Facts about you that you would be too embrassed to admit in real life

>I'm in love with a FLAMING GAY FAGGOT BECAUSE I TOO AM A FAGGOT
Fixed.

Worst ITT. Un-ironically end yourself.

I fantasize about being a woman.

still attracted to women and have had many girlfriends etc but I like thinking about what it would be like to be one.

Sometimes I have a mental stroke and start thinking about ending everything and starting drag queen career.

I know, I know.
The worst part is I'm not even a loser or anything.
Good professional job, /fit/, beautiful GF, proud parents, ect.
All while I eat boogers every day like a madman.

I think porn with 16 and+ people should be legal.

Is this real life?

Just move to California and be the faggot that you are.

Not directly in court at the moment, I'm out on my own recognize.

Have heard of X-change?. They have /gif/ threads from time to time, and there is also a sub.

i eat boogers

i don't want a sex change. i just like thinking about it occasionally. i'm still straight and love women. besides being a trans isn't the same as being a real woman.

It's not tranny stuff. It's a pill that turns you into a women.

i think time travel is a god-given right

i have a strong foot fetish

When i was a child I dug a hole in the middle of a playground, took off my pants, and layed down with my dick in the sand hole and started peeing

>currently in court
>Not directly in court

Your shit's not adding up pal

I sniffed some leftover pill from a public bathroom....

>no it's not being a fake woman it's even more faker than that
Good job retard.

How do you identify the strong feet?

Im an alcholic too fam

I haven't gone to work in a month. Like i haven't quit, just been awol.

Why?

Work blows, man.

A month? Unless you an unusual job or a temp, your fired.

i always wonder what yall look like

Navy?

Because I fell into a deep depression. Thought about ending it. Now I am just too pussy after being gone so long to go in an formally quit.

I can't reverse with a trailer hooked up.
Am terrified someone's gonna find out. Like one day I'll be at a friend's and we says 'dude, I gotta move some furniture, can you bring the trailer down the driveway while the rest of us start packing?'

I'm 40 year old virgin
I'm unemployed despite having a CS degree
I live in my parents basement
I never had sex or a gf
I don't have friends
I spent most time online on Yea Forums
I am still a virgin
I often think about killing myself

Sounds normal apart from the 40 years old and never had any sex part

ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

By participating in these kinds of threads you are making your depression worse. There are a number of threads that strive to achieve this and if you want to improve recognizing them and avoiding them is the first step towards a happier life.

Those include, but are not limited to "the perfect height", "dick size", "you should have had a dream life in high school like chads" and many others with more or less reachable goals. Realize that they are meant to present you with problems you cannot solve and thus make you become more miserable. Just like this thread where you are conditioned to ponder about bad memories. Have you ever seen a "proud memory thread"? I haven't.

Remember: You can make a difference and lead the life you deserve, you only have to really want it and work hard.

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Based

Yeah, I'm missing every one of these.

It's easy. Just think "follow the trailer" with the steering wheel. If the trailer is moving right, turn the steering wheel right to correct it straight. You will find it's easy to move the wheel a proportional amount to keep the trailer in a straight line. Just follow the trailer.

>ARE YOU DEPRESSED?
Depression ain't real
>By participating in these kinds of threads you are making your depression worse.
Nah, going in Facebook is worse for "depression".
As is going outside and listening and watching normal people with fulfilling lives having friends, girlfriends families.
Common acts of affection between other people are very hard hitting for a 40 year old virgin.
>There are a number of threads that strive to achieve this and if you want to improve recognizing them and avoiding them is the first step towards a happier life.
Why would they want to do that?
>Those include, but are not limited to "the perfect height", "dick size", "you should have had a dream life in high school like chads" and many others with more or less reachable goals.
What "depresses" me is that Yea Forums - random is not random at all and it has identical threads popping up.
>Realize that they are meant to present you with problems you cannot solve and thus make you become more miserable.
Nah, I handle it fine by myself getting "depressed", I don't need no stinking thread.
>Just like this thread where you are conditioned to ponder about bad memories.
Again, I am reminded of them all by myself, I come here to forget and you are the only somewhat "real" human interaction I have.
You are the only ones who know what a pathetic excuse of a man I am.
>Have you ever seen a "proud memory thread"? I haven't.
There are plenty of those on Facebook.
People gloating about their great past memories and even if they are constructed or dishonest are way more "depressing" than anything on Yea Forums.
>Remember: You can make a difference and lead the life you deserve, you only have to really want it and work hard.
I tried hard and worked hard.
Sometimes though the mistakes and our initial position are very bad and life is just a cosmic joke.
I believe that suffering is all I deserve for committing the biggest sin of all: wasting my life and not living for me but for others

Dude. You rock. Thank you, I will use this advice. And just drive slow I suppose too, take my time.

