>be me
>mom tells me I can't live off her forever and that I need to get a job
>tell her I can't imagine working and that i'd rather be homeless
>she doesn't say anything
>redpill her more about how my birth was her fault and that I didn't choose to be born so now she has to take responsibility for me
>she starts to cry a little bit
>tell her to stop crying because she's an adult
>few days later I come home from the liquor store
>her and a couple of family friends are over
>one of them tells me I have to move out right now
>tell them I have no place to go
>they say I have to move anyway
>basically getting kicked out of my own house
>tell mom she owes me for all those years I was on social security and she was basically living off me and my brother's autismbucks
>tell her she should feel ashamed because she spent some of that money on herself instead of giving it to me and that she was basically stealing from me and my brother the entire time
>one of the guys comes out of my room with a suitcase full of clothes
>throws them outside and tells me to leave
>mom is crying
>this is bullshit
>he tries to force me out of the house
>throws me off the porch
>start screaming and crying
>lay there for at least 5 minutes screaming and crying
>scream and cry so hard I start coughing in between crying
>tear down all her wind chimes and start wrecking her flower bed
>one of the guys comes out and tries to wrestle me away form the house
>spit in his face and throw plants/windchimes at him until he goes back inside
>keep screaming and crying until she lets me back inside
>immediately head to me room to watch my favorite twitch streamer to calm me down
>use mom's debit card to donate to him so I can get the text to speech bot to say how my mom almost killed me
Be me
Other urls found in this thread:
Good job
>twitch streamer
>mom debit card
>you're a fucking loser
Keep up the good fight user
you’re a retard
Lmfao I love this.
This is how it’s gonna be with these new generation fucktards
Holy shit OP, I had an almost exact situation happen to me last weekend.
golden
Put me in the screencap faggot
You're a cunt and your mom deserves better.
jobs arent so bad, you'll get used to em
you're honestly a piece of shit
youre such a pussy. useless fucktards like you that refuse work should recieve no hep from anyone. and trying to use the fzct that you dont want to be alive to guilt trip your mom to be responsible for you? the fuck man. maybe you should die you autistic fuck
>be me
>28, mommy's healthy 430 pound good boy
>Watched the stock exchange last night, I am now able to convert U.S dollars to GBP
>Right now I am low on GBP, mommy hasn't collected my pee pee jars (I tax her)
>Try some online gambling site that Jake Paul and Ricegum showed me, use mommy's credit card to make profit
>Win Apple Air Pods with the infinite money mommy has
>Tell mommy about the free Air Pods I got
>Tell her we are going to be rich and ask for some GBP, tell her to convert the price of the Air Pods into GBP just like I learned from the stock estrange
>itworks.jpg
>b me in my room, just filled another pee pee jar, eating trendies now
>mom is her room, chad daddy is out for the night
>She start crying in her room
>Something about a credit card being charged millions
>Must be the Air Pods I won, must be tears of joy
>Mommy is so happy she shoots a gun in celebration
>She must have taken a nap too, I asked for tendies and she hasn't come to my room yet
>Welp, it looks like today was another good day for Mommy's good boy
What happen to your mom's boy friend, did they calm her down?
Man up or be a loser for the rest of your life.
>be me
>mummy's 450 lb 33-year-old
>talking with my anime gf on my computer when suddenly
>i hear the faint sound of an ice cream truck
>i say "cya later" to hatsune miku, the love of my life
>i get up from my gaming chair, waddle through piss and cum jugs, and open the door of my room
>as i hopple down the stairs i yell "mummy mummy the ice cream truck is coming give me money mummy!!!"
>she says "i'm sorry my love we're short on money" as she takes in the smell of the shit and piss that i'm dripped in and sheds a tear, she is so proud of me
>i get angry and let out a REEEEEEE and slap her with my cum-coated flaps of fat
>she obliges and hands me a 5 dollar bill
>i trudge my healthy body outside and see my first ray of sunlight in many months
>i look around in excitement for my ice cream but it's too late
>the ice cream truck is gone
>i cry and shit my diapers outside in the middle of the yard
>i crawl my way back in covered in my own poo
>i yell at my mum to make me some tendies, which i had just enough GBP for
>a few minutes later, my tendies are in front of me
>i eat them 3 at a time from hunger
>i'm still sad i didn't get my ice cream though, but tendies will do
Thank you for the solid chuckle.
