If an intruder entered your room right now what's the best weapon you've got?

An HK45 ready to go. An empty shotgun, and a safe full of weapons.

And again

Gay as fuck
.22 lever action carbine so if i hit im in the head it bounces and fucks it all up

Remington 887 Nitro Mag 12 gauge.

a cat

>so if I hit him in he head it bounces around
okay retard

A baby. No one likes a baby being thrown at them. Plus he’s really fucking irritable.

Gotta like mall ninja retardation.

Hatchet

My fiance's pussy.

I'm gonna grab my dog and my PS4 while he's busy raping her and get out the house.

I'm a beast with a letter opener. I mean, I have knives, but you can't go wrong with Ol' Reliable.

/thread

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A piss bottle that smells like someone puked on a roasted turkey leg

My unending ability to involuntarily push everyone I love away.

A bag of golf clubs.

Hatchet

Ol' Reliable never fails

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shotgun and yes I've got ammo

I got a car door off a crv. It's super effective.

A tiny fucking exacto knife

Between the machete, the pepper spray, and the rifle I'd go for the pepper spray first then come back with the machete.

Unlimited Poontang

safety scissors

9mm

A lamp

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12 gauge pump root shotgun

A pedal wrench

Riot. Fucking auto correct!

. 38 special Ed close but 12 gauge wingmaster in closet

This. Im unironically shitting my brains out right now, but if I was in my room, AR.

Electric flyswatter similar to pic related, turn it on and start BOPPIN em.

Intend to get gun someday though, not top priority rn.

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My faith in Jesus.

Or my crossbow.

A 9mm XD I don't really mind waiting 18 months for CPD to get it back to me.

Swords, sabers, and knifes

>literally only thing that can do any damage is my bass
>too weak to hit him with it
>play sickbass line
>intruder applauds
>asks if i can do a cover of a macklemore song
>shoot him with glock

S&W 357 magnum

Why not both?

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Sig SP2022 9mm loaded w/hollow points

My MP Shield

Glock 17

Existential dread and a complete willingness to just let the intruder do whatever and save me the trouble

Have a machetti in my sock drawer

a bugle

Kek

a guitar

Ruger 1911 45

Knives and swords as weebish as that sounds. I definitely wouldn't use the swords in this room as most as cosplay replicas and anime/video games have the most bullshit designs. The knives will have to do. I'm not breaking my hand swinging around AoT oversized boxcutter or the lopsided scissor sword even if it is a live blade.

.44 Deagle Mk 1

Well I saw this on the toilet so... plunger? The fact that it's gently resting in a shallow pool of shitwater may genuinely function as a deterrent.

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A bat, guns are cool and all but a bat is just sick

In the bathroom.....rubbing alcohol, toilet paper, and a lighter

I have an AK beside me so... bye bye intruder

A shotgun.

A bowl

A pile of nerf guns

Muh dik

Nice, and where did you say you live again, user? For science purposes..

my big fucking *ee pee

>Jesus
>crossbow
Jesus may save your soul but, that crossbow will save your ass.

.40

Lol, and any innocent neighbors you may have, ak-fag.

yeah i dont know anything about guns either

Austrian plastic tupperware that I just finished cleaning

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A sharpie...you know where he's going to get it!

A cold steel warhammer.

on the bottom of my keyboard tray, total length 12", honed by 5 grit stages and is so sharp it's capable of piercing kevlar

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Like your style, user

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My room is is basically a small armory. Most immediately reach able, best weapon I have is a Beretta M92FS, and a shorty KA BAR

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Mp shield or 300aac ar

I have a lot of stuff

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I'll have to beat him to death with my unloaded AR 15...

quads, you will throw the tupperware in just the right angle that it fucks him in the temple and destroy part of his brain. problem solved.

Lube and a sock

The gas leak.

>797876283
fr tho, 22's barely even penetrate skull.

My iPhone...

You've been misinformed lol

your mom's been misinformed

A claw hammer, and a boken.

probably thisyoutube.com/watch?v=F9ajbpTjiv8

This guy solves problems.

an actual sharpened, full tang carbon steel katana

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trombone, slam that shit into his head

Do you turbo niggers really not own a gun?

