hey anons ! so, the new iOS 13 is gonna be announced in a few months, and i was thinking about this : how about we do another marketing campaign about a non-existing feature which can severly damage iPhones ? like with iOS 7 and 8 ! i'm open to ideas, i'll try doing some graphics for the marketing.
let's do this Yea Forums !
Other urls found in this thread:
quora.com
discord
twitter.com
bump
Why don't you start. It's an awesome idea.
Microwave done
Waterproof done
Drill hole to reveal aux input done
What else?
okay anons, OP here, i'm first searching about a possible new iphone in this year's keynote, with this info we can make the marketing more accurate.
okay, so possibly 5 iphones for this year, all with iOS 13, we can engage in brainstorming to find THE feature that will damage those phones.
wait, are we supposed to think of a good feature they cant deliver or a really shitty one?
We're supposed to make a shitty thing to do that can destroy the phone to make it believable for the buyers
all ideas appreciated, right now i'm thinking about the fingerprint reader, but if they copy OnePlus and add one directly in the screen it's no good.
not necessarily "shitty", a thing that consumers will believe
>inb4 advanced algorithms
OP here, i thought about the flashlight, but it's too complicated to damage it without proper equipment, so i'm still thinking.
Anyone who buys an iphone is bordeline retarded
maybe say it's durable? can withstand hammers and getting dropped and shit like that.
how. about. fall resistance. up to. 15 meters ?
if we say that the new iOS 13 uses
>extremly advanced algorithms
to deploy a protective liquid on the outside of the screen to protect it, and disables the battery ?
and we say that the chassis is also protected by said liquid ! it's genius ! let's call it Apple Shock ! or Apple Fall ?
What about this feature
We make them believe that putting the phone in the freezer for (x)hours which will make the phone's battery life last longer than it should be but in reality it will cause a huge damage on the phone's battery life which will shorten its battery life and it can possibly destroy the phone
...
Maybe do like a fake video where you hammer it and then show it will survive
Putting phone in the freezeer wont do shit to it
Call it Newton ya dumb fuck
that's a great idea too ! in the same optic of Wave, we call it Cold !
I have a proof that putting it in the freezer can damage it
quora.com
then it is settled.
the brand new feature of iOS 13 will be called :
Newton.
Don’t fuck with the phone, we’ve done that, fuck with the airpods, say something that IOS 13 now increases water resistability. Just say it’s always been there but just now have been enabled when integrating with the new IOS 13
okay, i'm making a shitty prototype of Newton on Canva, i'll post it in a few minutes.
Say it has a new titanium mixed glass screen capable of withstanding a bullet or getting drove over by a car
airpods can now resist water with the new iOS 13.
but i still persist in the Newton.
okay guys, here goes the shitty prototype on canva.
this gonna be good... what else you need halp with?
need help in the graphics, i'll drop right now the improved version of the prototype with the registered and trademark symbols, it will be your job to add the image and legals, i'm shit at that.
here ya go.
Op is fucking geniuses, all of you are fucking geniuses
poop. kk
There's a spelling error in the canva it should be developed not "developped"
it's not over yet, the fun is only beginning, we just need to make the prototype into a real thing.
thanks user, i'll fix that right now.
There's a spelling error in the canva
It should be Developed not developped
here, fixed some spelling errors and other stuff.
It should also be Revolutionary not "Revolutionnary" user
Bamp for interest. Newton has gps for AirPods
I think we should make a discord cause proper planning posters and campaigning is gonna take long thread will be gone in few hours
there goes the fourth one.
agreed, i'm gonna recycle one of my old discord servers to do this.
Newton makes devices drone like or self aware
Retarded iPhone user here. Speaking for apple community when I say we won’t believe that. Take what other user said about attacking airpods or other items. Apple was supposed to make a wireless charger called “air power” but cancelled it this year so what if we take that and say the reason they cancelled it is because “the tech was there in the phones, watches and air pods all along, if your phone can wirelessly charge, just set the phone on a Forman grill or something” very similar to microwave but we’d be dumb enough to fall for it again after cancellation of air power
okay... i'll take that in consideration, thanks user !
Say it can induce heat into power but only 80C up or idk how much do you need to make the battery go boom
Then make the putting the phone in the freezer a feature
okay anons, here is the link TzGw4tM
okay so apparently both iphone and android batteries are supposed to work between 0 to 35 degrees Celsius (or 32 to 95 in retard/farheneit), so if we use the feature we'll need at least a freezer, because fridges are designed to work between 4 to 6 degrees celsius, freezers are at -3 degrees.
« IWeight »
You can now step on the phone and it will reveal your current weight and a few advices to lose / gain weight
this
not bad! join the discords, I'm on both, danKo is me.
That wont screw the battery, it may damage its battery life and thats about it
You can actually go well into - 20 and be fine
We should try fuckin with data this type than the actual phone like get them to do shit that is gonna compromise their data and shit any ideas eg make a phishing page where they can login to get imaginary features for their phones.
Active /r9k/ Discord, stay out normalfags:
discord
lI-X-Il]37[lI-X-Il
.gg/vvftDyy