basically giving her a life over your self.

Either Let her die or tell her to go on Medicaid ( commit fraud if she has to). What does she have to loose? Her parents should take care of her while she gets treatment and you can send them a small stipend to make yourself look better if you want. It isn't your problem and no one should expect a cent from you without exploring and exhausting all available options.

Awkward user. Being a bong it's hard to get my head around paying or dying. Can you not make it into an official loan? Has your sister or family got any assets? Can your parents sign over their house to you and they pay you "rent" or when they die it's yours? It's emotional blackmail really. Fucked either way.
Sucks to be you.
Sorry.

Pay for it then disown your family, they sound like they are weighing you down.

this

this

Just to clear it up, you can't escape from this. You could move the money to "hide" it from usability, but that won't help you live with it.

Second, you're in a rough spot. Your family should expect nothing. Your sister alone is entitled to ask, and even after asking, canr reasonably expect anything.

Third, your money is savings. Your family would be wrong to expect money if it was for your kids college educations, but I'm guessing it isn't currently set aside for anything like that. That makes it slightly closer of an issue.

Fourth, your parents spent tremendous amounts of money on you over the course of your childhood. While thats more implicit than you doing the same for your sister, they are in the same ballpark.

In either sense its not your resposibility all though i can def feel you about not wanting to tear apart the family but truth be told my friend they will get over it no matter the outcome ....even if the worst were to happen it might cause a fight but again people will get over it and if they dont then they arent worth the sweat to begin with ...just because they are family doesnt automatically mean they are good people and that you should cater to them ....some people are just bad in some sense or another and thats where you need to cut it out of your life for your own sake and theres to be honest ...yes that might sound wierd but if you keep bailing them out they will always have a reason to keep running to you .....you have your own life to live and by the sunds of it worked hard to get where your at ....this alone would tell me to tell them simple...."NO Sorry I love you but i cant for many reasons and if you love me you will not force this on me" then go from there ...thats just how i would handle it!

Fuck man. Just read the thread. If you're in an EU country send her to the UK or something. 100 quid for a plane ticket. I know the NHS will pick up all the tab. Usually I'd say fuck off to this sort of thing but I sense you're a decent bloke.

Take a couple of days to think about what you want, your own internal desire

If your sister is a childless whore let her die one less rotten Democrat out there is a good thing for America

you live in a place where you can die or go bankrupt because of benign cancer and what you worry is about how your family will think of you ?

Use the money and leave the fucking country to live in a place where your life wouldn't be destroyed by any serious illness.

what would your sister do if the roles were reversed?

It doesn't matter, the fact is you have only a pittance of money because of a bad deal back in 2015, you've been slowly building up since but dont have enough to help.
> );

Immigration doesn't really work that way... Everyone always says they want to leave their country, but they don't realize there's about a 1% of getting accepted by your destination country.

Not in Europe. You can live anywhere. Thank fuck the UK got out of that bullshit. Well we're still waiting.

How the fuck is possible to know that?

First and foremost, treatment does not equal to saving her life. You'll buy her at most a few years of life. Chemio is not an actual treatment. Chemio basically kills people.

Then, it should be her asking you to pay for her treatment, not your family. She, in person. You can assume she's not a spoiled child whose mom and dad save her ass every time she does something wrong, can't you?

Also, she should give enough details about what she exactly needs. Not just "gib mony an shuddup". And that means she should show how a sincere relationship will grow up before any dime is thrown in. If I was her, I wouldn't just send in mommy and daddy to extract money from your savings by "moral blackmailing".

Then, she should voluntarily and spontaneously tell you how she will somewhat repay you. Cleary she won't ever be able to give back anything but pennies. Asking is OK, demanding is not, especially if everyone out there knows she would have never wasted 270k on you. She can't blackmail you on the premise of "if you don't I'll die", even less your parents. It wasn't her choice to get cancer, neither it's your fault. Also, if noone of them knew about those 270k, noone of them would ever have bugged you.

Savng a life is priceless. But, are we sure the equation only contains "your money" and "her only sure way to avoid death"?