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>my dicc

Jesus you swordfaggots are a special class of retarded...

A canik 9mm, .50 Beowulf, and a shotty

I’m in rehab
No weapons allowed :(

You're both wrong retards, but for different reasons.

well i only plan on using it for display tbh
but it's better than having nothing in case of emergency

And as expected, you're fat.

Nice 20", user.

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Fat ass go run

Got a shit covered makeshift dildo in a corner somewhere. That should scare off any intruder

9mm pistol with double stack mag, so 17 bullets total.

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One of 3 guitars or some 5kg dumbbells, 20kg weights or the Olympic standard bench press bar.
If they fail, a shot tonne of Lego blocks and car parts.

My penus.

Glad to see another man of class.

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Is the trigger on those sigma/SD9's as shitty as everyone says?

An actual katana and a bikelock zipgun loaded with 12ga birdshot.

>

IDK that was the old gen, this is a the VE and they changed them.

see

Dude I am having a stroke HAHAHA

I like it.

also have a Taurus TCP, Ruger LCP with laser, Diamondback AR15, and a HiPoint 9mm Carbine

The whole family's here.

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Will post pic with timestamp if an intruder ever enters my house

tripledubs check'd

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...

>M92
So a paperweight?

when i'm not pew pewing with it, yeah.

Mine is ( or was ) factory new when I bought it, and not some police turn in or GI milsurp that was beat the fuck up.

Glock gang

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A metal clothes hanger. Put that fucker round his neck and pull

caspian

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Mauser Model 1909 leaning up against my bookshelf. It's not loaded, but it's big and scary-looking and could still work pretty well as a club.

a set of precision screwdrivers, a kitchen knife, and sharp scissors

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hi

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ill just throw my vape, thatll show em

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My bare hands, I'm fucking crazy though.
I'd probably strip down upon hearing an intruder and charge at them cock already erect.

Dual wield fleshlight

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Secure doors and a good neighborhood

keyboard and a mouse.

Knife in my drawer and my massive throbbing cock

>room
Well I’m not 13 so I have a whole house...

If I’m upstairs they get the 9mm Glock with the Federal HST rounds.
Downstairs they get M&P Sport 2 with the TUL 5.56 FMJ.

I also have two cats. I mean, granted, they’re just housecats but they’re shelter cats so, you know, they’ve seen some shit...

This makes you far easier to rape. I’ll be over in a little bit.

The most effective weapon in existence is the poop stick. Nobody believes you're going to shoot them. But everyone believes you'll smear poop on them. Nobody wants that.

12 gauge pump action pistol grip shotgun, machete, battery powered Sawzall

>vape
Have you told your parents you’re gay yet?

Close the dust cover you faggot.

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My dog and the fireplace poker I guess

Glock 26 with 60+ rounds on my nightstand and a 19 in a bedframe mounted holster just in case on my bed frame just in case

12g cruiser

.380 highpoint..
Fuck you..

>look at me I have a gun

/thread

A 1.5L glass wine bottle. I think i could make it to the knife block in the kitchen in time if i heard them start kicking the door and i bolted but who knowsp

>dubs of truth.
please tell me it at least has
the hundred dollar bill finish

Kimber K6s. Hangs by the blind side of my recliner. .357 Mag in every other chamber, .38 shot shell in alternate chambers. Laser grips. I can put six into the diameter of a dixi cup from the length of my living room in the time it takes to say "stop or I'll...."

Mossy 590A1 w/ Magpul SGA stock; was just cleaning it. Storage is in another room, so it's all I've got in this room right now.

Same, giant great Pyrenees sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. What kind of doggo is yours? Dogs ftw

>vape
>gay
finally i understand why ive been sucking all those cocks lately.

why is Beavis stabbing the king?

a hot cup of coffee

>5 grit stages

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Well? Post your gun, faggot

>I have a lot of stuff including my virginity

ftfy

Calm down there Aragorn.

