How the fuck am i suppose to kill myself in England

Swim out to sea at night faggot.
100% success
No one messing with your body
You become an Urban legend

And if you change your mind there is always a slim chance you might make it back without being a veggie.

independent.co.uk/news/musicians-car-found-near-suicide-bridge-1574073.html

could rigg a microwave to stay on when open and nuke your head

Haha

Nice idea but it dosen't solve the autopsy part.

Pretty decent idea combo lads. I was toying with plans for a post death fire destruction of my carcass, I was thinking of buying a row boat or something and just sail a bit off the coast, Fill the footwell with petrol, torch it, (Ideally shoot myself beforehand).

wat

Sounds like absolute agony, ill pass.

Those in your family who cant deal with death will live on thinking you moved to another country and started a new life.

Anyone who knew you can believe what they need to believe and it could be true. The perfect way to kys without causing shit for people you know.

Is that even possible?

You could fly

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"the brain by itself is made up of mainly water: Skeletal muscle is about seventy five percent water and the entire brain is seventy seven to seventy eight percent. because the entire body is mostly water, it might take more time for the “inner” areas like brain to become superheated, because skin, external muscle mass and bloodstream “soak up” the heat very fast, however I do not believe it could require much time whatsoever for the brain cells to heat up to deadly amounts, provided that it is mainly water condition"

yeah but I can't even imagine the agony, definitely going to fall away before it kills you and end up a veggie for the rest of your life.

that's why you duct tape the microwave to your head and glue and or nail the plug to the wall.

SWIM OUT TO FUCKING SEA

1. setup your facebook with an autoposting add-on before you do it.
2. go out and pay hot girls to take selfies with you before you do it
3. after you swim out and kys you can have the facebook autoposter, posting the selfies with hot chicks every month
4. You will be a fucking legend

Make sure you leave your pants and wallets some place on the shore or beach car park......half the people that know you will say you kys the other half will say you made it back and are now living in Thailand.....you can be as creative as you want to be.....and no fucker messes with your body.

Or you could just lie on the bed with the microwave on your head.

Problem is that every medifag in the world is going to want to do an autopsy to see what sort of fucked up mental illness you were suffering from.....kek

Rush the Queen with a butter knife in each hand. Them tall-hatted motherfuckers will stomp you into a fine, red paste.

stop lying its easy to hang yourself ppl just dont wanna rly die ffs

jump into the Bolton Strid, it has a 100% kill rate and I doubt they will perform an autopsy

I just looked that up and it's so cool and dark soulsy!

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buil a bomb with a firecracker and a shitton of cans of hairspray

The river?.. Google pics is like... a gentle stream?

Swim out to sea

Check this story, see the parents issue calls for her to come back, everyone gets to believe what they need to believe to deal with it.....and you get to kys without an autopsy.

If you get drunk before hand it will make you feel warmer and you will fall unconscious from the hypothermia before you drown so no pain.....just shit happy drunk a short swim,....you will actually feel warmer as the hypothermia sets in and then you will be gone peacefully..

If you change your mind......and your mind is really strong then there is a chance you could make it back,,,,,,they way hypothermia works and the way the mind can either send blood to the extremities or pull them back is super complex....but if you make it back you wont be a veggie.

Here's the story....but Google and you will see that people who kys by swimming out to sea become eternal legends....anyone Googling you after you do it....wont see "loser kills himself" stories but stories about whether you are still alive and all sorts of crazy shit

thesun.co.uk/news/5222701/sophie-smith-missing-student-latest-news-sea-gorleston-norfolk/

>Extract the powder from matchsticks and mix it in with beads, nuts, pieces of metal.

>wrap it in foil

>Wrap the foil with a very thick layer of duct tape

>make a tiny hole that penetrates into the middle, stuff it with more powder and extend a matchstick from it.

>seal it with more duct take

>Light the match and hold it next to your fucking head

Wheres my money?

Yeah, on the surface. But the currants underneath will drag even the strongest swimmer to their death. Hundreds of people have died, no one who has fallen in has survived.

kek

You can just get a gun off the deep web

protip: bring a bladder of some sort to inflate when you desire the inevitable escape hatch and float your butt back to shore

IMO, winter cold. it's quiet and towards the end you hit a warm euphoric state. Rubbing alcohol on bare skin chills you out reeeel quick

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Nah don't do the bridge jump thing.....plenty have survived and ended up in wheel chairs for the rest of their lives. Do it some place where the tide is super strong and will carry you far out to sea.

Just get in after drinking half a bottle of liquor.....if you really aren't up for doing it.....you will get out fucking quickly....and by the time you reach the point of no return your mind will really have to be serious about doing it........you will have to be super serious about doing it and it will work......or if there is any doubt you will swim like a fish quickly to get back out....perfect method because if there is any doubt or you are just being stupid, the cold water the elements etc etc will help you change your mind......all the other methods give you no way to bail out without ending up doing serious harm........just sitting by the awesome ocean is enough for most people to change their mind.