You're not responsible for other people, family members included. If your whole family can't do anything but depend on you they're also responsible. The only thing you can do is do a character check whether that person has changed or is still the same prick. Nobody needs people alive that make the live harder for everyone else.

wow you really don't know shit about your own sister, do you
you obviously don't want to help. just move far away cuz your family gonna excommunicate your ignorant ass

Fuck off. I had chemotherapy for Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma (RCHOP). Grade 4 too motherfucker. Saved my life.

I'm not OP
And only thing that OP could slightly certainly know is if he can live to the rest of his life and sleep peacefully with either decision he makes.

Godspeed user, godspeed....

Ey man. If enough time has passed...

I either keep family close to me, or they're dead to me.

Same guy here, if she legit does have cancer, let HER go into debt to treat it. Loans, credit cards, anything and everything in her name. If she dies, that debt is gone as well. If she does survive, offer to assist paying the debt and write up a contract for her to repay you. Set terms, interest, the whole thing. This shows you're willing to help, but makes sure you're not seen as the immediate wallet to tap into.

>getting accepted by your destination country

Common you really thing you have to ask the country permission before invading it ?

You go there with a tourist visa, and you stay there as an illegal and then after a few years you make the paperwork to became a legal resident of the place.

you can't get any kind of credit when you have cancer. Banks aren't stupid, they don't give money to people who have a good chance of not repaying them because they'll die

But here's the thing, if he tries to not be seen as the immediate wallet to tap into, it wouldn't really work since he states that all of his family members are poor af, so they'd always pressure him because "muh, ur only the richest here". But I guess it can somewhat sorta work, but may still have some negative effects.

you're a real piece of shit

Don't pay for conventional medicine. Check this theinterstellarplan.com/product/acb/
She should also do intermitent dry fasting. It is cheap and she should be fine. GL.

Your an adult, you don’t owe your family shit.

Tell mom and dad to take out a second mortgage.

Why should you care more about somebody, just because they share blood? If I love you as family, I'll die for you. I don't see how that makes me a bad person.

Also, people do tend to forget tendencies of people over time; 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'

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Fuck communalism. OP, you've worked hard to raise yourself above your family! Don't let them drag you back down into that pit! This isn't Africa, you aren't going to be lynched if you refuse the request of your elders. Fuck 'em. You can disappear from their lives if they bitch too much.

I think you should not pay for your sister, as i understood from your story, she is basically no one to you, like a stranger .why would you sacrifice years of work for someone you despise.

Dear OP,
Now, you wont destroy your family if you dont pay. They will certainly storm at you for a while, but parents always love their children, even when children are assholes (e.g. they love your sister).
1st tip: never talk with all of them at the same time, you will be at the eye of the tornado.
2nd: be tough, tell everyone (see tip #1) you never liked her and she treats you like shit.
3rd: freeze your money. Put in some sort of investiment from which you cant take out for some time.
4th: see pic

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Banks check credit scores, not medical records. They won't know her survival chances from that info. Only her ability to pay back bills. If she's fucked her credit, it could be another motive for her to scam the rich family member.

Honestly.
Im not gona judge your family but im going to be honest from what i understand.
Make a pros and cons list.
She's a total ass hat. Dont pay.
No cennection with her. Dont pay.
Shes family. Pay up.

Bigest question is this family worth risking your future on?

I myself as a lonely child would say no, since shes a total bitch.

Say your sister would get 100% well after you pay for the treatment.

Is your familys respect worth your future and your happyness worth all your life savings knowing you will never see a daim of your money again?

Again i would say no, but i myself is an asshat. This is something you need to be sure on before you make the call.

Can you live with her ruining your future?

Can you live withthout your sister or family?

I'll admit you do make a good point.

Oh, please fuck off you idiot.

Fasting can help with certain cancers, but it does NOT reverse them. It should be combined with chemo.

Let her die. She won't contribute anything to society anyways. You still can. Don't feel guilty about it. You have to think about your life first.

