I swear, I don't belong anywhere. I've tried hard. First, obviously, was my family. No luck there

I swear, I don't belong anywhere. I've tried hard. First, obviously, was my family. No luck there.
Second, primary school, secondary school, high school, now college. I've never found a mate who would be like me, but I don't even know if I wish for that. What I truly wish for, is to find a friend, someone for whom I will be worth as much as he is to me.
Same is with girls. Sure, internal conflicts make it hard to create and maintain a relationship, but expierence tells me I could have a girlrfriend if I wanted to. The thing is, none of them seems worth trying for.
Can't say the same about men. Plenty of guys I feel like I could at least get along with them, but it never happens, let alone real friendship.
There is no social group I feel I could belong to. Not people irl, not Yea Forums, not 9gag, reddit, whatever.
Yea Forums is the closest one though, but even taken that into consideration, there's plenty of feels threads where people write their life stories. None of them matches mine. Not that mine is exceptional, it's dull, but still I've never read a comment that would describe my life. Not even once.
That's the worst. I'm not full into depression, I don't want to kill myself, but I'm far from being a functional person either. I can relate to nobody.
Holy fuck, I'm making this thread for the sole purpose of some user replying with 'hey, I've never related to anybody in this world either. You're not alone in being completely alone'.

Do it for me anons, just say 'I don't know what to even answer to that, why would I answer anyway', and I will know I'm not alone.

Also a feels thread if you feel like it

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Nah man it's the way I am aswell. I try and fake being good friends with people so that atleast they feel good and I can tell myself I have friends, but I don't have a "best friend" and I don't think I ever will. I feel like my specific personality just doesn't connect with others without me basically acting every day I'm with other people.

what your relations with people irl look like though?

Socialising is hard, I can't blame ya
Society is confusing
I mostly find myself in a place where you are, I feel ya mate

I'm not sure if this helps, but I don't want you to feel lonely :(

Good Luck OP

I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.

I feel like no luck is needed here, just some grinding, whatever it takes.
Cannot do that at the moment, don't know how and where to start

Watch YouTube let's plays or vidya livestreams and it'll feel like you have friends.

Light a building on fire then jump into it

The ones I think are good enough to talk to on a regular basis are pretty good. I usually switch friends every two years because we "drift apart". I just feel like the first five minutes I talk to a person, that's when I know exactly how they are going to act and be. So far it hasn't been wrong either which just goes to show that no one has been actually interesting enough for me to feel like I could connect with, without already knowing what the outcome of a deeper conversation is going to be.

aren't you bored of 'deeper' convos already. I fear them, and can't help but roll my eyes every time somebody is trying to tell me what they feel and think deep deep down.
So I avoid those at all cost

Well, what do you for hobbies? Thought about getting into some manner of gearhead shit? Cars (autocross, trackdays, rallycross, etc). Motorcycles (pick your preferred flavor, but dual sport delinquency is the fucking best)? You CAN enjoy them with other people, but I find they're excellent outlets for someone who can deal with people but can't BE with people.

I am, but usually that's what people would define as connecting with someone. You could classify this as a deeper conversation to be honest, but I share the feelings of this vast loneliness that so far no person has been able to atleast poke a hole into and even just look to try and understand. I'm surrounded by people who call me their friend but they can just be used to give varying, predictable, reactions to my words.

Well, that's kinda the point. I don't like anything, never found my passion, never found a hobby.
I do like playing csgo, but I kinda feel ashamed of it for obvious reasons and would never do it if I could find a hobby I could actually thrive on.
And even there, in csgo community, I am "that guy" in every group I come across, they all sense I'm different and often try to mock me, so no luck there either

PvP gaming is a shitshow of human toxicity. Don't worry about reactions there.

Besides interpersonal relationships, how's your life goin cause maybe that one Jordan Peterson book can help you out

i need to remember to get it myself to be honest

I don't think there exists a single PVP community less toxic than any other PVE community, it's ridiculous how far the toxins spread. I feel like you can liken it to wartime toxicity without the constant threat of death to humble you

It's not talking about random, toxic 20iq fags, I'm talking about folks I've been playing with for >2 years

Other that relationships I'm like full depression mode - I will probably get expelled from my uni for not attending mandatory classes and doing projects, I feel like I can't do anything simple, like cleaning up my room, doing laundry, going out for walks or even eating

I don't feel like I've ever properly connected to a person before. Everyone feels so ridiculously different from me. I'm not depressed or sucidal but I don't feel like I belong here a lot of the time. I don't really want to relate with the people I see most of the time either though. When I do finally find someone I actually admire, their flaws come up and they're horrifying.

I don't know if that's what you wanted to hear or not but there you go.

Yes man, yes. That's actually what I wanted to read, what I wanted to know.
Cheers man

Life sucks being alone and most people suck in general as well but when u find your special peeps you'll be fine could try therapy or for perhaps faster results change location join an org of like minded individuals