Full English, every day should do the trick. Over time.

OP later

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there you go excellent tip, take a Walmart inflatable swimming toy as extra insurance incase you change your mind...

I feel like killing myself plenty of times,,,,,,I am bipolar......I live by the beach....lost count of the number of times I go down to the sea to kys......but the sea is such a beautiful thing and it makes you see the beauty in life....and I don't do it........When I hear about people who kys by swimming out to sea then I know beyond ANY doubt that they really had to do it to be at peace.....and it seems like a beautiful death....back to where we once crawled out millions of years ago.

Jump off the cliffs at Dover you pussy

Make thermite (It's easy to find the resipy online) put it in a paper cup and secure it to the top of your head and light it, it will burn through your head so fast that you'll barely feel it. And you could do it in a dumpster after you douse yourself in petral, that way your cremated at the same time, therefore no body to autopsy.

OP ere', was just looking around some more, And, What about the Beachy head down in dover? Fall to death and then when the tide comes in the ocean steals the body? any smart people poke flaws in that?

You have never watched Gore videos have you?

I have seen plenty were kids set fire to animals in a similar fashion and even humans.....they run around screaming like a fucking banshee before they die.

You posted a picture of a noose, start there

That's why you do the thermith, it burns through your skull and kills you pretty fast.

Yeah.....anything involving a fall could involve you ending up in a wheelchair for the rest of your life.

The only safe options are;

1. Helium/Argon/Nitrogen Gas
2. Swimming out to Sea

Find me a story where someone tried to kys using the above and ended up a veggie. Anyone? Post here. Suggest any other method and I bet you I can find a story where they survived and ended up in a wheelchair or coma for the rest of their lives.

Talking from experience are we

Thermite will burn through an engine block and the pavement beneath. I've never seen it used on bones but it's hard to imagine they do much of anything to stop it. It's so hot it would probably kill you before it even touches your scalp

Well between you and me, no. But the OP didn't specify painless, and I lie coming up with creative and sometimes painful methods of murder/suicide. But don't tell anyone.

dude thats just.... creative

I can find many of the gas ones where they have been discovered, the masks pulled off as they were out cold, been revived and spent the next 60 years in a hospital bed with nurses wiping their arse and being fed milkshake through a tube in their wrist.

Swimming out to sea is a pretty aight option, I literally live in a harbour, Ocean about 30 steps from my front door. Could just drink myself to near comatose one night and go for a swim i guess.

How can i be sure that i wont just wash back up on the beach?

>Swimming out to Sea
Why are so many people suggesting this? Drowning has got to be one of the most horrible panicky deaths there is outside of torture. It doesn't even matter if you want to die, your body will react and want to protect itself, and it will suck. Gas/drugs all the way.

I suppose you could run into your local tyre fitment centre with some duct tape. Grab the airline and take a full lung full(it should be Nitrogen if they are a nationwide chain) then duct tape your mouth and nose.....but you are going to upset a lot of people before the 3 minutes it will take to kill you....and I am sure someone will think to rip the tape from your mouth....and they will sure as fuck want to do an autopsy to see what mental illness you were suffering from.

Helium ----- party balloon suppliers
Nitrogen----tyre fitments centres
Argon------Welding equipment suppliers

Sea----FREE and so fucking cool and awesome CHOOSE THIS OPTION...kek

headfirst into a wood chipper

CO

>How can i be sure that i wont just wash back up on the beach?

Do it on a spring tide.....the tides at the end of the month---check the newspapers.....those are the tides when the water comes up the highest....so it's easy to check.

Find a tide time where high-tide is just after the sun sets, then you will have the full time of the outgoing spring tide to carry you out in darkness.

see
Those people who got discovered were stupid. Are you telling me you don't have a few hours in your schedule where you won't be found? Do people check in on you in the middle of the night? Are you too afraid to try and score some heroin and ride into the sunset on a glorious white dragon? Maybe you should reconsider killing yourself then, you definitely will when you're out at sea, the salt stinging your eyes, stinging your throat, the panic setting in, your primal brain taking over in a desperate attempt to save itself. Too late, you go under the waves, and there's no peace. It burns, your chest feels like its being torn apart. You die in panic and regret.

>How can i be sure that i wont just wash back up on the beach?

Push some bum/tramp in the night before and check the news in the morning---kek

Jeeze man, I'm asking for constructive ideas here. Not some fucking morale bashing.

Join a gun club and get a licence and then don't kill yourself but instead quell your soul with the cathartic sport of shooting. Please don't kill yourself.

Where's the morality? I'm telling you what happens, unlike the memelords egging you on for the lulz.

First of all overdose on drugs (but ones that take about 30 minutes to kick in), you need to do this whilst at the top of a tall building or a tall bridge, have a knife ready and also some lighter fluid, set yourself on fire, and position yourself right at the edge and cut your wrists, you will be unconscious, falling to your death with slit wrists whilst on fire overdosing on drugs. I doubt you will survive and if the immolation goes well the students will have nothing to fuck about with.