If you don't give a shit about the rest of your family either, tell her to go fuck herself. I hate my family personally and no matter how ill they were I wouldn't give them anything.

if you're loaded like that hire a lawyer to write a contract to turn it into a worthwhile investment, 5-30% of her income til you get your money with whatever interest, with a monthly or yearly rule to check on her income and make sure she's paying or you stop treatment and collect the owed amount legally binding your parents in the proccess

Fuck her and spit on her grave when she does

No don't

Don't pay. Sister and the rest of family will never be grateful. They will expect more money from you.

Jesus Christ you guys are assholes. I am a long time oldfag and think OP is a total dick if he doesn't help her out. Ask for proof, yes -- don't let yourself get scammed -- but pay up. So what if she was a shitty person growing up. Do unto others as you would like done unto you -- and you can't possibly say that if someone reached out to save your ass you wouldn't be grateful.

save your monies OP, God Speed

270k in what currency? If euro/dollar, you're a fucking king in eastern europe.

Jesteś z Polski OPie?

>worked your entire life away, saving money so you can be financially secure unlike your dumbass parents who decided to have children when not stable

>they expect you to throw away YOUR money on her

nah user, keep the money.

Ok so comi.g from an user in almost this exact cituation there are.multiple progams in your city that will pay for these services you just have to do the research and yes im american in west texas to be exact there are programs you just cant be a lazy cunt you have to fi d the help ive only paid avout 1000.00 dollars toatl i refrence to my lother in laws cancer treatments

I have a twin sister and we are neutral towards each other.

If I was in the same situation, there is no way I would pay for her treatment. It's a matter of life choices and she chose to not insure herself.

I can't fathom having a sister and pondering at the possibility of saving her life. as an only child, this is just impossible for me to imagine.

What he said. You deserve better

Do not pay for her treatment. Life isn’t fucking fair. Deal with it.

Hey op, if your family cant understand that you need the money for your own future then maybe, just MAYBE they're not worth holding on to.

Food for thought

OP HERE.

Thank you all for your input. I appreciate it very much.

In my situation it seems like every decision is the wrong decision to make. Right now I have came to the conclusion that I will NOT spend my entire life savings on my sisters treatment. What I probably will do however is trying to get out of this moral burden by donating a small amount to her, and just saying that my money is currently inaccessible. That way everyone is happy and I'm just a liar, which I can probably get over.
We'll see what happens. Thank you all.

I agree with user

Check it first. There is fuckton of studies linked.

Finally OP has spoken, now we may all rest.

Just fuckin' reverse the roles.
Would my sister waste her lifetime savings on me? Probably not, but there's a little chance.

If I was badly in need of money for treatment, would I forget I've been an asshole to her? No: I'd man up, go to her and ask forgiveness and promise to work my ass off to somewhat repay her once I'm saved.
Also, I'd genuinely blame myself for having mistreated her.

BTW I'm somewhat in the same boat of OP. My older sister is a 300+lbs 47yo fattie with a bad lifestyle. She's got three children and can barely pay rent, bills and utilities. If anything happens - and I bet it'll happen, because nothing good ever comes from obesity -, she'll be back here digging for money.

Now, my savings are barely 2k and dad's are about 50k. We live in a shitty house and have a shitty car. He doesn't want to spend a single dime to renovate the house.

I guess sis believes he's got 200-300k. She also thinks this house could be sold for no less than 250k (dad wasn't even able to sell @ 100k a few years ago). She even knows I was into Bitcoin and that's even worse than those overly optimistic evaluation.

Finally, we never were in very good terms. Dad is so proud of her because "muh grandsons" - three faggots who can't even read English (if they could, they would be here between trap threads and YLYL). For the above mentioned reasons, I tried my best to go slowly back to good terms with her, but that won't change the 99% probability it will be her, not me, to come up asking for money.

It'll be a huge feud when she'll barge in refusing to believe that there's no gold mine to dig out. She'll demand half of dad's savings, she'll demand this shitty house to be sold and half of the money given her, and demand half of those imaginary Muh Bitcoinz cashed out "NOW!!!1!!"

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Lying is probably the wrong thing to do.

