Do you think it‘s unhealthy to think your GF is the most important thing in your life?

Yes absolutely,how do you get shit done if your main priority is another person.

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Eventually, it gets easier.

it has high chance of disaster

1. Do not EVER kill yourself for a dumb bitch no matter how dumb you are and think she was "the only one" and so forth.
2. She didn't change her mind because of one person telling her shit. She was already having a change of heart and just needed a small nudge, OR she was just adding the "random dude told me" commentary to make you think it was another guy who changed her mind. Why would she do this? Because she's a spineless bitch who can't come to terms of admitting that she doesn't give a shit about you anymore, so she'd rather lie.
3. When a relationship starts getting worse and worse, it's time to move on. Trust me. No matter how happy you think you are, the healthiest decision is to simply move on and suffer for a bit rather than suffer the long term (you probably fell for the "we went through so much shit together, we'd be dumb if we stopped now" bullshit)
4. Long distance relationships are the worst. No matter how good it feels, always but ALWAYS quit it and leave it at a "random flirty chat" stage rather than exaggerating it. Unless you got realistic plans of coming together (maximum of 6 months, like, if in 6 months you won't meet, dump her) it's best to fuck off. Why? Because a true relationship exists only when you can interact face to face & talk for real, not through text at a distance.
5 and final. If she stole money from you and then left you, it's best if you treat her like a villan. Tell her you'll go to the police and file a complaint. The 2 of you being together for 6 dreaded years is no excuse for her to steal any sum of money from you.

She fucking ruined you. Drinking again, she'd use you as a motel service and break up with you one day before therapist meeting? Nah dude. Take it from somebody who took 2 REALLY harsh breakups, I mean orders of magnitude worse than your situation, and I know when it's time to let go for real no matter what you feel.

It depends on the context. Sometimes you don't have much else going for you. Sometimes she shouldn't be.

Not everyone has 'dreams' and that doesn't make them an underachiever. I had a friend like you who was very into their dreams and was constantly pursuing them and could not understand people who did not have those big dreams. We had a friend that shared a studio apartment with his entire family and absolutely loved it. He had a girlfriend that loved to sing but didn't want to pursue it as a career or dream and my friend just couldn't wrap his mind around it.

The majority of people don't have a 'dream'. To the majority of people 'growing up' doesn't mean having a dream, it means letting go of silly 'dreams' and focusing on real work. You aren't an underachiever because you became an insurance broker or a dentist or a carpenter or a plumber. None of these are jobs that you have as a 'dream', but they aren't under achievers in the slightest.

When I said shit about dreams, I never meant being a rockstar or some amazing scientist.

Maybe a dream is being that dentist, or to have a house and solid food on the table.

Not all dreams are big shit you only see in movies. And not all dreams take days to make come true. Some need years upon years until you'll remotely be able to say shit.

Want to make money off streaming? Most people need a year of constant streaming until they gather enough people watching them consistently & have a viewerbase, some need more.

WAnt to make money off forex/stock trading? Go to something like babypips.com, start studying seriously, day by day. It usually takes the average person 1 year until they start to consistently make over 30-50 bucks a day. It takes the average person 5 years to start making a serious sum like 1 to 4 grand a day. Some managed to get into forex trading and got good in a single year, some still failed after 5. It all depends on your mental.

The examples can keep going. You're an underachiever when you have no real dream and are just going on a course set for you in stone that you can't change for the love of Christ himself.

Yes, unhealthy as hell.

He should have said goals, not dreams.

>Not all dreams are big shit you only see in movies.
That is what people associate with 'dreams'. You're the one in the wrong here user, not everyone else.

Even then, he's still wrong. It's okay to put the people in your life ahead of specific goals.

>can't process basic english

Ok user-kun-san-dan-tan-pan.

I disagree. thats a very short sighted way to look at things.

another person should never be the most important thing in your life.

searching for happiness externally is a road to no where.

Shit nigga.
I did this my last 2 previous gf's. I was lost in the world and when i started dating them, i felt they were the only important thing in my life. Of course it's fucking unhealthy. No relationship lasts forever. When i broke twice, i fell into hard alcholism and drug abuse.
Never again. You can't love someone if you don't respect and love thyself.

No,people can associate "dreams" with small jobs such as being a dentist ect. You're thinking of fantasys

I'm just not from a 1st world where a dream can only be being a CEO of some company or a star on TV. So being a doctor/dentist etc can be a dream in my shithole. Fuck, talk about narrow vision.