I'm about to ruin a five day nofap that took forever to do because I usually fap everyday.

let's see, some months ago I managed to have
>creative outlet
>routine
>sleep
>social activity
>healthy diet (at least better than the one know)
>love (somewhat, at least feeling worthy of love and loving someone and having the illusion that they liked me back)
>sun and air
>humour
>therapy

I only missed
>exercise
>meditation

Well, I felt better back then.
Still shit (because 40 year old virgin) and it was a constant battle against my no existing self esteem and confidence but somewhat better in a long time.
But something happened and I lost all of them.
Now I'm feeling shit and nothing good coming my way.

>five day nofap that took forever to do
I believe you'll find it took five days.

Na, private sector software.

This dude is severely depressed

I'm not "depressed" in my opinion because I don't believe depression is real.

He means the proceedings are ongoing - though it's apparent you've never been arrested before. Keep your nose clean, kid.

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I got really pissed at an exgf (now exgf) and punched her in the face so hard I broke out her front teeth. Feel really bad about it. Bought her new teeth then broke up about 2 years later

And miss out on the opportunity to leave her marked as visibly damaged goods? What's the point of doing something if you don't have anything to show for it?

I used to believe the same, until I found there was no other way to describe the shit a few of my friends and myself were going through

>Depression ain't real
Well that's a basis like saying the earth is flat. I guess i'm gonna have to let you live in that believe.
>Common acts of affection / facebook.
Well you are confronted with the fact that you lack something that others have. That is painful, but rightfully so. It SHOULD feel painful because your body wants these things. You have a physical desire for those things, the lack is something you experience as pain. I don't know what you've gone through to be where you are, and i guess telling you that "you can do it" is not gonna cut it so let me put it like this:
You can try to become a better man. There is no guarantee it's gonna work, but you can certainly try because nobody will do it for you. It's either you do that or you sit down until your body expires. The choice is that simple.
You won't be able to fix everything at the same time, so addressing one issue at a time may be a good idea. Consider to get some therapy on the side because a therapist may help you identify problems and will give you insight on how to deal with them.
>Why would they want to do that?
Because i believe some people are simply evil.
>I handle it fine by myself getting "depressed"
You are where you are not by this thread, but this thread isn't making it better. It's enforcing your believe that you suck.
>you are the only somewhat "real" human interaction
Well here's a big problem. Humans are social animals. We NEED social interaction. A smart guy once came up with this pyramid - you can only reach the top happiness levels when the lower ones are fulfilled. And there you are. You cannot get on stage 3 because of your lack of social interaction. If you were coming out of a war torn country just with your life you may be content with your state of life, but as a western being you cannot be, and that is normal. You need to learn social interaction to improve. It is hard, possible much harder for you then most others, but in order to feel better you have to.

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I've been lying about having a doctorate since 2001

She's got other scars from when we fought each other. I've got mine as well from when she had 3 fuckers jump me in a park when she was mad and another when she broke a whiskey bottle across my face

That's some nigger tier drug addict shit there pal. Remove yourself from the gene pool.

I never got this.
Never did this and never understood wtf people would even get the idea to do this.

Never done drugs in my life but apparently she had been the whole time we were together

cont.
>There are plenty of those on Facebook.
Nobody forces you to go there. Social media does not replace actual social interaction, avoid it if you don't feel like looking at others people. (A good portion of humanity including myself don't go there and do very fine.)
>I believe that suffering is all I deserve for committing the biggest sin of all: wasting my life and not living for me but for others
It would seem you've lost all empathy. While that's not a good thing it is an understandable reaction to where i believe your life stands right now, and luckily it is (in my opinion) not the most urgent issue. Your main issue is the lack of social interaction. If you were to try it and become somewhat decent at it you could lead a better life then now without "living for someone". It just makes life more interesting and less hostile. You may end up seeing that most people have very real problems to deal with and that the perfect sharade which is displayed in social media or on tv is not really what people live like. You may be suprised how much in common you have with some people. Maybe just with some nerds or something. There is nothing wrong with finding a group of social outcasts and meeting up with them to play dungeons and dragons or whatever you like. Things like that (if they work out) would improve your life a lot.

>maslow
Can you tell me where sex is in the maslow hierarchy?
Since I'm a 40 year old virgin this bothers me a lot.

small penis

Third aswell, but friends are more important then sex. You cannot really have meaningful sex without having friends.

Was gay raped in college. Got drunk at a bar and went home alone. Someone followed me and stuck his peepee in my butt.

Too drunk to fight it off, but at least I was too drunk to feel too much pain either.

I dont drink anymore. But sometimes I masturbate with things in me now.

