I'm a broken human...

Fuck, user. I do the exact same thing. Keep ghosting my best friend for months at a time. Don't know why my problem is. I'm starting to think I'm just a selfish prick.

Appreciated.

In my experience that may never change. Just imagine them having similar thoughts.

It might be your personality. You might be highly neurotic like I am. I'm not a professional and you might want to see one if you want to.
But my experience is that I get frustrated that I get anxiety even around my good friends and then I ghost them, and then get mad that they don't contact me and expect me to contact them, so I say fuck it and stay alone. I feel like not everyone gets anxiety but doesn't understand what it's like to be extra sensitive to anxiety so they get frustrated too

>I feel like everyone gets anxiety

I feel like everyone gets anxiety**

I used to be like that. Then it came an annoying girl that wouldnt leave me alone. who the fuck knows why was she infatuated with me. Eventually I said I'll date this girl and finally shut her up, she'll see that there's nothing to it (me). We go in a date and 3 years later we're married. WHAT THE FUCK.

The moral of the story. Keep to yourself and talk to anyone. Fuck it.

DONT talk to anyone.

Fuck it.

I've had girls like that. Probably would have had kids with them, but I treated them cold because I'm a pussy and don't let myself care about anyone, and eventually they left me. Kind of glad that happened because I'm not ready for kids yet

yeah similar thing happened to me, not married yet but probably will be soon

I never asked for this, it just came to me and happened

Did you write this to me? I just logged on it was first post, and I am literally doing all that stuff now. I don't know if they are my real friends, sometimes I think it's out of pity or to make them selves feel better.

>I don't know if they are my real friends, sometimes I think it's out of pity or to make them selves feel better.
That's for you to decide. If they try to take advantage of you then they probably aren't real friends. They might just be in the same position as you and don't like to be around people. Idk man but I wish you the best

Is it just me. But suddenly the financial responsibilities. A wife and kids. I loved it back then when if I wanted I could waste 4000 dlls on a computer. as I said. Fuck it.

Haha i became a tramp at 21 and lifes been fucking amazing since
Fuck your home town fuck your friends gtfo

How do you survive on your own?

You sound exactly like me. Baby steps, I started with dinners, small concerts and meeting for drinks. Things that I could leave easily if I was uncomfortable.

Surviving is next to impossible to fuck up if you live in usa. Food and water is everyfuckingwhere. Churches, foodbanks, drop ins, shelters, trash cans, restraunts, etc. If you need money you can find little jobs, panhandle, hold a sign, play an instrument, juggle, sell jokes, fucking hula hoop literally anything doesnt matter if youre good at it or not. All you have to do is leave and stay moving and your life will be 1000x better. Worst times i ever had doing this dont even come close to when i lived at home. My friends all boring lame asses that spent their 20s drinking away their wage slave paychecks. Meanwhile ive been in every state but alaska at 28 and did it all for free.

What do you do when it's cold? I'm just afraid of getting stuck in a small town with nowhere to go. But I do live in a small town and I saw a guy holding a sign get money outside of our walmart

Walk wherever its warm. I spent 3 years on foot and then someone up and gave me a car. Traded that into a van now i go around in that and dont worry about winter too much. Got a propane heater for when im awake and a nice sleeping bag when im not

Sounds good. I'm just too pussy to do it alone. I'll probably end up working at mcdonalds or something

What the fuck are you afraid of and be specific so i can shit all over it because seriously there is nothing to it its the easiest and most fun life you can live damn near no wrong answers and no responsibility
If a motherfucker cant hand you the fucking keys to the kingdom then what is the fucking point dude are you really telling me youre too much of a bitch to buy a sleeping bag and walk out of town? Fuck you think will happen? Eaten by wildlife? Raped by all the mean scary people out there? Bunch of bullshit you dreamt up while sitting around at home hating life making excuses why to never do shit?

Im in the same situation user, just dont have any friends and damn me if i have any idea how to make some with my social anxiety

things will never get better unless you stop pitying yourself.

I'm scared of a homeless shelter being too full and putting me out in the cold, and I'm scared of people in general so I think I won't make enough panhandling, and I'm scared of getting sick from eating out of a dumpster, and I'm scared of not making enough money to eat, and I'm scared of sleeping somewhere not safe and some niggers robbing everything I have. I don't know, I think too much
Just try to make friends at work, that's what everyone else does.
I'll try. I have a lot to work on. I just get mad that I was born like this and not like most people who make it look easy

There is a vid of some semi-famous person (maybe game of thrones? idk...) but he said how he misses playing world of warcraft and drinking etc (like over his wife/kids/job) kinda fucked but cool.

I think some people are just loaners man, think it's how i was built.