Why do people keep falling into shit when they break up with another person, it's so weak, fuck.

Depends on how well you manage your situation. If you think you can gain happiness from a single source, you're grossly mistaken.

>another person should never be the most important thing in your life.
This is just some new thing people started saying to fight the culture that was overly obsessed with romance. Until our generation it was considered completely normal to give your life to die for strangers, let alone the woman you loved. Making decisions for yourself and not for your kids is stupid, if you have kids they should unironically be the most important thing in your life. Choosing to forego your DREAMS of becoming a dentist because you'd rather stay close to your family is completely fine.

Relationships aren't 'external', not any more so than your 'dreams' of being a dentist or a fucking vidyah streamer. Jesus Christ, think about how retarded you sound for a minute. Should your default be that your girlfriend is the most important thing in your life? No. Does that always mean it is unhealthy if she is? Also no. And it's not like telling someone she shouldn't be actually changes anything.

Imagine putting your DREAM of playing video games for a living ahead of your family.

>No relationship lasts for ever
Literally nothing lasts forever or even a lifetime, something isn't deemed 'the most important thing' because it lasts forever.

>people can associate "dreams" with small jobs such as being a dentist ect. You're thinking of fantasys
You do know why they are called dreams, right? As in those ridiculous unrealistic things you have at night? You know, like an involuntary fantasy? No one DREAMS of becoming a dentist. You aren't winning this argument you're just sounding retarded.

I was agreeing with you,re-read my post.

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Not most people have a temple of steel. Love for some, is the most gratifying experiences they can experience. Some people give so much love that when they lose someone, they feel so much emptyness that they try to fill it with anything they can. Hence drungs and booze.
Bitch i bet you ain't never fallen in true love

Extremely. That foundation -will- crumble, and what what will you be then?

It also makes you extremely susceptible to manipulation and lies

Make more of yourself

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Ever heard of lucid dreams.

Are you seriously trying to argue that people based the term 'dreams' off of lucid dreaming because they think they are are easily achieved and controllable things? Are you that afraid of admitting you misspoke? You can't just say 'oh, you're right, i probably should have said goals or aspirations'?? You are going to now argue that when people say 'follow your dreams', they are using the word to refer to being a dentist because lucid dreaming is a thing whree you control your dreams (which people never actually use to do mundane things so it still doesn't make sense)?

this, definitely gonna start taking drugs like 6 years ago again once I‘m back where I used to live

And you're gonna have a tantrum becuase you misread a fucking sentence and can't accept that.

>Extremely. That foundation -will- crumble, and what what will you be then?
What's wrong with starting over? Something can be the most important thing without ruining your life. People go through phases. As a kid the most important thing is having fun. In highschool the most important thing is getting good grades, as it is in college. From there it changes constantly. Some people focus on family and relationship, some people focus on hobbies, some people focus on work as the most important thing. All of them tend to lose that foundation at some point and guess what, they just continue with life. 'Most important' doesn't mean the thing you are dependent upon to exist.

Imagine unironically thinking that anyone who points out what a retard you are is throwing a tantrum. The amount of autism required to be that defensive is hilarious.

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Im not gonna type a paragraph over it lmao.

It's not unhealthy per se, but it is probably delusional and likely to increase the stress level significantly when the relationship fails.

I mean I definitely see that now.

Do you think that's a little too far in the opposite direction? Don't get me wrong I think it's stupid when people argue that it is entirely unhealthy to think of your relationship as the most important thing, but my whole point is that 'everyone is different'. Some people make relationships the most important thing, and some people simply don't. Some people can be madly truly in love and it doesn't become the most important thing in their life. I am actually among those ironically despite arguing that it is okay for a relationship to be the most important.

Some people think their girlfriend is the most important thing. Some people think their job is. Neither are 'wrong'.

That's because you don't have anything to say. You're wrong, you know you're wrong, and anytime someone points it out instead of defending your point you just throw insults out. You unironically tried to argue that people refer to unrealistic goals as 'dreams' because of lucid dreaming. And when you get called out on it you just threw insults. You have the intelligence of a fifth grader who think he can bullshit his way with adults.

>226767
true

Not my fault you cant comprehend the word "dreams"

LOL, having copious ammounts of self control and having an overly dominant nature means I never fell in true love?
Dude. I got fucked so badly, it still hurts to this date.

