Useless superpowers

Useless superpowers
You can command your toenails to grow to 5 inch at any time by screaming at them

Attached: lgklycm2jvr01.jpg (593x552, 68K)

The ability to post the same thread on Yea Forums over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

i have nothing better to do

Indestructible pubes

at least you can get your name in the guinness world records so its not that useless

eh, neither do I.. I guess that's my super power..

Attached: faggots.jpg (357x206, 14K)

holy shit i would've chased young Courtney Cox to the sea and back.

The power to turn toast back into regular bread?

Attached: 1555712778018.jpg (497x480, 46K)

The power to make transsexuals kill themselves.

The power to rub your hands together and instead of generating heat, the friction generates the smell of the last fart that Tom Hanks made.

Attached: A9JzWWt.jpg (280x224, 16K)

Attached: 3623079897.jpg (1612x1270, 156K)

The power to know what plants are thinking

nothing?

>Useless superpowers
really bendy thumb

They're thinking about electrolytes, faggot.. we all know this.

she was hot as fuck all in the springsteen days

>Useless superpowers

Being able to summon the assistance of one single duck to help you at any time. But not on a Sunday.

>not sure if autistic or illiterate
the name of the thread is "useless" powers, you double 76get hivemind retards

the power to score with other superhero's wives

Ability to plug in a USB cord correctly on the first try.

the power to get the cotton out of aspirin bottles super efficiently
dude, i can do this all night

>the name of the thread is "useless" powers
yeah, it's useless power, not "power you get nothing out of". You're a retard and you type bullshit

The power to control hair, but only 1 strand at a time.

USB plugs are 4th dimensional. this implies space/time alteration. are you prepared for that?

I'm ready.

Attached: jesus.jpg (2310x141, 68K)

the power to get kicked in the nuts in WWE and not forget to wear a cup for some odd reason

>get nothing out of
>useless
>thinking there's a difference
Guess it was autism after all.

Get progressively more itchy when under restraint of any kind

>I'm ready
yeah, i figured you would be
>he fired SAMs at F4s
fixed that for you

This thread had the potential to suck ass, but it's really building heat

>Useless superpowers
US and A
CHINA #1

the power to have twin toes but wiggle them independently
i can do this all night

Turn into a basketball after i get aids

the power to buy vodka by the case and drink it all while staying awake for 6 day in a ...
oh wait, i can do that now
nevermind

this is why the networks dubbed republcan't party red and not the demorats. calling the left red would be too damn close to truth

what the fuck is the name of that nervana song with the lights down i'm less dangerous

The ability to smell your asshole at anytime.

the power to hear any Triumph song at will and to summon Rik Emmet as my personal barber

the power to have exactly the amount of cash in my pocket to buy anything i want at any given time
>seriously, i can do this all night

the power to think anyone out of existence at any time, but only people that in the past had called me "stinky"

you posted this shit yesterday morning

the power to perform lasic surgery on myself or other people against their will

the power to know which picture is going to be on next month's calender page without looking first

Dont underestimate ducks.
Vicious motherfuckers

So? What's your point?

>But not on a Sunday
FUCK! now what the fuck am i going to do Sunday? jeeze fucking louise, i was counting on that duck for Sunday

the power to be everywhere at one time, but only one time

They're what plants crave, after all

remember
every duck has a little GSD face on it's bill

Attached: gsduck.jpg (906x926, 96K)

the power to fly, but only when it's snowing

the power to be a crackhead without constantly looking out the window

it was last night and besides its bettr than porn/trap threads and besides you have no say in what threads i can create

>its bettr than porn/trap threads
ain't that the truth

the power to cook crank without your house exploding
>i can do this all night

Attached: 7584991297.jpg (2308x1616, 153K)

i know this is spam but goddamn that's a nice ass

the power to not piss all over everything when i get up hung over and try to hit the toliet in the dark

you drink too much

>>i can do this all night
you suck at it though

You sound like you don't drink enough.

I had 300ml whiskey since I created the thread

I can fly but only for a second and it drains my energy. Basically jumping

>Basically jumping
this is the funniest thing i've heard all night

Super strength but regular bones and tendons

Haha you fool. You can use it to catapult your ass into 3 trillion miles per burger in that second and proceed to fly through the universe at light speed until you hit something that will be completely obliterated. While you won't survive it is far from useless.

About those beans.

'please assist me in my cooking pot'

you don't understand.
light speed affects mass in a really shitty way.
carried to it's ultimate conclusion, infinite speed would also imply infinite mass. that's why all the threads about stopping time are bullshit. you would be moving x in zero time, hence infinite speed. not to mention you'd be everywhere at once. as Carl said
"This doesn't matter. None of this matters"

OUCH!!

i buy my liquor in such large quantities that it's hard to keep track accurately. you must be doing airplane bottle, because who the hell sells anything in 300 ml?

I wanna be communism man and my superpower is I cant eat

that's not a super power under communism, that's a given

The ability to have xray vision, to see through clothes but by doing so your penis shrinks 1cm

I have the power to render anyone incapable of saying the word "garage".

Thread is 'useless' superpowers m8

Ability to get the capcha right every time, even crosswalks

oh bullshit, now you've gone too far

forgive english, i am Russia

In my name is Johnsky, and I hated by all you. These are not stupid fat ass a second time to reject the shots. You're all evil in the world. Honestly, have you ever received? I'm afraid that people will not make fun of them, and I do not think a new level of enjoyment. In other words, what the photo on Facebook, and masturbation is the worst.

Do not be a stranger. If you hit me with your best shot. It was almost perfect. I football, basketball, our team will start. How to exercise, "and the Japanese Nude, which was designed by Jack"? I (this is enough work for me at least) one of the best success in the hot girl. It should be just all'm suicide. Thank you for your attention, please.

Me and my dog has produced

Attached: Russian_cash.jpg (242x251, 26K)

my super power is that i will find whatever centers you and destroy it.
TRUST ME
TRUST ME
TRUST ME

Even cars?

Attached: 2878672935.jpg (1014x1670, 116K)

how many blue cars so far?

The power to go ten minutes back in time, but every time you use the power, you lose a day of your lifespan.

the ability to read other people's mind
(i'm a hikikomori)

that's useful, not useless wymlol