You found this bs in the archives didn't you....interesting a first hand experience of someone that killed themselves. Total bs.

I have worked with the local sea rescue service for decades. Most people drown from secondary drowning and not the panic shit you see on TV and in movies......as you struggle to swim you breath more and more sea spray into your lungs, your lungs cant absorb any air, not because they are full of water but because the lining is coated in water from the spray,,,,you pass out like dizzy pass out and slip under......which is why so many REAL drowning stories you hear have "he was with us and then he/she just disappeared" and not he/she was screaming for help bs

Hitchhike across Afghanistan to "prove" how passive Muslims are.

No fucker will pay to fly your corpse back.

So sad

And the vast majority of people who survive suicide attemps say that they felt overwhelming regret and panic. I'm not saying that means they weren't sincere in their deathwish, but it does mean that your brain will take over and you will panic. As for your credentials, do you actually expect people to believe that somebody with decades of rescue experience is egging on suicidals on Yea Forums.org?

How far out do you lads wreckon you outa swim to not just get pushed back onto the beach post drowning? and also, I take it i should probably jump in on the sea facing side of the harbour breakwater right?

poetic and all but the total puss move.

If there's str8 nothing redeeming about your life, go be a volunteer for some environmental concern or like some do-goodin' charity thing that'll feed you if you do shit..

it's like recycling a life instead of throwing it away. better for society

Get some drugs, faggot. Drowning isn't going to make you feel fucking awesome like drugs will.

If i take drugs there will 10000000000% be an autopsy. Defeats the goal here.

wikipedia : exit bag :painless, efficient

That is word for word bs that has been posted in Yea Forums before....so much for calling others memelords.

I am not egging OP on....I am giving him informed advice on kys that MAXIMISES his chances of not making a terrible mistake and seriously injuring himself.....I am also explaining a method that in each step along the way he will be able to bail out without harm to himself or others.

Having myself, suffering from bipolar, attempted suicide on many occasions, I found that it was always the preparation stage that allowed me to think more clearly about what I was doing.......anyone who can walk into the sea at night and swim out far enough to not make it back would have to have ZERO doubt about their actions......and if I thought OP was actually about to do this I would do everything I could to stop him.....my experience is that if there is no danger in the planning or preparation then it can be very therapeutic in whatever is troubling you.

not if you do it in a forest or some area where your body won't be found for a while

yeah and adding to this, the more we treat suicide as something that is taboo to discuss totally objectively, the more it becomes this woowoo thing. it's part of reality and at least personally, having a real dark, explore the options talk helped me see a little more light.

kek are you trying to say that people who work in sea rescue are all white knights with no personal problems.????

I have found that the majority of people who work in rescue and support services have some sort of history of personal grief or problems.

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go sex the queen

go abroad, you won't feel like killing yourself anymore.
really.

How old are you, and why do you feel like killing yourself? Might as well spill your guts.

Drugs are what you take to stop kys....just about every drug addict is someone with so much shit in their life they want to kys....but instead of a permanent escape they choose a temporary one. If drugs were to vanish off the streets overnight you wouldn't be able to walk for the bodies in the morning.

go on top of the highest building in your area.
Set yourself on fire and jump.
Your body will burn and you'll be dead no problemo.

omg... opiods and alcohol. painless, easy...
very scary but whatever, you get really drunk to compensate

Step 1: Induce unconsciousness somewhere near a wood chipper
Step 2: Gravity
Step 3: ?????
Step 4: Profit!

Standard shit. Facially deformed. (Genuine 2/10 according to the internet).
>Literally make women feel physically sick just on account of my appearance.
>Skin disorders which feel like im being drowned in acid 24/7.
>Fed up of years of just wake up, work, go home, drink alone all night. rinse and repeat. for years.

I can imagine trying to get roof access on one of the few buildings tall enough anywhere nearby with a jerry can to be a bit of a red flag. Haha.

Hard to avoid autopsy, because they're checking for foul play and its arbitrary authority of the coroner. They don't actually need a reason- just a whim.

You might be able to avoid it if you suicide by cop. But bobbies aren't as lethal as American cops You'd need to bring out a SWAT or something. And if all you've got is melee then they'll just dogpile you and take you into custody. You'd need a gun or bombs, which would solve your problem without needing the SBC. Still, might be nice if your death meant something as a visible protest to the police state.

I think my recommendation is that you get an overdose of heroine, but before you shoot up douse your entire house and self in gasoline. Shoot up so you can't feel anything, and you've got a handful of seconds to start the fire before you basically go comatose.

Fire takes care of the body. Heroine makes it painless.

Honestly though, this, probably. The UK is a remarkably terrible place masquerading as "one of the best in the world". It's not. I'd sincerely be happier in South Africa.

>How far out do you lads wreckon you outa swim to not just get pushed back onto the beach post drowning?