1st cunt:
>when she wanted to break up with me, she talked with my parents about it, made it sound like I was so emotionally unstable, I'd fucking KILL her
>dad shows up, holds me, tells me there's nothing to fear
>girl just starts crying gets out
>I'm confused to no end
>she later on posts that I was extremely abusive, goes as far as to file a complaint with the police
>I get thrown in jail immediately and await court date
>when court date comes, I remember I have a single camera in the room we slept in (and spent 95% of our time in) that captured 24/7 720P color footage and kept the past 6 months of it
>barely got out, she got away scat free, I still had to pay some taxes and got looked at like a woman beating shithead for years

2nd cunt:
>told everybody we knew I was abusive and had MASSIVE issues with drugs/booze (I barely drink once a month, and do occasional weed once a week)
>destroyed 19,000 euros worth of goods, reported me to the police (she knew the old storty, tried the same, I had many more cams around my flat this time, couldn't prove shit but shot herself in the ofot when I showed video footage of her doing and and saying "that will teach this cock sucker to not buy me an iPhone"
>got away scat free, she had to not only pay me around 19,600 euros total, she also had to pay all court taxes and would face up to 11 months jail time
>she talked with some dumbass who burned my car and broke literally all my windows and tried to set fire to my flat
>guy got caught, tried inventing stories, nobody bought it, is in prison for his 6th year
>people think I have mad issues and I can't find a working place because it's a small town

Got reputation stained hard, got mega backstabbed by bitches who took me for granted. I'm as cold as steel in the winter right now.

You also have to remember that you are supposed to be sad during a break up. I am in no way arguing that you SHOULD put relationships first, particularly romantic ones. But it isn't as unhealthy as what anyone else is doing. I mean imagine putting your career as a dentist ahead of everything else in life. No one likes being a dentist that much but we are in this culture that simultaneously says that relationships are the most important thing ever because wow magical fulfilling feelings, but also that being a true independent person is the only way to live life and that means career focus.

Neither is really true. People are just people. You go through phases. You held this girl in high regard. You likely won't hold the next girl in nearly as high a regard because that's how emotional growth works. I used to be the same, then I had a few break ups. Then I invested myself in work, which I loved, but eventually that grew stale. Now the most important thing to me is friends, and that will likely change as I go into my thirties and all my friends start settling down with women and having kids. When I have kids, they will likely become the most important thing as well. As we enter into our 'golden years' the most important thing will suddenly become experiences, vacations, seeing the world, meeting new people, just trying to experience as much as possible before we die, maybe completing some sort of magnum opus or providing something for our kids or grand kids.

That is honestly what is most important if anything can be said to be, growing and learning. It's okay if different things are important to different people, especially at different times.

Says the guy who thinks people 'dream' of being a dentist.

You must come from a fun area.

>hurr durr
>I dream of being bill gates, will take a bit
>hurr durr
>how can somebody be so poor they dream of being respectable people of the society making decent dough
>hurr durr, so poor

Fucking kill yourself. The quicker the better. Holy narrow vision cocksucker.

I'm literally in Hollywood pursuing a dream. It's called a dream because it is unrealistic and not likely to come true, like a dream you have at night. All those quotes about following your dreams aren't to tell people they have what it takes to be a plumber.

I gotta say I love the dentist meme in this thread lmao

>I dream of making 99.5 billion dollars and being a household name
Yes, that is a dream, an unrealistic goal.

Not being a plumber or a dentist. Those are just goals, plans, etc.

follow your dreams.

No, not the ones of being famous or rich, the one of being a plumber.

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Because they adhere to people who are mentally weak and think good things in life come easy only if you think hard enough.

LOL, how fucking dense must you be to compare fucking plumbing with being a dentist.
You realistically sound like that dumbass chad who thinks such a profession is easily achievable, but forget how many textbooks you go through and just how much shit you memorize.

Stop fucking talking. I think I lost 30 IQ just reading your idiotic, ignorant douche ass talk. Go ahead and compare a plumber, a job that is downright destitute work with healthcare to somebody else and come back in case you'll be called anything but a moronic neanderthal.

Keep spamming "plumber" left and right brosky. Oh my god. THis is how stupid americans naturally are.

Go dream of being a billionaire by the age of 23 you dumb sack of sorry shit. You probably still live with your parents in the house and are funded by them still.

if you're a mature adult then no not necessarily but if you're a dumb teenager who shouldn't even be on Yea Forums then yes, now get off Yea Forums

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Yes,nothing wrong with having a stable career that takes years of education as dream.Docter,dentist,welder,not plumber exactly

>I think I lost 30 IQ just reading your idiotic, ignorant douche ass talk.
Congratulations, your IQ is 5 now.

