Guys I need to come clean with something I've kept bottled up most my life... And see if anyone can relate

Intrusive toughts.
Everyone gets those but in your case it sounds like they are constant and annoying, that's when you should get a bit worried.

Very common in schizophrenia and other psychosis.

Being psychotic doesn't always mean you see and hear shit like it feels coming from outside.
I'm no doc but I guess they would write you up with some low dose antipsychotics to see if that gets them in check and to ensure it doesn't get to a full blown psychosis.

Shit sucks, man.

I think the more you think about it, the worse it'll get. Just believe in yourself, annon.

Stop offering book fandom as a cure to potential mental issues caused by chemistry. You are doing more harm than good.

Its ocd mate.. in german its "zwangsimpuls". Cant find the correct translation for this tho

I have the same the same when it comes to being around heights or around train platforms. I'd say as long as you know you won't ever to it, it's ok, but maybe try seeing a psychiatrist about it.

Lol spreading love is more harmful? Wow.

as a licensed therapist, I would tell you to give yourself the opportunity to give into these thoughts and see if they resolve naturally. Slam that bitch in the gob, grab a branch off the family tree, really lean into it, see if it helps.

Chemistry lol funny. So i know someone who did e, shrooms, acid, nos, meth when raving was at its all time high. A sober, righteous Church group leader now. Try again k? Dont assume just because yoor desires are blocking you from doing it too.

Thats why I never got on drugs for my anxiety, I felt like it wouldve made it worse in the long run.

I do take valerian root, a very mild natural relaxer, used as a sleep aid. I use then when I feel a panic attack coming on, it helps and has no side effects, but even then I try to not take it much or at all.

Well thats definitely my main fear, that I'm going crazy. But besides the psycho shit my brain does TO ME, on the deeper level I'm totally all there and rational.

Don't misconstrue maturation for god's mysterious miraculous saving grace. I did plenty of drugs in my day, been clean for years, and god had nothing to do with it. People just grow up and get bored of frequent drug use.

Sounds like bad bacteria or intestinal worms. Cleanse your blood with root barks and herbs.

OCD? When I think about ocd I think of "What about bob?"... Like having to wash your hands obsessively and in a certain way. Not this mental crap.

if Valerian root is helping, you should try CBD. 15-25mg two or three times a day will help your noggin. Eye dropper of CBD oil under the tongue, hold it there as long as you can before swallowing.

Cool. Bet you wont say what really helped.

Still dont see why you had to intrude when i asked him to focus on love. Support from his gf is also via love. So tell me, what helped you? Oh was it turning away from it, kinda like the definition of reformation?

This.
I know it's hard to deal with mental issues. But your brain 100% controls your body, emotions, mood, how you feel. You can use your brain to overcome these problems. U have to start telling yourself what you need to do like "I'm ok I can overcome this, I will not have these thoughts" make yourself believe what you tell yourself, act like you believe it. Try to ignore the bad thoughts, think of ways to change your train of thought.
This is a hard process but the more you do it the better you get
And natural mood enhancers are prolly a good thing as long as they are 100% natural.

OCD manifests in many forms. Media has normalized it as "obsessive cleaning disorder." Its not. Compulsive is the key word in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Nothing "helped" me. I didn't believe I had a problem with drugs. In hindsight, I certainly did, but simply deciding that I wanted to be more than a techno-loving drug addict was enough to give me the resolve to walk away from it. My point is that human beings should be strong enough to make decisions for themselves, not put their faith in fickle abstractions like love or skyfag.

Well in that case, OCD is brutally horrible, and not the quirky shit that most people just make fun.

Lol the point is not every one has the luxury of being in your position. U say nothing helped but unaware that in fact something or someone did. That's funny.

The subconscious is weird. There is a very easy way around it. Say in your head, "thank you for the image but no thank you. I do not want that"

It's strange but works for me. Less weird thoughts surface after time.

