Why haven't you joined the military yet /b?

Don't even think the UK armed forces or RAF have anything a data entry clerk could benefit from.

ayy I ship out at a similar date. Which branch?

how can anyone not appreciate Shads work

Would probably fail both the psychological and physical exams.

That may be the most retarded image I've ever seen on Yea Forums.

Friendly fire from degenerates

Cause i'm not dumber then dogshit, OP

I did and now im 100% total and permanent disabled plus on ssdi for the rest of my life.

because the bundeswehr is fucking gay

because I have actual skills to excel in the professional world.
only those with an IQ less than cauliflower join the army/military

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at least you "served your country"

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kys tranny

make this a shad thread!

smoke weed youtube.com/watch?v=D0rFMjCoAIQ

Have this then.

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>military enlistings at all time low
>incel manchildren on the rise
video games will be our undoing

cant make this shit up

Because I did well in high school.

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Boeing would fire your ass.

But I did. I’m a POG and I love it.

or give them a crashy plane to fly

good thing i don't work at Boeing

>Thinking high school is an accomplishment.
I’m literally LMAO’ing @ ur life. A diploma is required to enlist.

you don't have to be dumb to join the military. lot's of smart people are enlisted by choice

Because I'm pretty sure all this socialism stuff is actually going to happen.
The only appealing reason to join was for free healthcare and education.... so ya. Socialism. If the wealthy want wars, they can sign their own damn kids up.

Good thing you don't work anywhere in the "Military Industrial Complex"?

any monkey can fire a gun. you aren't special

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High school is a means to an end. Think please. Now, people who do well in high school get what?

There are ROTC's

Enlisted? Not really. Regular commission? Sure.

Because I make far more money in the private sector, and this way I don't have to die for oil.

>If the wealthy want wars, they can sign their own damn kids up.

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I didn't say I'm in the military did I?

>you don't have to be dumb to join the military
>have to be dumb to join the military
>be dumb to join the military
>dumb to join the military

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No shit. You’re not deep because you say you accomplished step 1, dumb fuck.

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You're not thinking. Now try again: what do good high school students get?

they said i didnt weigh enough and i havent gained weight since and i havent tried again and went to college

Why join the military when you can make more money in the private sector?

Retarded, leading by your example.

you're much better off having gone to college instead

>Why haven't you joined the military yet /b?

I was a Bootneck for 14 years, I went to Iraq x2, Afghan x3 and Kosovo.

Good students get retarded? I can see why you joined the military. I'll give you the answer though: SCHOLARSHIPS. Good students get SCHOLARSHIPS.

Suddenly the conservative ideology makes too much sense now..

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What is this "psychological" test people always talk about? I spent 7 years in the military and not once did I have to do that

you were a tool for 14yrs

You'd be the kid that gets the sock full o' locks in basic

No they don’t. Excellent students do, you retard.

>”Hurr hurr I dun good in high school. I maek lots uh monay.”
This is you. This is how you talk.

There is no psycho test outside of MEPS evals in the U.S. Either the dude’s lying or in some third world country.

but he wouldn't ever be in basic because he has useful skills that make it so he doesn't need the military

you'd be the kid that gets electrocuted because you don't know the difference between volts, watts, amps.

You seem upset. I wasn't going to brag and use superlatives, but I was the valedictorian. Once you're done looking up a couple of those words, we can talk about how I didn't pay for the first or second year of university.

I was intel (we mowed lawns outside of deployments and training) and I never had a psych test. Just interviews for my clearance

youtube.com/watch?v=vtJ2f8_lfn4

Yea and I’m a Navy SEAL with 300 confirmed kills, etc.

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Did shad ever finish that comic about the younger brother blackmailing the older sister because of webwhoring?

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Unless you're born too poor for college and too white/male for scholarships. Literally the reason I joined. Now it's a decade later and I just came back from a ceremony where I got an award for having the highest GPA in my department

GOOD MEME user.

You're a low-level enlisted grunt and you know it, a parasite contributing nothing to national defense and siphoning off tax money from people who have real jobs.

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I'm a white male and I had no problems getting scholarships. But, you know, good grades and all that.

Sitting in my tech school dorm playing some RuneScape right now, getting paid to lift bruu

>an award

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And you’re a LARPing fatass killing time until he has enough good boy points to spend on mommy’s tendies.