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fuck outta here faggot, I‘ve probably been here longer than you‘ve been born

>What's wrong with starting over?

Speaking from experience, nothing, my reset was genuinely greatly beneficial

My point was that one needs to keep oneself, instead of letting that sense of self and life in general be subsumed by another

You need to be first, but they can be second. Not in a selfish way, but in a self-preserving way. Otherwise, you open up massive vulnerabilities in yourself which will inevitably be taken advantage if, whether intentionally or not

and in all that time you've never asked this question and had it answered before ?

There's nothing 'wrong' with it, but that doesn't make it a 'dream'. It just makes it a goal.

>I disagree with you
>therefore you live with your parents!
Wow, it really DOES sound like you lost another 30 IQ points. No, I haven't spoken to my parents in years and live on my own in los angeles in a big beautiful apartment.

It's okay if you dream about being a plumber though. It is a bit unrealistic for someone like you, but if you dream hard enough I'm sure you can fix my toilet for me one day.

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I mean you're getting into semantics here. Many people would unironically take a bullet for their loved ones, yes even their girlfriend.

No, of course not. You don‘t ask Yea Forums for advice, I just don‘t have anyone to talk to right now.

Just because you put someone first doesn't mean you're committing to that for life. Putting someone first is normal but your priorities can change as they change and the relationship changes.

Agreeable.

everyone itt

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Massive typos lol.

>That has been my point from the get go. The other user is just arguing autistically instead of saying 'oh I should have said 'goals' instead of 'dreams'.

the filename killed me

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Imagine being abused as a child and expressing it by rage posting plumber photos with inspirational quotes over them just because some guy said he wants to become a dentist and you think a dentist and a plumber are the same thing.

Imagine losing 30 IQ points anytime someone points out how wrong you were about something.

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I think you guys are right. I‘ll try to forget my ex and start focusing on the important things in life, like becoming a plumber. But seriously thanks everyone, thread really helped.

Not even the same poster bud, but seeing your comments around here, keep being butthurt over somebody wanting to make a life for themselves while you're still probably on minimum wage, lol.

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Don't le anyone tell you that you can't user! Millions of people dream of being a plumber, but only the best of the best can dream hard enough.

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You misunderstand, probably because you are that user and did lose those 30 IQ points. I'm not saying there is anythign wrong with wanting to make a life for themselves, I think it is the smarter thing to do. The argument is literally about what defines a 'dream'. Wanting to make a life for yourself, to just have a stable job and income, is not a dream. That is the norm.

>I disagree wtih you so you make minimum wage
Yeah, wouldn't be able to afford my giant Hollywood apartment of that was true, but whatever makes you feel better.

Other people are the ONLY important thing in my life. I exist for compassion's sake. Of course, this is me doing what's important to me. It's not 'an other person', but compassion itself, toward myself and others - which can only be experienced as an action.

Obviously, if a person can't be happy alone then they're lacking key parts of self. But a life in service-to-others is still a life well lived.

The only distinction between dreams and reality is defined in the act of waking. One can dream about being a dentist, or about being an animal, etc. I think the key semantic here is that dreams aren't limited by reality, but they still take place without breaching those limits. They are idempotent.

>Wanting to make a life for yourself, to just have a stable job and income, is not a dream. That is the norm.
Plenty of people dream of a warm bed and full stomach, a world where everyone gets their basic needs met without the violence of currency.

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Can't believe no one asked you the most important question: hows that ass???

>Imagine being abused as a child
>Imagine

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>if a person can't be happy alone then they're lacking key parts of self.
This is a standard I hold myself to, and I think it is cool that you do too, but I don't think that is true of everyone. Some people are born to be in families. This idea that everyone needs to be able to find happiness and fulfillment entirely alone is a really new and anti biological idea. It's a great philosophy but in practice that is just saying that people need to actually turn away from what makes them happy in order to fit some societal standard.

> One can dream about being a dentist, or about being an animal, etc.
You are diving way too deep into semantics. The reason we refer to UNREALISTIC goals as 'dreams' is because they are like our dreams, unrealistic. Yes you can have realistic dreams but that isn't what they are known for.

>Plenty of people dream of a warm bed and full stomach,
and if it is unrealistic then it is a dream. But in the first world this is literally the norm.

M8 like hek I own 3 mansions in Malibu but ain't bragging.

The funny thing is I wasn't lying.