Depends on what you are wearing, if you aren't wearing anything that floats or traps air then you will sink for a few days before you re float. It really depends on your local area, where I am if you get carried out more than a few kms then you aint ever coming back in, you would need to check local newspapers for previous drownings/ships in trouble reports etc. Most coastal areas have tidal channels then the main ocean channel that runs along the coast. Once you are in the ocean/sea channel you wont come back in, that is why you would use a spring tide(strongest/once a month) and you would want to go in at high tide, then you will have the full time of the outgoing tide to carry you out.

Why don't you want an autopsy? so they cant identify you or just because you don't want medifags fucking with your body?

I flatlined a few times from opiates, the worse way to try and kys...so fucking hit and miss.....and if you flatline for too long and they manage to get you back you are a veggie

I have no idea where id even go about getting drugs from.
I like the creativity of the house fire idea but i live in an apartment, so thats completely off the cards, i'd never want to harm anyone else or anything.

I think its obvious the only way were going to destroy me after im dead is by fire or by ocean.

This sounds properly rogue but. you think in some places in the world id be able to pay people to kill me and burn me?

buy a trip to the north pole and walk away from the tour group Eskimo style.

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I said england in the OP but im actually in the Isles (Same shit) so i'll have to find out more about the channel / irish sea currents and stuff.

Basically aye mate. Just not a fan of the idea of a bunch of randoms playing around with my dead body, poking my junk with a stick and having banter with each other over it. Haha. I guess its like that same feeling of why you wouldnt just run down the street naked. Bit of privacy and that ya know?

You need a loicenzz bong bro

>This sounds properly rogue but. you think in some places in the world id be able to pay people to kill me and burn me?

Yes here you can get it done for about 2000 pounds but do you really think someone is going to;

1. kill you after you hand over the cash, when they can just run away.
2. go to all the trouble to dispose of your body as you wished after they have the money

Why don't you want an autopsy? ID reasons or you hate medifags reasons?

Buy 17 weather balloons and attach them to a lawn chair. Nice view , just make sure the jet steam goes away from land.
youtu.be/Q0VTy2mtpnw

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Something about strangers poking around my dead disgusting corpse is extremely uncomfortable. Insecurity perhaps? not too sure. just dont want it.

Do you think you will be aware of what happens with your body after it stops functioning and you die? Didn't read the thread so apologies if you already answered such question.

If your totally anal about the autopsy then you could always hire/steal a boat then get out into the main sea/ocean channel and jump off.......that's the choice of millionaires for kys so their families get the insurance as they cant prove suicide and can claim an accident.......Didn't that Maxwell UK newspaper tycoon do that??......I wouldn't do that.....there's no option to bail out if you change your mind.......from a sea fairing background that is the stuff of horror stories, falling off by accident and watching the boat sail away......I would not want to be in a kys situation where I change my mind but I cant escape and yet I am still fully conscious...you dont want to go there......better that your mind is at peace with what you are doing as it happens......from people who have been saved at the last minute.....they talk about their life flashing before them, all the good times...blah blah blah

I will not be aware of it after i'm dead. obviously. but i know about it before i'm dead. And before i'm dead reminds me how shitty people are. and how a team of 2 or 3 medfags are going to be playing round with my junk and joking about how ugly i am and shit. And then go home and tell their wives how they cut up some gross kysfag at work today, and she will tell all the girls at her wineclub when jenny asks her how her husbands jobs going, and a group of chicks in some wine bar will laugh about my dead corpse.

see what i mean? fuck that

>And basically anything other then gunshot to the brain and you've got decent odds of enduring absolute agony or surviving in the state of a veggie.
Literally jump off a high building you retard. If you actually wanted to kys you would've already done it

here you go , hypoxia starts at around 14 thousand feet and is painless.youtu.be/_hYC-ukmlU0

Buy potassium supplements, several bottles from amazon or whatever.

Buy a pestle and mortar, grind up the capsules into a powder and you should have a bowl of potassium powder.

Take the powder and fill it up with any other fluid and blend it. Do not use water as this will dilute the powder and take longer for it to kill you. Liquid muscle relaxers would be good. Also drink alcohol and get drunk while you do it.

Put it in an iv bag and attatch a cannula to a vein in your arm.

Squeeze the bag into the needle in your arm slowly and make sure that it travels through the tube and into your vein.

In moments, your potassium channels will open. Potassium controls the rythm and rate of which the heart beats and will induce a heart attack in excess.

However it will be instant. You will did in seconds, and even if you don’t you will fall unconscious before you feel a thing.

Make sure you do it in a location no one is going to interrupt you. Maybe in a locked boiler cupboard, a closet, a cupboard, small space below the stairs.

Your chances of survival will be minimal.

kek you are so like me when it comes to medifags I think the number one reason I have not kys on many occasions is the thought of medifags fucking with my body....only been to a doctor like twice in 20 years and each time I was on death's doors.....will not go into hospitals not even to see my own family.

