I wish I was a mare

You can't abuse a horse like that. I'd kick you to gooey pieces.

I would introduce you to my dogs, one of my dogs would try and hump your legs and the other likes to watch tv and eat

That's enough internet for one night

Only animals whose names start with H get to hump me. Any other gets crushed beneath my hooves.
The second dog sounds fine however, I'd watch tv with you and your dog.

You've entered my stables, you'll stay to ride the horse.
It's pretty late, late enough for a true night mare.

there is a W in front of the H but if you remove the w it sounds stupid.

the second dog likes to watch animals on tv, but I think it is because she wants to meet them, she gets very excited and barks at other animals I think because she was not very well socialized (I kept her inside and fed her tons of food(also probably because she was abandoned)) but she also used to herd cows or something.
she would enjoy a horses company after a few days though

>there is a W in front of the H but if you remove the w it sounds stupid.
You know what I meant. Horses. Humans. These are the animals that could hump me. Dogs cannot.
>the second dog likes to watch animals on tv, but I think it is because she wants to meet them, she gets very excited and barks at other animals I think because she was not very well socialized (I kept her inside and fed her tons of food(also probably because she was abandoned)) but she also used to herd cows or something.
>she would enjoy a horses company after a few days though
I don't want to be barked at or nipped. Realize that I am bigger than both you and your two dogs put together. Horses can weigh a ton or more and still are faster than both man and dog. If you and your dogs behave, then all should be fine in the stables.

You'd be such a pretty pony

I'd brush your mane and put a cute pink ribbon in it afterward

I find the brushing to be an acceptable catalyst to your desires to dress me.

A horse with the brain of a man? I'd keep you as my most prized possession and spit on all the other spiffy members of the western equestrian league. Their horses will never be able to count to 4 while mine would have conversations. Your training to be the fastest horse ever will hurt vert much.

i would shoot you. i cant afford a horse

If I am to be prized, as you say, than why would you make my training hurt? Also, intelligence does not equal speed. Surely you'd have better uses for me than mere racing?

I'm free, at least, in the monetary sense.
I'd still want a few certain things from you.
Maybe, if you can't afford a horse, I can afford a human?
Why not belong to me instead?

id still shoot you. i like to kill things

Is that a threat?

You don't lift do you? The path to greatness hurts. Being intelligent and wanting to win is much better than running for no other reason than some asshole stabbing you with spurs. And it's 2019, even programmers and physicists are getting ripped these days.

I can defend myself.
I'd crush you, I like to trot over crunchy surfaces.

But why running? Just because I possess the same set of legs as the competition? Why not enter me in a horse show instead, where I am sure to win?

This I would do

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A fine outfit. I'd take you into the gates of Oblivion with that.

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Even better. I'd support this cause, knight, and take you wherever you needed to go.

Running, showhorse, equestrian olympics, jousting, charging into the siberian steppes to kill putin. You're a fucking manhorse the possibilities are endless.

two words:

glue factory

sell you to the cat food factory.

two words:
horse kick
:)

Put a harness on and slowly work you to death over the course of 10-15 years . Then send your ass to the glue factory you absolutely autistic fuck.

U r a fag

I see, I'm glad you see such potential in me.
I hope there is time away from competition as well.

I'll eat your cat. Before you say anything, horses can and do eat small animals too.

Or I can harness all the energy I have into kicking your head in and converting your gray matter into paste.

i m a mare

Yes.
I would scoop your eyes out like ice cream, skin you alive, and pour salt on your bare muscle. You would be kept alive by stimulants, your equine screams echoing through the night.

This is a very tsundere horse

I'm a pretty standard horse.
If you're nice, so am I.
If you're not, so am I.

I'd breed you endlessly to create talking horses that I could then sell as novelty pets to the richer population. If you didn't produce talking horses as a result of being bred, I'd just pump you full of human semen every day.

Don't worry everyone will line up their mare to be bred by the terror of moscow. Probably even a few russian women as spoils of war.

I crush your ribs beneath my hoof. I'd bite off your nose and eyes with my blunt teeth. I'd shit wherever there was a hole. You'd drown in fecal matter.

Stallion cocks are the best reason to be a mare.
I hope you can match up if my foals ain't sellin'.

Remember, I AM a mare. You'd line up stallions and korvorka men to breed with me.

This is all, for this mare is tired.
I wish to grow large belly that is full of foal.
I will birth beautiful babies.
To those that wish you hurt me: you will be crushed.
To those that wish to love: I will be yours.
Goodnight~

What an autistic thread.

But I would fuck a mare.

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