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Kek exactly me

sig sauer p320

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A baseball bat

Machete, home made knofe that I didn't do a good job on, but I can still wack ya with it, boyfriend's Bowie knife, my soft fuckable ass (intruder will nut and skedaddle), and the knowledge that I have homemade hot chocolate mix in the kitchen (I'll offer him hot chocolate, strike up a conversation, let him fuck my ass, then he will be on his merry way. The perfect plan.)

Either my Electric Guitar or my Ultrasaber. The former could probably crush a skull, but would be cumbersome to swing around, the second would be much easier to swing, but while getting hit by it stings like a bitch it probably wouldn’t do too much damage.

This is what retarded sounds like

G19.5 dont need anything else.

30 06 I keep incase bear or moose are trying to mess with my dogs outside

My internet connection. I'll show them some penis rate threads and traps. That shit will weird them the fuck out. They'll flee. No doubt whatsoever.

arma lite rifle

My 15‘ shlong

riot shield

charm

Maglite, 3 D-cell, always lives in here.

At the moment, I have a beer bottle I could bust on the desk and make a "knife" with.

I'm probably gonna die D:

my cat

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my first one. it's within arms reach if I'm at my desk or in bed.

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Billie Eilish music.

I see that bottle of sleeping pills. Go to sleep man.

M1911 .45ACP w/ 3x loaded 14rd magazines
if those run our I've got a machete and a hand ax near by too

Kimber Micro9 and a shotgun

Several timed arisol air freshener sprayers loaded with cans of pressurized liquid lsd followed up by groovy non consentual anal sex and confusion

kek

I've used pepper spray indoors before
everyone in the house will be coughing their lungs out and crying like a baby

Hey me too.

yugo m57
it probably has killed some durkas in the 90s

empty bottles of liquor that would hurt a lot of i smashed him over the head with it.

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17 rounds of 9mm hollow point

>highpoint

An SD9 ve I sleep with, a
Basic bitch ar15 by bed post, shotgun by clothes drawers., and bersa 380 hidden in my movie stand. I'll be fine.

before jokes go to far and my doggo gets killed, I work for an SOT

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wow can you please suck dick somewhere else?

12g shotgun, sword, knife, machete

checked

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I would duel wield my crushing depression and loneliness in one hand and my sexual desperation and erection in the other

It's not the dubs of truth faggot

A karambit.

A extremely quick strip time. Get naked and he can't look because that would be gay. I then take his weapon, shoot him, proclaim no homo, and go back to masturbating.

This

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>hnnnggggg

Sauce and/or who is that girl?
>Looks like Shawna Lenee

My hard ass dick in my hands

The idea, OP, never was to survive

I keep a knife next to my keyboard and I've practiced throwing it because my life is pathetic, if it connects then i'd use that moment to grab my baseball bat from behind my headboard

>A extremely quick strip time. Get naked and he can't look because that would be gay. I then take his weapon, shoot him, proclaim no homo, and go back to masturbating.
What if he looks an says no homo first

G29 or SLR104... This Gameboy is pretty heavy?

A 10cm belt hidden knife

beretta 92s

9mm hollow points. But I can't shoot him in my state unless Jamal trys to kill me or others.

too lazy to take a picture

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Illinois here. Ours is similar. Fortunately we can if they enter in a “riotous” manner. Evidently if they sneak into my home in a prowl situation, knowing my wife and I are home, they aren’t a threat. If they bust down my door I can fire. I also can use deadly force to stop a aggravated arson.

So unless they bust down my door or try to burn down my home with is inside I must meet the same criteria I would if I used my concealed pistol on the street.

All I’m all though it sounds better than your state.

.45 m&p smith and wesson. loaded with hollow point +p next to me right now. go for it

in my state you confront someone on my property and they dont comply, say bye bye.

Is that the “gadget” on that Glock? I thought that was what it’s actually called but the device that actuates as the trigger is pulled for the tight butthole crowd when carrying a Glock in condition zero. Not talking shit seriously asking. I’ve been carrying my g19 for two years in condition zero.

Stop buying firearms at the dolar store.