Not sure why youd even say skyfag. So i guess believers push the homosexual agenda now. You sure have things backwards but hey, it was supposed to be this way, eventually.

Look, you did some acid, and it induced a little schizophrenia. No big deal, just engage your higher brain function and prevent yourself from turning run-of-the-mill morbid curiosity into life-ending actions.

Same issue OP, What I did is distract myself to not think of it again

You also mentioned you walked away from it. Again, reformation came before you were born. I bet your religious parents know it, which is how they raised you and if not, their parents. Remember, the devil is a liar

Don't act like you know me godfag. Proselytize elsewhere. Faith in external objects, concepts, and entities is existential cuckoldry.

Sounds like psychosis to me. I used to have these hallucinations of me beating my brother to death. At first when it started happening, I thought that I really had done it and I freaked the fuck out.

Anyway, go to a proper shrink, you might have to do some time in the nut house but it's not horrible as long as you dont sperg out and start being violent or abusive to the staff or patients there. Once they find the cocktail that makes you normalish with the least side effects, you're set for a few years until dosages have to be adjusted.

Funny you keep saying you walked away from it. The idea to reform came before you were born.

He’s using the ‘fag’ in “skyfag” in the Yea Forums colloquial sense of the word. You knew that, you’re just playing dense for some reason.

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But hey your religious parents who raised you with those fundamentals knew it or at least their parents since youre so backwards

"Reformation" came long before your Bible. Morality, responsibility, and atonement for wrongdoing are innate concepts for basic human consciousness, occurring in both secular and theistic cultures equally. If anything, your religion has bastardized these concepts to justify rape, slaughter, and colonialism for centuries.

Try not to get too mad at him. He just can’t comprehend how a person can be strong without the crutch of religion.

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Oh okay, from who? Lol

Oh okay then. From who?

Yeah dont forget that my primary advice for op was to focus on love more than all else then here came the luciferians

I agree with the shit from above. Get a psychologist.

Invest a lot of time in looking for one tho. When you get the wrong doc he wont help you at all .-. You have to kinda connect personally to them.

you've got unwanted thought syndrome, probably connected to boderline personality disorder or something similar. go see a psychiatrist, get on meds.

It's called OCD. This is just another manifestation of it. I had that as a child. I also remember those...not an urge becasue I knew I wouldn't do it...but still, the fear and shame if I did.

Hey buddy
Those are called intrusive thoughts, everyone gets them, some people more than others though.

Definitely consider seeing a psychologist, they'll be able to help you with the worries you're having about them

You're probably young and adjusting yet, as for depression, get busy doing things that matters, and you'll be okay.

A good PCP, counselor and psychiatrist (meds?) . It's chemical so we need chemistry to readjust things. The talking helps retrain the mind to a better place and guide the chemicals in rebalance things. PCP linked in to help promote general overall health. Maybe even talk with a pharmacist about supplements.

Expect the meds to need changing to find the right ones and dosage and be sure any supplements have the USP seal. USP is a real thing and very important when taking any supplements

Yeah exactly, I say urge cause I don't know how to describe it. It's not like an urge of something I want to do. It's just this sudden fear and thought that swells up intensely and very quickly, and before I know it I'm fighting it back in my mind like "dont hit her! dont hit her!".

So yeah it's not an urge to do something, it's a fear that it's going to happen - with me or without me.

Did you do anything to get rid of it or did you just grow out of it?

It may be. A projection of yourself. Wanting to have all the controls. And controls to hurt people. Everone need to be self confident and do the best karma often. We need to learn and the brain maybe fuck up in some ways but it has the solution. And if you want to talk mystery and spirituality. Its a (domain) field

as previously stated, these concepts are inherent to human consciousness. Morality are faith are not mutually exclusive. Assuming anyone who does not subscribe to your dogma is immoral or somehow owes their morality to the grace of your god is in logical opposition to the very idea of being created in god's image.