>be me
>28yo NEET
>3 AM
>really want Waffle House grilled steak melt
>can't drive, never learned
>try to wake mom up to take me there but she keeps telling me to go back to sleep
>start howling so the dog starts barking loudly until she finally gets up
>drives me to waffle house
>get there, remember that local one closes at 2 AM
>nearest 24 hour waffle house is 45 minutes away
>mom refuses to take me, offering McDonald's instead
>grab the steering wheel and veer off the side of the road, threatening to kill us both if she doesn't take me
>she drives me to the 24 hr waffle house
>mfw she cried the whole 45 minutes back while I enjoyed my grilled steak melt
Fucking normalfags, when will they learn?
I can’t think of a worse type of person than you OP. Seriously.
Grow the fuck up, take some responsibility for yourself, stop mooching off others and do something productive.
I can’t stand lazy, whining cocksuckers like you.
>Up in the wee hours of Thursday morning
>been masturbating to Sailor Moon Crystal
>finish up and get the munchies
>Wake up mom at 3am
>Tell her i'm hungry for chicken mcnuggets and to go buy some now
>Says she has wake up early for work tomorrow (dumbass that's today) and she'll pick some up on the way home
>Fuck that
>Place subwoofer speakers against the wall facing parents room and blast youtube.com
>She knocks my room door for 5 minutes meekly asking me to turn it off but I kick back and scream CHICKEN MCNUGGETS every time
>Finally she stops and gets in her car and comes back 40 minutes later with my mcnuggets
>Double 50 piece with extra dipping sauce plus an M&M McFlurry to wash it down with
>Furiously gobble the entire thing in four minutes
>Crash for 12-hours
>Wake up just intime to see mum home from work
>She's exhausted as hell but brought me the same order without asking just to make sure I don't wake her again
>I do anyway
Kek fucking normalfags
Im enjoying these so much, keep going
>29 years old
>In my play room
>Need to make poo
>Lean over my inflatable ottoman
>Put my toy dump truck between my legs and make a shipment.
>Poo-poo is a little runnier than usual, but it doesn't matter.
>*vroom-vroom*
>Now I'm hauling a fresh load across the country
>Mummy brings in my lunch (nachos. I like to change it up)
>"user, I told you not to play with your poo poo!"
>I'm getting real fucking tired of hearing this.
>Flip the plate of nachos into the wall
>Start punching my own head
>"user stop PLEASE STOP!" she screams
>You made me do this I say.
>She runs out of the room to get the tethers to tie my arms back and stop me hitting myself
>Stand behind the door and wait for her to come back.
>As soon as she runs back in I punch her directly in the face as hard as I can, making a weird, wet cracking sound.
>She falls over and hits her head on my Dinosaur Kingdom table.
>I go back to playing with my toy trucks and stuffed animals
>She wakes up a bit later
>I don't say anything, I just stare at her
>She quietly leaves the room, rubbing her fresh bruise
>I can hear her crying from her room.
>Am I worried? No. Regretful? Certainly not.
>I'll wait it out and things will go back to normal.
>It's easy for me to be a good boy.
>If Mummy does what I say I'll be a good little boy.