Yeah okay guy

>STATUS UPDATE PRIVATE!
>SIR, I AM TRIGGERED SIR!
I know it's hard to acknowledge that some people have done better than you in life but you need to get used to it. I work with people who have doctorates, MBAs, and often some other degree or certification. Me and my lowly master's degree (and WIP doctorate) makes me barely-qualified to work where I do.

But I don't let it bother me. However, if I had been a high school fuckup that landed in front line infantry, maybe I would need to resort to your coping mechanisms.

Whats up with you bro?

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Haven’t got to use this one in a while. It’s okay though, not everyone can make it into the military.

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>Award = $$$
>literally $5000 for going to class and putting forward minimal effort

>straight A student, but this was back when you had to go through your high school counselor for scholarship applications
>also didn't have internet back then
>because poor

I’m 16 and too much of a pussy to enter combat

Shad never finishes anything, thank goodness.

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airforce.com/how-to-join/prepare-for-success/meet-requirements

Coping mechanism activated it seems. Whatever helps you sleep at night. If I'd wanted to join, the MHAFB was right near me but then my scholarships would have gone to waste. Tell me, did you even apply for one?

>literally $5000

faggot i make that on a slow weekend and I DON'T have to have a target on my back or people yelling in my face.

ok maybe I have to endure people yelling at me but at least I won't lose my life

wait..

To be fair, my father was a guidance counselor in the next district over. However, I shared every scholarship opportunity he set before me with my classmates and only one or two ever acted on it. People are lazy.

see now I'm doubtful. if you make that kind of scratch, wtf are you doing in this shithole? Are you that unimaginative? Or bad with money? Or impotent?

I’m in university, paid for by the military. As far as I can tell your rhetoric still exemplifies, “hurr hurr I dun gud in high school. I maek lots uh monay.”

lets just say i'm a contractor

>won't share his profession on an anonymous imageboard
fake and gay

haha funny, I work on complex electronics, specificially with skills I got in the mil. I guarantee I make more than you.

Good for you, but if you'd been a good student you would have graduated by now.

>thinks $25/hr is making bank
oh look at Mr. Rolly Royce over here

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>degree from top 10 university
>full-ride scholarship
>acceptance to top 3 PhD STEM program
IDK OP, why didn't I join? Maybe I'm not some retard like the majority of America.

What do you mean I ship out June 25th user

shameful

So would you. Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I did for 10 years. Worst decision I ever made was getting out.

have you passed your candidacy yet?

A few months ago.

>maybe I'm not some retard like the majority of America
>on Yea Forums
Lol yeah sure faggot

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Well it is a part-time PhD. Abbott doesn't leave me much time, I only get Friday afternoons in the lab. What, you thought I was paying for my doctorate?

...

gratz, I still need to do my proposal defense...and my proposal. Classes are done though, ezpz.

Of course not. I haven’t graduated yet either since being a 5-star General of the SEALS tends to take up time from my schedule.

come on. trust your fellow Yea Forumsretheren

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What I'm saying is mundane, not something to lie about. Why would anyone lie about getting a doctorate from OSU while working for Abbott in central Ohio? Not a good lie.

But congrats on being a 5 star general kiddo.

ah, human trafficking. got it.

Alright, clearly you neck beards don't know anything about the military, so here's some stuff:
1. Not everyone is infantry. Those guys have no special skills, other than enduring dumb shit because they're too stupid to react.
2. Most people that join don't even deploy, and if they do, they don't even see combat. I spent 9 months in the stan working with CJSOTF, and never got into a TIC. Most people I went through training with never even deployed.
3. The military offers a lot of stuff you can't get from going to college or university. Intelligence jobs requiring a foreign language put you in swank ass California and teach you goddamn whatever language you score high enough to learn. حياة جيدة
4. Some states have additional benefits for veterans. Texas has the Hazelwood Act that, when your 4 years of GI Bill runs out, covers up to 150 credit hours at any Texas public university.
5. Many companies have preferred hiring for veterans, meaning that in a stack of applicants the vets get put on top. That means you're bachelor degree in science is weighed against the Navy veteran who spent 8 years on a submarine maintaining a nuclear reactor.
6. Being enlisted is basically being in a fraternity. It's however many years of heavy drinking and lots of fucking. There is no better pick up line than "I'm about to deploy" or "I just got back from deployment."

