Hi
I think I might be addicted to cocaine.
Anyone else here feel that they may be in the same situation?
Its been a few weeks now and I've spent quite a bit of money on blow and I could have spent that on other things, or given it to my family, or put it in savings. But I didn't, I just kept buying coke.
Inb4 kill yourself, loser, druggie, junkie, loser etc.
I don't think anyone else knows and I know I need to stop. Would benzos help? I'm not gonna start drinking again.
What kind of moron am I?
Well I vape.
You should seek help.
As someone who knows a lot about that life, you better take it more seriously. You will be ashamed but tell your family so they can support your recovery. That's what family and friends are for.
Either that or keep it a secret, and eventually start smoking crack because it's "not that big of a deal, and its the same thing + baking soda" because sniffing so much coke starts eating away at the cartilidge in your nose
but what do I know
For the vaping or my liking seagulls?
First it was constant weed smoking, then constant drinking till I almost killed myself twice in 4 months, now it's coke, and probably benzodiazepines next or some kind of tranq.
I feel like I'm on a path to disaster and dont know how to stop.
If I don't do coke in the day I become a different person, have to get away and do a bit then I feel "normal" and everythings cool for a bit. Then the cycle resumes.
What the fuck have I done. Fuck.
If it’s only been a few weeks you can stop with some effort. Try and avoid people you do it with for a while. Avoid the situations that make you want to do it. The patterns of a habit are probably pretty recognizable to you so be honest with yourself about why you were doing it in the first place.
Coke is one of those drugs that opens 9 bad doors for every good one. Not worth it.
If true, just taper off and fucking do it. No easy solution. Trading for benzos? No. I’m trying to get off xanax. No fun.
Everyone goes through addiction. People who call you that are hiding theirs or will become an addict someday themselves.
My drugs of choice are weed and alcohol, I don't fuck with coke. I was the same way though, blowing through all my money. I was nasty to my family about it, too.
Don't sweat it, you'll get over it. Even if you have to go to rehab like I did. When I went, it was the best 4 months I had in a long time, maybe even ever.
Yeah, pills these days are really addictive. Never tried any benzos, but I had friends talk about how much of a bitch it is to quit.
good, keep giving all you're money to your friendly neighbourhood blow dealer
Bro I just put my family thru months of shit due to my drinking, smashed my car up and almost killed myself. Then a few months later ended up in the ER with withdrawals and they thought I was about to die from seizure.
They think I'm doing better but I've found myself in this situation and they don't know.
I feel like a fucking lying scumbag who has lost control. I can't put them through this, its just not an option.
Rehab now or start doing benzos then rehab. That's REALLY going to hurt and cold-turkey quitting benzos can kill you.
I moved away from people who I associated with so now I'm alone, trying to avoid detection and keep my job while becoming a drug addict at the same time.
I started buying half grams, then grams, then 3.5 g bags now 7g bags that last a few days. I tried dividing it up into daily doses but just do it all anyway.
It's mail order, bro. I even sent it off for analysis and its like 80%.
have you used it with alcohol?
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the diazepam as well.
I was a drinker but stopped. Now I do coke, don't eat or sleep properly, use valium and lie to my family.
ok because when combined with alcohol your liver produces a new substance -> cocaethylene
it's more addictive and you'll have the same problem like when you drink and smoke cigarettes
and when you stop smoking or in your case stop sniffing and you would drink again, your brain would "need" the coke or in other cases the cigarettes because of the dopamine
I feel you my guy. I was in the same position, i was buying an oz every two weeks and going thru it immediatley. I stopped cold turkey and started vaping immediatly. And i say this because nicotine while bad for you, is much much less harmful if harmful at all to you that cocaine, not only that but it hits the areas in your brain the same as cocaine does and allows for you to co.e off of cocaine without any withdrawal. Vape a shit ton, i mean attempt to dome yourself every 10 hits. Do this for about a month, and youll justbe a vaper and no problems. Also you can then quit vaping. I went from 2 oz a month to completely drug free in 1 month and i havent touched coke in almost 2 year, not to mention that i dont even smoke anymore as well
Yeah I had a drinking problem which I addressed. I am currently attending sessions for people with drug and alcohol problems.
I sit there knowing that although I'm not drinking, I've just moved on to something else.
So I'm a liar. I'm lying to myself and those that are trying to help. I'm continuing to behave the way I did when I was a drinker. I smoke Marlboro reds now as well and seem to get though about 4 packs a week.
