Can someone give ma a copy and paste of endgame spoilers, so I can spoil it for more people?

wolverine kills thanos and rapes Tobe Maguire

Batman is a woman

Movie picks up 5+ years later.

Remaining Avengers are scattered and living in dark times.

Ant Man tells others of Quantum Realm, they realize they may be able to make a time machine of it.

Tony and Pepper are married. She's pregnant with their daughter, Morgan.

Professor Hulk helps build the time machine.

Black Widow retrieves Hawkeye who had gone dark.

Fat Thor is hanging out with Korg and Meik.

Most go back to the Battle of New York to start getting stones from the past.

Professor Hulk retrieves the Time Stone. (The Ancient One may or may not be the person to give it to him.)

Cap has to say Hail Hydra to Crossbones to get the briefcase that contains the Tessaract.

Trying to work around past events to get stones, Loki gets away with the Tessaract.

Past Cap and Present Cap run into each other, Old Cap thinks Present Cap is Loki in disguise which is why they fight.

Thor and Rocket go to Asgard to retrieve the Aether from Jane Foster's body. This is when Thor retrieves Mjolnir.

War Machine and Nebula go to Morag.

Black Widow and Hawkeye go to Voromir.

(2/3)

There are no spoilers the "good" guys win, and Ironman dies boohoo the end.
There saved you like five hours of pure shit.

Anyone else think the whole hulk thing was a metaphor for transgenderism?

there was a spoiler gif circling around, that was a girl in the thumbnail, but when you clicked it, it showed a spoiler of the movie. anyone have it?

This

Captain Marvel rescues Stark and Nebula's ship from space and brings it to the Avengers' HQ.
Avengers find Thanos.
They discover that Thanos destroyed the Stones with their own power to eliminate the chance of someone stealing them and undoing what he did in the last movie.
Thor then, decapitates Thanos.
Everything remains the same for 5 years with everyone who got wiped out, dead.
A rat activates Dr. Pym's portal in the van. Antman comes out.
Antman tells avengers that 5 years only felt like 5 hours. Therefore, time can be manipulated in the quantum realm.
Stark comes with a way to manipulate quantum realm and builds a time machine.
Avengers assemble once again. Thor is fat (he got depressed), now.
Avengers use time machine to retrieve the stones, before Thanos had the chance to get them.
Hawkeye and Widow go for the Soul Stone. They battle each other. They both want to die and not let the other sacrifice for the greater good. Black Widow outsmarts Hawkeye and jump from the cliff and dies. Hawkeye retrieve the Soul Stone.
Nebula goes for the Power Stone. For some reason, Nebula who went to the past (Nebula from Present) synchronizes her mind with Past Nebula who's loyal to Thanos. Nebula from past reveals the Avenger's plan to Thanos and Thanos discovers that his plan to wipe 50% of life worked.

Thanos captures Present Nebula and uses her Time Traveling device to go back to the present and get the Infinity Gauntlet (new one made by the Avengers with the stones they got from the past) back.
All Avengers apart from Widow comes back to the present. They make a new Infinity Gauntlet and Hulk uses it to revive everyone that had been wiped out by Thanos.
Just after that, Thanos from the past invades the present, nuking the Avengers' HQ.
Battle starts. Thor, Iron man and Captain America attacks Thanos. Thanos kick their asses. Captain America lifts Mjolnir from the ground and beats Thanos with it, even summoning lightning strikes.
Thanos beats Cap which was the last hero standing.
Then, portals appear from nowhere. Dr. Strange and the other sorcerers bring every superhero that got revived including Wakanda's army to the battlefield.
Captain Marvel also appears to destroy Thanos mothership.
The heroes want to send back the Infinity Glove through the quantum portal in the van. Thanos destroys the portal and put the glove on. Just before he snaps his fingers wipe out everyone from the Universe, Iron Man steals all the Stones and absorbs them in his armor. Stark wipe out Thanos and his alien army with the Stones' magic. The magic is so powerful they kill Stark in the process.
Captain America goes back to the past to return the Stones in their original timelines. He doesn't come back to the present because he decide to stay in the past to live with agent Carter.
An old Cap appears and says he lived a happy married life and gives his shield to Falcon, passing on him the Captain America's mantle.
The end.

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an old bitch cried next to me when stark died.

thanks

I will add a bonus.
Plothole: Present Nebula while being in the past only had Pym's particle charge to make one time travel.
Thanos gets Present Nebula charge.
Past Nebula goes to the present before Thanos.
Thanos then, goes to the present with his army.
How, though? There was only one charge for one time travel, but somehow Thanos and Past Nebula were able to travel to the present, separately.

That's a far fucking reach my dude

man,
that makes endgame seem way too convoluted and not worth the watch

>be watching the end of Infinity War
>OK so they're just going to fuck around with time in the next movie and being Marvel it'll be women & nigs who save everyone
>profit

Spoil people.
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