What’s a way to make like $7000 soon? Real answers only

brilliant

Hoe yourself out to fags.

Only drugs realistically. Even that would take time.

Would be nice to live there.

A car and like 400 bucks is all you need, take the big risks or just be another chump working a mcjob for 12 bucks an hour.

400 bucks? I live in NJ, not next to texas. I would need about $8-10k realistically unless I wanted to risk homelessness. No car. Most people my age don't own a car.

Military Signup bonus is usually around that but they turn you into a retard so you spend it on stupid shit. If you're computer savy you could attach ransomware to warez downloads and try to extort ppl. If you're a hot chick you can sleep with old men for money. Or if your a young guy you can sleep with old gay men for money. if you're able to travel you can buy weed where it's legal and sneak it into places it's not to sell. gl and godspeed.

Pay day loan

Rob banks.

>Be super cautious. Research how it’s done and how people get caught.
>Do not use any clothing you’ve ever been seen in before.
>Use disguises. The more elaborate, the better. Try using makeup effects to change your apparent race.
>Security footage of you will begin circulating as soon as you rob your first bank. If you get recognized walking into a different bank during a later robbery (VERY common), police will be called before you even reach the cashier.
>Armed robber is a much stricter sentence. So ya e a note, not a weapon. Employees are trained to give you the money without question, so it won’t affect your take.
>Plan your getaway. Park somewhere your vehicle isn’t visible by bank employees or parking lot cameras.
>Tell nobody. Not your wife. Not your parents. Not your best friend in the whole fucking world.
>If you want to be extra cautious, research states that give more lenient sentencing and do your crimes there. For instance, it’s better to rob a bank in Orego than Texas.
>Be cautious when deposit the money. Small sums at a time. Launder if possible. You don’t want to get flagged by the IRS.

You’ll come out with $3k-$9k per bank. 50-75% of bank robbers get away with it the first time. Don’t get greedy. Don’t get sloppy.

Kill my ex wife. Half up front, half after. Need to do it this weekend, I'm away on a business trip.

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no credit lol. Credit is for the wealthy.

no car eh. what age we talking here? if it's under 18 drugs are where it's at. if you are older you gotta make some tough choices. also how quick do you have to make this money? a year? easy. a week not so much.

Credit is for poor people. Wealthy just buy the shit with cash

Credit is for people who can afford choosing between rent, food, or electric every month. And taking odd jobs to fill the gaps.

No. Wealthy people buy it with credit then find ways to write off the debt or load it onto someone else, like a business.

Pretty good chance that if you have no connections, then being a thief is probably your best bet.

*Use a note

Also, you don’t need a car. I knew a guy who robbed banks, but didn’t have a car.

He was successful for a while. He got caught by doing the following:

>Walked into one bank, chickened out and left. Teller thought he was sketchy, thought she recognized his pic, called the police.
>Went down the street to another bank. Robbed it. Ran out with the cash.
>Traveled to a third bank. Robbed that too. Barely got out the door.

He made a lot of mistakes. If he followed my advice and wasn’t a retarded, he’d still be free. Hopefully you’re smarter than all that.

Shake and bake if you grind for a couple weeks. Pick up some unspecified cold meds and some draino and batteries, for around $50 you can make around 300 depending on how desperate people are.

It's definitely not legal, and you're liable to fuck yourself up trying if you dont know what you're doing. I wont explain the process, all I'll say is it can make you a lot of loot in a short amount of time if you're as careful as you are stupid.

Op here, I’m trying to buy a different car that costs that much because of rarity and such, and was wondering if there was a realistic way to get it without running too much risk

^also I do have a job but it’s filling my household needs at this point and not much more

I have no credit

Donate your left nut for 30-50k

Exactly, credit is interest free loans if you pay it back on time or never at all. Meanwhile your actually money can continue to make you more money.