I live on my own and work away from home. I used to do things like go for walks, visit friends, show interest in things. Now that's all gone.
This
I can get hold of decent diazepam so I am hoping I can use that to help.
At my rehab sessions there's a girl who was smoking crack a lot and loads of other shit, and she went to her doctor for help. She was given diazepam at an initial high dose, reducing by 5mg a week. I don't know for how long but she seems ok and doesn't smoke crack anymore.
So if I can just not buy anymore fucking coke and try valium and smoking/vaping could that work?
I can't put my family through this I have to do it alone. They can't find out. It would be the end of them.
Live life brother. I know guys that have been doing blow for over 30 years. They started it to keep them awake while driving over the road trucking. Been doing it ever since. Just don't let it control you. You have to control it. Few lines a day is ok. They have zero health problems. It's like weed for your nose
I used to be.
Sounds like you can't fuckin handle your drugs bud. Some people should probably just stay sober. Seek help before you sink even lower.
That looks like decent shit.
I DO COCAINE!!!
I can't fuckin handle anything,bro.
Yes. Dont include your family at all. Then you will go from having a problem to being a trash asshole. Youre a man my guy and you can fix this i know you can. Dont fuck with benzos, all it is, is basically alcohol in a pill. I would vape. And when you feel like you need coke, vape and smoke as much as possible. Also, smoking weed should be fine unless youre aiming to not do that. You can fucking do this op. And when you need help, just find someone to talk to. Just stay strong in the head because thats all a drug addiction is, its all in your head. Now go fucking kick ass you faggot
Take a heavy dose of lsd or mushrooms and focus on the things you want to change about yourself.
This is what shit of that quality does lol.
Been there too bro...lots of drugs, humilliation and regret
Ive been "clean" for a couple of months and feel great
The cheat pill is modafinil, youll feel well awake and wanting to be productive
Good energy levels and supresses hunger
Im aiming to create momentum with this new active lifestyle and then taper off
Its been really helpful and given me hope bro, I cant stress it enough
D...Dustin?
For both...
>Everyone
Doubtful
You could try switching to ady, so you could be a productive addict.
Thanks for your words, man.
The people I could talk to are the same ones that think I've stopped doing this, because I was in a similar position last year. The subject doesn't come up anymore, like its forgotten, in the past and I've moved on.
But I haven't. I've found a way to resume it without the drinking, hiding it, attending sessions like a fraud, lying about being better now etc
But I know I have to stop. I have like 2 grams, maybe 3 left. I have a busy job so I'm gonna have to limit myself to a measured amount in the day.I know this is gonna be shit but it won't last forever? If I can make this last 2 weeks then maybe it will start to lose its grip.
I can feel it changing me man. I'm sure other people are starting to notice.
Thanks for your suggestion. I feel fucking terrible guilt. I can see some bad shit coming my way unless I get a grip on this. It sounds ridiculous but I didn't realise this is happening until today. I didn't sleep much last night, was a waste of space at work and left early, came home for some blow and about 6 cigarettes, then went back to work feeling fine. It must be obvious something is going on, I'm treating people like they're as fucking stupid as I am.
I don't want to be an addict.
OP here
Thanks for everyone's replies, I'm gonna have to bail on my thread and go to bed, or at least try to sleep.
For regular visitors here I will report back in a week or so with honesty.
Remember me as the "lying moron coke addict".
Thanks again, Brothers. You've been more helpful than you know.
I was addicted to coke basically all through my 20s. Just gotta stop and take yourself out of situations that will tempt you to relapse. I stopped going out every weekend.
Xanax definitely helps with the come down but be careful cause I went from coke to benzo. And benzo withdraw is way worse than coke. I recommend getting professional help if you think you have a serious problem. If you can’t do rehab, then try to stay clean and see a therapist or NA meeting.
I was addicted to cocaine for a while some years ago. I spent what little savings I had at the time and that ended the problem.
If you want my opinion, cocaine is a fucking crap drug. It's expensive, it fucks up your body, and worst of all, it doesn't last much so you end up just thinking all the time about the next line instead of having fun doing anything else.
I realized amphetamines are SO MUCH BETTER than coke in every possible way years ago, and except for the occasional friend inviting me for his birthday, I haven't done coke since.
PS:
The problem with the short duration and having to redose so often is 90% of the reason it's so addictive.
