Welcome to the Salty Spitoon

I pounded your dad’s ass all night long and made your mom watch

almost got my shoulder blown totally off in a hunting accident

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I shit my pants and kept it in all day.

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I am currently hospitalized in a psych ward. Psych patients are the toughest people on earth.

i stubed my toe finger in a table and just cried for 1 hour

How tough am I? I rough frame in Michigan winters

I survived Hiroshima and Nagasaki

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I was in the ib program

I had a bowl of milk this morning, without any nails.

The IB ain't shit, especially if you took dumb fuck classes like math studies. Just be greatful you probably didn't have to take it in a school where most teachers are raging SJWs that take up class time to explain "the gender spectrum" when they should be prepping us for a TOK exam.

I'm so tough I browse the internet with my firewall disabled

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I piss while jacking off in the bathroom so I don't wet the bed

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I have watched every episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

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I kinda fucking hate that, nice.

How tough am I? HOW TOUGH AM I?!
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

IM CALLING TRIPS
NOW

Sorry, right this way sir

Sorry right this way sir.

I definitely belong in Weenie Hut Junior with my depressed ass self

I got the inside of my forearm slashed open deep one time and I literally stitched myself up with a rusty needle and thread

It was awful and I am badass

I’m trans and have to live every day of my life wishing I had been born as a female instead of suffering like this

discord
X]-X)18(X-[X
.gg/vvftDyy

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Check’em

I listen to a women tell me about her day for a full minute before i tuned her out

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I got a splinter today.

I didn’t cry for three whole minutes.

Without any milk.

yeah i think you would be more comfortable here

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