I got a Jury Summons, Yea Forums how do I get out of serving?

Yeah, serve your community by being manipulated into being a ventriloquist dummy for some judge. Ever notice how the only people on a jury are either too stupid to figure out how to get out of it, or are old and have nothing better to to?
If you really give a shit about your community, go clean some trash on the side of the road, or fill in a pothole or something. At least you will have accomplished something.

Just do it you pussy

You tell them you can't be unbiased on the subject of the case and get your self dismissed.

This

Say you are mentally ill or can’t be unbiased

Tell them you are racist.

Move to a different county and write them a letter informing that you're no longer in that county.

Someone care to enlighten me on the nighmarish horrors that will haunt my existance if I ever have the dire fate of being called by jury summons?

Yes, so racist that not matter what race the person is you will 100% consider them guilty. Works every time

At every opportunity, mention that your favorite film is Runaway Jury with John Cusack

Fun fact: most often juries are assembled for civil cases. Your chances of being selected for a criminal trial are comparatively small.

ITT: People who have never done jury duty
Generally speaking they'll fine you if they know you're trying to get out of it
Your best bet is usually just showing up as your chances of getting selected for jury are almost always less than 50% anyway

If you're so vehemently scared of real life that you're willing to risk a fine instead of going to court for a few days then telling them you're racist or prejudice in some way is usually the easiest way to get booted

Remember, people use every trick in teh book to get out of jury duty, they typically know when you're full of shit and can and will fine you

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Just print this thread and take it with you and hand it to the judge. You'll be excused.

But they have to prove you got the summons.

Went to jury duty , dude was looking up little girls skirts, found him not guilty, was fun

This

Say I have biases wihich may pervert the course of justice. I dunno if its illegal but oh well.

you're not likely to get picked anyways. Just go.

as soon as you get into the courthouse just start repeatedly screaming "Jury nullification!"
it is illegal to place a person on a jury that knows about it

Save all your posts with the words "nigger" and "faggot" in it. Mail it in with questionnaire

Serve my man, it's a life changing experience, all the soap dropping shit is just a myth, I'm serious, as serious as a Yea Forumsro can get.

report wearing a klalnsman's robes
let the clerk know you are there for jury duty by asking "Which of these niggers do I get to help hang?"

Say you are transgender and can't even decide your own gender let alone whether someone else is guilty or innocent. You get a free pass also because you're mentally ill but in an acceptable way that doesn't even require any psychologist proof.

Go in there and start talking you'll be dismissed within an hour.

"If I convince the rest of the jury to recommend the death penalty, can I be on the firing squad?"

if you get a Dr excuse for something, they will remove you from the list permanently.

reek like weed and be loud

try and clog their toilet

Tell the judge you want to fuck his wife

Say that you have a bias against the defendants race

100% way out of jury duty.
youtu.be/uqH_Y1TupoQ

underrated post

Either go with the I hate the fucking pigs everyone is innocent and then tell them you believe in jury nullification stress that, jury nullification, they will shit
or
Tell them that if the police arrested the son of a bitch he/she MUST BE guilty, there aren't really any innocent people and then ask if you can put the potential defendant to death.

Why wouldnt you want to be on a jury? I bet its interesting af.

Here's the thing: You have to bring it up. They can't ask if you believe in jury nullification. They will ask something along the lines of whether you will vote on the verdict (or whatever similar terminology) based purely on the letter of the law. You will be under oath when you do so. If you are still chosen for jury duty, and you evoke jury nullification, you can go to jail.

Look bitch I know EXACTLY what I'm talking aboutpic related

duckduckgo.com/?q=jury nullification get me out of jury duty&t=lm&atb=v166-1__&ia=web

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Say you're biased against the accused for "x" reason. Gotten out of duty twice with that. Judge hated me because he knew what I was up to but they have to release you lol.

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Just go. If the case sucks, be very opinionated, or flat out racist/sexist/whatever. If it's an interesting case, do whatever, you probably won't get picked anyway. Either way, just bite the bullet and go. Being a part of a jury is one of that powers we as individuals have in this country.

You could pee on the DA's shoes...

Just shit your pants. Sadly it works.

Adaquite for terms of release

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It says it right on the notice. Plus you get one "get out of jury duty free" pass. If you must go just say they wouldn't have been arrested if they weren't guilty. You'll be excused.

This, some idiot decided to try and be "real" when the judge asked him if he was able to serve unbiased. He ended up getting picked anyway and got a speech from the judge in front of the rest of us about being a selfish asshole. Shit was comedy but yeah dont do that.

Sort of the go to if you need a last ditch method...

Do it. You might have a chance to send a nigger to the chair, thus serving your community.

If someone is so vehemently against jury duty that they are willing to lie to get out of it, how can you automatically trust them to serve on a jury and be unbiased if they literally proved they're willing to lie to get out of it? By that same logic they would literally lie and go with whatever side is winning just so the jury ends quicker thus saying they can't be unbiased.

>how do I get out of serving?

I hate jury duty. Just freakin' hate it. There are actually people who like it. And I think THOSE PEOPLE ought to be the ones called. Have a sign up system for it.

One thing you can do is show up, and when they interview you, just keep up a continuous mumble of "guilty, guilty, guilty..." spoken just loud enough that the defense lawyer can hear you. You'll get a waiver.

my ex filled out the questions and drew swastikas all over the paper. lol

Ex: one trial was a guy who got caught with meth and a scale. Pleaded "not guilty". When they asked me about it I just laughed and said "you got caught with the damn scale". Out withen 5 minutes.

Say you don't know English.

Jury is easy: Brown = Guilty, White = Not Guilty. Simple.

Got asked some questions last time I went. Said I was happy to do my civil duty to nullify unjust laws. Judge basically told me to shut up and get out. 20 years later, never been called for jury duty again.

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Say you are probably death penalty even if it is fir a traffic infraction

>Why wouldnt you want to be on a jury?
Why would you?

Tell the judge you hate niggers.

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Lawyer: "do you think you can arrive at an unbiased decision?"

You: "yes. Totally. Unless the guy is black, mexican, Asian or a Jew...then fuck him."

Guaranteed to work!