I have been doing speed, MDMA and other drugs and not only had more fun, cheaper and for longer, but also never get cravings and can stay clean for as many weeks as I want or have to.
just smoke weed
If you're not sucking 2gs up your nose a day or injecting it; sit down and chill out. You dont need help you need control.
Well I am adicted to speed :< coke to expensive for my broke ass :
OP here again.
I've done it all,brother. MDMA/Pills was an issue for a while and i'm sure its permanently fucked my brain and ruined the last 10 years of my life. I've gone from one disaster to the next but managed to dodge death/jail each time.
But this time it's different. This stuff has a hold over me and its turned/turning me into a complete degenerate. I get paid well but that's only as good as this remaining a secret. I can't tell anyone and it's consuming me day by day.
MDMA doesn't work on me anymore. Speed keeps me awake for 3 days straight and I don't eat or sleep the whole time then crash hard and recede into a deep depression which then drives me back to whatever will rid me of that feeling.
Then it starts again and before I know it I've got another bag of shiny stinking blow lined up which disappears in a day.
You're right and I know it. Its expensive but all it takes is a quick online order and its in my hand the next day and off I go again. Money comes in, goes out, and each time I feel more and more shit but in complete denial.
I know all this but can't stop. I used to enjoy so much stuff and I spend time remembering times before this horror, times with my caring loving family and the only people that still give a shit about me - needless to say the ones that I clearly don't give a shit about. Only myself and my coke seem to matter. Everything else can wait for as long as it takes, which currently, is an indefinite time.
Holy shit I don't have words to describe the extent of my guilt and shame, selfishness, thoughtless asshole behavior.
What the fuck am I going to do.
3.5g in 2 days man. And this is good quality stuff. Even the person that supplies me seems concerned and we've never even met.
Coke isn't addictive faggot
you won't withdraw from it
you may want it, but you're not "addicted"
Also you probably get shit coke anyways. All the coke nowadays is SOOOOO shitty. Fuck back in 2006 $60 a gram and you'd be good for fucking at least 2 hours.
I can almost guarantee that what you're getting is just speed (meth or dex) and baby lax.
Anyways trade the vice for Oxy. It's better- last longer- you can sleep.
I spend about £70 a weekend on it, wouldn't say I'm addicted. If you're feeling like this tell someone you trust and get help. I've seen first hand how a coke addiction can ruin a life.
Try to whip up some quality crack from it and step up your game.
Weed brings on high grade paranoia and psychosis,bro.I tried hash hoping it would chill me out but instead I went on some kind of day-long bad trip.
Never again.
So like... stop buying blow? Idk how that’s a hard concept.
To be honest it wouldn't surprise me if that happens.
Yeah I've thought about that and tried it. I had a really bad few days, I was like a different person.
Justin?
>Also you probably get shit coke anyways. All the coke nowadays is SOOOOO shitty. Fuck back in 2006 $60 a gram and you'd be good for fucking at least 2 hours.
It's not shit man. It's fiendish and I've sent a sample for testing.Its not cut with speed or caffeine etc. It came back like 80%.
You seem to be in genuine pain, which I'm sorry to hear.
Take my advice for what's worth, but if I was in your place my no1 priority would be to replace the coke addiction for something more manageable like an amphetamine habit, and then work from there.
I'm not sure as what do you mean by speed, but I would guess it's meth, which is a problem in itself. If you have the means, try find aderall instead, which is less addictive and has a much better comedown than meth. After a few days doing amphetamine you will reach a state it will only get you so high regardless how much you do, and you will feel again the need to sleep and eat.
Op I hope you find the will and manage to get the help you need. Perhaps try some Cocaine Anonymous meetings. I think you mentioned briefly that you seem to go from one substance whether it is alcohol, cocaine etc, to the next but were also talking about weening yourself off of coke with benzo's, if I did read that right perhaps have a think and consider whether it would be better quitting cold turkey, can you trust yourself not to become addicted to a new drug which is meant to be the solution. Either way op I wish you the best of luck, don't throw your life away, from the amount you're doing you've got a decently paying job, and have family and friends who have stuck around through your past struggles.
PS:
If by chance you can get access to prescription drugs you can take a naloxone tablet every time you do coke. This will "ruin" the pleasure of coke despite you still getting high which quickly kills all cravings for the drug.
Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
Cocaine Anonymous (CA)
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
Chrystal Meth Anonymous (CMA)
Heroin Anonymous (HA)
or you're fucked
Dopeless Hopefiend
Bump
All and any advice is appreciated, bro. Thank you.
