Wake up

Wake up
See dis crawling on you
Wat do Yea Forums ?

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open pee hole
profit?

yelp and flail arms wildly

Welcome my new insect overlords.

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Die

Um. Smash it? Wtf else would you do?

I literally woke up in the middle of the night one night and turned on my phone to browse Yea Forums quickly. the light shines on the ceiling and I see 4 of those things quickly scurry away

it's not an insect

Scream, slap my body a million times in an attempt to smash, and roll out of bed all in 1 second

Wonder why the fuck am i sleeping in the bathroom

Yes, yes it is.

Man these things run pretty fast

facts. only ever seen these in the bathroom and theyre fucking t i n y

It has an angry face

Cum on it

Fuck you op! Why did you have to curse me with knowing that this thing exists!?!?!

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Wake up again and find it’s just this little guy

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what a cutie!

Yes!

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I literally can smell him now

Welcome my new overlords of indeterminate origin.

Insert penis in butt op

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its hunting silverfish so leave it alone

probably freak the fuck out and die

Holy shit you guys are fucking pussies
The only answer for anyone who isn't a mewling child or a pathetic old woman is to literally ignore it. Bunch of fucking pussy ass bitches in here all scared of a wittle baby anthropod

faint

Turn 360* and walk away

i name them jimmy every time i see one
then when jimmy gets too big for my comfort ill smush'em with my sock

house centipedes eat the bad bugs, so...

offer him a little top hat and kindly redirect him elsewhere

Post centipede on dick with timestamp, tough guy

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this guy is insane. That's a god damned spiderpede shun!

I live in Venezuela. I'll feed my family with it.

What distinguishes good bug from bad bug, and why are centipede the good guys?

cuddle him fondly

Tell Blake Layton come get his ass

bad bugs bite you and/or infest your mattress

also, they totally don't do house chores

and tits. tits or gtfo

They're the alpha predator. They eat all the shit I like less including spiders and then they eat each other too. You're left with 1 big badass centipede who stands as evidence of thousands of dead lesser arthropods you'll never have to deal with

nothing
they are ugly fuckers but they eat other insects

This. 69er knows the truth.

Grab a brush an put a little makeup

Wait centipede don't bite? They scary enough to not have to I guess haha

And they grow w/o a known limit in proportion to available food sources until they die of natural causes or poison, so you can get a beat on how bad your infestation of other stuff is by how big they are.

I had a good run.

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That's badass

actually happened to me as a kid. put a cup on top of it while it was on my blanket and slid a paper on it

Many species do. That particular one doesn't. It's a predator, but it will always run from something 100 times it's own height, and it will do so faster than your eye can follow.

Breakfast in bed!

sex it

Came here to say this kek