If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
>shit my pants more than once a week
>cant do anything beyond addition and subtraction and even then I can only do it in intervals up to 12
>people still talk to me in a baby voice even though im adult
>the cashier has to scan my debit card for me or ill mess up
>cant pee standing up
>burn the oven mitts all the time because I always turn on the wrong burners and mommy yells at me
>try to fill my cuppy up with ice but it always overflows because I hold the button too long
>dont know how to make my bed so I need mommy to fix the sheets all the time
>got a kitten for a present and loved it like crazy but ended up killing it when I accidentally sat on it
>dont know how to button up my own shirts
>people make fun of me because my shoes are always on the wrong feet and I still have to wear velcro sneakers
>never learned how to cut my food with a knife and fork so when we go out we have to ask the kitchen to do it special
>half the time forced to order off kids menu because I dont know what im ordering otherwise
>cant remember my television channels when cartoons are on so mommy has to change it for me
>spent my entire life in special ed even though I was too self aware to enjoy it
Go die alone and cold in the wild as nature intended you to.
>25 years old
>in Mcdonalds for their My Little Pony toy promotion
>get mom to order me 10 Happy Meals all with girl toys
>she looks at the ground and sheepishly says "But user, you're getting a little heavy. Maybe you should only have 6 Happy Meals."
>stand on her feet and refuse to move until she complies with my order
>she cannot move and almost falls as she tries to pull her feet out from under mine
>the bitch begins to cry as she realizes I have trapped her, checkmate whore
>she quietly agrees that big boys need ten Happy Meals and she goes to pay for the food
>while she is ordering I get on my hands and knees, she hands the packages of food to me
>I grab the bags with my mouth and begin walking on all fours to the play area
>I slowly crawl up the slide, barely fitting whilst letting out enormous amounts of gas
>once I'm inside the main play area my flatulence has become to over powering that it even brought a tear to my eye
>the children playing inside begin to run out, complaining of the putrid smell
>I yell "get out normie scum! I claim this as the beta uprising headquarters!"
>I sit in the center of the play gym and begin to have a picnic with my happy meals
>I give each pony a bit of cheeseburger
>I'm setting up an awesome play story with my ponies when my bitch mom and the mcdonalds manager come into the play area
>"Sir we have been getting complaints about an adult in the play area. You must be under 8 years old to use it."
>tell him to fuck off
>mcdonalds employees begin entering the play structure
>my mom is yelling that she can reason with me but I don't negotiate with normalfags
>push my back against the wall and start kicking them as they come towards me
>all of the weight of the normie invasion plus my 350lb-self breaks the play structure
>I fall through to the ball pit, the entire structure collapses
>as the normies try to save a girl trapped under the structure, we escape
>mom begins crying in the van
>make her stop at Dairy Queen for dessert
>wake up at 2pm
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she walks to the kitchen trying hard not to vomit from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>colored most of it so I start drawing doodles outside the lines
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am
>mfw
Bump
>Wake up at 4pm
>Hear talking downstairs
>Start yelling I NEED MY BIG BOY SLEEP
>Waddle over to the door, knock poo-poo jar over
>*whoops, guess mommy has some work to do* I knock over another just for good measure.
>Waddle down the stairs to living room. Mommy is talking to a lady in a business suit about "coverage"
>I NEED MY BIGBOY SLEEP
>Mommy looks in my direction and apologizes to the lady.
>Notice that lady has really pretty hair
>Mommy tells me to go upstairs
>Lady has really really pretty hair
>My pee-pee goes hardy-wardy
>The diaper pops off from the force of my pee-pee, leaving me naked except for my Fluttershy t-shirt
>"Mommy is this the girlie-friendie I asked for?"
>I can't believe that fucking bitch finally did something right.
>Mommy looks really emberassed and tells me to go upstairs. The lady is really scared.
>Start waddling over to the lady.
>She recoils back in horror.
>Keep waddling over.
>I slip on the diaper around my ankles and fall to the ground.
>I do a big poo poo and begin crying on the ground, but my pee-pee is still hardy-wardy at my new girlie-friendie, so I keep crawling towards her
>The lady turns around and runs out the door
>Mommy has tears in her eyes, tries to lift me off the ground
>"Mommy, was she my girlie-friendie you got me?"
>She brushes the tears off her face and nods
>"Yes dear, s-she's just embarrassed. She's never seen a boy as handsome as you before!" She says as she wipes away another tear.
