Hi, I wanted to commit suicide for years.
I thought I was transgender
I thought I could walk through walls
I thought I could move though cars
I stabbed myself and I couldn't feel it
I drank litres of alcohol per day
I couldn't sleep for days
I drank up to 7 energy drinks a day
I got into weed (but no other drugs, even though I wanted too. I was too crazy for people to sell them to me)
I went really bonkers.
I wrote a 133 page suicide note, many of the pages look like a schizo wrote them.
I was having delusions, hallucinations, depression, anxiety, heart palpitations, amnesia, so many things were going wrong with me.
before all of this I was a student in Uni with a 4.06 GPA
(I had a shit tonne of money from working up north in the oil and gas camps and I rented, so there was a direct withdrawal from my very large bank account)
I lived by myself. A virgin at 24 to top it off.
I tried killing myself, but I was a pussy too. I got really drunk when I did it. To help me with the edge. It didn't work and I was rolling around on the floor in pain.
I was found and my parents came hours out to see me. I still payed for everything as I was made much more than my parents, but they took me away. I failed courses and I thought my life was over.
It feels like that today. I feel like I died. I feel like I was reborn. I still have some of the problems that I did before. I am not on any medication, but I am glad that I did not kill myself.
My life is better.
If there are two things that I would reccommend to you. Vitamin B12 and proper rest. This will help you I guarantee it.