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Any of these. One is always on me and another one is usually within arms reach

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Glock 26
Although i would hate to ever use in a defense manner I only use it at the range

Rn I’m naked in the shower, but I always have my push dagger neck knife on me.

>2019
>Having the need to own a gun

>Trusting that police will save you when Tyrone and his crew kick down your door.

Better to have and not need than vice versa

A syringe with enough heroin to kill someone without a tolerance.

Well, at least if they break in within the next few minutes... Reload time is a bit long.

im just a nigga with a rocket laucher

Get a better door

My mouth and anal cavity

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475 Rigby

2 handguns, a rifle, and a shotgun. All loaded with ammo and spare mags at the ready. Oh, and I have a Flammenwerfer in the garage.

I think I'll be just fine
They would not have a prayer.

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https:\\discordapp.com\invite\pRkMu23

-mz7

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I have a pitbull

What's that fire 30mm mini rockets ?

A rifle

I could aim a laser sighted pistol and 1000 lumen tac light into his retinas or I could beat him to death with a lamp. Your pick.

"Being white is so hard"

Maverick 88 12 gauge 6 shells
Ruger Sr9 9mm 17+1 mag

Same. Glock 27 on nightstand. Pitbull at foot of bed. .380 on girlfriends nightstand.

You have diarrhea ironically? Me too

You sound like one frightened pussy

Square up nigga

Are you a grill?

>girlfriends nightstand

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Picture related. An absolute mess. He'll likely catch some serious shit like scabies or aggressive skin fungi.

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I haz glock and pitbull and girlfren

I want out of Illinois

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j-john?

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I’m sorry, I don’t speak the Ebonics.

12 bore

Buck up bitch.

Put em up faggot

Whip it out big boy

an ACR

I feel like you are angry. Are you going to punch the screen? Or shoot it?

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Well, I'm taking a shit right now so i'd probably just fling it at them til they leave in disgust.

Pffftt hahahaha

I wasn’t the original post of “square up nigga”. I was just clarifying of what I think the nigger meant. You retarded, boy?

Why

I wasn’t aware 2019 was any different than any other year.

>2019
>having the need for a locked door

What the fuck are you even talking about?

Literally a dozen AR15's

No, but everything you have said is.

5kg of dynamite

Everything I have said is. So you’re assuming you know “everything” that I have said. You’re fagging out hard tonight aren’t you?

Let’s pretend you know who I am. Let’s recall everything that I have said. Enlighten me faggot

my cock

Sig Sauer P250 in my desk drawer.

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The 40 lb dumbbell next to my desk or the exacto I use for model kits. I could even use some of the chemicals I use for my PLAMO on them, just have to squirt into their eyes or some shit.

Get out of here Matt

My kukri

Comeback incoming.....

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M4. Not faggot semi-auto M4gery, real M4. 14.5" barrel, select fire. I'm an old fart so I keep a 30 round aluminum GI mag in it. I have some Pmags but like the aluminum ones for some reason.

That's the "den gun" (where my office is). In master bedroom is Benelli M1S90 Tactical Entry Shotgun (14.5" barrel) with SureFire forend and MP5A3 (again, select fire, not faggot semi), also with SureFire forend, since bedroom guns are more likely to come out to play at night.

Elsewhere in the house are various Glocks, just in case, but most likely defense will start from the office or the master bedroom.

Fucking feel sorry for the fool that decides to come in unprepared.

I have a set of full tang sai, Not saying I have any clue how to use them, but they are heavy as fuck and the ends are sharp. So club them until they slow down, stab them until they are fuxd.

Lies lies lies

if you hit the head with a 22 it bounces off, chest cavity can give you the sweet bounces you crave.

A strong wooden stick

Tell you what chief, tell me what gun and what you want with it and I'll take a picture.

Yo where did you go? Did I hurt your feelings?

My body

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I want to see all your full autos, tramps. Not those gay ass semi autos.

What would he want with your firearm?

This would break and not do shit

Two lemons

a type 97 gen2 with 10 magazines and 1000+ more rounds. Ready to hop.