It's not that I think I will experience anything, I just cannot stand the bastards and the thought of them using my body for their own gain.

kek you wrote that while I was writing this

How about you don't give them a reason to laugh about some loser kysfag and instead go out there and make them talk about how great you are and that they secretly want to cuck their husbands with you? Stop this sudoku shit.

https:\\discordapp.com\invite\8qeq9Xn

-1hs

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od on morphine

Maybe you shouldn't kys and we should get together and murder medifags instead...kek

We use the fool proof drowning without a body method on them...lmao

somersault off a sky scraper as many times as you can, the more you flip the more you should hug your knees closer to yur body you might pick up speed and splatter all over the ground below youll just be sheets of skin and shattered bones

whos gonna medfag the medfags

>How do I kill myself in england

>Jump infront of a train

0 chance of survival. Fast trains will break your spine. 0% chance they will fuck with your body since it will be torn limb by limb.

>Jump off high junkie flats, the top floor

0% of survival, 0% they will fuck with your body because you will be a pancake

>Book a flight, shoot the pilot

0% chance of survival. Will land in the ocean and drown. Or hit the earth in a ball of flames. 0% chance doctors will fuck with your body since either cthulu will have you, or you are star dust now

>Put a fork into a live socket
>Toaster in bathtub
>Touch a live overhead wire/electrical box/train line

0% chance of survival. Dead in seconds. Paralyzed and unable to let go, ineverable death. Chance doctors will fuck with your body, but you’ll be nonetheless dead.

>Pay somebody to shank you to death

Allow them to sell your organs on the dark net. 0% chance doctors will fuck with your body.

>Stick your head out of an uber and close the window

Your head will chop off, 0% chance of survival. Doctors may fuck with your body. You may also get one star on your uber app too.

Why are you jealous of people in med?

I’m a previous nurse/current paramedic what’s your problem?

'why are you so jealous of me'
> Then proceeds to ask why people dislike medfags.

As a medfag,

I hope that you live and don’t kill yourself. Not because I think it’s the moral thing to say, but because you want to kill medfags out of sheer jealousy that you’re a beta loser who has misanthropy, specifically with a hate towards medfags.

I hope you don’t achieve death, user.

It’s a genuine question. You’re jealous right?

I dont hate medfags at all. I just dont want medfags playing around with my cadaver and having banter as they cut me apart and fuck around with my junk.

Put a broomstick down your throat and swan dive off of a building

I’m a med fag and OP is kinda right.

I have saved many people alongside great people, however...

Ill jokes towards patients who are unconscious and dying patients is the norm in hospitals. If you have ever worked in recuss, you will know what I mean.

“Why the long face” towards a cardiac arrest patient is the norm.

But this is only because the job comes with dark humour. We see death on the daily that people do it to make light of a shitty situation. I know that it’s sad, but it’s the harsh reality in the medical industry.

Especially when you’re a paramedic, they give it the worst. Sexism, sexual harassment, joking during CPR is common.

But I work as a nurse, and its not uncommon for people to joke about shitty situations.

I wouldn’t say this is a reason to kill yourself over though OP. If you die on land, there is a high chance that you will be found and an autopsy will be done anyway.....

Then why did you say maybe we should kill medfags?

The main reason you get “fiddled” with is

- They need to investigate what happens to you
- Your organs have to be removed before a funeral service takes place because rotten organs speed up decomposition
- Your organs deserve another home if they are still functioning

Come on. Don’t be a fucking pussy. You’d be dead, why do you care about people joking about you anyway, or talking about how ugly you are?

It doesn’t impact you now and won’t when your dead

I had a skin disorder for a decade, after a lot of trial and error, adjustments to my lifestyle/environment and just time, it more or less disappeared.
Habitual wake up/work/drink etc can be changed by moving somewhere else. England is the fucking pits man, and will make anyone with half a brain depressed if you don't fit in.

For your face, is it a medical deformity? Don't trust the internet because I see people call models a 4/10 on here. I'd recommend you try relocating to a sunny country for a year and making a go of it. If you have savings, then just take an extended trip somewhere abroad. It won't magically change anything, but it will give you some perspective and ideas.
If you want a cheaper time of it, then volunteer overseas for 6 months. There are places all over the world where you can do that. Mostly they cover your food/accommodation and you pay for your flight.
It will remove the crap routine, take your mind off yourself because you'll be helping other people, and you'll usually be somewhere with good weather and more nature.
Since you are talking about killing yourself, you are better off loading a different game for a while and trying that out. The England game generally sucks arse.
If you are under 30, you can apply for a working holiday visa for 1-2 years in australia or new zealand. Better weather, better pay and a different kind of lifestyle.

Bruhhhhhhhhh. Im not killing myself because of medfags. I'm killing myself for other shit, But just doing it in a way to try and prevent an autopsy.

and i can imagine about the dark humour. humans are fucking shit. I can just imagine someone laid dead there on the coroners table and one of the lads cutting their dick off and slapping their coworker with it just for a laugh or some shit. fuck having the temple ive lived in my entire life being used as a banter toy by some overpaid body butchers.