>I smile, proud of how handsome I am
>Mommy tells me that maybe if I earn enough good boy points, she will get me another girlie
>She pulls me up the stairs and starts cleaning the floor
>Uh-oh, my pee-pee is still hard
>I get out of my bed and walk up behind mommy
>Tell her she can be my girlie-friendie too
>She looks kind of disgusted for some reason, says mommy can't do that
>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>She sucks my weenie-peenie to make me stop yelling
Good day today.
Greentext stories server
(Take off extra dot)
discord..gg
/PdMsWwn
>ever since the GBP inflation I've been a little short on cashies
>need more and I need it fast!
>suddenly I get a brainwave
>i slam my body against my mummy's bedroom door, it flies open and I do a gangsta walk in but I'm quickly winded, my cleanest cargo shorts pulled to my knees, my Hannah Montana night shirt tucked into my undies, and my best MAGA cap worn backwards and tilted on my head (something I kissed it for beforehand as a preemptive apology)
>"ay baby wassup, it's yo boy Tendie Fresh in da houuuuse"
>ever since that jungle noise they call (c)rap music has become popular again after years of being rightfully hated by any civilized member of society, I decided to join the fad and become a rapper too
>she sighs "user please go back to sleep. It's 3 AM and I have to get ready for work in a few hours"
>"ay ay ay hoe, don't diss me, I'm here to give yo ass a concert," I feel like I'm doing very well at emulating a black person despite not having any experience being around one, "I call dis single 'Poopoo in da streetz,' I wrote it while I was in a very dark place"
>she massages her temples and sighs again
>i give her the best performance ever, it's a masterpiece of dancing, lyrics, and vocal music. I feel like it's worth a hefty reward of GBP
>I'm breathing heavily but I'm asking for the reward anyway
>she laughs, "you don't just walk in here, scream about hating the Jews between loud 'dun duns' that you make with your mouth and ask for points reserved for when you do something good."
>that whorebag is sitting there mocking me! Me! Her special little angel!
>i almost want to run back to my room crying and poopooing my pants out of embarrassment, but I decide to do what all black people do when their mummy's disrespect them
>i slapped her hard and she collapsed against the bed
>I take her hand and I write a 500,000 GBP coupon in her name with it
>I quickly waddle back to my room with it, farting frantically
>mfw I get more tendies and I'm super hip
Are people actually taking this green text seriously?
>Be me
>24, 400 pound big boy
>Sitting in my mommys basement and playing Halo 3AM on the floor, couch broke last week
>Suddenly feel the familiar sensation of hunger, after all a big boy needs his food
>"Mummy mummy!! My tum tum is hungry again!!"
>I wait for 5 seconds, still no reply from the bitch
>"MUMMY MUMMY!!! TUM TUM IS TALKING AGAIN!!!
>The basement door opens and mummy comes down in her pyjamas
>"B-but user, it is 3 AM and you ate just 20 minutes ag.."
>I let out a bellowing fart through my diapers and stain it with shit to show her who is
the dominant in the household
>Throw some of my my pee-pee jars at her
>"Big boy is hungry now, give me food or I will make bad poopies!"
>My mom starts to cry and runs upstairs
>After 20 seconds I hear the familiar sound of the microwave and the scent of chicken tendies
>Mfw I am living the good life
>be me
>Mommy's Roly Poly Baby Booby-boo
>Playing Warframe
>2 days to finish Mag Prime
>lolno
>Go to rush. No platinum
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Bellow for mommy to bring her credit card
>No mommy.
>THIS SHALL NOT STAND!
>Heft self out of limited edition DXRacer gaming chair, farting to propel myself upwards
> Waddle from room, kicking over poopy bottle in the process. Oh well, mess for mommy to clean!
>Glance at GBP calendar
>600 Good Boy Points
>Stop to make out with hot waifu on calendar to celebrate
>She wants the D
>Go downstairs
"MOMMY BRING THE CREDIT CARD! YOUR BABY WANTS TO OWN SCRUBS HARD!"