You aren't obligated to throw your life savings at your sister. But, there are consequences to letting your sister go without treatment so you can hold onto your precious hoard of wealth. Realize that you are choosing your wealth over your sister's life, if you can make that decision with a clear conscience then do it. If you can't, your brain is probably telling you that you should just cough up a 100 k or something and let your parents take out loans on the rest. You can work this out with them I'm sure, if they demand you pay all of it you can be an adult and refuse. Really, you and your sister are being fucked over by the system. Why doesn't she have insurance?

If she's scamming you, donating is wrong.
If she's in real need, donating is wrong because it's too little.
If she's not voluntarily and spontaneously telling you how she will try to give back, donating is wrong.

I'd first have those 'second opinion' thoroughly checked before handing out a single penny.

My bad. I wasn't aware of the newer developments. Thanks Senpai

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Can your sister/parents get a combined loan of whatever the treatment is worth, then slowly pay it back?

Perhaps even put your parents and sisters whole property as security/bond/whatever it is in english (not my native language)?

It's a tough situation, everything you've worked for is gone, nobody can afford to pay you back either. That's a lot of time lost at the workplace.

I'd hire a financial advisor to sort out all the options for loans for each person.

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Then stop holding them together. You're putting everything in and obviously only getting shit back.

Cut ties, move away.

I was in a very similar situation. A family that does nothing but take is not a family. Take your money and start a new family that isn't like the poison in yours.

Think of it this way: Your current poisonous family is trying to kill your healthy family. Don't let them.

>donating a small amount to her
Thats the opening they need. Soon after that they will get the rest of your cash.

Cut off her boobies. No more cancer

Pay the treatment, you will regret it later bro. Life is too short to hate

Give her a book in keto and tell her to go fuck herself

>> terminally ill ??

There are government programs THAT WILL pay for much of her care. Sounds like your family was not only too lazy to get the cheap, subsided Obamacare but they are also too lazy to even check out the medicaid funded state programs or charitable programs.

Is your family's mentality "fuck all that healthcare paperwork and investigation of available, government money we'll just get brother to pay for it all --he's got MONEY"

check out all the government programs yourself since your family doesn't seem capable of doing so

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OP's sister acts like a sociopath on quick observation.
Survey says:
>Fuck off and die

Cheeky bastard, that was good.

Tell her that she got herself into cancer. She can get herself out if she wanted. You gotta look out for numero uno, fam. In the end, all you really have is yourself.

>It'll be a huge feud when she'll barge in refusing to believe that there's no gold mine to dig out. She'll demand half of dad's savings, she'll demand this shitty house to be sold and half of the money given her, and demand half of those imaginary Muh Bitcoinz cashed out "NOW!!!1!!"

WHO IS THE EXECUTOR OF YOUR DAD'S WILL. if she is your are fucked

Don't pay. Your sister was an asshole to you, you don't need to be better towards her. Cut ties with you family.

>death squad
>for a cancer patient
Hey buddy you just blow in from stupid town?

That seems the wisest path. Good luck user.

He's not in the U.S. Some eastern European back water.

Fuck her. She can start a gofundme if she wants to live. Also, best course of action would be to fake your death, user. Your whole family is shit.

OP again.

Before something bad happens again and my family starts seeing me as a blank check I hopefully will be at a point in life where my savings have gone towards my house etc.
I also never flauted my savings, they just always knew because I obviously told them about my future plans and they saw me grow up living this way.

We're still trying to work out every possible solution but it already seems like someone will have to pay up, and that just happens to be me in my family. I also don't want to see my parents go into lifetime debt for my sister but that's their decision to make, i guess...

>Before something bad happens again and my family starts seeing me as a blank check I hopefully will be at a point in life where my savings have gone towards my house etc.

You won't have enought willpower not to give out the rest of the money they ask immediately.
Do yourself a service and give nothing.

Fuck God, choose money!

OP=belarus lol. Why even bother, just let her die.

Are you a Christian?

Tie at least half of the money up so it cannot be accessed without serious notice and effort. Stash it.

Let your family know that you only have the remainder.. The rest is gone, forgotten, maybe you lost loads on bitcoin? It .Doesn't. Exist. Forget yourself that you even have it.

Offer the remaining half to them, given certain conditions, and with the story of your history with sister thrown in.

Ask for your sister to repay it, if she survives.