>I just get mad that I was born like this and not like most people who make it look easy
You were born with a predisposition towards it but it's not who you are as a person. You're not "broken" or "damaged" or "fucked up". You're just you, a person in his whatevers trying to do whatever with his life. I know it's hard not to feel like it is easy for others, but it's not. It's just as hard, they're just not telling you about it because they barely know you. In the same way that I bet you wouldn't share these kinds of personal thoughts with a random stranger on the subway. I still struggle with that myself but it's just one of those things that goes along with the territory. All you can do is be the best you you can be. Not a different person. Just you. And the best way to stagnate is to keep telling yourself, "you can't be any better than this because you were ___ to it or are ___ or damn im so ____". You're more than that.

More than an excuse to not be it, is what I mean.

>I'm scared of a homeless shelter being too full and putting me out in the cold
Dont stay at them, just eat at them. I have been down to -20f with a sleeping bag and thermarest with and without a dog. Get a dog and you will never freeze even if your dumb ass decides to stay somewhere cold af for no reason
>I'm scared of people in general so I think I won't make enough panhandling
You dont have to do shit except stand at a busy stop sign with a sign that says "broke"
Seriously. No one will talk to you. Would you talk to some random dude on a corner holding a sign as you waited tour turn to go? Fuck no you wouldnt. Neither will anyone else, trust me ive been doing it forever. Just pick a spot and stand there all day, youll get paid. Ive made over a grand in a day just holding a sign that said feed me.
>I'm scared of getting sick from eating out of a dumpster
Wont happen, you arent going to eat shit that will get you sick obviously. You eat fresh shit out of the trash, or sealed shit. Breakfast spots are great, gas stations, pizza shops grocery stores etc. Once you get the hang of it its good eating.
>I'm scared of not making enough money to eat
Impossible. Holding a sign alone will get you more money than youll be able to spend.
>I'm scared of sleeping somewhere not safe
Just stay out of big cities and youll never have anything to worry about
>some niggers robbing everything I have.
Memes arent real life dude. No one wants anything youd have. What is anyone gonna take, your backpack and smelly sleeping bag? Anyways its not the fucking wild west. Just get a dog and every nigger in the country will stay far the fuck away from you.

I just don't see how I can be predisposed to something but that something be just as hard for me than other people that aren't predisposed to it. I feel like I know it's harder for me but that doesn't mean I can't deal with it and it gives me a unique perspective into those feelings that other people don't have.
Where do you sleep? In parks or behind buildings? Where are some good places to hold a sign? Avoiding big cities seems like a good idea, and getting a dog seems like a good one too. You're making a lot of sense to me and it's tempting to try what you're talking about. Thanks for the advice

If i hadnt decided to walk out of my home town with my dog id have 100% an herod by now. I only sleep where im sure no one will see me, if that means walking out of town or climbing onto a roof or something ill do it. Most people just flat out sleep wherever and dont even worry about it. I always had my dog so i had to make sure i was far enough away from people that she wouldnt bark at them.
For signs commuter spots in outlying towns around a city are great. Hit them on fridays when everyone gets paid, find the stop sign nearest the highway where the cars all stack up at rush hour. Anywhere theres traffic that isnt a major intersection is fair game.
Shits ez mode it really is

Op sounds like a good thing to do. Have a crack sometimes that’s all you can do in life. Proud of you..

If you are a nigger kys
Else, either take care of yourself or do christchurch 2.0

Do you ever sleep somewhere out of town and get chiggers or mosquito bites or something? Do you hitchhike to get around? Where do you take showers?
My biggest fear is managing to fuck up and then not having a way to an hero besides slowly starving to death
Thanks mate

>Thinking anyone cares

17 posters cared

Bug spray all you need fam. Mosquitos and flies are some faggots for sure. Get a green hammock with a bug net attached, they sell em at walmart. Then you can be sneaky and not itchy at the same time.
Shower in streams, rivers, lakes, the ocean, gas station bathrooms if needed. Real showers, steal from hotel in the morning, can often shower at shelters/drop ins/community pools. Pay for showers at truck stops/gyms, ask the truckers for one they get free ones as they drive.
You really cant fuck it up. If you get in a shit situation all you have to so is walk away from it. Hitch hiking is called that for a reason, a big part of it is just walking. You get plenty of rides, can cross the entire country hitching in less than a week most times. I have a vehicle now tho.
Go to sleep on some train tracks if you need a free way out

Thanks again, solid advice. I walk a lot already, just going to stores and stuff. I will really think about it. Maybe fate will have it that we meet up one day, and we won't even know. My name is tommy just incase we do. Hope you have a good night man

>would rather be alone and ignore my friends

so you have friends? Fuck you, I'm in my 30s and never had any friends Been living in isolation except when dating chicks from the internet.

Also, bat.

Attached: bat.jpg (400x400, 101K)

By typing here you are competent enough to make friends. Just get a job and make friends like everyone else. Most people can find 1 or 2 people they like to keep around. I only have friends because of high school

Wtfffff

The important part is you admit it and you know you've been shitty. Destruction breeds creation and you're heading in the right direction homie