>Mommy and new daddy Chad on couch.
>Mommy's crusty roast beef is eating new daddy's fist!
>New Daddy deserves it... Or is he trying to crawl up mommy and become the new baby?!
>ENGAGE REEEEEEEEEEE
>Fall down stairs, wallow my way to the bottom
>Piss and shit everywhere
>Vomit to lubricate my path, a glorious penguin in motion
>Slide across floor, slam into couch
>New daddy Chad screams, yanks fist out of mommy's vagina
"BABY KNOWS THE GAME YOU PLAY, MAMA'S FAVORITE HE WILL STAY!"
>New Daddy tries to kick me, slips on puke puddle
>Hits head on coffee table, goes to sleep
>Heft myself up, punch mommy in crusty cooter
"CREDIT CARD!"
Mommy cried tears of joy, and I pooped on New Daddy to show I'm the favorite. Life is good, Yea Forums.
MOAR
REEEEEEEEE
>be me
>530 Lbs of mummy's golden child
>sitting on toilet squeezing out a big poo that I've held for a day
>finally drops out along with a BRRRRRAPPPPPPFFPPPPTHTHTHTPPP
>look in the bowl at my masterpiece, skidmarks longer than the M6
>"Mummy, MUMMY, come and see what I did!"
>mum unlocks the door from the outside using the special key for emergencies
>proudly point at the toilet bowl
>wow! You've done so well, and it's all in the bowl too! That's 10 good boy points
>clap my hands because I've been saving my good boy points for weeks, finally at 150
>cash them all in for a special hour with my catgirl
>mummy phones up the people who send the catgirl and talks with them
>hear girl arrive at the door and sit on the end of my bed and take off my pants for the first time in 2 days
>can hear them talking downstairs
>"God, it's not him again is it? He's getting too large for me to do anything"
>hear mummy say "Please, we have a system and it's the only way I can get him to do anything"
>girl sighs and says "I have the catears headband too, I'll be wearing it again?"
>clap my hands because I can tell special time is about to begin
>girl comes into my room and meows and purrs
>have special fun time, she makes my peepee feel good
>the next 50 minutes are spent while I tell her about my comics and my video games
>she's really impressed
>eventually leaves after the hour is up
>mummy comes up with my snack of tendies for being such a good boy
>"enjoy your tendies, snookums, I have to leave now for my nightshift"
>eat my tendies in bed and dream about my waifu Mikasa-san afterwards
How can anyone diss the NEET life? Enjoy your long hours and ungrateful wives, wageslaves.
This is just fucking pathetic. Thank god your not my kid I would've cut your tongue out, and there ain't shit you would've done. Your clearly far too dependent or your family to even consider leaving, so if I beat you senseless on a daily basis, you could either sit there and take it, or call the cops. I'd go to jail but then you'd sit in that fucking house and rot to death because we both know you don't have the first fucking clue of how do shit for yourself. But hey I've seen a bunchance of people live out their lives as parasites, one of them even made it to thirty two before killing himself, in the end they all kill themselves.
These guys are either trying to counter-troll or are projecting super fucking hard.
Unfortunately, autism can be that strong.
>taking it so seriously you write a paragraph
Too long didn't read faggot, nice job biting an empty hook.
>sisters birthday last week
>her and her friends are having a party downstairs
>she begged my mom to let her do it somewhere else, but my mom said that she would make sure I wouldnt bother her and her friends
>she is 15 and her friends are around the same age
>all her friends are vapid cunts and I dont want to risk losing my virginity to anyone but my 10/10 virgin dream girl so I decide to stay in my room
>just finished watching a couple episodes of mlp
>those qt ponies always make me parched
>sneak past mother and go downstairs into the kitchen to grab another two liter mountain dew
>I crawl on the floor like a snake so I can slither by them without them see me
>their slut senses must have picked up on the fact that Im only wearing my semen stained undies
>they start to leave the kitchen revolted
>out of the corner of my eye I see the most beautiful semen demon you an imagine
>pig tails
>short shorts
>no make up
>she couldnt have been older than 12
>literally perfect
>I run over to her and grab her to take her into my room
>she starts screaming when i put my hands on that soft pale skin
>all the girls seem really scared
>lol. like I would be tainted by their gaping cunts
>i hiss at them and drag this beute up the stairs by the root of her hair
>dad must have heard the screaming and came to see what was happening
>right before I get into my room he hits me in the back of my head with a closed fist
>"user bad!" he screams
>i drop the girl, turn and hiss at him.
