Hello Yea Forumsros, been a while since i've posted anything on this board but i've come seeking advice...

Hello Yea Forumsros, been a while since i've posted anything on this board but i've come seeking advice, as from experience i know Yea Forums can give some great advice/support.

So basically my father was diagnosed with Bile Duct cancer that moved to his liver and formed a cancer the size of a softball this was about 3 months ago, and he was told it was terminal. So in order to extend his life he undertook chemo in the hope to get 6months - 1 year.

His scan results came back a few days ago and unfortunately the chemo has failed and the cancer in his liver has grown larger. And i've just been informed his life expectancy has been reduced to 1 - 2 weeks.

Since he lives out of state i'll be flying in tomorrow morning, but i'm in a state of shock and i'm not sure what i'm feeling i'm not balling my eyes out or anything but i just feel very weird or i guess it feels like everything is surreal.

So basically my question is do any of you Yea Forumsros have any advice you can give or ways i can stop feeling like this? I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this and don't want to make my Dad uncomfortable with these kind of things in his final days. Sorry for the block of text but that was good to get off my chest

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Rushing/cheating the stages of grief prolongs it. Also, lots of hereditary genes can cause cancer so get yourself checked very often. and don't forget to record your dad. I didn't and it still hurts.

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What do you mean by rushing / cheating grief?

Is that something i seem to be doing or something you're suggesting?

You don't try to stop feeling like this, you live through it and eventually you move on. When my dad died I felt mostly relief. It wasn't because we didn't love him, it was because I knew he was miserable for months and months.

Full house with triple six, those digits, man.

>any advice you can give or ways i can stop feeling like this?

Well i can kinda relate to feeling like that, is there anything you wish you would've done at the time. I haven't prepared any question to ask or anything as i'm not sure if just being natural would be better

Feel the pain. You’re in denial trying to repress, you’re saying no to the hurt. Just let it bleed. Don’t shut off your feelings. Tell him you love him and it’s okey if he sees you suffering.

See a therapist or smoke some weed user

How can i feel grief before he's passed away, shouldn't i be happy? I'm almost nervous to see him

Sorry to hear that. Best of luck in life, user

You’re so out of touch with your feelings. Go spend 4 hours on a park bench with no phone and see what happens.

According to the grief manual it says...

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No, there is nothing I really regret about it. We had plenty of warning from doctors that he was on his way out and frankly, I saw it before anyone. Not because I'm psychic or more qualified than a doctor, I think I was just preparing myself by expecting the worst (because if I turned out to be wrong, it's a bonus). Anything I had to say to him I made sure to say it in time, and he did the same. He couldn't speak at all the last few days because of the drugs but he would watch people as they came in so I'd just kind of stand there for a while and hang with him. Then he went to sleep and didn't wake up and another few days later, it was over.

Maybe that's where i went wrong i was too optimistic, nice to hear you got the most out of it user. Wish you all the best in future endeavours

I think it's important to try to be kind. To yourself and to those around you. This is such a weird time, and no-one is prepared for it, so I think it takes honesty in understanding your emotions and like other have written, not trying to hide away your fears and other negative emotions. Turn to those who may feel similar, and cry with them if you want to. I think you need to work out how you want to be with your Dad.

As odd as it sounds, I think you can find and hold on to any element of joy and positivity during this time. These are dark days, but there can be laughter and joy and memories that will stay with you forever. It's a horrible, tough lesson, but an important one; life is more nuanced than it is possible to imagine.

My old man died of liver cancer. It ain’t pretty. You going to learn to toughen up real quick boyo

Ask if you can have his steam account

Offer to suck him off one more time op

>I think you can find and hold on to any element of joy and positivity during this time

That's how it was when my dad died, because most of my extended family all get along (and there were a lot of fucking people in town for this, biggest wake I've ever attended). I'd hate to be in a family at a time like this where half the people hated each other to begin with.