Because they make a mockery of the Hippocratic Oath.

They charge a fucking fortune for their services, while using people as fucking experiments for peanuts.

If they do wrong they all cover for each other and take zero responsibility

They charge for a service but if they are late they dont give a refund...because they think they are like fucking angels

medfag usually means a qualified doctor, not a low-rung faggot with a chip on his shoulder

That was not me (OP).
> I OP said i dont want an autopsy
> some other guy said he hates medfags so understands
> other guy then says maybe i should kys because we can team up and go against medfags.

Fuck kys OP.....You and I....we going to start the;

Medical Liberation Army

And liberate the world from medical slavery that these medifags have created.

>- Your organs deserve another home if they are still functioning

We will give these medifags a new home at the bottom of the ocean.

KEK

Your killing yourself . Be creative. Buy a plane ticket to tahiland . Fuck whores get drunk. Go to middle of jungle, set self on fire . Become one with forest .

I don’t know what country you are from but I am from the UK and I have been stationed as a Paramedic for over 21 years.

Working in the industry as a Paramedic, we are not really seen as “professionals” in our own right, but semi professionals, therefore we deal with work related issues in our own profession.

Second, we are front line in hospital care. I have to deal with fags everyday. I have also almost been knifed because some idiot thought it would be good to call himself an ambulance, just to pull a knife out and “kill someone that night” to release his anger. This sounds like you, and you remind me of that very night.

We deal with more shit than you ever have on a daily basis, being ridiculued daily and sometimes we don’t even get a thanks at the end of it, and also the pay isn’t great at all.

You have a really narrow view of the medical industry, and if it wasn’t for these “medfags” you probably wouldn’t be here today.

Do you think your ancestors lived this long without health care? Probably not

So what if people are shit. It doesn’t mean you need to generalise a whole industry because of your shitty experience with people in medical professions

It happens in every fucking workplace. Yes accountability is a problem in the health care industry, but that’s purely because a lot of people don’t want to be held accountable for fucking up, or putting themselves in a position that will make them lose their job.

The only accountability issues I see on the daily are people wanting to avoid issues by rejecting to work on a certain thing because they think they’re incompetent to do so, and i’ve never “covered” for anybody, because that would bring me problems.

>medfag
>med implies anybody that is a qualified medical professional with a license and is registered with a regulatory body to practice.

Shut the fuck up, loser.

my plan is to go to Cornwall
await the tide going out
swim until I can't swim no more
be dined upon by fishes

your eyes hurt a lot, if you do a breath choke then that's even more pain. To do a good blood choke, you need to have it very tight but thats not always possible. It's not a just "omg you're a pussy", it's physical pain that your body will be averse to. Not to mention if it's a drop, you better break your neck or else good luck...you flail around. Not to mention you can be dead for 10 minutes but stil be rescued and end up paralysed but concious for the rest of your life

ITT:

Medifags arguing about using OPs organs before he has even kys

You could not make this shit up.

You’re a loser. Just off yourself faggot. You’re the type of neek to fap to traps and wonder why females won’t like him you gay faggot

I wouldn’t want your flea infested, hiv ridden beta organs anywhere inside me anyway even if I was dying

lol that meme. They reduce the amount in consumer available tanks to prevent this. The only way to is pose as a commercial entity which takes paperwork

>chip on shoulder - check
>overly inflated outward ego, but low self esteem - check
>probably thinks he runs the hospital - check

Well, I’m sure you’ll get a lot of suggestions but you could just steal a car, then drive it really fast into something stationary. Anything over 70 mph would kill you instantly and obliterate your remains if you don’t wear a seatbelt.

good plan OP

bs.
Argon from a welding suppliers is better than Helium, heavier than air unlike Helium and wont escape from your lungs if the bag comes off.

heroin overdose, dying feels like euphoria. Also write a will so they don't fuck with body.

18 years experience as a nurse, charge nurse and worked my way to consultant. So yeah, I have “ran a hospital” before kek.

Both as a charge nurse, and also as a consultant. Inflated ego? No.

I didn’t exert my medical dick at all. All I said was that a medical profession related to any medical profession that has a regulatory body within the health care industry.

But if you would like me to bite, I earn triple as much as you ever will in a year, I had the ambition to get through university. Work as a nurse for a number of years. Work my way up. Go to medical school in my later years.

Now i’m a consultant earning over £100k+ a year. Stay jelly faggot, and maybe one day when you’re dying on your bed side from ODing, you will probably think back to what you said about medfags in regret and wish there was someone there to save you.

Medifags scum of the earth

Just read this fucking thread

OP says he does not want an autopsy and they now going to take over his kys thread to argue about how fucking marvellous they all are

You could not make this shit up.

>wonders why everyone hates 'med fags'
>displays his obnoxious personality to demonstrate the reason clearly
Chip on your shoulder pleb with mental problems.