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Op here
I just need a co-signer with decent credit for the loan but none of my family will help :’(

Send me the details
Mickdoodle @ iCloud. Com

One of the most successful bank robbers used to park a uhaul streets away from bank with the back open and ramp down, ride crotch rocket to bank, rob, then ride the crotch rocket into the uhaul where he also changed clothes, etc. Then drove off in the uhaul. Did this for decades.

Depends how old u r op. If ur young sell nudes online or do cam shows. Or if u really want ut fast do bj/hjs for money.

All these muffugers telling you to whore yourself out. It's a pretty good idea. Some rich gay dude might give you the whole 7k in exchange for your gayginity.

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Op here, where can I find dudes to give up my gayginity to?

pfff. ummm. ask r/sexworkers?

nigga. that was a movie

>sell your neighbor's kid's

Yes it was and the former robber was the script consultant. The place beyond the pines

I call bullshit on 3k-9k per bank.

I worked as a teller at a Chase for a few years and I can tell you that yes while most drawer limits were over 1000 (meaning that any one person couldn't have a standing amount of cash greater than their limit--once you crossed that line you had to visit the safe), there's no way the tellers are giving up their entire drawer to the robber since they can't generally see the tray in there anyway from their side.

Furthermore, slipping the dye pack into their stack/bag not only looks convincing but adds weight. This is a mechanical device that is disguised as a standard wrap of bills, it has several real bills on each side and then explodes once a perimeter is breached. If 20's are used then maybe it's worth 200 bucks, but we always had them in our 5s.

Incidentally, if you successfully deployed a dye pack during a robbery you got a bonus from the company that manufactured them. About a grand, not bad.

I got robbed at gunpoint and when it was all said and done I gave that fucker $116. Got my dye pack bonus and got to watch him get carted off to jail a couple months later when I had to go to court for his string of robberies.

Basically--this shit is not lucrative and it's not like the movies. I'm sure that most banks follow similar protocols as what we did there, there's plenty of training so the peeps behind the line know exactly what to do in the situation. The only way you're getting a decent amount of cash is if you get into the safe, but even that is always dual control (takes two people to open) and is sometimes time-locked (can't be opened until a certain amount of time has passed). All of these factors make it very difficult to get a big take and not get caught.

Don't bother.

re-think your life choices that got you to the point where you're asking Yea Forums how to make a bunch of money quickly.

Bullshit. Police LOVE catching newbie drug dealers. There's a reason why older men who've been drug dealers have given up the trade: its not worth it. You get caught eventually.

This

Cops and banks have decades of experience catching thieves both new and experienced. The idea that OP could somehow outsmart law enforcement is laughable. The only people saying he could are either idiots who don't know what they're talking about or sociopathic criminals who know he'd get caught and hope they can make his life any worse.

Here's the deal:
1) Re-evaluate your life choices that got you into this situation. You clearly fucked up. If you don't face those problems, then you won't be able to fix your current situation.
2) Talk to an accountant or an attorney about how to fix your situation. Hell, you might get lucky and find out you can get a loan to fix things.
3) Don't get yourself into this situation again. Law enforcement really love desperate criminals because they're dumb as fuck and go too far. There's nothing a cop would love more than to make your life 100X worse.

Don't try to kill your kids(you lose custody battles that way) and don't get in debt.

Advice from a noob who got caught early, and thinks that everyone else has had the same exp XD

Cool story bro, sell a kidney

Become a porn star. I got paid $1200 for 2 days of shooting. Im a man. My whole theme was Marathon Runner (cumming multiple times but it was just a series of clever editing and shots).
Did more vids after that for the same pay.

Speak for yourself. I've never been arrested because I don't commit crimes.

theres so many dumbass laws across the world (including wherever you live, i guaruntee it) that im pretty sure 99% of people have committed some sort of crime, not even including piracy and shit

You know what I meant. The majority of dumbass laws aren't even enforced.

OP is desperate and poor. They'd take advantage of him and act like paying him $300 for an hour of anal is somehow a generous offer and his desperate ass would accept. Then the check would bounce.