Im going through a bipolar episode. AMA

Lithium 900mg, lamotrigine 150mg, quetiapine 600mg, duloxetine 40mg, propranolol 60mg, assorted vitamins and supplements

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Does it feel silly overreacting to your internal thoughts/emotions? You’re a slave to yourself through your desire of two things: ego and desire - your desire is identity through mental illness, albeit bi polar disorder, in your case. You’ll grow out of it, or kill yourself, or possibly die unhappy. I wish you the best, user.

Well for one when I go off my meds I start to get psychosis kind of stuff. I have OCD like symptoms as well and can't stop thinking about repetitive patterns of what happened in the past think about what could of happened and went different if I did things differently at the time. I beat myself up alot over this. I start to think important dates matter or mean something and try to find a way to break the cycle. It sounds weird but sounds similar to symptoms I have had before. I feel I have 2-4 years to figure everything I need to know out before ending it. But not for nothing. I sound crazy as is right now because I just got over a episode recently.

Hey a fellow schizo, welcome to the club!

Sounds like me. I’ve had OCD since 12 due to trauma. Tried close to 10 antidepressants. Seroquel+low dose cymbalta makes 99% of my ocd symptoms go away

mmmyep. lived with bipolar and chronic depression my entire life. started seeing a therapist at 7 and im in my 20s now. this shits bull crap.

I dont go around telling people im a nut case, but pretty much my life is a constant rollercoaster of this exact shit. I'll start crying just driving down the road if a song comes on that makes me feel a certain type of way for no good reason. I gain weight and lose it like crazy. latest loss is 38lbs in 3 months.

I get so preoccupied with this shit I forget to eat, stress myself out so much that my stomach feels like its on fire and I vomit up any food I do eat. shit lasts for a long time.

i stopped taking my meds at 19 because I didnt like the way it felt and never been back to a doctor since then

lost 7 jobs in 2 years. currently unemployed and at uni. shit is getting wild.

gl user

>Does it feel silly overreacting to your internal thoughts/emotions?
its extremely embarrassing because I never know when I'm overreacting so every outburst brings up shame guilt, and an extremely embarrassing feeling

treating people you love like shit is horrible. no matter how hard i try i always say stupid shit i regret later when i think back on the situations...its a constant second guessing game

I can't do antidepressants. I been on meds and therapy since I was 13-14 years old now double my age. When I was a teen I attempted suicide twice because kept randomly switching me on antidepressants. None worked for me. The only one that kind of worked for me is lexipro but I found I'm better off without it. I think I got a good combination that took years to perfect. I just think I need one more think to balance me.
Yeah brother I know how exactly how you feel man. And it really fucking irritates me when people say mental health isn't a real thing and this and that. Fuck them and fuck all that. Also some Christians think it's because I'm not religious so it's demon possession. I have similar issues and symptoms as you so I feel you. It's just very hard for me to meet people with similar problems besides my best friend who doesn't have any has always been by my side but as for any new people guys girls they just end up thinking I'm crazy. Maybe I am but like I don't feel I am in a creepy way. I just can't Express what I'm going through most of the time shit happens and just react. But yeah I wish you both anons the best as well.

yeah, i was around some guys my age with bipolar in the mad house for a few weeks and i really would suggest you not make friends with people irl with bipolar disorder or other mental illnesses. we're more prone to feeding off each others mania. its not good.

wow, youre so interesting.

Take your Zyprexa kid

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>bipolar reads attention whore
Gotcha

I suppose. Idk. Just feel could relate. Help each other. Talk about it when no one else would understand. Before I got diagnosed with just depression when I was a teen my sister's friend who she got mad at liked me and I liked her. We smoked weed behind her back. She gave me pills whenever she could. I had no money because I spent all my money on her already. She said no worry we got high I had to drive but she wanted pizza we ate at pizza place she paid for everything. Went back to mine watched a movie. Got head. Keep it lowkey had sex but sister got suspicious so her birthday polar took over and she said I manipulated her and stuff. Idk made some fabricated story to get back with my sister it didn't work. She got mad at me as well. But during the time said some really fucked up things about me. But like literally the day before we had so much fun so idk. Apparently she's dead now but idk. If my sister was never involved and her friend it could of worked out better. Idk it depends and mental illness is a stigma on its own so like idk. I could see there can be some problems but maybe sometimes it could work.