Nah, you’re just mad that I corrected you

>a medfag usually implied a qualified doctor
>medfag implies any medical professional on a register

You’re ultimately jealous because either

1) You failed medical school/uni and have a deep seeded hatred towards anybody that actually survived it

2) You’re a NEET in general that hates that other people are better than you.

Stay a loser. At the end of the day you are posting from your mothers house, and probably don’t even pay rent at the age of 24.

Big ol' air bubble in the vein

Run around the streets screaming I have a deadly spoon (swat will be dispensed in seconds)

RIP OP.

LETS TALK ABOUT WHY OP WANTS TO KYS

>Standard shit. Facially deformed. (Genuine 2/10 according to the internet).
>Literally make women feel physically sick just on account of my appearance.
>Skin disorders which feel like im being drowned in acid 24/7.
>Fed up of years of just wake up, work, go home, drink alone all night. rinse and repeat. for years

So have you no option to correct your deformity with surgery OP?

In regards to the deformity, Like, The left side of my face is normal, But then, literally divided down the middle, Right jaw is a different shape, right ear is a different size and shape, right eye is a different height and shape, cheek / skull structure is just fucked on the right side.

There either isnt actually surgery to fix some of those things, or i just cant afford it.

Talking like 10-15k just to go from a 2/10 to a 4/10.

>redditor joined the secret club a week ago and thinks he knows what all the lingo means
medfag is Doctor, it doesn't mean someone who changes bedpans or mops the floor. You didn't go through medical school, you went to a janitor's training weekend where you learned about which detergent to use on which surfaces, and where to tip the biological waste containers filled up by real Doctors.
Maybe you'll upgrade again one day and become a security guard, then you'll really be running things.

Dedicate yourself to something else, volunteer overseas and do good deeds. It will help with your mindset but it will also show people your character. If you like the first 3-6 months, you can keep doing it long term.
England is really bad for the mind. Once you are out of it for long enough, and in a more sane place, you will feel more sane too. You just have to drop it all behind you.

I think at some point or another. All men are motivated by instincts. I have absolutely no intention of spending the remainder of a lifestyle being not allowed to fulfill the instinctual mental goals drummed into us males because of physical deformity out of my control.

>There either isnt actually surgery to fix some of those things, or i just cant afford it.

I know where you are coming from, I live in a country where you have to pay for medical, just spent the price of a new car to have my teeth fixed up.

I reckon I am a 5/10 but I am 54 now...body is starting to fall apart, I am an endurance athlete and sailor(the guy with the swim advice), I cant sleep with the pain from my training, I think I would also rather kys than stop training and slowly rot away like most people choose to do.

I just want to get a big cruising boat and sail off shore into international waters and stay there away from society.

So if rejection and cruel comments and stuff like that is your problem why don't you just escape to nature where your looks will be ZERO importance?

I train too and my knee always hurts. Stretching and rest doesn't help. I rested for an entire month and no help

Anyway, OP's off to sleep now. Thread will surely be dead by the time im up. Cheers for the ideas / strategies to everyone who helped. All the best lads!.

sweet dreams

Easy and cheap: Get a concrete block, a short chain, and two locks. Cary it out to the end of a pier at night. Lock the chain securely around your leg at one end and around the concrete block at the other. Jump. All over very quickly.

Any tall building. Do it faggot

Which part of " I don't want a bunch of fucking student doctors pissing about with corpse."

Would you like me to explain to you

See

Fly to America and instigate shit with the cops. Having a knife helps.

Do you not have trains in the UK?

Guys!!!!!!

He does not want an autopsy, that means there must be no body to find after.

>duct tape
> instead of a simple pipe bomb
This sounds like a great way to get partial results.

Attached: 5B24888F-3226-4C1B-ADED-107FF33673EE.jpg (302x433, 37K)

Sad fucking shit

Fucked up world we live in. Where people kys because they cant afford the medical treatment.

OP has gone to bed but this is why he wants to kys

>Standard shit. Facially deformed. (Genuine 2/10 according to the internet).
>Literally make women feel physically sick just on account of my appearance.
>Skin disorders which feel like im being drowned in acid 24/7.
>Fed up of years of just wake up, work, go home, drink alone all night. rinse and repeat. for years

Way to go user......fuck this place is the last place to come if you want support

This is a deadly stream? Ok whatever you dumb cunt.
Just kidding. Actually I remember reading about this. Evidently the river below the surface is extremely wide and undercuts far into the land. So what you see on top is actually just a sliver of the river hidden below. It’s a wide channel underneath that runs through jagged rock.

Attached: 35E9DA65-54A6-4337-89A4-85E9C367E48A.jpg (589x390, 97K)

Do you always stumble into the middle of conversations and make comments without hearing the beginning?

atlasobscura.com/places/bolton-strid

>will barely feel it
Thermite doesn’t burn through anything quickly you dink.
>it burns fast!
It does but not any faster than gasoline the moment you set yourself on fire with it.

Both those methods are death by asphyxiation. It will absolutely lead to brain damage if not successful.