So congrats on your life choices, but we've heard all of this shit before. Though I'm still waiting for the obligatory "if a drill sergeant got in my face, I'd punch them."

You do realize Yea Forums is not all that exists, right? I come on Yea Forums from time to time bc sometimes, buried under all the degeneracy, porn, and retardation, some people know their shit.

I think it's supposed to point >this way

It's better when classes are done. So glad I've been done with classes for almost two years now.

Because the military pays me to make sure their shit works when needed, since they can't completely do it themselves.

bone spurs

What I’m saying is mundane as well. I should be colonizing Mars next year, but that’s neither here nor there.

No problem though, if you ever need life advice, please let me know. I am in line to become President, after all.

tried to, got rejected for medical reasons

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My guidance counselor told me I "wasn't college material" and told me to get a job at the Rubbermaid factory the next town over. In her defense, she didn't know what anthropology was and I'm pretty sure she didn't have a college degree. Now I'm in college, I speak Arabic, I've got a security clearance and a bunch of connections and friends at alphabet soup places, and that factory has long since closed

Tits or it didn't happen

worst state, I hope they suceed

Ateast user is doing something with his life. What have you done besides eat mommies good boy tendies?

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS

You'll grow up one day user, hopefully you learn to accept that some people are better than you. I've accepted it, I'll never be the CSO where I work, but the way you lash out when confronted with greater success makes me think you're doomed for a career-ending meltdown.

Nah, I wouldn't punch a drill sergeant. I'm not that fucking stupid. But I also wouldn't willingly sign my life away so that I have to obey the every command of some stuck up dick who thinks he's better than everyone. A lot of people fought and died to end slavery in the US. I'm not going to volunteer to be a slave.

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Again, most people don't even deploy. It's literally free healthcare and free college for most people. Shit, most women get Medboarded in their first two years.

Well since I'm turkish I don't wanna die in a middle east desert fighting for my shitty ass country.

spite works. one of my friends was a "C's get degrees, pass the bong" guy in college until the biochem prof said he "wasn't grad school" material. Now he's got his doctorate and SAS certification and is a director of R&D at a major company in Oregon.

I know you’ve accepted it, I exist after all lol. You’ll be as successful as me one day, kid. Maybe.

A little weed never hurt anyone. I was an "A's graduate with honors, pass the bong" guy in college.

I'm already more successful than you'll ever be, as are many, many others. You need to learn to accept these things and not lash out in such an aggressive and immature way.

Consider this: had you been an ace student, would you have gone military?

just like all drugs, not everyone handles weed the same way.

there is nothing interesting about British army so fuck it, besides its too late now

Spite definitely works. I've lost count of how many things I've done just because some said I couldn't. Only reason I'm actually putting forth effort now that I'm in college is so I can get into a good law school. Goal is, ironically, to get a staff position with some elected official and get them to push for the US to formally recognize the ICC so that Rumsfeld and Bush and Cheney will get tried for the plethora of war crimes they committed or authorized.

You realize nuclear engineer is an MOS right? Also a HUGE chunk of people who join are doing it for college money, post 9-11 gi bill is fucking amazing.

But I am, and I did. As I said I’m a 5-star General, in line to become the president, about to colonize Mars. I don’t see what’s unbelievable.

godspeed brother. My sister is in law school atm, cramming for finals. She has similar ideals.

See, this is what I'm talking about. You're going to have a hard time adapting to a real job if you lash out at everyone higher than you.

So you can get trained for free, then go private sector

Same here, plus opm medical retirement, 30 years old

>not the guy you've been having your little back and forth with
>sadly this is 75% of the people in the military

They really give the rest of us a bad name

Watch what you say, boyo. I’ve trained with Scout Snipers and can have your location backtraced before you blink.

nice trips

I don't know if I'm reaching us.

youtube.com/watch?v=OkDYrCCmUIA

My betters have said it better.

You say “is” like you’re enlisted, lol. I’ll have you know I was valedictorian of Yale back in ‘93.

Fuck if I care. I'll meet you at the Whit's in Granville OH tomorrow at noon if you wanna talk. I'll be the tall guy in the obnoxious OSU hoodie.

>”I'll be the fat guy hiding in the obnoxious OSU hoodie.”
FTFY.

>tall = fat
wew lad

5’4” isn’t tall.