Whatever man, I just need a job.
A job to get money and spend time where I don't have to think about how big of a loser I am.
I could "socialize" too in job, even a good morning is fine for me.
And with the money I could rent a shithole and leave my parents basement.

Until I find a job realistically I can't do anything else.

Whatever works for you m8.

You left the door unlocked and he came in later or what?
P.S. you liked it

Like as I opened the door he rushed me from behind. Once inside he crushed my behind.

>P.S. you liked it
... maybe. Doesn't mean im okay with it. Id rather consensual non consent and be able to drink or not freak out over nothing all the time.

Did you report it?
(No, because you liked it.)

Was it someone you knew?
Did he cum in your butt?
Do you have gay aids now?

i pick the skin on my lips and then look at the skin flake closely before throwing it in the trash. im not sure why i do this, but examining the flesh you just ripped off your body is probably pretty gross to everyone around me. i mean its gross to me but i can't stop. its some kind of anxiety thing.

>Did you report it?
>(No, because you liked it.)
Yeah. I did. Got laughed at and never bothered with cops again.
>Was it someone you knew?
I don't know. Was fall down drunk.
>Did he cum in your butt?
Yes.
>Do you have gay aids now?
No aids. Just a tiny bit of gay. Got blacklisted from donating blood for it too.

I cant cum without shitting myself a little bit.

I gained 50 pounds in the last year and can't actually reach/wipe my asshole... Nobody over 250# is clean...

I hated Trump but that faggot has been growing on me... everytime he hates shitskins I love him a lil more... that guy...lol...

Sabotage every nigger you can.

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What area, decade did this happen?

>can't actually reach/wipe my asshole... Nobody over 250# is clean...
You could get one of those electric shoe buffers to sit on after you shit

98 midwest.

Interesting. Cops just thought you were teh ghey or what

Made it seem like I was asking for it, shoulda fought harder, and what's the point in filing a report since they're not gonna catch the guy.

You were raped by a cop. Nice.

i've been a clown my entire life

Why the FUCK haven't you joined this server yet?
discord.link/7RVqurQ

I-hck

Heh nah, cop would have just done it openly.

>can't actually reach/wipe my asshole...
bro.. you should fix that. I can't imagine what that must be like.... fuuuuuuuuck

Is that a rosary in his left hand?

Trans man. No girl in that thing

Found the pedo

When I was 18 my girlfriend cheated on me with a close friend. I sent him to the hospital and almost did the same with her.
I'm 31 now and never had a serious relationship since them because I'm too afraid of this shit happening again or becoming a jealous and controlling boyfriend.

Thats rough. Double so that your self aware enough to recognize how it might damage your life forward from it.

Ever consider therapy?

i am a man and i've had sex with a woman

I'm jealous of you. I wish, my gf was fucking other men.

had the same thing happen to me in college with my girlfriend and my best friend. fucked me up for awhile but i eventually got over it.

I started dating a girl 4 years later, but the trust issues started to make it impossible so I tried therapy. After 4 sessions I understand that I had a problem but it didn't help at all and I ended the relationship after only two months with stupid excuses and went to live to another city because I was too ashamed to face her again. Poor girl was amazing and she deserved better. That was my last attempt to have a relationship.
One man's meat is another man's poison.
Wish I could do the same. I gave up a long time ago.

I fantasize about being castrated by a woman

I’m a virgin

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This

everyone around me is an npc cucktard and im sick of living up to their standards

Ouch man. Hope the storm passes for you and you learn to trust again

this

I eat my boogers daily. I'm a 30yo male

I like to wipe my finger on my butthole and sniff it while I jerk off. I feel like it smells like sex

I am sexually attracted to blond, athletic boys around 12 years old

i am a manipulative, un-trusting, kissless virgin, 45 yr old, Yea Forumstard, who can't speak properly, blessed with the light 'tisum

I haven’t been able to cum from sex in like 7-8 months. I don’t know why, I used to be able to. Now I can only cum while jacking off to porn. A part of it might be that I feel pressured to cum, I don’t know.

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Hebe*

I’ve date raped several times

thanks for sharing user!

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when I was 14 or 15 I went through a phase of going in my sister's room while I was home alone then dressing up in her clothes and fapping in front of the mirror

been rejected twice this year, its not that bad if you just move on and accept that she doesnt want you

Try wearing a cock ring. Also mix it up, slap her ass, grab her throat, do shit you haven't done before.

Mate, your soul is clean tho scarred. You need to find a women that can love you and understand your scars. You'll get there, bless your heart

Then dont, everything that repeats are your responsibility

We cant help feeling, but our actions are our own responsibility, do what's right and get control. If you already have it, keep it, never let innocents auffer just for your cravings. Bless your soul

Life aint fair mate

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