I start a 5 year prison sentence next week

how severe? unlawful discharge or just possession?

Possession as a felon.

It's always nice to have your friends help Lube you up. Makes it a lot easier

Move to Mexico

I'm not in prison yet dumbass. I'm supposed to turn myself in on April 30th. I'm not some low ball nigger who can't afford bail.

I’ve been locked up before but not for years at a time. I’ve been to jail and shitty incarnation facilities like jail. I’ve heard prison really isn’t so bad, just don’t go for a sex crime and don’t get in debt and in other people’s business while you’re in there

I did 18 months 5 years ago. Prison is way better than county, in county there isn't shit to do. I probably won't serve all 5. If I don't fuck up too bad I'll get out early and serve the rest on parole.

>I'm not some low ball nigger who can't afford bail.

No, but you did get busted as a dealer, and then chose to keep a gun as a felon like a complete retard, so while the 'low ball' and 'can't afford' parts may not be true, bad news about the third one

This is the truth. Jail sucks because it's short term and you dont get a lot of luxuries like you do in prison. Prison may be longer term, but you at least get amenities like personal TVs or radios and even cigarettes in some case. Just make a few bros to pass the time with, do your work outs, and keep off the guard's radars. leave your bros in prison though, dont carry that relationship on to the outside.

I gave up dealing when I got out last time, I only carried the gun because of people I knew back in the day. I actually finished my degree and am (was) working a job. But I got pulled over for speeding and they ran my record, searched my car and found it. Stupid I know but man, better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6 you know.

>Speeding when you have a gun in the car as a felon

?

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The speed limit is normally 35, but it was during a school zone time, so it was 25.

Get a tramp stamp that says AIDS with an arrow pointing at your hole

You are so smart

Get some dildos and start stretching your asshole.
Prison is just another word for rape.
How long were you sentenced to rape?

Naw that will just turn on the fags that are positive.

Stick a cigar tube up your ass with a folding knife in it. Or drugs.

Might as well deal on the inside right?

>friends on the inside
>multiple charges

how about you read a book and get your life together user....

Or use it to pass the time. Dealing might get you in trouble with gangs.

Well, I'll have lots of time to read. Like I said before, I actually finished my degree and have (had) a job. But shit is shit. I grew up in shit, so yeah I have friends inside I grew up with, I did some dealing back in the day, and I still have guys out there that would kill me, so its why I carried. I'd rather serve 5 years, than get shot for something I did back in the day.

What's your opinion on AfterPrisonShow? He's a loud asshole that was in prison for a bunch of charges and acts like a spaz on camera, but he seems to give solid advice

How likely is it that you serve the whole 5 years?

>why I carried
safety ALWAYS off

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Probably not all 5, I'll get good time credit, if I'm lucky I may only do 2 1/2

>Implying they don't have metal detectors and body scanners in the pen

lol @ body scanners. If they do have metal detectors say you have a steel rod to fix your pelvic bone.

That’s the point.

Op is faggot

Put a mini phone up your butt and sell it for a good sum of money or cigs.

They fucking x ray you retard.

I was in for 6 an a half years. Wasn't a very violent prison though but wasn't easy. I wrote a book. Stay away from the religion shit. Every religion in prison feels like a fucking cult. Also ran A lot. Every yard I ran 5 or more miles, people respect you when they see a long distance runner it speaks to a persons desire to be free. People will come to see you unconsciously as the guy trying to be free. Don't play card games, stupid fucks do that in there. Read constantly.

No they dont retard.

Lmao just dont go

Take a crash course in bjj

post pics and contact info of your girlfriend so we can fuck her while you're in prison

Stick a ceramic knife up your bottom.

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But they do

Nope. That would expose inmates to frequent x-ray leading to cancer.

fuck I did 5 months in France and it was awful. And we had a shower, fridge and a tv in every cell. Can't even imagine doing few years

Play sherk 2

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Holy shit I love that game

Cry?

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Practice being raped with a big dildo till it doesn't hurt anymore.

Good here

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Find Bigfoot

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Don't you have some offs to fuck?

Flee overseas to somewhere with no extradition treaty.

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Eat everyday in a restaurant, try to solve any conflict with family members, talk to some nice people.

fag

Get a black guy to train you to defend yourself in prison.

Flee the country,you fucking mong

> If I don't fuck up too bad I'll get out early, get more guns, get arrested, and go right back to jail.

Are you a pretty white boy? Do they treat you like Justin Bieber on the inside?

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That line got me in stitches and the part about his father killed me. Haha

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Just find a nice bigger guy and hold onto his pocket.

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I have friends from high school who thought they were hood and would carry guns around because of drug people coming after them. retards

that is why I quit hanging out with them. you will get caught and arrested for doing your dumb shit and im not going to throw my life away for a bunch of retards. Funny thing is it wasnt even ghetto black dudes it was white dudes who thought being ghetto was cool.

>I still have guys out there that would kill me
Did it never occur to you to just move to another city and not tell them where? Because that seems a lot easier than watching your back 24/7, never mind the jailtime it got you.

it's very difficult to move once you're on parole. i know this because someone makes a that here a lot asking advice on how to do it.

it's pretty hard in murrica to start over when you're a convicted criminal

kill yourself and others

thread*

*thread asking advice

Practice having things in your asshole.

The French actually arrest and imprison people?
I would have expected maybe a smug lecture on not being a naughty boy at worst
How did you get in?

So when you get out, they put you right back in the neighbourhood where all your criminal contacts are?

Is it just me, or is this a supremely stupid system? I would have thought they'd actively try to discourage felons from returning to their old lives.

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Binge the fuck out of Prison Break

brought some weed (3kg) from barcelona to my country. Was packed badly, so random customs check dog sniffed it. They actually put you in prison for all kinds of small shit, several guys were in for driving without licence. But yeah, for this kind of stuff you don't get much, for the first time and french go out at half time served on parole but foreigners like me serve full time