No not methamphetamine, which I have tried of course, but had no effect. This was after my years of MDMA abuse which itself is a methyl amphetamine so I've clearly destroyed part of my brain which responds to that stimulant, just like MDMA has no effect on me anymore.
I just wanna sleep,man. Work, socialise like a normal human, eat properly and sleep well. Speed (amphetamine) just keeps me awake for days on end before slamming me down into a pit of despair.
But fuck this. I'ma selfish ignorant disrespectful ungrateful asshole and I need to get a fucking grip. Replacing one chemical with another won't help. I need to go through some pain and come out stronger.
You brothers have helped me more that you could imagine and I didn't expect such considerate and constructive replies but I thought it was worth a go.
I should be grateful I'm not dead, or living on the streets... or that I haven't killed anyone through my actions and that I still have some people in my life that give a shit about me. But if they find out I think that would be the final chance blown.
Then I would be on my own, probably jobless, homeless, friendless (which I almost already am already)... All for the sake of some coke.
Do addreall like an adult
user, it only gets worse, in NA literature says, one is too many and a thousand never enough. Get some help in Narcotics Anonymous or Cocaine Anonymous.
I know I've been there.
I've already tried benzos including lorazepam and diazepam. I'm not sure if,during the day when I feel like shit, it's the coke, valium or ativan I need.
This is really fucked up but I'm confident it's the coke at work, although dropping 5mg of valium does make me feel better for a bit. If im honest I've just kicked a drinking habit, moved on to coke, then realised that its becoming a problem and now trying to treat myself with benzos. So I could be dependent on coke and diazepam. One to go up, the other to come back down or at least temporarily stabilise myself.
But ill still go and sniff when I can. The absolute worst part of this is that I've lied to myself and have taken this path myself, and now have to cover my tracks and lie to my parents who think that I am well on the path to recovery from alcohol when in fact I'm actually a fucking cocaine addict...and probably benzo dependent too. I feel fucking terrible. I've betrayed their trust and taken advantage of the latest of many chances they've given me.
It feels bad man.
OP here
Signing out. Thank you bros, again.
I will report back soon with an update for those that might be interested,and I'll absolutely understand if nobody gives a shit.
Till the next time...
Getting drunk every night helped. Just dont let that consume you
please kill yourself retard
op is a faggot
Can you junkies explain what it's like using cocaine? I never tried it before.
Do what you love. Why do you think I'm doing these drugs. I love drugs. Drugs are a big part of my life. My fear is running out. I can't get enough and I dont think I'm any of those things
Yes
do not be fooled by the books cover.
Used to be on the same boat as you, don't worry bro you are like a little kid, you tell the kid not to touch the stove because its burning hot and the kid touches it anyways and gets badly burned.
Thats what happens with coke, we listen for advice to leave the shit alone but we dont care, it goes in through one ear and goes out the other, just waiting for the weekend to go to Ur dealer and get an 8 ball.
until you find yourself homeles, jobless, and a drained bank account. Dont worry you will get there and learn to quit cold turkey.
I used to spend over £100 per week on it. Couldn't get enough of it, how it made me feel like such a horny cd
Fun at the beginning, you feel like superman at parties and want to talk to everybody feels great, but then after doing it for a while its not fun anymore and your just doing it to avoid the crash and wasting money.Shit drug if your poor, cool drug if your rich.
when you say that it makes you feel like a different person, that shit really hits home for me.
I realized finally that in order for me to be truly drug free, i had to accept the weaknesses of my sobriety socially and not be able to use drugs as a crutch.
I don't talk to anyone now but close friends, and yeah its kind of lonely, but at least I'm not talking to everyone I see trying to be friendly (at a loss) and then going, ah well... that was stressful but I'll get it back to me when I get loaded on ______ booze dissociatives mdma kratom etc etc
It's just vicious. You gotta accept that you're weak without drugs, but at least you know what your day to day reality looks like when you aren't trying to appease anyone but yourself. That's my number one advice.
Treat yourself as numero uno, don't make concessions for ANYONE except maybe a significant other or close friend and family. Anybody else is just tax that wants to give you an excuse to get fucked up. That's how it was for me
Not sure want it every-time I have had a lot of alcohol, never take it sober
Come to Peru and die of an overdose.
Hey quick question I have severe sleeping disorders that make me sleepy all day long would cocaine help me stay awake ?
I smoke weed through a pen, probably addicted but don't care
Modafinil is great for sleeping dissorders
Adderall is great for ADHD