>degree from top 10 university
>full-ride scholarship
>acceptance to top 3 PhD STEM program
>uses Yea Forums like a hypocritical lying-ass retard
>Yeah sure user, I believe your bullshit, bet nobody else buys that crap

>assuming that there's an internet
>being sensitive enough to respond with some shit i could give a shit less about
Idk why you have to flex as if you aren't retarded

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ITT: Fat cunts who think they're better sitting at home than doing something with their life
INB4 cucks replying cuz they're too fat and lazy to serve

>yikes

Not everyone on Yea Forums lives in his moms basement eating Cheetos(tm) snack crisps.

I'd rather join.

someone's being a salty neckbeard degenerate

Yall gonna fight irl? Or suck each other off and must post pics

Did my four as 0311. I'm good.

Yea some of us are Sous Chefs at Wendy’s making $80k/year.

This is the first guy in this thread that's convinced me hes not full of shit.

Because when I was 18 I'd already been under the thumb of a domineering parental figure and was not about to swap that one for one not even related to me.

Also, I don't know if the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket is anywhere near typical of a real one, but if so I'd have been kicked out or shot for laughing my ass off at his schtick.

>literally has multiple threads with multiple people arguing why they should give a fuck that it claims its not autistic.
Yeah sure. Salty kiddo

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M'lady...

>literally has multiple responses to salty autism stating your saltiness
get back to your tendies and cheeto stained fingers

just shy of 6'3". I know you need me to be "everything bad" for your ego, but it just isn't true.

Granted sitting in an office all day long hasn't been great for my belt size but I'm still in the "pooch" stage. Learning to homebrew was a blessing and a curse.

The Drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket is and was a real drill instructor for the Marine Corps. He came from a completely dif time frame, these days that shit is not allowed. You will be yelled at, not once should a DI lay a finger on you, if so you take up with his CO.

OOGA BOOGA WHITE POLEEZEMEENS BAD NIGGA HEHE IHAVE CAMERA THAT BEAT POLICE SUCK MY DICK WHITE BOY

I left out the part about how everyone is autistic in the military, and we have super fucked up memes. It's basically that scene in Office Space where the guy listens to gangsta rap and locks his doors when a black guy walks by, but 24/7

But you’re not. I on the other hand am Michael Jordan’s half-brother, standing at 8’10”.

And the part about how the post 9/11 GI Bill pays you a monthly housing allowance. Mine is $1900/month, and in the area I live that means I don't have to work while I'm in school, unless I want to

I guess I should clarify. I know R. Lee was a real DI in real life, but I did wonder how much the filmmakers took liberty with what really went on.

The being yelled at part was all I was thinking about when I posted anyway. Like I said, I had enough of that growing up and that was by someone who knew what buttons to push. (because they installed them of course. :) )

Long past time for me to consider a military career anyway. I'm 48 and wouldn't even be have to worry about the draft anymore.

I tried. Was 8-up before I got in

Fat cunt

im not 116 yet

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The intro to FMJ was improvised by Emery. He was originally meant to act as a guide for the actor, however his entire schtik was too genuine not to include.

Triforce of cringe
youtube.com/watch?v=46_d5XJ7L5c

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Autism? Or Downs?

Lol, oh the autism, how I miss it so. My last name is Wood, so my entire military career was one long dick joke. (REALLY long) Everyone wanted me to go green to gold, so that one day I'd reach O-4 and become Major Wood, then order everyone to refer to me only by name and rank instead of sir.

I don't want to die for Israel

I have. Navy nuke

Im joining the Marines. Leave June 3rd for boot. CBRN MOS

got caught with the reefer OP now i cant serve.

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Only faggots don’t serve!!!

Stop being gay

>asthma
>flat foot
>type 2 diabetes
>testicular cancer
not happening, i tried but they just wouldn't have it.

So if the military is just a bunch of welfare queens, does that mean we can send drill sergeants to the homes of welfare recipients to scream at them to fucking work?

i don't feel like dying for israel in proxy wars over materialistic globalist horseshit.
if america ever nuts up and we're actually fighting for our homeland and culture, then maybe.

s6ix8

I'm serving my country as a teacher.

Lol thanks for the free daycare bitch

Absolutely nothing.
>4.0 GPA
>34 ACT
>Perfect SAT

No problem. I'm sure that time you spend without your children is very productive.

Because your recruiters are fuckwads who push shit on people who don't want it.