If you had the power to make anyone in the world violently shit their pants at any time, who would it be, and when?

if you had the power to make anyone in the world violently shit their pants at any time, who would it be, and when?

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Vladimir Putin during a session of the Russian parliament

Everyone. All at once.

barack obama in a very ublic place

Kim jong un during a parade or some shit. Look at your god now....

There are so many options, but I'd set a few things in stone:

>violently shit their pants

Let's assume it's diarrhoea, the kind that comes from poorly cooked seafood from a chinese take-away restaurant. You know, where you don't vomit, but you get stomach convulsions every 15 minutes for 2 days straight (so you can't even sleep), and for the last day you're just pissing out of your asshole. Oh, and it burns.

As for whom and where and when?

>Women's final at Wimbledon, where competitors are forced to wear white. I don't care who, and the timing doesn't matter either. Perhaps both players, but at different times so the court is destroyed.

>Anyone going for a test drive in a Rolls-Royce, just as they pull into the dealership.

>Macron's wife when she's walking up the stairs. It's just fitting somehow.

>Olympics: gymnastics, figure skating (pairs), halfway through the bobsled run by the driver (in fours), weight lifting (as they lift), during any of the aquatic events (water polo, 100 meter freestyle, synchronized diving, etc.), wrestling and judo, the first competitor in the triple jump (just as they enter the pit)...the list is endless in sporting events.

>Everyone at a graduation ceremony...all those rented gowns would be fucked. Same with women trying on bridal gowns.

>Everyone in a long-distance flight that is currently over the Pacific ocean, 3 hours away from landing anywhere. Similarly, everyone on a cruise ship.

>Anyone who enters the Sistine Chapel, and anyone who stands in front of the Mona Lisa.

I could go on and on and on...

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Ben Shapiro in the middle of an episode. Even as a fan, I would relish in the moment where he lets out an audible rip and tries to keep his cool as his tuchis flows hot brown mustard and lumps of matzah ball all over his indochino suit pants. Dude is super rigid and it'd be the funniest thing to watch.

>Everyone in a 'hot' yoga class, or pilates, or any other class that involves stretching where your head is 4 inches from the ass of the person in front of you. Also, related, anytime anyone is playing Twister.

>Everyone in the top level of a double-decker bus, so it rains shit down on the passengers below. In rush hour...on Oxford street.

>Meghan Markle. Anytime she has a formal event. I don't care...she's ruining the Royal Family. Similarly, Alex Kurtzman. All the time, permanently. I don't care, he's ruining everything.

>anytime the mailman doesn't ring the doorbell for a special delivery but just leaves that shit on the front porch EVEN THOUGH I'M HOME. He gets the shits.

>Anyone who joins the '6 items or less' line and has more items. They get the shits.

>Anyone who walks their dog but lets it shit on my lawn and not clean it up. They get double shits for 2 days. If they do it again, they get double that.

>Jehova's Witnesses, when they come to my door and interrupt my making lovemaking session. They get the shits.

>All the people who play quiddich in real life. Fuck those fake brooms. They get the shits just for organizing a team.

>Steve Kornaki when he's at the big touchscreen. Also Wolf Blitzer in the situation room.

>Anyone in a high-speed elevator, in mid flight. Same with anyone in the middle of a manicure or haircut, anyone walking through an expensive restaurant, and the whole writing staff and cast of SNL.

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>>Meghan Markle. Anytime she has a formal event. I don't care...she's ruining the Royal Family

Who gives a shit- Brit or otherwise- about the royal family?

If it is a permanent power:
Anyone who is serving as President of the United States of America, at any time they are on television.

If I only get one shot, then:
The best athlete on the Russian Women's Gymnastics Team, the moment she lands the vault in the next Olympics.