Do your own googling sir.

>so hot it will kill before touching your scalp
Yeah I haven’t seen the videos where they used it on engine blocks made from 80% water.

Shhhh! I just said that he would barely feel it so that he might do it and tape it and someone might post it on LL or some shit. I want to see what thermite will do to a person's skull. That and the microwave thing.

>As for your credentials, do you actually expect people to believe that somebody with decades of rescue experience is egging on suicidals on Yea Forums.org?

You seem to have zero life experience friend. I have a family member who works in emergency medicine and he is one of the most judgmental pieces of shit I know. He seems to get along just fine with his coworkers and fits right in. From the stories he tells many of his coworkers think the exact same way.

Have you honestly ever met an asshole cop who lacks empathy?

read the post idiot;

>Find me a story where someone tried to kys using the above and ended up a veggie

Post it again

Yes just checked no story of anyone using those methods which led to brain damage and not death.

Ball's in your court buddy

Sorry guys I lied, the Strid is a super safe place to swim. Those bright red signs and the legend that noone has survived swimming in it are just to scare people away from swimming in the river, I blame environmental activists. But regardless, go for a nice refreshing dip with some of the most beautiful natural surroundings nature an provide.

Well, if you want to get eternity in hellfire so badly then this is the most solid option.

You shouldn't worry about survival. Can always try again. Hell is worse anyway.

Get Elon Musk to sign off on having you strapped to the launch pad right under the main engine nozzle. I imagine there wouldn't even be DNA left over.

Yes hell is real, let's all listen to this person because religion in all its forms is not contradictory to reality, because we all know that the depictions of physical torment caused in hell will be effective when you no longer have a fucking body.

>Nice idea but it dosen't solve the autopsy part.
You can't do fucking magic, faggot. If you could, you would not want to kill yourself.

With a body there is at least a limit to the pain people can experience. No limits to that in hell.

Just jump off a bridge fuck what people do with your corpse. How narcissistic are you?

Have already gotten a body once. We know it is possible.

Right because saying it is possible without scientific proof makes it real. Hell is a means to control weak minded simpoltones with the fear of the unknown.

(B4 u off urself english boy/girl i have a quick question)
A Gook here and currently living in EU...
I just want to ask u guys if some part of EU uses drugs/medicine to kids if they're the quiet/shy type in class and if so they prescribed some kind of medicine to take so that the kid will participate in class..
But the problem is... that my Aunt told me that there comes a time her daughter is talking to herself and yells at her like a spoiled child and my Aunt never hits or yelled at her because she's very kind... And it happened after many months of taking the meds.
(also in here parents r not allowed to hit/verbally abuse the child so that's cool)
I don't know if it's normal here in EU not gonna mention the country because im just a gook guy who is curious and I don't want any trouble.

you do know you can put in your will that your body wont be donated to science, right? so then they can't use your body after you die.

Well whichever method you choose, tape it and have a bud of yours upload it. But srsly why do you give one shit what happens to your body? When I die I don't care if you rape be in the ass or feed me shit because I'll be fucking dead.

Start doing hard drugs. You'll kill yourself eventually and you will be too fucked up to care when you do

boo hooo i wanna daie but aye dunna wanna huuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrt

fuck off you fucking crybaby

Jesus said this “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
If it's rest you're looking for It's not just death that can free you from the weight of the world. You're feeling too much pressure, man.

God bless

We are all just shit, bile, piss and cum rapped in a slowly rotting meat shell that fools itself into thinking there's more to life than just oblivion. It's cruel to lie to yourself.

you're just looking at the negative side. If we're just masses of meat and fluids then who literally gives a fuck? If nothing matters than why should you feel pressure from the universe around you? There is more to life than oblivion because there is LIFE. Life is the opposite of oblivion, and just because that might be the fate of everything, well so what? If its the fate of everything than oblivion is as natural as breathing, and should not be feared as an outcome.

Here's my bad boy I rigged up at Christmas to kys, could have killed a whole football team with this baby

Attached: ExitMK1.jpg (941x1263, 255K)

christmas was like 5 months ago dude

Obtain nembutal

Helium tanks need to contain 100% helium, the ones sold in party stores are 80 oercent. Not enough to insure death.

Fuck what??? I missed it.

>I rigged up at Christmas to kys, could have

Ok see the "could have" that means it's past tense.

1. January
2. February
3. March
4. April

Here's a chart I made for you so you can work out which month we are in...you're welcome

Attached: CouldHave.jpg (1271x769, 170K)

Best way to kill yourself: Become a wagecuck for 70 years, working for your boss's dream while you slowly wither away

It's Argon you twit, can you not read?

Argon is better, it is heavier than air wont come out of your lungs if the mask comes off, a lot cheaper and is easier to obtain, it is also supposed to have a narcotic effect.

Also anything other than air or oxygen will kill you, as long as it does not cause you to cough or convulse and allow the mask to come off.

10 years as a freediver, please don't give me your Google advice