Furthermore, you're suggesting that someone with an obvious chemical imbalance put their faith in "love." Are you a christian scientist? Do you lay hands on every leukemic child and miraculously health their afflictions? And when they die anyways, do you cloak your denial in "god's plan"? Religious people are the definition of schizophrenic.

I recommend you try Vipassana meditation. There are serious scientific studies showing it works.

Can you give me a quick breakdown what that is?

and studies showing it works for what exactly?

It might be a parasite

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Good question. No, i dont believe in science. Like all other distracting subjects, it's just an other reason to not focus on what's important in life. Medicine? Up until the 1800s people relied on God through the Church in which exorcists were assigned to them according to whatever pain they had, of course there were alternative methods such as sorcery and witchcraft, God's creations being used in vain. Power and Mysticism in the introduction of anesthetics - yale, babyfat and belladonna. U know what witches used? Poisonous herbs, oigs and babies from dug up graves used today in a lesser degree under sophisticated terms such as fetal cells and porcine gelatin. Pharmacy is modern english for the greek word pharmakeia, derives directly from it. Biblical definition for it is sorcery and witchcraft.

user obviously your true path is to become a serial killer

If you started jerking off to traps and BBC then you might just be using Yea Forums too much lmfao

God's plan.. you see what sucks for you is that you dont know what will happen when you die but Christians must. Such was the way even through countless persecution of eye-witness followers of Christ even centuries after, i.e. nero burning Christians in the streets of rome to illuminate the night.

Work perfectly in a beautiful mind

I'll tell you a bit about my experience. If you're interested you can do the googling for the studies.

I have anxiety, not extreme, but annoying. I started grad school in another country, leaving everyone I knew behind. I started meditating because a friend told me it can help put things into perspective.

The benefits I experienced are: reduced anxiety, being able to relate and understand other people's problems, more mental clarity, way more perspective on my life, worry less about irrelevant things in life. And in general I just feel better and happier.

I think for you, it can help you deal with the thoughts. Meditation is great for acceptance, and Vipassana is especially concerned with seeing thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. You are not your thoughts, and (provided you don't have serious mental problems) you can learn to not be controlled by your thoughts.

What really beats me is why the pharisees hated Jesus so much, kinda like you, when all he did was teach love and heal. Maybe it's because he said they were children of the devil, huh? I mean the ta lmud encourages each other to kill gentiles indirectly when they are most probably gentiles themselves lol. I wonder so, if God said not to conform to the ways of the world, yakno cus satan was casted down to earth, who controls what you see and learn besides the teachings of Jesus which hhs command was to love eavh other. Wait, who's pushing all these agendas again..??? Like injecting pig gelatin and fetal tissue "harvested" from clinics lmao. Ye nice chat buddy. Let the world lie to you then

One more thing. If you decide you want to try meditation, give it some time. It takes practice and you notice the dyeep benefits only gradually.

Something it helped me with a lot is anger management. This is something I forgot to mention, because it has reduced it almost to zero. I used to get mad or to be uncomfortable extremely easy, all the time. This doesn't happen anymore.

Do you smoke weed? If so try to lower the usage or even quit for some time.
I've used to have the same exact mental issues as you described, they are gone since I lowered my weed usage (down to 0.2g from 1 or even 2g each day).
Also don't smoke all day long, be sober for some hours al least.

One more thing before i go. You said God's image? 1 John 4:8 "he who does not love does not know God, because God is love". So the idea of God's image as you already know is when he created adam and eve. What did He say after they ate from the tree of KNOWLEDGE? He said now they knew both good and evil. Before they ate from the tree, they were created in His image with instructions to eat vegetables and fruits but because as time goes by, just like sodom and gamorra, ppl become so stupid and self-righteous to the point they lose focus due to more unnecessary knowledge that becomes available, such as meditation without hinting prayer haha, or fasting in vain without the purpose of further bonding with God. Bye!