>barely make it into my room with my life
Didnt get any sweet loli puss, but mom and dad got a visit from the police with the girls parents. kek. those sluts wont be coming back anytime soon
you're a fucking loser user, but I believe in you, you can get better. please find a job and make your mom proud.
Kys, you're just a fucking parasite. Literally nobody will cry your death
>be 32 year old beautiful, happy bouncy baby boy with a bright future ahead of me
>6pm, just woke up, getting my morning ceweals
>enter mommy, she sits down in front of me as i happily pick apart the marshmellows in the cereal and eat them with a spoon full of milkies
>"honey, your dad and i have been talking, and we think its finally time for you to get a job..."
>i stop her immediately after that
>"mommy...what are you...?"
>an incomprehensible rage takes over me, i quickly lash out at mommy
>grab the poopy diaper that she hasnt fucking changed since last night
>throw it right at her face, makes a big splat sound and she falls back from the force and velocity of the poopy diaper smacking her
>as she is stunned and wiping the poopies off, i stand over her with my fists clutched, she is cowering with her hands over her face, stupid fucking bitch
>i remind her that baby doesnt like it when his diaper changing bonding with mommy time is forgotten
>start peeing all over her, she probably wants to be washed off by now
>give her a black eye just for good measure so she doesnt tell anyone what happened
>later that night, she comes in with a plate full of fresh wendys tendies and a new diaper, kisses my forehead and tells me to have a good night at 10 am
>My eyes open and see the blank computer screen
>Mommy must've cut the power to my room
>Joke's on her, over the course of 7 years I have accumulated approximately 13 million Good Boy Points, which should be enough to last me until death
>"TENDIES, TENDIES, IT IS TIME. MUMMY IS AN UNGRATEFUL SWINE," I wheeze with a devilish grin
>Rise up from my chair, a thick layer of grease and mold sticking to the back of my cumstained asscheeks
>Waddle over to the bedroom door, feet squishing through poop and pee
>Light shines in through the windows, realize that I haven't seen the sun in 19 years
>Oh well
>I hear Mommy crying in the other room, slowly move in that direction
>She's sitting at the kitchen table, tears and snot running down her face
>"FIRE DEEP WITHIN MY LOINS, MUMMY WILL PLEASE MY ACHING GROIN."
>The sobbing stops and she looks up
>I'm naked, my cock proudly standing at half mast, most of it weighed down by the various rolls of belly fat
>I slam her weak, anorexic body to the floor and tell her to start sucking
>She's trying to resist, lol
>Easily snap her jaw open
>Her blood makes for excellent lubricant
>"MUMMY SHALL LICK AND LICK, PROVE THY WORTHINESS OF YOUR BABY'S DICK."
>Her teeth begin to fall out, she doesn't need them anyway
>I cum and she makes gurgling noises, spasming and pointing to her throat
>I left her up by her hair, she's not even recognizable anymore
>"MUMMY IS A CHURLISH COW, TO THE FREEZER YOU GO NOW."
>She grabs a box of my favorite brand
>It's Kid Cuisine
Good fun and good food go great together with Kid Cuisine!
You remind me of the user in California that was a NEET leeching of his parents that one day decided to grope his mom's ass getting him kicked out of the house onto the streets. I wonder where he is now...
>mfw everyone thinks copypasta is real
what a shitty place Yea Forums has become
I know it's a meme but I can't help but feel fucking sad when reading these
bump
Hahaha Holy shit