Ah shit, here we go again

The sitting and smiling tactic.

two doggos and a hot cup of coffee.

Everyone who owns a gun in this thread is a waste of oxygen. If you think owning a gun is better than not owning one, and you live in a country that enforces that belief, there's no doubt that your ego is twice as high as your IQ

that'll be threefifdy

I used a gun to prevent myself from being stabbed. ???

M'kay.

>be me
>break into some random fuckwits house
>see this
>call police
>shoot myself
>hide gun between my ass cheeks to make it look like it raped me

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Bitter faggot inbound

I'm in Canada *HONK HONK

Taking into account ease of access, I've got a serrated knife right next to me. If I have a few seconds to get up and grab something on the opposite side of the room, I've got a realistic enough toy gun, maybe that'll fool them. I should really look into a real gun but getting one is way too difficult in this liberal hellhole of a state and my mom won't let me. Not underage b&, just a failure.

Go to sleep danny

>a whole armed police force at my disposal
he fucked

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If you know what you are looking at you will see the auto-sear in both guns. Happy?

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The 260lb college linebacker next room over. My sons visiting from college to introduce his Asian gf. Prolly marry the chink.

Belgian malenois, jacked older brother, and a "decorative" machete.

Would say husky too but she's super friendly, and is also injured rn. Poor puppo :(

Lol this fucking dork printed a meme on his mag. You're the coolest sped at the range. Omfg wait, did you hand paint this? If so did you think how cool you were going to look other whole time? You treated your gear like a preteen girl with a Lisa Frank binder hahaha.

You sound like one of those "subjects" we citizens keep hearing about.

>waiting like an hour for sheriff shithead to finish his donut and drive over when you could just shoot the fucker
Yeah, nah.

Well slap my ass and call me Susan. Gramps is a man of his word. Ok, you can stay. You should have timestamps tho, and put those lemons in the pic.

I personally shoot for fun, so I just rent or borrow a friend's, but guns are a real, and Important method of self defense. In most cases, just brandishing a gun will protect you. That's just proof that they're effective and necessary.

Is this the Special Ed convention?

Hahahahhaaa yo Lisa frank binder

Fire arms are used more often in self defense than crime. Over 300,000 lives are saved each year through lawful citizens carrying. So what's your issue with them ?

He’s a little bitch, any more stupid questions?

No tits, just timestamp. :-)

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Th-they're scary. ;_;

No suppressors?

I have a Gemtech Raptor for the MP5 and a Gemtech M496C (old can) for the M4.

Putting the Raptor on the MP5 is easy because it's 3-lug. Putting the M496C on the M4 is a pain in the ass.

If I load my own 9mm subsonic using Doc Dater's recipe the MP5 is pretty fucking quiet. The M4 of course is not quiet but at the shooter end it's fine without muffs (and the supersonic crack is more of a problem for the guy being shot at).

Kek. You clearly don’t understand predators. They don’t give a fuck about size.

“God made men but Samual Colt made them equal”

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his penis

12 gauge shotgun

>litteraly giving someone shit for saying it’s ok to be white while claiming there is no downside to being white
Sure kid

Our penis

Sounds fun tbqh.

>Using a select fire weapon for home defense
>”Do you like salty cock?
>”YEAH!”
>”Do you like confinement?”
>”YEAH!”
>”Well HARD ON THE YARD vacations has just the getaway for you!”

Candidly the amusement wears off after awhile. We've done Beta-C mag dumps out of the M4 until the barrel could be seen to glow red. At the end of the day they are mostly toys. Expensive toys. Lol.

I seriously do keep the M4 loaded, right beside my work desk. Probably never get fired in anger but how big of a fucking surprise would that be for someone who decided to boot in my front door?

>not wanting to ventilate an intruder, quietly.....

Unless you are Stephen Halbrook I can assure you that I know more about self defense law in my state than you do.

Actually Stephen doesn't practice in my state, so even if you are Stephen I probably still know more than you do.

I'm sure it does wear off, but still a fun hobby.

I would get excited and ask them to be my friend

Nice chatting with you. Keep your powder dry.

Likewise. Take care.